Hey guys! First of all I am SOOOO sorry about the long wait between chapters. I won't waste any of our time with an explanation, but know that I truly am sorry! I know how much it sucks waiting for updates!
Side note- I want everyone to know that I debated long and hard about the POV's in this story. Some people WANTED Arnold's POV, and some thought it'd be best without it. As of right now it's going to remain in Helga's POV, mainly because the first three chapters are all her. It'll leave a little mystery on Arnold's end! Haha..
Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold!
*Flashback*
Helga's POV:
"Hey, barista boy!" I slapped my hand against the marbled counter several times. "Get the tranquilizer darts out of your ass and chop chop! I have a class in 20 minutes!" I glanced down at my watch "make that 19! UGH!"
"You know…" he took his eyes off the espresso machine to glare at me. "Yelling like a loon isn't going to make it brew any faster. And for the last time, I'd appreciate it if you'd call me SID. We did sort of grow up together! Boy howdy.."
"Well, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop moving like a slug and get your ass in gear!" I spat.
"Helga.. Do me a favor? Shut. The. Hell. Up." he poured my espresso into an insulated coffee cup and slid it angrily across the countertop. "Your attitude for the past 19 years is obviously getting you nowhere. It's no wonder your only friends have testicles. No girl would put up with you-"
My hand darted across the counter and grabbed him by his apron "Listen here bucko!" I pulled him closer "I suggest you shut up before I rip that stupid penis-shaped nose off your smug face."
"I'd like to see you try." his eyes narrowed. Seconds later my free hand reached up and tugged roughly on his elongated nose before shoving him back across the counter. He cupped his nose in his hand and let out a groan of pain and irritation. "You are such a bit-"
"Save the potty mouth for someone who gives a damn barista boy." I tossed my money on the counter and made my way to the door. Just as I reached for the front door someone opened it from the other side, hitting me with it as it swung open. My first instinct was to yell at the clod who opened the door in the first place, but I found myself distracted by a searing pain in my forearms and midsection. My espresso that I waited so impatiently for was currently running down my arms and stomach, leaving a steaming path in it's wake. All eyes fell on me as I let out a loud howl, dropping all my stuff on the floor.
"Oh my God!" The person who opened the door came up to me in a panic "I'm so sorry! I didn't see you. Oh my GOD! Are you alright! I'm so sorry! I'm so so so-"
"Shut. Up." I hissed between clenched teeth. "Just leave me alone."
"Please, let me help you out! I feel terrible. Can I at least walk to you the campus clinic?" When I felt a hand land on my shoulder we finally made eye contact. The idiot at large just so happened to be a very attractive blue eyed brunette guy that looked like something out of a magazine. I felt my mouth instantly go dry.
"I'll be fine." I managed to choke out.
"No, I insist! I feel like such a jerk. Please?" he knelt down and picked up my book bag. "…. Please?"
"Fine.." I sighed in defeat.
So there I was walking with a handsome stranger who had no idea who I was, and vice versa. Since I had started college I hadn't really met anyone but the frat brothers. I found myself at a loss for words. I was never really a social butterfly and my lack of skills was finally catching up with me.
"I'm really, REALLY sorry about all this." he awkwardly rubbed his arm, staring down at his feet as he walked next to me. "I feel terrible."
"I'm sure I'll be fine." I glanced at him from the corner of my eye "I can make it to the clinic from here if you have class or-"
"No, this was my fault! What kind of gentleman would I be if I left?"
"Dude… there is no such thing as a gentleman… not in college anyway." I chuckled reaching out and grabbing his arm, halting him. "I appreciate your concern. But I'll be fine.."
"What's your name?"
"Helga." I tried my hardest not to blush "What about you?"
"Jason" he grabbed my hand and shook it softly, remembering my partially burned forearms. "I would say 'pleasure to meet you', but I doubt my sentiment would be returned."
"Well Jason… I wouldn't go that far.." I batted my eyelashes and kicked a pebble sitting at my feet. It suddenly dawned on me…. I was flirting with him…. ME? Flirting? That was unheard of!
