4. Two Futures, Two Soulmates...

"Bella have you ever thought of us?" he asked still pensive somewhere in the dark blue of the sky that embellished every sight of the forest, making dark tiptoes of the trees.

"Us..." I sighed. How can I make him realize, though he is right in every possible way.

If Edward didn't exist, I f I hadn't met him, if I hadn't fall hopelessly in love with him Jacob would have been the natural path my life would have taken. I've seen a life pass through my eyes, as if I had lived it already.

I saw two small children; their faces as splendorous and beautiful as Jacob, they did not had my pale fair skin nor Jacob's smooth bronze color, somehow the one girl and boy had found a balance where their skin was so tender and silky and the prettiest clearer olive tone I've ever seen, with rosy cheeks-a trait inherited by me- The girl with the eyes as black as Jacob's and the little boy with my eyes, a chocolate brown. I saw them running; I turned my head and saw a mature Jacob smiling at me, a radiant smile, holding me through the hand as we saw our children being happy in their own little world. I saw Rene holding my little boy, as Charlie was trying his best to make my pretty girl laugh with funny faces. It seemed like a real family portrait so safe and happy for all of us, for René and Charlie and Jacob and unbelievably me.

But I saw the two beautiful children disappear in the woods, while they were running and laughing I lost track of them, their laugh was further. While their laugh was softer, my heart was turning weaker, as if I had my children and lost them. I began to search them on the woods but nothing was there. I followed their sound, weaker every second until everything got quiet. I kept running, searching and what I found was something different and equally valuable. I found Edward, with open arms, a smile in his lips and his liquid golden eyes.

I reached for him and found some comfort, but it was as if part of me was still missing, while I was in his arms the image of those kids was erasing, until I stopped remembering, I just felt emptiness, in a very far corner of my heart I found that I was missing something but I didn't remember what it was.

"Bella! Bells wake up" I opened my eyes and found myself again in the edge of the river, the sky had now a very dark coat with flashing points of light, and a great, large, full white globe boosting light enough to enlighten the branches of the trees.

"I fell asleep, I'm sorry Jake." I yawned and cleared my eyes.

I watched the hand wrist clock delicately placed on my left hand and it was too late.

I rushed to stand up, but stumbled and fell into Jacob's arms.

"I have to go Jacob, it's so late." I tried to release my hands from his grip, he was strong enough to force me to stay.

"Let go Jacob, I have to go!" I said "Edward is waiting for me, let go!" I started to hit him in the chest.

"Stop Bella!"

"He must be looking for me, let me go now!" I had given up, tears were about to run down my cheek, I was looking through the woods trying to find the white house near the river.

"He found you."

When I woke up I was in Jacob's shoulder, he was surrounding my body with his arms, Edward must have seen us.

"When?" It was the only thing I could possibly spill out, I would certainly begin to cry at any moment.

"Not long before, he said that you came home at any time you wanted… if you wanted to come back." The last words slapped me in the face, so hard I was running out of air. I felt how the tiny drops of water were bathing my face.

"Are you crying Bella?" He tried to pull my head up for him to see it, I put resistance.

"No I'm not!" I said forcing my head to stay turned while Jacob used half of his force to turn it up.

"Bella what happens?"

"I just want you to let me go." My voice sounded as if it not had any emotion, I was staring blankly onto the forest.

"You heard what he said don't you, you're free Bells, free from him, from any compromise, from any future that takes away your life and everything you expect from it." This time I couldn't help but turn my head to stare at him.

"What do you know about my life expectations Jacob? I'm not free don't you understand? I was never condemned to any stupid compromise, I want him, I want to marry him, I want to be with him, I love him Jacob is that so hard to understand?" My sentiments were back with loads of tears, I wanted to come home, I should've never left from that party, I should've forgot Jacob, we shouldn't be friends, we shouldn't have seen.

"He can't give you what you want Bella, he's not giving you anything, he's just taking everything from you, your life, your parents, your friends, everything Bella." He was holding me harder through the wrists.

"Can't you see Jacob, he is not the one who wants to take things away from me, I'm practically begging for him to do it, my life is his, and my family is not any of your business. And what do I need Jacob, what do you know of my needs?" I was mad but still laugh at his face; he didn't see that what I wanted was Edward and nothing more; having him what else could I ask for? I knew I was hurting him but still didn't care.

"When you were sleeping Bella, you were mumbling senseless things, first you mentioned his name, and as if you had called it, he appeared from thin air, he was about to crash my skull when you said something, you said my name and smiled widely, after that you… well, you said you loved me, through all your dream you smiled and he was there watching you, for a moment I thought he would take you away and he would return to try and murder me-as if he could- but he stayed, he endured hearing you mumble my name, time after time and smiling. Then you said something about two children you began to say "Don't go, please don't go, mine, my babies." I didn't understand until he stared at me with broken eyes, he gave me a sad, pathetic smile and told me what I needed to tell you and then he left. You were dreaming of our life, of what can be our future Bella."

I was knocked from what I had heard, I hurt him, I hurt Edward, but then I still remembered of the emptiness that I felt, the blurry image of those two children staring at me popped through my mind like knives.

I had hurt him in every possible way, I keep hurting him, if I wasn't so stupid and selfish, I should have remained in the party, I should've forgot Jacob, he and I can't be nothing.

I don't want anything from him, I don't want the life that I saw in my dream, I don't love him, I don't want to love him, I don't want those precious tiny figures that keep staring me through the hazy dark woods.