Of Battles and Coconuts

-Camp Dominators-

The girls were having a slipper party (which none of the boys were invited to). The boys down below were scowling as they heard the girls happy squeals.

"Well I say we have our own party!" Xigbar said jumping up.

"Now yer talkin'!" Cid exclaimed.

"Sooo...what are we gonna do?" Demyx asked.

Xaldin (who had finally woken up a few minutes beforehand) stepped forward and said,

"Let's have a battle royal." The others shrugged and okayed the idea. They all fashioned themselves weapons and decided that the first match would be Saix vs. Demyx.

Demyx took one look at Saix's giant stick and cowered in fear.

"I give up!" Demyx sobbed. The next match was Xigbar vs. Cloud.

"Move out of the way you wuss so that I can kick blondie's butt." Xigbar said pulling out two sharpened branches. Cloud pulled out his sword (which looked more like a sharpened tree trunk) Xigbar looked at his two branches and his shoulders sagged.

"Oh shit."

Cloud charged him and opened a can of whoop ass on the freelance shooter. The last match was Cid vs. Xaldin. It was an overall boring fight and no one paid attention. Marluxia had flat out refused to join the competition and was instead prancing around the campsite planting flowers. The fight ended and Xaldin won.
"Let's all fight each other at the same time." Xaldin suggested looking at the winners of the first two bouts. So, the fight began and Xaldin was promptly knocked out by a flying radish. Cloud and Saix fought until their weapons resembled toothpicks, and when they were too small, they resorted to bitch slapping each other. Finally, Saix gave out and lost to Cloud's superior slapping abilities. After a few minutes of rest, Cid asked,

"So what are we going to do now?"

Xaldin looked thoughtful then said, "Let's do it again."

-Camp Warriors of Justice-

Riku stood up on his rock of leadership and said, "People! We need to start making things were gonna need in order to survive on this isla- hey! Are you even listening to me?! Fine then, be that way!" And Riku walked off into the forest. Xemnas was complaining to Sephiroth about their team name being Warriors of Justice.

"I mean, We're villains! We shouldn't be subjugated to this goody two shoes name! We should make that idiot Ansem change it - what do you think?"

Sephiroth looked at Xemnas and said, "Speak to me again and I will skin you alive."

Xemnas 'eeped' and ran off to talk to Lexaeus about the importance of ballpoint pens. Axel and Zexion were busy making lunch.

"Hahahah! Burn baby burn!" The pyromaniac shouted.

"Axel, if you keep saying that, it's going to get old." Zexion said with a bored expression. Vexen was busy trying to conduct very important scientific experiments. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't getting very far.

"Come on! Let's go look for monkeys!" Sora pleaded, giving Vexen his best pouting look. however, since Vexen is a cold hearted dumbass, he was immune to Sora's puppy dog expression.

"Get away from me, you filthy cretin. Don't you have someone else to annoy?" Vexen asked looking at the boy with disdain. Sora scowled and answered,

"No. Everyone else said no and Riku said he was too busy 'trying to survive'" He said the last part attempting to imitate Riku.

"That didn't even sound remotely close to Riku's voice." Vexen said.

"Yeah, I know. my mom said that I should stick to my day job." Sora said with a shrug.

"She's right. I'm still not going to play with you - it would ruin my image." Vexen said.

"What image?!" Luxord laughed as he passed them.

"Grrr! Elders your respect! I mean your elders respect! Argh, you know what I mean!" Vexen fumed.

"Foods ready!" Axel called.

Everyone came over and Axel handed them all coconuts ad bananas.

'How did you manage to burn the coconuts?" Leon asked with an eyebrow raised. It was true - all of the coconuts had scorch marks on them.

Axel grinned sheepishly and said, "Enjoy."

Right in the middle of eating their burnt coconut a la mode, a pigeon suddenly swooped down and dropped a letter in Sephiroth's coconut. The man glared bloody murder at the bird. The poor pigeon got so scared, it had a heart it had a heart attack and spontaneously combusted. Sephiroth smirked and read the letter. Looking up he said,

"Can you believe I'm actually talking about something other than mass slaughter or my hatred of Cloud?" ...Okay, I'll admit it - he didn't really say that, instead, here is what he really said, "It appears we have a challenge." Dropping the letter he walked off in a vague direction.

Sephiroth is awesome... i just got done watching Advent Children. Most. Awesome. Movie. Ever.

review or I'll sic sephy on you! Just kidding! evil grin