"Is there any way I can make up for my stupidity? I did sorta indirectly scorch you with hot liquid."
"I…. I don't know-"
"A buddy of mine from my political science class is having a party at his house this weekend. If you're feeling up to it-" he motioned to my burned arms "maybe you could come?"
"Me? You… want to go with me?" I stuttered, uncomprehending. In all technicality I had never been 'asked out' before. I was so used to being treated like a boy that I had forgotten what it was like to be looked at as a girl.
"If you don't want to it's fine-"
"No!" I held my hands up, quickly lowering them before I came off as desperate. "I…. I'd love to go."
"Here.." he reached inside his bag and pulled out a pen. "You can call me… let me know where I can pick you up." he cupped my hand in his and began writing down his number.
I glanced at the number on my palm and couldn't stop myself from smiling. "Cool."
"I'll see you around Helga." he waved softly as he walked by.
This whole encounter was so surreal. Boy's never spoke to me the way Jason did… ever. It felt almost too good to be real. "Bye.." I whispered much too late to his fleeting figure.
I had never felt more nervous in my life walking into that party with Jason. My college experience thus far had included frat party after frat party. The same group of dunderheads with the same stupid drinking games. I never had to present myself as anything and there were no presumptions. But tonight everyone didn't know me, it was my one chance to kick back and not hide behind my façade. I didn't know Jason… but I knew I didn't want to be written off and put into his 'just friends' category. Arnold was happily dating Trixie, so there was no reason why I couldn't venture out into the dating world too.
"Do you want something to drink?" Jason shouted over the loud bass of the music. The only thing I could do was nod dumbly in response. My synapses were currently on overload. I didn't know what to say or do, or how to act. It was the first time in nearly two years I wasn't expected to act like I had a penis. I didn't know if Jason was expecting me to act like some innocent daffodil…. or if he had any expectations at all.
I should have stayed home..
A random drunk boy suddenly came up to me and slung his arm around my shoulders. "Heyyy there pretty lady!" he slurred.
"What gives bucko?" I shook him off of me. "Keep your mitts off!"
"Feisty I see? Daddy likes.." he wiggled his eyebrows. "Wanna dance?"
"You're barking up the wrong tree ya nimrod!" I shoved him further away from me. "Besides, you're about as graceful as an elephant."
Another hand grabbed my shoulder causing me to spin around with my fists raised. "I come in peace!" Jason chuckled and jumped back slightly. "I see you've met Vincent."
"Vincent needs to keep his hands to himself." I shuddered, grabbing one of the cups from him. "What is this?" I looked suspiciously inside of the red plastic cup.
"Beer!" he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, giving me a squeeze. The fact that he wanted to touch me at all was still mesmerizing to me. "Anyway, it was either that or body shots."
"HA! Sorry to say, but I'm not drunk enough for body shots!" I finally took a swig from the cup. "You know Jason.." I glanced suspiciously inside the cup again "if I start getting dizzy after one drink I'll know who to murder." I stepped away from his touch and gave him a coy smile.
"Well… luckily for you I'm not like that." he grabbed my drink and took a sip of it for emphasis. "See? Roofie free!"
"Okay okay.. I'll buy it." we stood there awkwardly for several moments. "So what now?" I ran my fingers through my hair, silently wondering if he liked my hair down.
Stupid girly thoughts…
"I think they're playing beer pong in the next room…" my face instantly lit up at the mention of my favorite party game, which he seemed to picked up on "we could go watch if you want?"
"Watch?" I scoffed "Dude, I play beer pong… and I win."
"Oh really?" his eyebrow raised slightly. "Show me."
I don't know how long we were playing, let alone how many beers we had ended up consuming. But I knew I was borderline wasted. Things were becoming slightly blurred and everyone started having a twin. "You are so freaking good at this Helga!" Jason came up behind me as I scored again, wrapping his arm around me.
