Chapter 4: Farewell
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" Hey, are you... are you really gonna go?" He asked as I looked at him irritately.
" How many times do I have to say, Tsuchiura? The answer is yes."
" Are you out of your mind? She meant you no good by sending that damn invitation, why bother go?!" I looked at him from the corner of my eyes.
" I want to. I just like going to weddings." He glared at me, half hearted.
" Oh, do you now? Do you know how bad of a liar you are?"
" What do you mean?"
" C'mon, you know yourself better than anyone else that you hate parties." I sighed, rubbing my temples. He was giving a headache.
" Urusai no!" I shouted as he stared at me, with disbelief and some parts, terror in his eyes. Realizing what I have done I looked away and closed my eyes, letting out a frustrated sigh.
" Goman-nasai. I...I just..."
" Then I'll go with you." My eyes widened as I looked at him. " Look, there's no way I'm going to let you go there alone, okay? So I'm tagging along, I don't care whether or not ou like the idea but I won't back out no matter what you do or say, alright?" For a while there I just stared at him, speechless. I was about to tell him not to do so, but when saw the determent look in those eyes of his. Something inside of me just gave away.
" S...sure."
" Then it settle. I'll be here at 3.30 p.m on Saturday to pick you up."
" It's not like I don't have a car you know."
" But I'd like for us to go by my car." I opened my mouth to protest but he cut me off. " No argue please. What I say is the law."
" Speak for yourself Tsuchiura."
" Anyway, let's go and have breakfast. I'm starving!"
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Tsuchiura left, by my request. I needed some times alone. Sitting in the living room doing absolutely nothing with a steamy cup of tea on the table. I didn't think of anything for a while, leaning my back against the sofa as I closed my eyes.
/ So many people were there in the theme park, but somehow I have never lost my sight of her, she was like a dot of light in the midst of darkness. She was so real, so vivid in front of my eyes, wearing a summer dress with the soft color of cream which made her hair look even brighter, brighter than ever. I raised up my hand, trying to reach out for her. She was laughing with her beautiful voice.
" Kahoko." Her name slipped my lips as she turned around to look at me and smiled gently. She kept on running as I chased after her. Step by step, somehow, she just got further and further.
When I finally get a hold on her shoulder, she turned to look at me again, the scenary changed, the sun was setting and we were in the park next to the seaside. Aoi was standing next to her, Kahoko looked at me coldly.
" Go away. I don't love you anymore, Tsukimori." /
My eyes snapped open as I gasped, my heart was going on a race. Slitting my fingers through my sweat soaked hair as I sighed. Those images from the nightmares I have been having just kept on coming back into my mind. It wasn't like I didn't have enough trouble already.
Standing as I took a glass full of water and drank it all then went back to my parents' room, needed to make the bed and dust a little. In the time I waited for my hand to be healed, I should only do light things with it, and dusting is what I do for now. This place wasn't that dirty to begin with but still, at least I got something to do instead of doing nothing for the whole day. Between the books onn the shelf, I saw a pice of paper peek out. I pulled it out and looked at it. A flight to Rome, to the theater... Oh no, this can't be. So th reason why mother and father went to so many concerts for the passed few months was because of... me? If I didn't go to the concerts then our family won't have enough money to pay for all of the concerts. I crumbled the paper I my hands, I could feel my heart twisted inside my chest. Just because of me...
" Kuso." I hissed between my teeth and slammed the door closed as I went out, back to my room.
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Saturday, August 5...
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I'm wearing my best tux here, the shirt with the color of coral, a black vest, matching pants and shoes along with a wine-colored neck tie. Comping my hair and giving it some gel then sprayed a bit cologne onto my wrists and the back of my neck. Standing in front of a mirror I checked once again on my outfit and how I look. Fine I guess. I looked at the watch on my wrist, 3:20. Tsuchiura will be here soon, better get down. I told myself as I went out, grabbing a box with white wrapper outside on my way out.
Five minutes to go, as I sat in the living room and waited for him. Sipping the last drop of tea then went to put it in the sink. I'll wash it later, that was what I had in mind. Suddenly, I heard a loud horn outside, it must be him. I went out, locking all the doors and gate. A black car was waiting out at the front gate with Tsuchiura who was wearing sunglasses, peering from the window as he waved at me.
" Yo, Tsukimori! Konbanwa!" I nodded and opened the door to get into my seat, which was next to him.
" You're 30 seconds late." He looked at me irritately.
" Well, I'm sorry for being 30 seconds late!"
With that he glared at me, but it disappeared as fast as it came then he started the engine and drove away. We didn't say a single word, not until he broke the silence.
" What's with the fancy tux? It's not like you're going to your wedding or anything."
" One's must always dress in proper clothes wherever they go and on any occasions." I replied simply.
