Sasuke Says It To Hinata's Face - 4 -
Note: Happy with naruto ending/the last movie? Then please don't read, this isn't for you.
Hearing them talk about their dream, Sakura sharpen her eyes, bent her lips and decided to not give up so easily. For she too had one unfulfilled dream of her own that she decided to fight for as determined and as passionate as the two of them. For her, the two of them were always like guiding lights to her heart. Sakura now knows that she only became this strong, independent woman because of them. She was influence by their strong resolves and their unwavering hearts. To Sakura, standing in one line with those two became her goal before she even knew it.
"Even now after we got him back, Naruto is still fighting to not lose him again!
How could I stop fighting for him, when Naruto, his one and only best friend, the one who gave up everything to bring him back, the one who lost an arm saving him, is still fighting for him!?
What chance do I stand compared to Naruto? I need to keep going! I can't give up! Not now! Not here! This isn't what I learned from them!"
In that full moon night, Sakura stopped at the same spot she once stood in and called the same name she called before, "Sasuke-kun."
He gasped softly in a surprise and stopped when her voice -that came from behind- reached his ears. He wasn't sure if that was his imagination, or was it really her calling for him again. That voice took him back in time to the moment the same girl called for him to stop him from leaving the village to walk in the path of darkness. This moment felt no different to him, for something in his heart told him that this was another try to stop him from leaving.
The same place; the same time; the same girl; the same voice; and the same feelings. In that moment he wondered,
"Are you here to make me stay in the village, Sakura? Are you still on that?
Even after all these years, and after all what I did to you… You're still…!?"
She gathered her strength and said, "I have something to say, a request! Will you please hear me out, Sasuke-kun?"
"What is it you want this time, Sakura?" he asked in calm voice.
She sharpened her eyes and said, "I… I want you to give me another chance, Sasuke-kun."
He gasped softly and blinked his surprised eyes then said without turning, "Another chance?"
She nodded, "Yes! I deserve another chance!"
He gaped his lips slightly in a shock, not believing his ears,
"She's still trying! After all what I did to her! She's still trying!"
He sealed his lips and partially tilted his head, "Why?" he asked, "Why are you doing this? Why are you still chasing after me?"
She lowered her eyes and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
To his surprised, her answer made his eyes waver and his heartbeats increase,
"You can't do this… You can't do this to yourself… you can't do this to me… It's too much…
I can't take it now… Please, stop…"
He turned his head away and said nothing back. Gazing at his back, she remembered all the years she spent chasing after him.
The childish excitement she feels every time she sees him eating his lunch alone quietly. The rosy hue that colors her cheeks every time he places his eyes on her. The real smile that crosses her lips every time she sees him with Naruto. And the racing heartbeats she feels every time his proud Uchiha crest appears before her eyes when he jumps there to protect her.
His broken voice cut her trial of thoughts and stopped the flashbacks, "I hate to see you hurting, Sakura."
She gasped softly and her heart pounded,
"Another rejection? No. I won't let you off so easily. This isn't why I came.
You don't understand, do you? I'm here to overwhelm your heart with my feelings…
It's the only way I could think of… That's my way of saving you, Sasuke-kun…"
She said in unwavering tone, "I will not let you push me away like that. Yes! I need you to give me another chance so I could try and make you accept me, just like Naruto did!"
She continued, "Naruto spent years running after you. He never gave up on you. He kept fighting to bring you back, to save you. I wasn't as strong as he was… I didn't see things like he did… All I did was cry and beg… but now, I'm different! I finally was able to stand with you two and not walk behind you! I fought with you, bleed with you, and won with you! That's why I must never give up on you. That's why I will never take no for an answer! It's because I saw you reject Naruto again and again… but in the end, after he really understood you, after he really showed you how much you meant to him, you finally stopped and accepted him."
He called in a fairly hurt voice, "Sakura—
She said to not let him add another word, "I'm no different! I will follow you, fight for you, force myself on you, and even bleed for you to make you accept me. I will keep trying and trying until I break you, just like Naruto broke you."
He turned his head to the front and said, "You're mistaken, Sakura. It's not the same. You and Naruto aren't the same. You shouldn't compare yourself to him…"
"You didn't accept Naruto right away! I get it! I get it now! You will never accept anyone unless they prove themselves to you! I can see that clearly now, thanks to Naruto…"
"Don't compare yourself to Naruto, Sakura! It's not the same! It's—
"So please!" She said, "Please let me try again! Let me be there for you until the end! Let me do my best to gain your trust, just like Naruto did."
"Why are you still going on about this? Why aren't you listening to me? Why are you even—
She stepped closer while saying, "Because… because I still… after all these years, I still love you, Sasuke-kun."