Memories from my first frat party flashed in my mind. Was beer pong something only boys were supposed to be good at? Crimeny "Yeah… I guess I'm alright." I subtly leaned into his embrace, wondering what I could do to keep him interested. "Hey Jason?" I turned my head towards his ear "It's getting kinda loud out here. Do you wanna maybe go somewhere a little more…um… private?"
For the first time since we met Jason looked genuinely shy. "Uh… sure Helga."
My heart was pounding the whole time we were walking upstairs. I didn't know what the hell we were going to do when we got there… but I had to think of it fast because the next thing I knew we were inside the spare bedroom. I plopped down on the queen size bed and ran my hand over it. "Nice bedspread. Um…High thread count…"
Stupid stupid stupid…
"We don't have to be up here if it makes you uncomfortable Helga." he joined me on the bed. "I figured this room would be the quietest place if you wanted to talk."
A small sigh of relief escaped my mouth before I could stop myself. "Is it weird that I'm kind of relieved you weren't intending on jumping me at the first chance?"
"Hey, some girls are into that 'take me against the wall' thing. It's college!" he chuckled.
"Oh really?" I leaned back on my elbows in a vain attempt to keep the world from spinning so much. "how many offers do youuuu usually get?" my voice slurred slightly.
"Well.." he held up his hand, counting under his breath "ahh.. None?"
"Really?" I bit my tongue to contain my laughter. "A looker like you shouldn't have trouble with girls."
My choice of words seemed to intrigue him "A looker, huh?"
Damn alcohol..
"Yeah…. You're kind of a looker." I rolled over on my side as he laid down next to me, mimicking my position "Listen Jason, in case you haven't noticed I'm really terrible with boys I find attractive. I usually amp up my masculinity until they're comfortable around me. But by then I end up putting myself in 'just friends' territory… a-and…." I stopped myself before I could say anything else. I was so tired of always using head games when they clearly didn't work. I didn't want to talk myself into a nunnery, so I did the one and only thing I knew would get my point across… I leaned in and kissed him.
He pulled away after a few seconds "Helga.."
"Ugh.. I'm sorry!" I sat up. "I shouldn't have done that. I knew it was a bad idea."
"Hold on!" he grabbed my arm before I could stand up. "You didn't let me finish." When he was sure I wasn't going to run he let go of my arm. "College is a crazy time in our lives… it's when we start discovering ourselves."
"Will you be arriving at a point anytime soon?" I huffed, feeling much too rejected for my liking.
"Honestly Helga… a relationship right now wouldn't be good for either of us." he reached out for my hand "I think you're a really cool girl… one I could have a fun time hanging out with. I just don't want to end up hurting you if there's strings attached. Things can get so messy so fast.."
"So you want to be around me… but you just don't…. want me?" I fell back angrily against the mattress and covered my eyes "It's official… I'm going to die a virgin. I'm going to end up finding a drunk grimy guy appropriately named Big Tommy on the corner of fourth and Vine street and seduce him into sleeping with me in a night that will inevitably end with awkward fumbling and a MAJOR headache, and in the morning he wont remember anything but an able bodied tomboy giving him a piece of ass that he can brag about to his fellow dick-brained douche bag friends! It's a win-win, right?" I groaned dramatically.
Once again, damn you alcohol.
After my tirade Jason simply stared at me in amusement mixed with shock. "You have quite the imagination, don't you?" he placed a hand over mine. "Look, think of it this way…. Do you really want to be tied down to me? Spending all our free time together and all that jazz? Wouldn't you miss your friends?"
I removed my hands from my eyes "My… friends?..." my so-called 'friends' were a bunch of frat boys who wouldn't give me a second look even if they were paid… and my other 'friend' was my childhood crush that never really went away, and it was one that I couldn't give up yet, not to mention having a boyfriend of my own would definitely eat away at my extra time. "I see your point…. So where does that leave us?"
"We're…. friends." he concluded.
"…Sounds good."
He leaned over me slightly and nodded "Good." I'm not really sure what happened in those few seconds we were looking at each other, but the next moment Jason's mouth was connected to mine in a passionate frenzy.
