A/N: So so so so sorry this took so long to get out. The end of the school year combined with going to school myself and being a mother to twin 5 years olds on top of planning my sisters wedding ended up taking a lot more time than I anticipated. This chapter literally sat half-written in google docs for weeks before I could even get to it and even then I only had time to write a couple of lines before I fell asleep. I tell you, if I could get paid for being a fangirl I would. That being said, I am back! Chapter 5 is already 2/3 of the way written and should be up by the end of next week. I am giving myself a bit longer on that one as my sister's wedding is in three days and I know I won't get much writing done until after. My plan is to update weekly from then on.
Thank you for sticking with this story despite the long times between updates. I truly appreciate every comment, favorite, and follow. You all are why I write. Seriously.
As always, HUGE thanks to o-u-a-timer and the-lady-of-misthaven for beta'ing. You ladies are my rock and I am so thankful that you take the time out of what I know are busy schedules to look at my writing.
Okay, I think I have rattled on long enough. Enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own OUAT and/or its characters.
Killian sighed while reaching up to pull yet another shirt from his closet and stuff it in his duffle bag. The house was quiet, with Emma working a bit later than normal on Fridays, and the only noise he could hear was Nate playing quietly behind him. His head fell backwards and he rolled it from side to side in an attempt to ease the tension in his shoulders. His eyes burned, likely due to lack of sleep, and he closed them tightly. He was so tired, tired of being alone, tired of the emptiness in his chest, tired of putting on a brave face, of being a single parent, tired of everything. He needed sleep, he needed a break, he needed… He needed his family to be together again, he needed Milah to remember that she had responsibilities that did not just include herself. What he didn't need was a trip to New York to meet with his publisher, but he didn't get a choice in that matter.
After all, he actually kept his word when it came to his promises.
Opening his eyes, he ran his fingers through his hair and turned from the closet. As soon as he did, Nate's face lit up happily, his pink lips curling into a grin to reveal the new top tooth that had joined the other three. His jaw clenched as he remember the sleepless nights and high fever that had came with the tooth. This one had been particularly hard on Nate and Killian had to do it all alone. The tooth's arrival had been yet another thing Milah had missed in her three-month hiatus from being a mother and wife.
His hand curled into a fist and he felt his cheeks redden with anger. It had been three months. Three bloody months and Milah hadn't even made an attempt to see Nate once, or him for that matter. It wasn't as though he hadn't attempted to contact her. No, he tried. He'd tried almost daily. He offered to bring Nate to her, offered to meet her for dinner so they could discuss their next steps, but all of his attempts had been met with silence. That is, until two nights ago when she'd finally agreed to take Nate while he went to New York for the weekend and, being the wanker that he is, Killian had agreed to allow her the chance to see her son without a second thought.
Nate's happy giggle rang through the bedroom, effectively distracting Killian from thoughts. A small smile lifted the corners of his lips as he watched his son stack the blocks Emma had purchased only for them fall to the floor once they were too high. It seemed that no matter what he was feeling, no matter what was going on in his head or his heart, Nate would always be able to bring a smile to his face.
Dropping to his knees, Killian reached out and hooked his thumbs under Nate's arms before pulling him to his chest. As Nate cuddled into his shirt, his tiny hand gripping the material tightly, Killian couldn't help but stare down at his son in wonder, his heart filling with admiration.
He'd never been more thankful that Milah's actions had occurred while Nate was so young or that Nate had been able to adapt so well to the changes surrounding the two of them. Bloody hell, it was almost as though Nate hadn't been affected at all. Killian just hoped it stayed that way, hoped that Nate continued to remain impervious to the chaos that surrounded their lives at this moment.
A quick glance at the clock sitting on the nightstand reminded Killian that he needed to get a move on if he were to have enough time to drop Nate off at Milah's before leaving for New York. Groaning, he stood quickly and settled Nate on his hip before grabbing his bag.
"Time to go, lad." He placed a soft kiss atop Nate's head and moved toward the door. "Papa has a long drive ahead and we still need to drop you off with your mum."
Nate grinned and laid his head on Killian's shoulder. "Mum?" He questioned, his eyes bright and excited.
Exiting the bedroom and making his way down the stairs, Killian trained his eyes forward, his teeth clenching involuntarily, and tried to ignore the pang in his heart at his lad's excitement over finally seeing his mother. It was an excitement he shouldn't have to feel because Milah should be with them, she should be with her son, with her family.
They should've all been together, but they weren't.
