Author's Notes: FFX and its characters, the Al Bhed, Sin, and Spira, belong to Square Enix. Most of the characters in this fanfiction are my OC's that I created, and belong to me. This story is set shortly before Braska's time.
IV - Doubts and Confessions
We arrived in Luca late that afternoon and I hurried off the ship, Vin following close behind me. I didn't know where to begin looking for Hiko and Nira, so I decided that I would ask around and see if anyone had seen them. People seemed wary to speak to me, seeing as how an Al Bhed was following me around, but I did manage to find out that a few people had seen a female Ronso and a teenage boy running around trying to find somebody. One woman I had talked to had seen them only a short while ago and she told me that they had climbed the stairs to the Mi'ihen Highroad. I hurried up the stairs, eager to get back with my friends and tell them everything that had happened, and all that I had discovered.
I ran out onto the highroad, Vin close behind, glancing this way and that way, trying to spot Nira and Hiko. I didn't see them, so I guessed they were probably a ways ahead of us. I rushed down the highroad as quick as I could run, only stopping when a few fiends blocked my way. I used black magic on the elemental fiend that had appeared and then I summoned Valefor to finish off the other two fiends. Once they were defeated, I dismissed Valefor and we continued onward.
By the time we neared Mushroom Rock, the sun was starting to set in the sky, and I was thoroughly exhausted from all the running around. I wanted to keep looking for Hiko and Nira, although I was quite tired. Vin convinced me to take a short rest before we continued looking for them and I sat down on a nearby rock. I glanced around for a moment, remembering the events of the day before.
"This is where I was abducted..." I said quietly. Vin glanced at me and then quickly looked away. He had apologized about having me abducted while we were on the ship, heading back to Luca. I still wasn't sure why that had happened. He kept telling me that he had wanted to protect me. But, I didn't understand why. What reason did he have to protect me? It made no sense at all. I had been a stranger to him, yet he had wanted to protect me...
"Meka...?!" I jerked my head up at the sound of Hiko's voice. I blinked, almost unbelieving as I stared at him. Hiko stood close by, Nira behind him. Before I could say anything, Hiko ran over and pulled me up into his arms. I saw tears in his eyes and I placed my hand comfortingly on his head, as he was only three inches taller than I was.
"It's all right, Hiko. I'm fine, see?" I told him. He held me a moment longer before he pulled away. He glanced to the side and glared at Vin.
"Why's that Al Bhed with you?! He hasn't hurt you, has he?!" Hiko asked me angrily. I looked at Vin for a moment, then back at Hiko, shaking my head.
"No, he hasn't hurt me, Hiko. His name is Vin. He's going to be my Guardian." I told him. Hiko had still been glaring at Vin but, after I said that, he turned to stare at me with a puzzled expression.
"Wh-what? Why? It was the Al Bhed that kidnapped you!" Hiko said, his voice rising almost to a shriek. I glanced away for a moment before I looked back at him.
"My father... is an Al Bhed, Hiko." I told him. Hiko looked confused, like he was unsure of what to say about that. "And... they kidnapped me because... they wanted to stop me from sacrificing myself, that's all. They wanted to protect me." I added. Hiko glanced at Vin, glaring slightly, then looked away.
"I guess we all want that..." He said quietly. I was startled by that. I mean, I could understand why he wouldn't want me to die. But, the way he had said it... There was more meaning behind his words. I realized then how much he really did care for me. Nira approached us then, her eyes looking Vin over before she stepped beside me. I looked up at her.
"We should go now." She said. I nodded and then looked at Hiko and Vin. Vin had stood up and Hiko had returned to glaring at him. I sighed and shook my head at them. I could tell the two of them would not get along well. I hoped they would learn to in time.
"Let's go. We have a long journey ahead of us." I said before Nira and I walked away. I thought I heard Hiko say something to Vin, but I wasn't sure what he had said. A moment later, Hiko was walking on my right, since Nira stayed on my left. Vin was behind us. A few times we ran into fiends, but Nira, Hiko, and Vin fought them off and we continued on our way through Mushroom Rock, the sky growing darker. I hoped we would reach an Inn or some sort of safe place soon, because I didn't wish to take on the fiends that came out at night here.