"What happened to just friends?" I panted in between kisses.
He pulled away slightly and hovered above me "All good friends could use some benefits, right?"
"Friends with benefits." I repeated to make sure I heard him correctly.
"Yeah… I mean, I know it's kind of unorthodox. And let me make it clear that I don't typically do this type of thing. Logically I think we'd be better friends with benefits than just friends... Or even lovers. We both have something the other wants…" his hand trailed down my stomach and stopped at the top of my jeans. "If we both agree to do this… I want to know that we'll still be friends in the morning."
Out of all the possibilities for the evening, I never imagined I would be upstairs with a boy let alone 'in the moment'. He had left the ball in my court now… was this the kind of friendship I wanted to have with someone? After two years of the 'friend zone', it looked like Arnold was never going to come around and fall madly in love with me. What else did I have in my life? This would be the perfect distraction… without the commitment of an actual relationship to keep me from seeing Arnold.
"Jason…" I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the enormity of the events that would follow. "Friends with benefits is fine with me."
The next morning I woke up before Jason, leaving me time to dwell on the previous nights events. It was the most odd feeling in the world waking up next to someone I had just spent the night with. He looked so amazingly peaceful in his sleep. A part of me wished we didn't have to be friends with benefits because in some twisted sort of way… I kinda liked him... but the other part understood where he was coming from and why we'd never work out. We didn't want to hurt each other… and I didn't want to give up on Arnold even though I'd never ever EVER admit it out loud.
I felt around blindly for my pants in hopes of finding my cell phone. I had two missed calls and three texts. Two texts and a call from Phoebe, a text from my lab partner… and a missed call from Arnold.
'Hey Helga.. Sorry to be leaving a message so late. I stopped by your place tonight but you weren't home. UGH! I feel like a total mess right now…. Trixie and I broke up. Things just weren't working out. I was going to invite you over to the frat house for a little post-dumpage moping, but I guess you're off… doing whatever you do. Again, sorry for calling so late, Goodnight Helga..'
I tossed my phone back on the ground and stared blankly at the condom wrapper on the floor.
"… SON OF A BITCH!"
*Present Day*
23 days. It's been 23 days since the 'non-date' with Arnold. 23 days since the incident in the hall of my dorm… 23 days since we've spoken more than a few words to each other in passing or at the frat house's weekly poker game. Our avoidance shouldn't really come as a shock to me anymore… it's what we always do when things go awry. It's been the same formula since we were kids. When things get even slightly screwy with us it's always 'avoid and evade'. The very next day after the 'incident' we saw each other in our Spanish class. The moment we made eye contact with one another we averted gazes immediately. It was like we were both in the fourth grade all over again. Frankly I was getting tired of this stupid game, even though I practically invented it.
I had attempted waiting for Arnold that morning outside of our Spanish class, after twenty minutes I was starting to wonder if he was even going to show. Punctuality was usually another one of Arnold's nerdy qualities. I finally gave up and went inside, and to my surprise he was sitting in his usual chair with his laptop open. Odds were he saw me waiting for him and he used the other door.
That little ass..
Instead of acting hurt or irritated I decided to ignore him entirely and headed to my seat a few rows above his. Arnold was usually always the first one to approach me after one of our… awkward encounters. The fact that he was avoiding me so heavily was starting to worry me. What on earth did we do that was so terrible? Nothing even happened that night! Enough was enough. I was going to get the proverbial stick out of his ass once and for all. I grabbed a sheet of paper from my binder and scribbled down 'Lunch today?' and folded it into the shape of a football (I'm ironic, so what?) and flicked it at him. With perfect precision it hit him in his temple.
"Ouch!" he muttered, glaring over his shoulder at me.
Ladies and gentlemen we've made contact.
He opened the note and studied it a moment before getting a pen and scribbling down his response. With another quick glance over his shoulder he tossed the note directly on my desk, a ritual we had perfected over the past 4 months. I made sure nobody was paying attention before opening it. 'Alone?' was all it said.