Nate's tiny legs kicked back and forth, hitting Killian's hip in the process, as he continued to babble about his mother in excitement. Killian shook his head and adjusted Nate on his hip.
"Aye, lad. Mum is very excited to see you. She's missed you so much, and papa will be back in just a few very short days. It'll be like I never left." He dropped his forehead to rest on Nate's, a smile forming on his lips as Nate's hands moved to press against Killian's cheeks. "You won't even notice I am gone, little lad." His last words were whispered against Nate's skin as he squeezed his eyes shut quickly.
Sodding hell. Why was this so hard? It wasn't as though he was leaving for weeks or months like Liam, it was mere days, a bloody weekend to be exact. There was no reason he should be nervous, no reason for his chest to be filled with dread at the thought of leaving Nate. He just wished… He wished Milah had been around more lately, wished that she'd seen Nate at some point in the last three months, wished that she'd been involved at all.
Pausing in the middle of Emma's living room, Killian ran his fingers through his hair. How did he get here, get to this place where he was second-guessing leaving his son with his mother? How the buggering fuck had this become his life? He shouldn't have to think about these things, he shouldn't have to wonder if leaving Nate with Milah was a wise decision, he shouldn't have to…
Taking a deep breath, he ran his tongue along the roof of his mouth. No, he had to think about these things, had to worry about Nate's wellbeing where Milah was concerned. After all, it wasn't Killian who'd left Nate crying in his bed in order to have sex. It wasn't he who chose an affair over his own child. That had all been Milah and it seemed, given her recent behavior, that she certainly did not regret her actions.
It definitely did not help that this meeting was important for his next book. His publisher had already allowed him to push the meeting back for the past two months and it could not be pushed back any longer.
"Papa, down!" Nate's voice broke through Killian's thoughts and the lad straightened his legs to further indicate he wanted to walk. "Pweese Papa! Walk!"
Grinning, Killian loosened his grip on Nate and guided him down his legs until Nate's tiny feet were securely on the ground. As soon as his hands loosened their grip on Nate's waist, he was off and running toward the front door.
"Oi! Nate!" He grabbed their bags quickly and moved toward the toddler. "Wait for Papa, lad."
Thankfully Nate was still too small to open the solid wood door of Emma's house and was forced to wait for him in the entryway. Reaching up to pull the door open, he paused as his phone vibrating in his pocket. Rolling his eyes, he shoved his free hand into his pocket to pull his phone out.
1 New Text Message from: Milah
His eyes narrowed and his stomach twisted nervously as he swiped across the screen to open the contents of the message.
Sorry for the late notice, but I won't be able to keep Nate this weekend after all. Going out of town with Robert. I'll try to take him later this month sometime.
His cheeks flushed as heat traveled through his veins. This couldn't be happening. Milah knew why he needed her to take Nate, knew how important this meeting was for his next book, knew that if he could bring Nate he would have. She knew he needed her. His heart beat rapidly and he felt his breathing increase. This had to be a bloody joke. It had to be, there was no sodding way she'd... His gaze shifted between Nate, who was waiting excitedly at the door in front of him, and his phone's screen and his heart dropped. His eyes closed as anguish took over his features. It wasn't a joke, he knew it wasn't. How could it be? She'd been doing this to Nate, to him, for the past three bloody months.
Fuck.
The bags in his hand dropped to the floor with a thud and his hand curled into a fist. Anger coursed through his body at Milah's actions, at her blatant disregard for not only him but for their son. Before he knew what he was doing, he'd dialed her number and put the phone up to his ear. It took her seconds to answer.
"Killian?" Her voice came over the line and his anger only increased.
"Do you care for him at all?" His words were spoken between clenched teeth. He was desperately trying to keep Nate from seeing his anger, from realizing that something was wrong.
"What the hell are you talking about, Killian?" He could practically hear her rolling her eyes.
"Nate." He continued, reaching out to grip Nate's hand in his own and walk him back into the living room. "Our bloody son or did you forget we had one."
"Screw you, Killian." She bit out. "I can't help that Robert decided to surprise me this weekend."
His heart twisted at the mention of Gold, his hands began to tremble as he tried desperately to hold on to the very little control he had in front of Nate. He did not want to speak his next words in front of his son. Biting the inside of his cheek as hard as he could without causing it to bleed, he cradled the phone to his ear with his shoulder and lifted Nate up to settle him on the couch. Turning the television on to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, he made sure Nate was safe and settled on the couch before making his way to the kitchen. Once he was there, once he was out of the earshot of his lad, he resumed his conversation with his wife.