"You deserve better, Sakura. You deserve to be with someone who really appreciates you… I can't be with you! Not after all what I did to you! I can't—
"You do appreciate me and I know it! It's just that you don't want to accept me! And I'm willing to do my best to make you accept me, Sasuke-kun!"
She stood only a step away from him and said, "I can't give up on you. That's what Naruto taught me. I was young and naïve but now I know better! I have faith and I think I can do it!"
His voice slightly quavered when he said, "You're mistaken, Sakura. It's not that I don't accept you… I do accept you. I know how strong you are. I watched you grow stronger and stronger over the years… you even stood with us in the same line and fought with us side by side… I know your powers and I know how hard you tried. I know how strong your resolve is. I respect that, I really do… but… what you're asking of me… is something that I cannot give… I'm sorry, Sakura…"
"Why are you shutting me off? Why are you pushing me away? Why can't you even try?" she asked in a soft voice.
"Because I don't want to see you hurt, Sakura… I don't want to see you in pain because of me. I apologized to you once... and I don't want to come apologizing to you again…"
She got closer and wrapped him with her arms, just like she did once before to stop him from slipping any further into the darkness, and murmured, ""I will shoulder your hatred and die with you" is what Naruto said to you. What I will say is, "I will fill your loneliness and live with you" Sasuke-kun."
He lowered his head and shut his eyes, not knowing how to respond to her feelings. Her warmth, her touches and her words, they all arrested him and made him stop and wonder, "Why?"
Feeling his warmth and hearing his pounding heart, she smiled and dropped a tear,
"I'm sorry I'm making you speechless. I'm sorry I'm adding to your burdens. I'm sorry I'm showing you this teenage girl in me again, but I know that, one day, you will realizes why I did this… and maybe you will thank me for it… and maybe… maybe… you will start to see me differently..."
The man she hugged that time was slightly trembling. She didn't know why but she wanted to make it stop. She murmured, "I want to do this. I want to try and win your heart. I want you to look at me the way you look at Naruto." She smiled.
"Please, stop…." He huffed.
"I can't… I have to do this…"
"Why?"
"Because I still care about you…" She cried.
"I don't deserve you. I don't even share the same feelings with you… I can't do this to you… It's not right! It's not fair." He said in a broken voice.
"I'm sorry but I still can't take "no" for an answer. It's too early to give up, for I'm part of team 7 too. I grew up with you two… I guess I'm too stubborn to give up now thanks to the two of you."
"Naruto… he forced himself on me until I…" he muttered.
She said in her smiling voice, "I will be as annoying, as stubborn, as foolish, and as loyal as he was. You gave him a chance; now please give me a chance. It's only fair though… we… we deserve another chance…"
"I never gave him a chance… he's just so stubborn…" he smiled.
"I will be the same, so prepare yourself, Sasuke-kun. For I'm not going to step back or give up on you that easily."
He remained quiet for a moment then said, "Why are you going this far for me? What am I to you?"
"My teammate, my friend, and my first love."
He shut his eyes and a soft sigh escaped his lips. He nodded very slightly and murmured,
"Thank you, Sakura."
Her eyes walled tears when she heard the same response he gave her once before. She thought that what's coming next is a hit at the back of the neck or genjutsu to stop her from following him, but she was wrong again. This time he only stood there waiting for her to release him.
"I need to leave now, Sakura. It's getting late."
"But I still have so many things to talk about…"
"Please… Let me go..." he muttered.
She smiled and pulled her arms away while mumbling, "You've really changed, Sasuke-kun."
He inhaled deeply and said with deep gaze on his face and before walking away from her,
"I won't lie to you, Sakura. That's a promise."
He walked away after leaving that answer to her. She knew what he meant but she didn't care. She wanted to force herself on him one last time, not because she was still the teenaged girl she used to be, but because she now knows better. This was her way of saving him. Her deep feelings were all she has to give, for she believed that only true love would save him from falling into the pain of loneliness again.
"Even if you think that you'll never love me, I'll still try because I know that you have a place for me in your heart, and because I think you need to feel loved…
This village may not accept you but I will always accept you. That's why I'm doing this…
I want you to know that we still love you… you're important to us… we all care about you… we really need you...
And to my pain, I still love you, Sasuke-kun. My love for you never changed... so childish of me, I know, but I can't lie to myself… my heart still pounds when you look at me… but I'm here as a friend, not a lover… I'm here to show you that my feelings for you will never change…I will never turn my back on you, Sasuke-kun! I promise.
And thank you for not lying to me or pitying me, even after I forced my feelings on you… thank you for respecting me. I love you."
Sakura's stubbornness was causing Sasuke's heart both pain and comfort.
Pain, because just when he thought that his struggle with Naruto's resolve finally settled, a new struggle with Sakura's resolve was born. He didn't want to go with it for he already knew the answer… but he couldn't break her heart yet again by acting violent.