"You little… puke!" I muttered under my breath, I'd give anything to be able to throw a sharp object at him in that moment. 'Well football head I was thinking about inviting the marching band for shits and giggles. YES alone, doi!' this time I flicked the note extra hard so it would really hurt. It whacked him directly in the neck, eliciting an embarrassing yelp out of him in the otherwise silent classroom. A few moments later the note came flying back on to my desk 'Meet me at the hotdog cart by the fountain at 12:45'
At exactly 12:45 I was sitting at the rim of the fountain, forced to smell the hotdogs just a few feet away. As my watch clicked to 12:46 I sighed in irritation "He better show up."
"I'm here! I'm here…" the football head in question came sprinting down the path carrying and ungodly amount of books in his arms. He plopped down next to me and let out a long and drawn out exhale "Hey Helga."
"What's good football head?" I casually glanced at all the books now resting at his side "Did you rob the book store or what?"
"Semester finals are coming up. I'm planning on studying for the weekend."
"You really are a nerd." I playfully ruffled his hair before pulling on his arm "C'mon! That hotdog cart has been calling my name!"
After we bought our lunch we took residence under one of the several big oak trees in the quad and silently ate. I finally had him here.. But I didn't know what exactly I was supposed to say. 'Hey, that non-date didn't really mean anything. So stop avoiding me!' or 'Sorry about fondling your chest that night…. I'm just a closeted pervert.'
"So…" Arnold crumpled up his hotdog wrapper and skillfully tossed it into the trashcan a few feet away. "Can we talk about… you know?"
"You mean that night." I took a long slurp of my soda.
"Mainly the way it ended." he clarified. "Something is different between us all of the sudden and I can't wrap my head around it. I've honestly been losing sleep over it!"
"Different?" I scoffed. "Were we ever really normal?
"Helga.."
"Okay… alright. I get it Arnold. We've developed some sort of freakish tension lately."
"Why is that? We've never had it before." He pulled his knee up to rest his head on it.
Maybe YOU never noticed it before…
"Dare I say it… but I think we're growing up football head." I patted his forearm "Things are bound to evolve eventually."
"What do you mean?" he scrunched his forehead into this adorable disbelieving 'V' shape.
For someone so smart, Arnold was about as perceptive as an ant. Was the concept of sexual tension that hard to grasp? "I don't know.." I muttered.
After a few moments of silence he cleared his throat "We are friends… right?"
"As much as it pains me to admit… yes." I smirked.
"I feel like we both worked hard to get to where we are… and I don't want to lose whatever friendship we've managed to create over the years. You drive me absolutely nuts… And for some reason I don't mind."
"Apparently I haven't annoyed you enough." I chuckled."But seriously… You're looking way too far into this Arnoldo. We've always had a weird way of expressing ourselves, haven't we? This time we both took it the wrong way and it got weird for a bit. We cleared it up, right?" I looked at him for confirmation to which he nodded "So what's the problem? Life goes on like usual."
"Like usual.." he repeated it slowly. "Yeah.. You're right Helga." he extended his hand "Friends?"
"Yeah yeah.." I shook his hand before releasing it roughly. "Now get your paws off me! I have class in fifteen." we both got up off the grass and stretched our legs before grabbing our stuff.
"Helga?" Arnold caught up to me a few feet down the path and began walking next to me, matching my stride.
"Yeah?"
"If you were still struggling in math I was wondering if you'd want some extra help before the final? Maybe a study session?"
"Like at the library or what?" I pulled the strap of my bag a little tighter on my shoulder, one of my many nervous habits.
"The library is going to be packed the weekend before finals. I was there yesterday and there was a line of people waiting to get in at 8 in the morning. I was thinking more along the lines of the frat house."
"You actually think we'd get any studying done with those chimpanzees around?" I scoffed. "We'd be better off studying at a monster truck rally."
"Well we could always study in your dorm?"
"What?" I stumbled on my own two feet, knocking my shoulder into Arnold's.