Our progress was slow due to my own exhaustion from searching for my friends, and the sun had set quickly. We ran into a rather strong serpentine fiend, and I summoned Ifrit to take care of it. Considering how exhausted we all were by that point, we decided to try and find a safe place to camp for the night. We came across a protected nook, but were surprised to see a fire burning at its center and an old man sitting nearby. He looked up at us and greeted us with a nod of his head.
"I'm sorry. We didn't mean to intrude." I apologized, and the old man smiled and shook his head.
"It is quite all right, M'Lady Summoner." he told me. "You all look exhausted. You may rest here." he told us.
"Thank you," I said as the others took seats around the fire. Hiko was motioning for me to sit beside him, so I walked over and took a seat between him and Nira.
"Where are my manners? I am Maechen, a scholar. At your service, M'Lady Summoner." the old man introduced himself.
"Oh. I am Meka, and these are my Guardians." I told Maechen, smiling.
"You're a scholar?" Hiko asked the old man curiously.
"Yes. I am on a journey, studying the history of our world, Spira, seeking its stories and secrets." Maechen explained to us. "Would you care to hear a story?" he asked us.
"Sure!" Hiko replied.
"Very well, then." Maechen said, clearing his throat. "Almost eight centuries ago, Lord Mi'ihen founded a legion known today as the Crusaders." He began. Hiko leaned over, listening intently as Maechen continued. "In just a few short years after their founding, their ranks grew throughout Spira. The Maesters of Yevon feared an uprising and accused them of rebellion." I glanced around at my Guardians as Maechen told us the story of Lord Mi'ihen, and I noticed Vin looking off into the distance. He seemed to be deep in thought.
"So Lord Mi'ihen walked along the road known today as the Mi'ihen Highroad, to go face their charges and refute them. He succeeded in winning the Maesters' trust, and his legion became an arm of the Yevon clergy. It was then that Yevon gave them the name 'Crusaders', which they have kept ever since. And the rest is history." After finishing the story of Lord Mi'ihen, we all made a small meal from our supplies and then we got some rest.
The following day, we woke early and said farewell to Maechen before we continued on our way through Mushroom Rock. Many fiends were about, so our progress was slow as we fought them off. During a brief rest, Hiko approached me.
"I didn't know that your father was an Al Bhed, Meka... I thought that you didn't know who he was?" He said to me, looking a bit awkward.
"I didn't know who he was until the other day." I told him. "I was surprised to find out that he was an Al Bhed, too. But... It does make sense. He was the one who taught my mother to speak Al Bhed. And, because he was Al Bhed, that was why my mother had kept their relationship a secret from everyone."
"So... What's his name?" Hiko asked me, curiosuly.
"Sig." I replied with a sad smile. I was reminded again that I would probably never see my father again, and it hurt to know that.
"You all right, Meka?" Hiko asked me, looking worried. I blinked at him, then looked away with a small nod.
"Yes, I'm fine. I just... wish I could have talked to him some more. Gotten to know him better."
"Yeah... After so long of not knowing who he was, I'm sure you'd want to get to know him once you finally got to meet him." Hiko said, looking up at the sky. "But, why'd you let him become your Guardian?" He asked quietly, glancing behind us at Vin. I blinked as I saw Hiko scowl. Was he jealous of Vin?
"He wanted to protect me. Besides, if I had told him no, he wouldn't have listened anyway." I said. Hiko looked back at me.
"I could get rid of him for you..." He whispered seriously.
"Hiko!" I scolded him. He blinked and a moment later a grin spread across his face.
"Just kdding!" He told me. I wasn't so sure I believed him, but I shrugged it off anyway.