" Yeah, yeah. Those boring lecture again, I should have known."
" Then why bother asked?"
" Is that for them?" I noticed that his gazes were focus on the box besides me as I nodded. After that, I heard him sighed loudly and heavily.
" You are too good sometimes."
" Maybe..." I whispered inside my throat then turned my attention back to the sceneries outside.
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Palace Restaurant, a very big place, which was only meant for rich people. So Aoi must have been planning this for a long time. After finished parking the car we went out, many guests were already there. Suddenly, a memory swept through my mind.
/ We were inside the living room, I was reading music sheets with a cup of tea in my hand then all of the sudden a magazine blocked my sights as I jerked up.
" What? What's the matter Kaho-chan?"
" Let's make our wedding here!" She almost shouted with delight filled her voice.
" Where?"
" Here, on the magazine!" She pointed at the big picture on a douple-page. " At the Palace Restaurant!" I stared at the picture for a while, then turned back to see her big, warm and happy smile. I sighed in defeat.
" Sure." /
" Tsukimori! Tsukimori!" I turned around.
" Nani?"
" Are you coming or not, if you don't then just stand there spacing out for all I care." I realized what I just did.
" Gomen-nasai." He went to me and patted my back then smiled brightly.
" No need. Now come on in!" After that he lowered his face and whispered into my ear. " Don't worry. I'll never leave your side." I looked at him with my eyes widened as he pulled me on the wrist. What he just said was... not-at-all-normal, but somehow, it soothed my soul very much. It made me feel more confident, somewhat much better than before.
" I announce you two are both husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Aoi lift up the white thin cover as... Hino's face revealed ad they kissed each other passionately. They must have loved each other so much, Hino and Aoi. And I was just a third person that stood in their way.
/ " Hey, let's play bride and groom!" She smiled at me.
" Bride and... groom?" I was confused.
" Yeah! We are going to get married soon, so why don't we practice first? Then we'll do exactly what we did here." /
I gritted my teeth slightly as I put my head on my palm, trying to control my emotions. I could feel that my heart was twisting inside my chest, slowly bleeding. But I told myself I should forget all about that, I was happy, at least I got to see Hino wore her special wedding dress and be happy with her husband, now. Aoi and Hino, they made a great match. Yes, they do.
The couple went out to the entrance, as Hino was passing through me, between that three seconds, her eyes leered to look at me, filled with disgust and amusement then looked away instantly. My eyes widened a little, but that was to be expected. I sighed heavily, better give out the present then go home, no one wants someone they hate to show up in their special day and ruin their fun.
" Ano, Tsukimori?" I turned my eyes to see that the guys were staring at me, I could see that they were looking at me with pitiful eyes.
" Oh, konbanwa, mina-san." I gave them a forceful smile.
" How are you? I'm sorry I wasn't there when you discharged out off the hospital, in fact we all are." Hihara-senpai said with an apologetic voice.
" Iie, I'm fine, no need to trouble yourself."
" Demo, it was kind of surprising to receive the invitation from Hino and Aoi instead of...you."
Like a thousands of needles pinned into my heart, I didn't answer as I looked away. Not that I don't want to answer, it was more like I can't and didn't have anything to say, not at all.
" Gome-nasai! I shouldn't have said that!" Then I saw that Kanazawa-sensei hit Hihara on the head hard. I smiled a little then stood up.
" I better get going, ja-ne mina-san." With that, I walked away.
Outside, the newly-wed couple were taking their pictures with the 'honor' guests. I waited for a few more minutes as the last photo was taken. I went to them and they didn't look that happy at all to see me. The invitation was just a prank, telling me to back-off and stop following Hino since she was about to marry someone else other than myself, they didn't really expect that I would be showing up here like this today.
" Ohayoo, Tsukimori." The blonde greeted me with a slight hint of annoyance and a murderous look in his eyes. I swear that if this wasn't his wedding day along with so many guests, he would have wrecked me up into pieces already. And I could see the same, yet lighter sensation coming from the bride.
" Gomen-nasai, I know that you are busy but I just want to give you a present for this special of yours." The crowd was starting to speak, since they have finally recornized who this pathetic looser was. I smiled and handed them the white box. " I know this is a small gift but please accept it." I smiled again then it seemed that something has snapped inside Aoi's head.
" What do you want?" He almost shouted.
" I just want to give you a gift, that's all." I said calmly, realizing that the groom didn't want anyone to mess with him or his bride at all.
" Kaji-kun, you don't have to be work-up over such trivial thing, anyway, thank you for the present, Tsukimori-san." Hino stepped out to settle everything as she took the box from my hand. I took a chance and whispered into her ear.
" Now, I don't owe you anything anymore." Her eyes widened as she stared at me. But she'll get what I mean soon enough. " Well, if you excuse me, I'll be taking my leave now."