He steadied me until I was safely upright before letting go of my arm. "Since you don't have a roommate it'll be really quiet. I would suggest my dorm but there's always a party going on… not to mention Eugene's bihourly shenanigans."
Me? And Arnold?… alone in my DORM? The last boy I ever had in my dorm was Jason.. And we did anything but study. I wasn't exactly a hostess, my room was a mess and there wasn't a proper study space. Oh screw it.
"Sure Arnold…"
"How about tomorrow evening? Around 7-ish? And since I'm interrupting your solitude for the evening I'll compensate with a pizza. Sound cool?"
Sounds like the beginning of every one of my sex dreams.
"Yeah! Just don't be late football head." I hung my head down slightly so he couldn't see the blush forming on my cheeks.
"Great! See you tomorrow!" his arm wrapped around my shoulders for a quick side-hug before he took off to his next class.
I hadn't noticed I had stopped walking after he hugged me. I knew I most likely had a lovesick grin plastered on my face and the slightest hint of a blush creeping back up on my face.
Tomorrow was either going to be very interesting… or a living nightmare.
My dorm room was a disaster zone. All the math paperwork I needed mysteriously disappeared the exact moment I needed it. Arnold was supposed to be showing up any moment and I was ankle deep in clothes and old energy drink cans and I was psychotically digging around in search of those damn notes.
I tossed a handful of clothes on my bed in frustration and groaned. "Okay!" I gazed upward. "If there's anyone up there listening to me…. please help me find my stupid notes! UGH!" a soft knocking sound suddenly echoed through the room. "Why am I not surprised?" I muttered. "One second!" my room was completely trashed and I was beyond embarrassed that Arnold of all people was going to see it in this state. I cracked the door open slightly and poked my head through "Heyyy…."
As promised, Arnold showed up with a pizza box nestled against his side and his books stacked on top. "Hey." he smiled. "Ready to study?"
"About that.." my face reddened slightly "I don't think here would be best.."
"Why not? C'mon Helga I'm sure it'll be fine!" despite my protests in the doorway he pushed past me. "So… what did you want to focus on first?" he cracked open his notebook and thumbed through the pages while simultaneously avoiding the hazards on the floor before nonchalantly sitting down at the foot of my bed. His expression hardened for a moment, reaching underneath his leg he pulled a black and pink polka dotted bra out. He held it away from himself with two fingers, tossing it back on the floor. "So what'll it be?"
While Arnold flipped through his notes he had yet to realize I hadn't moved from my spot in the doorway. My jaw was hanging open and the sound I was making could only be described as a cross between a dying pig and a dolphin going through a wood chipper.
"You alright?" he finally glanced up at me.
"Yeah" I loudly cleared my throat. "There's only one problem.."
"What is it?"
"I sort of lost my notes…" I spun in a circle with my arms outstretched "In this hell hole."
"Not a problem. We can share my notes for now." he scooted over on the bed and patted the spot next to him. "I'll make copies of them tomorrow if you'd like."
"You are such a goody-goody football head!"
"Whatever you say Helga." he pulled his pen from his notebook and began scribbling something down. "I'm just trying to be a good friend."
I hesitantly walked over to my bed and plopped down next to him, being careful not to make contact with him. The last thing I needed was to get a bad case of the warm and fuzzies with Arnold in the same room as me…. Alone… and unsupervised. It would only end in some form of assault. Whether it be physical or sexual was undecided. I hoped I would never have to know.
Once we actually got into the material for our final things went pretty smoothly. We hardly argued at all, and I was actually feeling pretty confident in my mathematical abilities. Our pizza box was tossed on the floor along with the rest of the junk food we consumed in the past several hours and we were both getting deliriously bored from staring at mathematical equations for hours on end.
"It's already twenty past midnight." I groaned into my palms "Please tell me we're done?"
"We still have one more chapter to go over." he let out a heaving sigh before plopping down next to my reclining figure on the bed.
"My brain needs a break football head. Crimeny, I'm going to be seeing numbers when I close my eyes!"