The sun was low in the sky when we finally came to a little farm-turned-inn at the start of the Djose Highroad that also rented out chocobos. We had run into one rather strong fiend only a short while before, but I had summoned Ifrit to take care of it and we had continued on our way. Entering the inn, I sighed in relief as we got ourselves rooms. I was glad we could finally rest, for all of that walking had exhausted me.
We got ourselves something to eat, and ate quietly. After finishing the meal, I walked outside to watch the sunset. I sat down and, as I did so, I let my thoughts drift. We were only a short way from Djose now, so it wouldn't take long to get there tomorrow if we rode chocobos. Chocobos were a good method of travel, not only because they could get you to your destination faster, but also because they could dodge many fiends that would otherwise slow your progress.
"Payidevim." Beautiful. I did not need to look behind me to know who had spoken. There was only one Al Bhed with us and his voice was unmistakeable.
"Oac." I replied. Yes. He sat down beside me but I never took my gaze away from the sunset.
"You're... really going to fight Sin?" Vin asked me.
"There has to be a way to defeat Sin so that he will never return. I just have to find out how." I told him.
"What if you can't find a way? Will you still fight Sin and throw your life away?"
"I'm a Summoner!" I told him angrily, turning to face him. "It is my duty to fight Sin! I have to... I have to!" I shouted, my face flushed, as tears rolled down my cheeks. Inside, I felt very afraid. I didn't really want to fight Sin, and I knew it. I didn't want to die. But how could I let all of Spira down by quitting my pilgrimage now? People would look at me in scorn if I were to do that. Vin looked taken aback by my outburst for a moment, but then I saw his eyes soften and he moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. I was crying and I was so afraid. I clung to him as I continued to cry.
Why had I become a Summoner? I wanted to get revenge for what had happened to my mother. I wanted Spira to never have to deal with Sin again. To never lose another person because of Sin. I wanted all those things... But in my heart there was something that I wanted more. I don't know just how long we stayed there like that. But the sun had disappeared and it was well into the night before Vin said that we should go inside and get some sleep.
I stood, shakily, and then followed him inside the Inn. I gave him a quiet 'good night' before I slipped into my room. Nira and I had decided earlier that we would share a room and I noticed her leaning against the wall as I walked in. She looked at me but said nothing. I told her good night as I lay down on the bed, and then I fell asleep.
The next morning, we woke early and ate breakfast before we rented four chocobos for the next leg of our journey. Nira had to help me get on my chocobo, as I was having trouble getting on by myself. I blushed as she helped me up onto the chocobo, then I waited as Nira, Hiko and Vin got on their chocobos. Hiko came up beside me, a wide grin on his face.
"This is going to be fun! I've never ridden a chocobo before!" He told me excitedly. I smiled at him. I had never rode a chocobo before, either. When I turned my head, I noticed Vin staring at me, although he quickly looked away once our eyes met.
"Ready?" Nira asked us before I could think much of Vin's staring. I looked at her and gave her a nod and then the four of us, and our chocobos, headed off for the Djose Temple.
It was much easier and quicker riding a chocobo versus walking all the way to the Temple. We ran into no fiends, at least not ones that posed any threat to us on our chocobos. Our chocobos were much more graceful, and faster, than the fiends and so our trek along the Djose Highroad was a rather peaceful one. It didn't take us long to get to the Djose Temple. There was a small Inn there, too, right beside the Temple. We got off of our chocobos and immediately headed inside the Temple.
Vin seemed somewhat reluctant to enter the Temple, and I could understand why, but he followed us in anyway. The few people who were praying in the temple noticed Vin immediately and I could hear them whispering to eachother. What I could make out of their whisperings were not very pleasant. Hiko and I prayed before the statues of the High Summoners and then the four of us headed towards the Cloister of Trials.
"An Al Bhed can't go in!" I heard someone shout from behind us. I turned around, looking calmly at the woman who had spoken.
"He is my Guardian." I told her. "Guardians are allowed in, are they not?" I reminded her. She looked upset and confused and she glared at Vin, but she said no more. The four of us then proceeded into the Cloister of Trials.