Comfort, because he knew that someone out there – besides Naruto – would always remembers him. He won't be forgotten, even if he disappeared in the far lands of sand, this heart will still remembers him, just like a devoted family remembers their dearest sibling.
In that moment, Sasuke didn't really know what to do or say. He wanted to tell her to give up before even trying but he also didn't want to crush her feelings.
"It's really annoying… I used to say it clearly to her face… but now… This new me..."
He sighed and talked to the newly born guy in him,
"You'll make me suffer for all the things I did, won't you? But this time it's even worse… Naruto knew the pain of solitude that I know… he knew the pain of loss, the hatred and the resentment…. It's different with Naruto… He was prepared to go as far as it takes to stop me, for I was really his one and only… he was ready to really shoulder my hatred and die with me… He wasn't only saying it, he was ready to bear it only to save me..."
He lowered his deep gaze, "So why are you pushing me to accept Sakura's wish when I already know the answer? Why make her suffer even more for my sake? Are you trying to break me down again? I don't want to accept her out of guilt or pity. I will never do that to her. It will be even worse than blowing her off…
What should I do? How am I supposed to deal with this? Do I let her try even though I know what my heart desires… or should I stop her…?" he scuffed,
"As if I could… those eyes she showed me, they weren't going to just give up. She really meant it this time. It's all because of you, Naruto. You influenced her so much that she turned into this stubborn person, just like you…"
Thinking of the bond Naruto and Sakura shares, he jolted, gasped, and turned to look at the far gate that he walked through a while ago. His parted lips and murmured,
"No! You… you were only!" his lips drew a faint smile and he huffed,
"Liar."
He turned to face the opposite direction, gazed at the moon and murmured with a smile on his lips, "Fools… we're fools… real fools…"
He continued walking away while still smiling, "True. I cannot think of love when all I could think of is putting an end to this system. That's my dream. It's all I have… That dream is my only reason to live… If I could reach it, then maybe my heart will finally find happiness. Then, I won't see that broken look on your faces…... That's what I really want, Naruto, Sakura…"
Sasuke left Konoha searching for answers, for his heart was still lost and his soul was still yearning for their dream. Yet still… no matter how much he tried not to think of it, it still would come to his mind and troubled his heart…
"I really wish he didn't do this to you… Just after he finally got you to accept his feelings, he forgets all about you, just like he did with me… How did he manage to do it? Why? What changed his heart? It's as if he was stolen from us… I'll never understand why he did all of this. It's just not like him…"
"What was it, Naruto? Guilt? I hope not… because… because if the feel of guilt would make you forget about us then… then I'm sure a greater pain of guilt will torment your heart when we're no longer by your side…
That's why I will make sure I stay by your side until the end of time. I don't want you to suffer… You don't deserve to suffer. I will always be there so you won't feel any regrets towards me. I owe it to you. I hate to see that broken look on your face, which is why I'll make sure you don't put it on your eyes for me. For if you did, then I will start hurting again… and when I start hurting, you will start hurting for me as well… Yeah, we're still the fools we used to be… but I won't let that happen. I won't be the reason of your pain ever again, Naruto."
In the full moon night, she sat there wondering about the question that Sasuke asked her, for it was still echoing endlessly at the back of her mind.
"You know that he's happy with you, right?"
She spaced out and wondered if she gave the right answer to Sasuke's question, if she herself knew the right answer to that question, and if smiling means true happiness…
"Are you really happy with me, Naruto? Did you choose me because you wanted to be with me? Or were you only being nice to me? I'd hate it so much if your love for me is only a nice act from your part…
But who can tell? Naruto was always clueless about his feelings… right, Sasuke-kun? Even he himself doesn't know the difference between love, care, respect and admiration. He didn't have real family bonds in his life… How is he supposed to tell?
I guess in the end, Naruto loved so many people but still couldn't tell the difference… the only bond that influenced him so deeply and saved him from falling into the darkness was his bond with you, Uchiha Sasuke. That bond is really special to him… and I know this because even now after we got married, he still sits there quietly and reminisce about his moments with you. That look he places in his eyes tells more than he wants to show… that look shows his real feelings so clearly… That look makes me really envious of you, Sasuke-kun…"
She wiped her tears with the tips of her fingers and murmured to the moon,
"Please make his dream come true, Uchiha Sasuke. Please work with him. Please be by his side. Please look over him. Please be more than a brother to him. I entrust him to you with the greatest confidence. You will guide him, encourage him, protect him, and watch over him. So please don't ever leave him alone in this. Please do your best to make him the true hokage he wants to be! He needs you and I know that only you could do this."
She nodded then smiled,
"Thank you for everything, Uchiha Sasuke. It's your turn to return the favor now.
I hope my dream, Sakura's dream, Naruto's dream and yours comes true soon."