"You're right" he wiggled around against the mattress, making himself comfortable. "So what's new with you?"
"Nothing new to report… why?" My awkward gaze met with his curious one.
"So you didn't call… what was his name again? Jason? Or something like that.."
"Jason?" my eyes widened. "No! Why would I call him?"
And why do you care?
"Didn't he tell you to call him up sometime? I just figured maybe-"
"I'd call him up and rekindle our special friendship?" I scoffed indignantly at the mere thought. Did Arnold really think I'd go back into that situation after all this time? "Jason and I were a joke."
"But you agreed to it-" he sat up on his elbow, giving me a hard stare.
"At the time it seemed like a good idea. You know? Two friends who were able to hook up at any given time and could part ways and shake hands afterwards. It seemed flawless."
Shut up Helga! Before you scare him with this nonsense.
"But it wasn't." he continued to press the subject further. I really didn't want to dissect my failed sexual experiment with him.
I decided to ask the obvious question "Why are you so interested in this all of the sudden?"
He grabbed one of my pillows and shoved it underneath his head. "When Trixie and I were dating… it was always so complicated. She wanted to spend every waking and eventually sleeping hours together. I spent less and less time with the people I cared about." he glanced over at me before quickly looking away. "And it was only right before we broke up I realized… me and Trixie weren't friends."
"She was your girlfriend."
"Isn't your significant other supposed to be.. I don't know… your best friend? Someone you could tell everything to? With Trixie everything was black and white.."
"Again, why the interest in friends with benefits? You planning on hitting up some desperate girl?" my heartbeat sped up to a particularly unhealthy pace.
He let out a hearty laugh and shook his head "No! I don't think I could do it. I'd probably be stupid enough to fall in love."
"Sex isn't love.." I blurted out, backing myself into the headboard of my bed. "Sex is simply that… intimacy." the route this conversation was heading to was straight into territory I didn't want to enter. I was starting to feel sick to my stomach..
"There's always feelings involved Helga. No matter how minuscule the feelings are… they're still there." he rolled over on to his stomach so he could look at me. "Are you saying you didn't have any feelings for Jason during those six months you two fooled around?"
"What does it matter football head? It's in the past!" my rampant temper was starting to get the best of me. Talking about 'feelings' was never my strong point and Arnold knew exactly how to push my buttons until I exploded.
"I may not say it out loud… but I consider you one of my best friends Helga. You've grown up so much since we've met. I respect you far too much to judge you on your past experiences, and if-"
"I was insanely into him! Alright? Satisfied?" hearing Arnold's heartfelt speech made me unwillingly crack. Ever since our youth Arnold was always dying to know this part of me that I keep hidden. It continues to get harder and harder to push him away… and it has been scaring me to death how close he is to breaking me. "I wanted him... But he didn't want me. Story of my life!" I muttered lowly, making sure I missed his gaze completely.
"He just wanted the sex?"
"He wanted all fun and no commitment. I was naive enough to believe I could go along with it."
"Didn't you say he had a girlfriend at some point?" a look of realization hit him.
"Like I said… he didn't want me." my eyes began watering slightly. I had spent a long time trying to erase that painful memory. Rehashing it with the secret object of my affections wasn't exactly helping.
"Nobody should ever be treated like they're nothing but a sexual organ." a low growl escaped the back of his throat. "It makes me so angry!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Arnold! The eternal romantic slash optimist!"
"Ha. Ha." he deadpanned. "For your information, I make mistakes too… I've had romantic blunders."
"So I've heard." I glared at him. "But you won't share with me! Your so called... what was it again? 'Best friend'?"
His face drained of all it's color. "It's beyond embarrassing Helga!"
"More embarrassing than having a fuck buddy dump you for a better piece of ass?" I screeched. He stared at me for several seconds before sighing heavily and burying his head into my pillow.
Note to self: never wash pillow again.
"No judging. Alright?"
"I swear" I held both hands up.