"Perhaps not, but you can help that you have not seen him in three damned months, Milah. He was excited to see you this weekend, not that you bloody care, but once again you are just going to disappoint him." He leaned against the countertop.
"Like you are dad of the year, Killian. For God's sake, it is one bloody weekend. I'll get him next weekend." Her voice rose with every word.
"Next weekend?!" His hand slammed on the counter. "I don't need your help next weekend, Milah. I have to be in New York this weekend. It was the entire reason for me asking your help."
"So this isn't even really about me seeing Nate is it? It's about you needing to pawn him off so you can work."
"Pawn him off?" His eyes widened in shock. She couldn't be serious, couldn't be… "You've got to be kidding me. I've done nothing but take care of him since your little indiscretion." He turned so his back was to Nate and the living room. "It's been three months, where have you been Milah?" To his right, he heard a door open and close but he ignored it. "Where were you when he was up all night because of another tooth?" Frustrated tears formed in his eyes. "Where the bloody hell were you when he had nightmares and cried out, when he was sick and running a fever two weeks ago, when he started WALKING? Not here, that's for certain."
The line fell silent and he swiped at his eyes angrily. Turning back toward the living room, he wasn't surprised to see Emma, her eyes wide and concerned, sitting on the couch with Nate in her lap.
"Are you okay?" She mouthed, her hand coming up to brush Nate's hair out of his eyes.
He shook his head. He was about as far from okay as he'd ever been. Her lips formed a thin line and she jerked her head toward the steps indicating for him to finish the call upstairs and away from Nate's ears. Nodding quickly, he made his way to the steps as Milah's voice came back over the line.
"I'm sorry, Killian. I told you I was unhappy and you ignored it. I need some time, I need…"
Shutting his bedroom door behind him, his head fell back against it. "You need some time." He chuckled, rolling his eyes. "You've had three months to figure your shite out. Three months where I have been acting as a single father, but this isn't even about me."
His heart seized in his chest. Nate was all that mattered here, all that ever mattered. His publisher may be angry if he didn't make it to New York, but at the end of the day it would all work out. Nate was the one that was losing out on seeing his mother, on having a family. Nate was the one she was hurting and she didn't even bloody well care.
"He's a bloody child, Milah. He needs his mother. Just, bleeding hell Milah, just come and take him. Tell that wanker the your son is more important, that your son matters." More tears fell from his eyes onto his cheeks, his hands trembled while his heart broke for his lad. "Just, for once, put Nate first. Please."
His body slid down the door until he sat on the floor of his bedroom, of his and Nate's bedroom in a house that did not belong to him. His bottom lip quivered and he sucked it into his mouth, biting down until he felt a sharp pain.
"I'm sorry." Her words were callous, her voice hard and matter of fact. She wasn't sorry, she didn't care and he could hear it in her tone. Nate wasn't her priority and he hadn't been for a long time. "I can't."
His heart shattered into a million pieces as the phone disconnected. I'm sorry. He swung his head from side to side slowly. She wasn't sorry. It was bloody obvious that she didn't care, didn't care about him or about Nate, didn't care that she was hurting their son. She didn't bloody well care about anyone but herself. His mind couldn't comprehend the woman who he'd spoken to on the phone, the woman who placed no value on the son she birthed or the marriage that had lasted for over five years, the woman who was a stark contrast to the one he'd met in college. A sob escaped and the phone fell from his hand onto the floor. How could she, how could anyone, choose their lover over their child? Hopelessness settled in his chest. How would he explain Milah's choice to Nate, how could he… Covering his crumpling face with both hands, he wanted nothing more than to walk downstairs and pour himself a nice healthy glass of rum and down it in one go. He wanted to take Nate into his arms and never let him go, to assure him that he was surrounded by love by the people who were important in his life, by the people who mattered.
But, he did none of those things. Instead he gave himself five seconds to pull himself together, five seconds to calm his breathing and to wipe his tears away, five seconds to make himself presentable for his lad and best mate. After five seconds, he stood and made his way down the steps to find Nate resting on Emma's chest, his eyes half way closed in sleep.
"Are you okay?" Emma whispered the words as soon as his feet hit the floor. Shifting his eyes from Nate to Emma, he wasn't surprised to see her green eyes full of concern as she worried her bottom lip.
Unable to stand the weight of her gaze, he focused on the ceiling and took a deep breath. "I'm afraid not, lass." His head fell to meet her gaze and he could now see the unleashed tears in her eyes. "Not in the least."
