Will stepped out of the lift and wandered up the ward until he reached Emma's solitary little room at the end. Apprehensively he pushed all his weight against the heavy door and stepped inside.
Emma was sitting up in bed, looking a lot better and flicking through a trashy magazine. She heard the door open and instantly her eyes flicked up but to his dismay they flicked back down again almost immediately. Taking up a seat by her bed, he prepared himself for a visit much like the one he'd had previously that day.
For a few minutes she let them sit in silence. Then slowly, carefully, she reached out her hand for his and she looked up at him. "I'm sorry for this morning…I'm sorry for the way I've been acting recently…I'm sorry for everything." She said hollowly before returning her vision to the floor.
Will leant towards her. "Sweetheart, you have nothing to apologise for. You were upset this morning, I don't blame you and as for how you've been acting recently I mean everyone goes through bad spells, I just wish you could have talked to me about it rather than let it get this bad. Everything…that's a lot to be sorry for. I mean you're sorry for my older brother beating me up when we were kids, for my cat dying the day before my maths exam, for the fact that Inspector Gold gave me a bollocking because I showed up hung over for work last week?" Will replied softly.
Emma giggled and turned willingly back to face him. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you after we got together. I should have realised that it was you that I should have been with. I know I can't turn back the clock but I'm sorry for being a jerk." Emma said, still clutching tightly onto his hand as if scared he would slip away if she let go.
"Chill toots it's all in the past…but well if you want you can explain to me what happened yesterday…if you don't want to then seriously you don't have to. I just want to try and help you." Will whispered, leaning closer to her.
"Oh yeah um I got in trouble at work again and…and well Gina upset me. She sent me home and I just felt like I was drowning almost. Everything was weighing me down…Honey's death, Matt's abuse…Billy dying I had to get away from it all. So I drank myself sick and then when I was being sick I coughed up blood so I phoned the ambulance. I think that was when my kidney failed…I got a sharp pain in my stomach and then I passed out. The next thing I know…I well I woke up here didn't I!" Emma said resting her head back on the pillows behind her.
When she tilted her head to the side she saw a fear tears escaping Will's eyes. Reaching out she brushed them away with her thumb and then stroked the side of his cheek softly. "Sorry for making you cry." She murmured; mesmerised by the compassion and care that he was showing her.
"No it's okay…but…but why did you use alcohol to escape?" Will asked the question that had been burning inside him. Everything else made sense but that.
"I err…I don't actually know." Emma admitted truthfully. "I just wanted to pass out, to forget everything and well the vodka was there." She added bashfully.
"Okay sweetie, you don't have to explain yourself to me. Just promise me you'll try and talk to me about stuff instead of getting it all caught up inside you." Will said softly, linking his fingers through hers.
"I promise." Emma whispered back, patting the bed beside her. Will smiled and eased himself onto the bed next to her, resting his head on the pillow beside hers. The both lay facing each other, content just to watch, no words necessary.
Just as Emma's eyes began to close a disapproving nurse entered the room and informed Will that it was now three hours past visiting time and he really must leave. He got up off the bed and grabbed his coat from the hard plastic chair which he'd escaped sitting in. Then turning back, still under the nurse's watchful eye he leant over Emma and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I'll come back and pick you up tomorrow when you can be discharged." He said quietly before kissing her cheek again and then backing out of the room with a little smile on his lips.
"Gina?" Will asked down the phone as he stood shivering in the hospital car park. "Yeah it's Will I was wondering if I could get tomorrow off…call it compassionate leave I'm picking Emz up from the hospital and taking her back to mine so she doesn't have to be by herself." He continued when he heard his superior's voice answer back.
"You're a right softie at heart aren't you?" She asked and Will could tell she was smiling even though he couldn't see her.
"Err whatever…but can I?" He grumbled, not particularly enjoying being called a softie.
"Yeah sure…tell you what you can have tomorrow and then the weekend off because you're supposed to be working then aren't you…yeah well take those three days and make sure you treat her well. Call me if she causes you any problems and I'll sort her out." Gina said jokingly. "Yeah…yeah I'm sure she'll be just fine. Good luck Will, give Emma my best." Gina added hearing Will's protests at the previous statement.
Will closed his phone and sat in the car for a while before driving off and shortly after he arrived home and began to tidy things up, ready for Emma coming the next day. For the first time in months he hovered and dusted and then washed up the mounting pile of plates and cups by the sink before going upstairs to bed, thoroughly exhausted.
