DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything related to Fruits Basket. It all belongs to Natsuki Takaya.

The Ultimate Sohma Fan Club

The Dazzling Three

"Tori-san, get it through your intellectual skull already. This is a wonderful plan, even by mystandards. I am deeply impressed!"

A flamboyant voice rang from the receiver and Hatori rolled his eyes. It was almost midnight. This person needed to use the phone for everything. "But of course, this is Shigure we're talking about. The object of my nightly visions, my significant half…!" Shigure smiled and his eyes shone while Hatori leaned comfortably against the threshold of his living room, smoking. Shigure was in a happy mood. He even seemed to be emitting sparkles.

"Aya, you definitely complete me… and you know what I love the most?"

"Yes?"

"That we always share everything, don't you think?"

"Absolutely—"

Hatori's back was still hurting, he looked at the phone. "What you two undoubtedly share is a single neuron".

Ayame's deep, musical voice was suddenly blasting from the receiver. "Ha'ri! I definitely heard that, you dull, stubborn man!" he exclaimed dramatically. "Maybe I can come over and give you a massage? There must be so much tension on ALL your pressure points—"

"We will get back to this plan or this conversation is over" Hatori said darkly, his hand over the phone line wire.

"COLD AND HEARTLESS HA'RI! HOW CAN YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?!" Shigure and Ayame both shouted in unison. Hatori's hand inched a bit closer around the phone line.

Sighing, Shigure resumed the matter after munching on some Takoyaki. "Essentially, the plan is to give them a fake story, and Ayame will provide all the details. Once I submit it, it's automatically theirs. No one has to find anything about us. Something happens, we say we've been framed all along, which is true".

"Which is why you need me!" Ayame's lively voice flowed. "Recognising your cousin's outstanding talents. My creativity will certainly blow them away! I am most touched".

"There is a loophole" Hatori interjected. "Sayako can use this information against you, Shigure, or against the three of us if Ayame intervenes. We know she doesn't work alone".

Ayame's billowy voice came in, "Hatori, do you not realize this feels exactly like in the old days? Leave it to me. I, with my grand, persuasively charming skills, will convince that angst-ridden woman! That deadly, sensual display of fierceness has shaken you, Hatori! Those women cannot get away with it!" Ayame announced decisively. "We must recover your manhood at once!"

Shigure was giggling uncontrollably.

"My manhood is intact, Ayame" Hatori replied seriously.

"Aya-nii, Hatori's made a good point there… not his manhood. We must be very careful and you have to be especially cautious with what you tell them" Shigure said calmly. "If we meet at your shop, Sayako might be more willing to control herself. We will see you early on Friday… oh, you want to talk to Ha'ri? Sure."

Shigure handed the phone to Hatori, who took it and listened quietly. He frowned, smoking more intently. "You suggest that again and I swear I'll put you in a straightjacket". Hatori hung up quietly.

Shigure was suddenly curious as he ate more Takoyaki. "What did Aya say?" Hatori smoked some more.

"…If anything fails, I could model for Sayako in one of Ayame's wedding gowns".

Hatori sighed loudly. He looked down at Shigure, who was slowly crouching to the floor between laughing fits, holding one hand against the wall and the other hand holding a Takoyaki plate.

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End notes: This short one is dedicated to Lori-chan because she just asked when I was updating. Oh, and because she wants Akito and Shigure to stay together forever. ^_^

JeniNeji: She's helped me with all my rookie mistakes. SHE'S AWESOME. 3