"Dryhg oui." Vin said to me quietly, once we were inside the Cloister of Trials. Thank you. I looked at him for just a moment and, for some reason, I felt my heart flutter and start to beat faster. I shook it off and looked ahead.
"It was nothing. You are my Guardian, so you are allowed to come into the Cloister with me. There are no rules being broken." I told him before we continued onward.
Hiko, Nira and Vin waited while I prayed to the Fayth. It took me a little longer here than it had back in Besaid. Maybe it was because, deep down, I really didn't want this path I had chosen and the Fayth knew it? But, I had chosen this path so I had to see it through. I kept telling myself that. When I had finally finished, I was exhausted and I stumbled out of the Chamber of the Fayth.
I almost fell over, but both Vin and Hiko ran over to me, each catching one of my arms before I could fall to the floor. I looked at both of them thankfully and I noticed that Hiko was glaring at Vin. His eyes seemed to burn with hatred and... something else. I thought it might be jealousy.
"You need to rest, Meka." Nira told me and I nodded in agreement. We left the Temple, Hiko staying by my side and wrapping an arm around my waist to keep me from tumbling over. Vin had backed off after Hiko had glared at him. I really needed to have a talk with Hiko about his attitude toward Vin. I wanted them to get along. I knew it was hard for Hiko. He distrusted the Al Bhed, but he needed to at least try and be nice to Vin.
Once we got to the inn, we had a small meal and then Hiko led me to my room. He walked with me to the bed and I promptly dropped down on it with a tired sigh of relief, glad to be able to rest after so long spent in the Chamber of the Fayth. I shut my eyes for a moment and then opened them and looked at Hiko. Now was as good of time as any to speak with him.
"You know, you should at least try to get along with Vin. He's my Guardian, too. He's going to be around for a long time, Hiko." I told him. He looked away for a moment and I noticed the hate burning in his eyes before he looked back at me.
"Well, I would... if he didn't look at you the way that he does. I don't like it. He shouldn't look at you like that!" He told me and I noticed how he blushed slightly. I was reminded of my earlier thoughts. Of the thoughts I had had for a while. That maybe Hiko had deeper feelings for me than mere friendship.
"Hiko...?" I asked quietly, building up my courage to ask what was on my mind.
"Yeah?"
"How do you... How do you feel about me?" I asked him as I shut my eyes again. For a while there was silence between us. I wondered what he was thinking.
"I... I really like you, Meka." He finally replied, quietly.
"But... am I like a best friend.. or a sister? Or... Or something else?" I asked him and I opened my eyes so that I could look up at him. I gasped in surprise when I noticed that he had come to stand right beside the bed. He leaned over me, placing his hands on the bed on either side of my head. I blinked up at him in surprise, unsure of what to do or of what to say. I was confused. What was going on? What was he doing?
My eyes widened as he leaned his head down closer to mine. My heart was pounding so loud he must have been able to hear it. What was he doing? I couldn't think straight. Then, his lips brushed mine lightly, and only for a moment. Then, he stood up and left without saying anything more. I lay there in confusion, with so many thoughts running through my mind and my feelings jumbled. I didn't know what to think about what had happened. I had realized that Hiko cared about me, a lot. But... I hadn't been expecting this, depsite my suspicions.
I managed to compose myself enough before Nira came in later to check on me. I tried to sleep, but I kept waking up. Two things kept running through my mind. Both what had happened with Hiko and I, and also what had happened between Vin and myself at the other inn in Mushroom Rock, when we had watched the sunset together and I cried while he had held me. My emotions were so confused.
I cared for Hiko. I really did. But, did I love him? Did I love him like he seemed to love me? I couldn't answer that. And, I couldn't answer when I asked myself how I felt about Vin. I kept remembering the time when our eyes had met, back in Luca, and the strange feelings I had felt. The strange feelings that had continued to grow inside of me since. Why was love so complicated? I kept asking myself that, too. Nothing was ever easy for a Summoner, I realized then. Nothing.