The next morning he cleaned the rest of the house and made his bed before picking up his keys and phone from the coffee table and driving across to St Hugh's. Arriving there he greeted Sophie, Emma's doctor like an old friend and then made his way along to her room.
Stepping inside he turned around then quickly averted his eyes as Emma was standing by her bed in just her underwear with a t-shirt half pulled over her head. "Oh…hi Will." She said smiling at him as her head resurfaced from the t-shirt. "I'll be done in a minute." She added seeing him blush crimson. Then she turned back to the bed and pulled her jeans on, making sure that the waistband didn't catch on her bandage. Will smirked as she sat on the bed trying to get her foot up to tie her laces, eventually she looked up pleadingly and gestured to her shoes. "I can't tie them!" She said grumpily. "My tummy hurts when I pull my leg up!"
Will moved forwards and crouched down in front of her, beginning to tie her shoelaces. When he was finished he stood up still in front of her and drank in every detail of her appearance. If it was possible she looked more beautiful than ever. Although dressed casually she was stunning. Her bright white long sleeved t-shirt highlighted her features and the blue stones in her bracelet accentuated her dark eyes. Sliding down off the bed she smiled up at him and the golden streaks in her hair were reflected around the room in little glints of light.
"I've got to go and sign those stupid discharge forms now." Emma said, breaking the silence that had descended upon them. After signing 'those stupid discharge forms' Emma followed Will from the ward and walked quickly to catch up with him, slipping her hand into his as they reached the stairs. He smiled across at her and squeezed her hand gently in his. They wandered down to the car and Will opened the door for her. Sitting inside she struggled with the belt so he leant across and drew it gently across her tummy, taking great care to avoid the bandage.
Emma smiled; he really did care about her.
Twenty minutes later they were sitting out on his patio in the back garden talking without any of the awkwardness that being in the hospital brought. There was no inclination that she'd been in a state of semi-depression just a few days previously or that she'd spent the last day and a bit recovering from major surgery. Although she occasionally winced as she laughed when the bandages moved but every time it only made her giggle harder as the worried look that Will gave her was so comical. It was as though he wanted to wrap her up in cotton wool for the rest of her life. The second time she made to get up to go and refill her glass of water and Will stopped her she wrapped an arm around his leg and forced him back into a sitting position.
"Listen Will I'm really grateful for you having me here and there is no place I'd rather be and nobody I'd rather be with but you have to let me do some things for myself. I'm a big girl Will, I can look after myself…most of the time." She said, tagging on the 'most of the time' adding the bit of truth which proved to Will that although she did need him she didn't need him to do everything for her.
"Yeah I'm sorry I just got caught up in taking care of you. I just want to do it right I really want you to get better and…and yeah I'm sorry." Will mumbled sadly, afraid that he'd pushed Emma too far.
"Hey don't beat yourself up about it, I didn't mean to be that harsh…I just want to get my own glass of water silly!" She replied leaning in and giving him a quick one armed hug. "Come on why don't we go and do something…how about we go for a walk?" She asked him, already getting to her feet.
"Sure sweetie whatever you want." Will replied taking her hand and leading her out of the gate and down the path which ran along the side of the house. "West Canley?" He asked as they headed off down the road. "It's closest." He added as she looked at him thoughtfully.
As they wandered through the park they became chattier and it was almost like old times, before they had kissed, before Matt had elbowed his way back in and before all of the bad feelings. They stopped on the bridge over the stream and Emma leant on Will, yawning slightly. "You tired honey?" He asked caringly as she turned into him and nodded slightly. "Let's get you home then." He mumbled, tucking her under his arm and guiding her out of the park.
When they reached his house again he let her in and sat her down on the sofa, chucking her a blanket and the TV remotes. "I'll go make lunch." He said walking through into the kitchen. He came back ten minutes later with two bowls of soup and a glass of juice each. After lunch Will made to get up and mentioned that he was going to make up the spare room for her. Emma however got to her feet as well and no matter how hard Will protested she followed him upstairs and helped him dig the spare bedclothes out of the airing cupboard.
When the bed was made Emma flopped down onto it, pulling Will along with her and they lay looking up at the ceiling smirking at each other every so often. Emma quickly fell asleep and Will rolled in watching her shoulders rising and falling gently with each breath. He reached out a hand and stroked the side of her face and in her sleep she wriggled closer to him and mumbled to herself. Brushing her hair out of her eyes she woke up and looked around in confusion. "Um…what happened…why did we end up here?" She asked, her eyes flashing with worry.
