Chapter 4

Being in a commercial partnership with Dan Hartfield was really the last thing Jack expected to happen in his life but somehow it all ended up right there.
Another three weeks passed by in which change met unchangeability.
Dan Hartfield started his work at Fairfield as Jack's partner. Since Jack had by far less experiences in what needed to be done, Dan was in charge of most of the things. So far everything worked out surprisingly fine and although he relentlessly dismissed a few of Lisa's employees, Fairfield slowly but steadily rose from its downfall.
Of course, Lisa would have never approved this move but as everyone knew Dan and Lisa didn't walk on common ground very often. He wasn't the most sentimental man on this planet. Yet, Jack knew that Dan had done the right thing to close those positions that weren't desperately needed. If it wasn't for Dan Hartfield, they probably would have shut down Fairfield for good which also meant letting go the whole staff. This way it affected only a few of them. However, to stay loyal to his wife, Jack bought bouquets of flowers, drove to their homes and thanked those people for their hard work over all these years. Most of them understood the complicated situation but Jack felt sorry and hoped he had done the right thing to authorize Lisa's ex-husband and former businesses partner.
Although Lou was back in New York and took Katie with her, Amy was still working with a few of Lisa's horses. She wasn't spending that much time there anymore, but kept an eye on Dan whenever he was around. He took his job serious and put a lot of effort into it which was not only a surprise for the Fairfield staff but also for the Heartland family. Even though Jack worried that Dan got too involved, he was glad that the plan seemed to work out. For now. Maybe Fairfield could be saved and was still there when Lisa came back.
Whereas Fairfield underwent a lot of change currently, the situation in the hospital remained unchanged. Mostly unchanged.
Lisa was still in coma. All in all it had been six weeks by now which was an awfully long time. The doctors were a bit anxious since her brain did show some activity every now and then but she hadn't managed to wake up yet. They said Lisa could come out of the coma every day but they had been telling him that for a week now and nothing changed so far. Well, at least they switched the cervical collar with a soft collar around her neck, the wound on her forehead was almost gone and the injury on her spine was healing well. There might even be a good chance for her to wake up with a feeling in her legs. Nobody could surmise what a great relief it was to hear that. However, it only last for just a split of a second since nothing really changed so far. The anxiety was still there.
Right now Jack sat next to his wife's hospital bed once more. In the last six weeks there was not one single day he hadn't been there. Sometimes he would even spend the night or the whole day but it was always the same. Lisa lay unresponsively and motionless in front of him. Her eyes closed, the air mask around her mouth and nose to support her breathing. The rhythmic beeping sound of the machine disappeared into the background weeks ago already. Jack didn't even hear it anymore. It always was awkwardly quiet in the room and after all this time the silence was still strange to him. He wanted to say something, tell her what was going on in the life she missed out currently. He wanted to say how much everyone missed her and how much he missed her. How much he needed her back. But Jack couldn't get himself to talk. As awkward as the silence was, so was talking into it. Knowing that he wouldn't get a response was terrifying. So, Jack chose to stay quiet most of the time but the urge to talk pushed itself more and more up his throat.
Talking had never been a problem in their relationship. Even though it meant to push the other to open up. At the end they would always talk about problems and struggles and they would always find a solution.
In those last six weeks Jack didn't only miss having her around but most of all he missed their talks. Especially during this hard time. Amy and Lou tried to cheer him up and to be there for him but it just wasn't the same. Family and work kept them busy. Lou was gone, Amy had her hands full with Lyndy and the horses, Ty was in the clinic most of the time, Georgie busy with her training. Tim was the only one to spend a lot of time at Heartland. It was just - Jack could do better without him. Tim wasn't helpful. His current health state provided him with sleepless nights and often he came over to whine and complain. Jack understood his situation and of course he was worried but there were other things right now he had to deal with. It would be nice to get rid of some of the pain that covered his heart. Talking usually helped.
Maybe... if he just tried to find a start.
Jack glanced over his shoulder to check on the door but he was still alone in the room. Alone with his unconscious wife. His eyes moved back to her.
"So.", he arduously started with a hoarse voice and cleared his throat.
It took him a moment to go on as it was the first time in six weeks he was talking to her again..
He swallowed.
"So...how are you doing, Lis?"A whisper almost as quiet as the silence itself.
Nothing.
Of course, there was no reaction and this asking her that hurt as much as seeing Lisa laying motionless in this hospital bed.
Jack shook his head. What a stupid question.
His hand gently squeezed hers, begging her to forgive him for the clumsy start.
"Well, I hope you could tell me because...because I am dying to know."
Jack paused again to give her a chance to answer but Lisa remained silent.
Maybe he should stop the questioning and just tell her something.
His eyes dropped onto their melted hands. Hers so pale against his.
"You are probably asking yourself how everybody is doing. We are alright, Lis. Katie misses you. She keeps asking when you are going to take her to that toy store again." A crooked smile displayed on his lips. Would she ever be able to go anywhere again?
"Don't worry. This has time. Lou took her to New York. She was all excited about the big city, but to be honest...it would have been nice if she'd stayed at Heartland. Where her family and her home is..."
Now he looked up again, meeting her still closed eyes.
"It would be nice if you were there, too.-
The bed is too empty without you, Lis." His heart was heavy now as the topic of his monologue suddenly changed. The familiar feeling of her body pressed against him was missing which left him cold and lonely not during the day but also during the nights.
"Between you and me...I don't really like that hospital. There are by far better places to spend time together.
-In fact, we haven't found much time to drive up to the cabin this year. How about we go up there for a few days? Just you and me. What do you think?"
He looked at her expecting but all he got back was more silence. There wasn't the slightest movement and like Jack feared it devastated him even more. Sometimes he was afraid he would forget what her voice sounded like. What it felt like when she spoke to him.
Her constant silence broke his heart.
"Lisa, I am so sorry.", Tears filled his eyes now.
"I promised you that everything would be fine...I was so sure about it...that you would make it. That Chandelier Glow would win and ... but I was wrong. So wrong..." With force Jack pulled himself together, forbidding the tears to fall.
It all happened so fast. He should have been there to save her but he couldn't even manage that. He was too late and she was run down before his eyes.
"I don't know if you can ever forgive me."
His voice faded to all the emotions that were boiling up inside of him.
It was the first time in weeks that Jack noticed the steady beeping of the machines again.
- Because it was the only noise that broke the unbearable silence.

(For all of you that read my story "A place to be" - hope you got the little hint about the cabin ;) )