The next day was filled with…shopping. Mrs. Finnigan had brought them to Diagon Alley late after lunch, much to the abhorrence of the fourth years. "We can either do it now and beat the crowds, or do it later in a frenzy," she said, after the six teenagers complained of sudden bouts of malaria and broken limbs.

"Later in a frenzy," Seamus said.

"Too bad, Seamus. We're shopping today, and that's that."

At nine o'clock, four hours later, laden with bags from Flourish and Blotts, Madam Malkin's, Quality Quidditch Supplies, Eeylops Owl Emporium, and the Apothecary, eight weary shoppers slumped back into the Leaky Cauldron, nursing sore feet and drained pocketbooks.

"Oh, shopping, how I loathe thee," Katelyn moaned, dropping her bags on the floor and flexing her tired arms.

"Oh, pretending to be like Shakespeare, how I loathe thee," Rachel said testily.

Katelyn stuck her tongue out at her friend, and Seamus quickly stepped between them before an argument could begin.

"I think we're all much too tired," Mrs. Finnigan said. "I'll not be having you go off to school with only a few hours of sleep. We've already eaten, so I want you all to take your things upstairs, pack for school, and go to bed."

"Right away," Haley added for good measure.

"All right, all right," they all groaned, and one by one filed up the stairs.

"I'm so excited for school," Rachel said when the girls were all in their room. She pulled her new school robes out of the bag and smelled them deeply before folding them neatly and placing them in her trunk.

"No kidding," Haley said. "Fourth year was a blast for me and Oliver."

"You two didn't start going out until fifth," Hannah put in.

"I know," Haley replied. "But it was fun nonetheless."

"Does anyone want candy?" Tanya asked brightly, holding up a multicolored cardboard box. "I got it at Honeydukes'."

"What does it do?" Katelyn asked curiously.

"It says here: 'Entertain multitudes with your amazing singing abilities! Complete with music and words.' As an example, I'll go first." She jumped up and picked a chocolate brown candy from the box, and then popped it into her mouth. A moment passed, then bright piano music issued from what seemed like her ears. Then she opened her mouth, the nasally, witty voice of Tom Lehrer filling the room.

"From the Bible to the popular song,

There's one theme that we find right along.

Of all ideals we hail as good,

The most sublime is motherhood.

There was a man, though, who it seems,

Once carried this ideal to extremes.

He loved his mother and she loved him,

And yet his story—is rather grim."

"I love this song!" Rachel cried as there was a brief musical interlude.

"There once lived a man named Oedipus Rex.

You may have heard about his odd complex.

His name appears in Freud's index,

'Cause he loved his mother!

His rivals used to say quite a bit

That as a monarch he was most unfit.

But still, in all, they had to admit

That he loved his mother!

Yes, he loved his mother like no other.

His daughter was his sister and his son was his brother.

One thing on which you can depend is,

He sure knew who a boy's best friend is.

When he found what he had done,

He tore his eyes out, one by one.

A tragic end to a loyal son

Who loved his mother!

So be sweet and kind to mother,

Now and then, have a chat.

Buy her candy or some flowers or a brand new hat.

But maybe you had better let it go at that.

Or you may find yourself with a quite complex complex,

And you may end up like Oedipus.

I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus

Than end up like old Oedipus Rex!"

Tanya swept a deep bow and pranced back to her bed as the other girls clapped and laughed. "I'll go next," said Katelyn. She jumped up and chose a bright blue candy, and the chorus-y voices of the Beatles came from her mouth.

"In the town where I was born

Lived a man who sailed the seas.

And he told us of his life

In the land of submarines.

So we sailed into the sun

'Till we found a sea of green

And we lived beneath the waves

In our yellow submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine

Yellow submarine

Yellow submarine.

We all live in a yellow submarine

Yellow submarine

Yellow submarine.

And our friends are all aboard

Many more of them live next door

And the band begins to play—

We all live in a yellow submarine

Yellow submarine

Yellow submarine.

We all live in a yellow submarine

Yellow submarine

Yellow submarine.

As we live a life of ease

Every one of us has all we need

Sky of blue and sea of green

In our yellow submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine

Yellow submarine

Yellow submarine.

We all live in a yellow submarine

Yellow submarine

Yellow submarine.

We all live in a yellow submarine

Yellow submarine

Yellow submarine.

We all live in a yellow submarine

Yellow submarine

Yellow submarine."

"Good job, Katelyn," Hannah laughed as Katelyn gave a smart salute. "Is it my turn?"

Tanya tossed her a red candy, and Hannah stuck it into her mouth. "It's late in the evening," she crooned, swaying back and forth.

"She's wondering what clothes to wear.

She puts on her makeup

And brushes her long blonde hair.

And then she asks me 'Do I look all right?'

And I say, 'Yes, you look wonderful tonight.'

We go to a party

And everyone turns to see

This beautiful lady that's walking around with me.

And then she asks me 'Do you feel all right?'

And I say 'Yes, I feel wonderful tonight.'

I feel wonderful

Because I see the love light in your eyes

And the wonder of it all

Is that you just don't realize

How much I love you.

It's time to go home now

And I've got an aching head

So I give her the car keys

She helps me to bed

And then I tell her

As I turn out the light

I say 'My darling, you were wonderful tonight.

Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight.'"

Muffled pounding on the wall spoiled Hannah's grand curtsy. "Will you all shut the bloody hell up?" Seamus roared from the next room. "We mortals are trying to get some sleep!"

Haley rolled her eyes and chose a shiny purple candy, hopping to her feet as soft guitar and string music filled the room. She opened her mouth, and the smooth, sultry voice of Anne Murray came out.

"I'm strong, I'm sure, I'm in control, a lady with a plan

Believing that life is a neat little package I hold in my hand.

I've got it together, they call me the girl 'who knows just what to say and do.'

But I stumble and fall, run into a wall, 'cause when it comes to you, I'm

Just another woman in love, a kid out of school,

A fire out of control, just another fool.

You touch me and I'm weak, I'm a feather in the wind,

And I can't wait to feel you touchin' me again.

With you I'm just another woman, just another woman in love.

So pardon me if I should stare and tremble like a child.

That "wanting you" look all over your face is driving me wild.

I'm just what you make me, can't wait till you take me

And set all my feelin's free

I know that you can

So come be my man,

Tonight I wanna be

Just another woman in love, a kid out of school

A fire out of control, just another fool.

Touch me and I'm weak, I'm a feather in the wind,

And I can't wait to feel you touchin' me again

With you I'm just another woman, just another woman in love."

"I know who she was thinking of," Rachel said mischievously as Haley sighed happily and sat down.

"Your turn," Hannah replied, handing her the box.

Rachel picked out a pink candy and began sucking on it, then leapt up happily and began playing air guitar as driving electric filled the room. Soon, the familiar Shrek music got all the girls bouncing up and down.

"Well, I thought love was only true in fairy tales,

Meant for someone else, but not for me.

Love was out to get me

That's the way it seemed

Disappointment haunted all my dreams.

And then I saw her face!

Now I'm a believer

Not a trace

Of doubt in my mind:

I'm in love! Ooo…

I'm a believer!

I couldn't leave her if I tried.

Well, I thought love was more or less all empathy.

The more I gave, the less I got, oh, yeah.

What's the use of tryin'? All you get is pain.

When I wanted sunshine I got rain…

And then I saw her face!

Now I'm a believer.

Not a trace

Of doubt in my mind:

I'm in love! Ooo…

I'm a believer!

I couldn't leave her if I tried.

What's the use of tryin'? All you get is pain.

When I wanted sunshine I got rain!

And then I saw her face!

Now I'm a believer

Not a trace

Of doubt in my mind:

I'm in love! Ooo…

I'm a believer!

I couldn't leave her if I tried.

And then I saw her fay-ace!

Now I'm a believer

Not a tra-ay-ay-ace

Of doubt in my mind:

Now I'm a believer,

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-ah-ah-ah!

Now I'm a believer!

Then I saw her face…"

Rachel trailed off as she realized that her audience had stopped dancing. "Don't tell me," she said wearily. "Seamus and Dean have come to enforce their complaint in person and caught me singing the most embarrassing song ever."

"You're psychic," Katelyn said dryly.

Rachel whirled about, her face turning red as a beet. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough," Seamus said with a grin. "Can I see that box, Tanya?"

Tanya handed it to him, and he pulled a green one out. Before the girls could stop him, the first strains of Billy Joel's "The Longest Time" filled the room.

"Whoa, oh-oh-oh, for the longest time.

Whoa, oh-oh, for the longest—

If you said goodbye to me tonight,

There would still be music left to write.

What else could I do?

I'm so inspired by you.

That hasn't happened for the longest time.

Once I thought my innocence was gone.

Now I know that happiness goes on.

That's where you found me

When you put your arms around me.

I haven't been there for the longest time.

Whoa, oh-oh-oh, for the longest time.

Whoa, oh-oh, for the longest—

I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall.

And the greatest miracle of all,

Is how I need you,

And how you needed me, too.

That hasn't happened for the longest time.

Maybe this won't last very long

But you feel so right—I could be wrong

Maybe I've been hopin' too hard

But I've gone this far

And it's more than I hoped for.

Who knows how much further we'll go on?

Baby, I'll be sorry when you're gone

I'll take my chances

I forgot how nice romance is

I haven't been there for the longest time.

I had said good thoughts at the start

I said to myself, 'Hold on to your heart.'"

Now I know the woman that you are.

You're wonderful so far,

And it's more than I hoped for.

I don't care what consequence it brings

I have been a fool for lesser things

I want you so bad

I think you ought to know that

I intend to hold you for the longest time!

Whoa, oh-oh, for the longest time.

Whoa, oh-oh, for the longest time…

Whoa, oh-oh, for the longest time.

Whoa, oh-oh, for the longest time…"

(A/N: "Oedipus Rex" belongs to the brilliant Tom Lehrer. "Yellow Submarine" belongs to the Fab Four, the Beatles. "Wonderful Tonight" belongs to Eric Clapton. "Just Another Woman in Love" belongs to the ultra-feminine Anne Murray. "I'm a Believer" belongs to the rockin' band Smash Mouth. And last but not least, "The Longest Time" belongs to the super-romantic Billy Joel. Look them up and listen to the real things, I insist!)