"Don't worry nothing happened, we were making the bed and then you fell asleep. I stroked your hair out of your eyes and you moved closer to me and woke up. You know you talk in your sleep don't you?" Will replied laughing.
"Oh um yeah Matt used to say I did. I didn't say anything stupid did I?" She asked casually.
"Yeah well that's for me to know and you to try and find out!" Will replied annoyingly, moving out of her reach so she couldn't hit him and promptly falling off the bed.
"Serves you right." Emma giggled, looking over the edge of the bed at him.
"Oi! That does it." Will said pouting before he got to his feet and picked Emma up, tossing her over his shoulder and beginning to walk downstairs.
"Put me down! Put me down! Put me downnnnnnn!" Emma shrieked laughing as she knew that he would do the very opposite. "Fine if your not gonna put me down then can you take me out to the car…I want to go home and get some stuff if you're insisting I stay here."
"Fine…but I'm not putting you down!" Will replied stubbornly as he walked out of the house with Emma still over one shoulder and he locked up behind himself. When he reached the car he had to break his perseverance and let her slide off to the side and get into the car. Emma smiled as Will drove quickly to her house; it wasn't like he needed to ask for directions!
She stepped over the doormat and looked around nervously. The last time she'd been here did really hold the best memories; in fact this house was built on bad memories. Emma smiled weakly up at Will and gestured towards the stairs before she ascended them slowly, trying to put off the moment she'd have to step inside her and Matt's old bedroom again. Pressing her eyes tightly together she walked in and then opened up. Everything was how she'd left it a few weeks ago when she'd attempted to get to sleep in there for the first time since Matt had been jailed. She'd tossed and turned and ended up crying herself to almost sleep before dragging herself through to the spare room and staying there permanently.
Walking over to the wardrobe she slid open the doors and sighed as she had to push aside all of Matt's clothes to reach her own. After drawing out her favourite outfits she stuffed them into her bag and then chose a few pair of shoes and other accessories and toiletries. Eventually she placed the bag at the end of the bed and stripped off because the clothes that Will had brought her were getting a little old now. Again standing in front of the wardrobe she pursed her lips and attempted to choose something nice.
Will meanwhile had been emptying the house of all the used bottles of alcohol. When he was finished, he washed up the dishes and straightened up the shoes by the door. Then making his way upstairs he stopped outside Emma's room.
Knocking quietly on the door he heard her yell, "Come in!" and he stepped over the threshold. She was still standing with her back to him, just in her underwear for the second time that day.
"Oh sorry I didn't realise you were getting changed I mean I'll go if you want me to." Will said in a jumbled up kind of way, almost tripping over his words.
"Chill out Will! Why are you so nervous to see my in my underwear? I mean considering how you've seen me before I'm pretty covered up!" Emma joked, turning to face him and seeing him blush again.
"I um…I don't know…I'm not with you any more…it's not right for me to see you like that if we're friends is it?" Will mumbled shyly.
"Well I'm fine with it so I don't see why you're not." Emma said softly, upset that he considered what was happening between them to not be 'right'.
"Emma I didn't mean anything by it…I just…I always mess things up don't listen to me." Will said despairingly and he slid down the wall resting his head in his hands.
Emma quickly pulled out another pair of jeans and a long grey sweater which she put on, tying the ribbon on the waistband of the jumper as she approached Will once more. Kneeling down next to him she lifted his head. "I'm decent now." She whispered before getting to her feet again and walking out of the door, only stopping to pick up the large flowery print bag which contained her clothes and shoes etc.
Will ran a hand through his hair and followed her back out the house. Why did everything he say turn into an insult or something that would hurt her? She seemed to have forgiven him however when they were watching Wire In The Blood and she curled up next to him during the gory bits! "The creepy stuff's over now Em." Will murmured and she peeked out from behind his shoulder. They sat in the same position for the next twenty minutes until a man held one of the detectives hostage with a knife to his throat. Emma gulped and turned away from Will, a few tears running down her cheeks.
"Sweetheart…Emma…what's wrong?" He asked in concern, quickly turning off the telly.
"I…It's nothing…I'm being silly it's just…that's how Billy died." Emma whimpered.
Will bit down on his lips, unsure of how to play it so he asked her. "What can I do?" He said apologetically.
"Cuddle?" Emma asked and he held out his arms for her.
"You don't have to ask darlin'." Will said softly as she rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arms tightly around him.
For Emily because a) she's persistent and b) she cares :D thanks for the concern even though I'm convinced there's nothing wrong. To everybody else who didn't understand the last bit READ AND REVIEW xxxxpip