"Well…" He rolled back over so he didn't have to look directly at me. "Last year the frat got invited to their sister sorority's New Years Eve party. You were spending it back at home because Olga was in town if I recall correctly. Anyway…They guys were teasing me about my lack of a sex drive. While they hook up with girl after girl at parties I was always the one they bragged to afterwards. They got this crazy notion in my head that I was somehow missing out on some sort of grand experience. And since we were going to a party that was bound to be full of girls, everyone was encouraging me to finally (in their words) 'have a good time'… so I met this girl that night-"
"Oh my god!" I cackled in amusement. "I have no idea what happens next, but I'm already titillated."
"Oh shush." he grimaced slightly "Anyway, we spent a good portion of the night talking. She was a biology major from North Dakota here on a scholarship. I actually thought she was really nice…" he smiled to himself.
Whore.
"I was kind of shocked when she suggested we take things somewhere more private. It turned out all the bedrooms were taken, so she ended up dragging me into the supply closet downstairs where she then proceeded to kiss me."
"I'm waiting for the embarrassing part here!"
His eyes narrowed at me, instantly shutting me up. "The next thing I knew she was tugging at my belt and undoing my pants. I didn't know up from down at that point… I had never done anything so brazen before, I didn't know how to react! The next thing I knew I was pressed against the door while she… she… uh.."
"Polished your knob?" I snickered outwardly, grimacing profusely on the inside. I can't imagine any woman putting their mouth on a goody-goody like Arnold.
"Anyways… I guess during that whole fiasco I somehow…ugh.." he cringed. "Hit the door handle. And I sort of… fell… out." his cheeks turned a deep shade of red.
"You're telling me you fell out of the closet?….. With you flagpole raised?" I cupped my mouth to contain the obscenities I wanted to shout.
"I landed on my back… in the middle of that crowded party." he covered his eyes "Everyone got a great view."
"Wait wait wait!" I furiously shook my head "Is that why the sorority girls giggle every time they see you? I always thought they were hot for you! Holy SHIT!"
"I'm glad my misfortune amuses you." he sneered.
I could spend possibly years finding ways to tease him about this. But for some reason I actually took pity on him. His stupid frat brother buddies took him out of his comfort zone and it got him humiliated. I could totally understand why he never wanted to talk about it.
"You know what?" I moved from my end of the bed to his, laying next to his feet. "We're allowed to make asses out of ourselves in college! It's kind of a given. Didn't you learn something from the experience?"
"Never do that near a door?" he laughed.
"Amen to that dingdong." I tugged on his pant leg. "We all end up doing wild and crazy stuff at some point. You can't let your mistakes define you."
"Is that why you don't date?" his eyebrow raised.
"That is by choice."
"There's nobody you want to be with?" he quietly yawned, stretching himself out a little.
"Dating is so overrated." his yawn produced a chain reaction from me. "Besides, dating is a two way street.. I doubt anyone wants me."
"You never know until you try" he yawned again.
"For as long as I can remember I've never been good with guys Arnoldo. There's something about me that just screams 'friend' to anyone with a set of testicles. I keep thinking the right one will see beyond my tough exterior and see the mushy good hearted center I try to keep safe behind this seemingly impenetrable wall I've built." I let out a long sigh "Who am I kidding? Nobody sees me as a girl anyway.." I glanced over at Arnold to find his eyes shut and his breathing coming out rhythmically with the rise and fall of his chest… he was asleep. It was nearing two am… waking him up and forcing him to walk back to his dorm would be completely rude. I curled up into the fetal position and smiled to myself.. Arnold was sleeping next to me in my bed..
"I see you.." he slurred.
I hope my lateness was somehow made up for even a LITTLE bit at the end of this chapter =P haha
I hope you all enjoyed! Chapter 5 is already in production and I PROMISE I won't be taking a ridiculously long break like that again. Don't lose faith! haha
(any mistakes in this chapter will hopefully be fixed after I've slept! lol.. I'm going on 48 hours no sleep, but I promise I'll fix stuff later!)