I walked away, not even once did I look back. Sinking my hands deeper and deeper into my pockets as I went to the parking lots. Tsuchiura was already there, leaning against the tree with his car right besides him. He looked at me as I went toward the car.
" Finish?"
" Hai."
We drove back home and this time not a word was spoken along the way, it was a mist of silence. I stared at the scenery outside like what I've done last time, but I didn't think of anything in particuliar, my mind was blank.
" We're here, Tsukimori." I was startled for a little as I turned to look at him. Suddenly, I felt a warmness rushed into me by the hand. Tsuchiura was holding my hand as he replied me with a determined look then smiled.
" Like I've said, I'll always be here for you. So don't you worry, everything is going to be fine."
I stared at him with my eyes widened, a very strange, awkward feeling went through my body that somehow made my heart feel so warm, it was like some unknown force was protectting my from all of the pain and suffering in this world.
I looked away, there's no such thing as an unknown force. I told myself. But deep down somewhere, I knew that I have felt it, right there, even though it was just a brief moment. I withdrew my hand then nodded as I opened the car's door and went out, before I closed the door, I took a look at him again.
" Thank you. For everything that you've done for me. I'm very greatful. Now, good-night." I bowed my head then went in, I didn't even give him a chance to say anything back to me at all as I closed the gate.
From the small gap of the window I saw the car drove away slowly as I let out a sigh then threw myself back to the bed. I put my hand to cover my eyes, I felt so tired, it seemed that a headache was coming, need to go and take my medicine or else my hand will take serious consequences. And I don't really want that to happen.
After doing that I went back to my room then opened the drawer as I saw a picture in there. A girl with crimson hair, wearing a dress that I bought for her and she was smiling. This was taken about two months ago and now, after all of this time, I finally realized how fake the smile was. I immediately closed the drawer then sat back down onto the bed. Suddenly, I heard laughter of a girl, very cheerful as I looked up. She was there, in front of my eyes.
'" Len!"'
" Kahoko?"
'" Am I pretty in the dress?"' My eyes widened, am I losing my mind? '" C'mon now, Len. I'm asking you, so at least say something."'
" Yes, it suits you. You are very beautiful, wearing that dress." I reached out my hand, I wanted to touch her, to feel her warmth on my flesh. But when I do touch her, she slowly faded away. " Kahoko." It was just an illusion, created by my mind to deceive me. It was only an image, just an image. Yet, my feelings back then weren't an illusion, they were real. So real, so vivid.
I broke down on my knees. I tried hard to forget the pain that was choking my heart. But it still remained, right there, lying heavily on my soul, tormenting me. Why? Why can't I forget?! When will I escape from this horrible nightmare?!! I couldn't breathe, and everything was burning, liked I have been devoured into a world that knows only pain and suffering. I gasped, trying to get some air into my lungs.
'" Are you alright? You seem to be in pain. What's wrong?"' That voice and the same image appeared, again. My head was hurting.
" Go away. You are not real. Go away!"
'" What are you talking about? I'm real, very real actually. Because you and I are the same, we are one, since after all, you create me."' That wicked smile curved its way onto her lips.
That night, a scream was heard coming from the house of Tsukimori. A very bitter and sorrowful scream that wrecked the atmosphere into the dark night.
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Ryotaro
I was on my way to Tsukimori's house, it was six in the morning but somehow couldn't go back to sleep. Because last night, I dreamt about Tsukimori and he was in pain, very much in pain as he screamed with his hoarse, cracked voice. I was worried so I decided to go to his house to check on him. Last night wedding wasn't the best one ever. He was controlling himself well, Tsukimori I mean. If it was me, I doubted that Aoi's face will be so happy, not at all.
Almost there. I thought to myself, everything seemed kind of peaceful, maybe I was wrong to be over work-up like this. Although, it wasn't until later when I found myself looking at a thick trace of black smoke on the sky and it was coming from his house! Kuso. What is that baka doing?! I fastened the speed and hurried to his house.
Practically jumping out of the car as I tried to open the gate. It was locked! Hard to figure. I sorted things out by climbing on the wall, lucky for me, my jump wasn't that bad. When I got inside the smell of burning ashes covered the whole place, it almost choked me. Then I saw him, standing beside a big fire, he was burning something. My eyes serached around until I saw something. It was a picture, of him, standing besides her! So those are... I saw Tsukimori turned around, he only seemed to notice me now. He turned to look at me. His thick hair was all messy then I saw tears slipped down from the corner of his now dimmed, reddish eyes and a smile appeared on his dried lips.
A painful and bitter smile that carved into my soul forever.
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To be continued...
A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I was a little busy with my homework, so sorry again. This won't happen again, I'll try my best to update soon. Anyway, how was the chapter. Please review. Thanks. Bye for now! ^_^