Sitting next to Emma, he reached up and ran his thumb over Nate's cheek earning himself a grin from his lad in the process. Emma sighed and shifted, her feet curling under her, before leaning to rest her head onto his shoulder.
"I'll watch him." She whispered into the stillness of the room. "I already texted David and he gave me the weekend off. You don't have to worry about us, I've got Nate and we will be fine."
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him to kiss the hair a top of her head. He didn't need to ask how she knew what the fight was about, how she knew that these meetings were important, or how she knew he needed a moment before they talked about what happened.
Somehow, Emma always knew.
The door to his hotel room slammed shut behind him and Killian slumped against it. His head fell forward, his chin hitting his chest and his eyes closed as exhaustion set in. He'd left Emma's late Friday evening, his plane finally arriving in New York sometime after midnight. It had been well after one o'clock in the morning by the time he'd fallen into his bed. And it had been much later before sleep had finally graced him with its presence.
He lifted his head, the back of it banging on the solid door. On top of the mess yesterday, today had been an equally long day. It had been a day of editors, of agents, and of publishers. All of which were hounding him to get his next book completed quickly, more quickly than he thought he'd be able to. His hand rose, fingers pushing across his eyes to pinch the bridge of his nose. How the bloody hell was he meant to write a novel when he was busy being a single parent, when he was busy taking care of his son?
How was he meant to do anything when his marriage was falling apart around him? Everything he'd built, everything he'd worked so hard for, was ending. He's had the whole flight here to think on it, the whole evening and the whole bleeding day and… Bloody hell! She hadn't seen Nate in three months. Three bloody fucking months! And now, now she…
How could he be with a woman, fix his marriage to a woman who wanted nothing to do with her child, with their child. He couldn't. He...
His body slid to the floor as tears pricked the corners of his eyes. He didn't know how much more of this he could take, how much more pain his heart would be able to withstand. His head fell forward to rest in his hands. He was so close to breaking, so close collapsing completely, so close to...
His phone vibrated in his pocket, startling him out of his thoughts and he pulled it out of his pocket quickly to see Emma's smiling face as it rang with facetime request. For a moment he wanted to ignore it, to wallow in his dark thoughts, but a quick glance at the time reminded him that it was Nate's bed time and he would want to see his papa.
Taking a deep breath, Killian exhaled slowly and wiped his eyes before swiping his thumb across the screen to initiate the video call.
"Papa!" Nate's face, lips wide in a grin, filled the screen seconds later. He sat on Emma's lap, evident by her blonde locks behind him, and they looked to be camped out in her bedroom.
"Nate." He murmured, lips curling into a smile despite the pang in his heart. He wanted nothing more than to spend the next several moments with his son, to forget all that was troubling him and simply enjoy his lad's smiling face. "Did you have a good day with Auntie Em, lad?"
"Aye, Papa! Fun day!" Nate nodded enthusiastically.
"Did Auntie Em remember your bath?" His eyebrow rose in question. "We both know how forgetful she can be." He lowered his voice as if he were sharing a secret with only his boy.
"Hey!" Emma's voice could be heard over the video before her face came into view. "I'll have you know I did not forget his bath and we're perfectly fine, helicopter dad." She rolled her eyes pointedly into the device. "You've barely been gone twenty-four hours and I've yet to burn the house down. I'd say we are doing quite well. Right, Natey Matey?"
The video began to shake as Emma tickled Nate's sides. Seeing his son smile, seeing him laugh and giggle, was like a balm to the pain he'd been feeling. He felt his heart expand, lightness settling in his chest as Nate's laughter mixed with Emma's. His thumb brushed across the screen over Nate and Emma's face. The smile on his face widened. Suddenly he knew that as long as Nate and Emma were happy, as long as they were in his life, everything else would somehow fall in place.
"I can't wait to come back home." He whispered and the video stopped shaking completely. "I miss you both." The picture righted itself, this time to include both Emma and Nate's faces.
"Miss twu, papa!" Nate's head tilted to the left with another smile.
"I miss you too Killian." Her words were murmured as she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. He watched as her eyes focused on his face and softened. "You look tired, Jones."
It was the way she spoke the words, the tone she used, combined with the concern marring her features that told him she wasn't just commenting on his busy day. Emma had always been able to read him like a book, and he with her, so it did not surprise him that he would be unable to hide his troubles from her.
"Aye." He nodded his head slowly. "I am, Emma. I… I really am."
His voice shook at the end of his words and he inhaled quickly. He didn't want to lose himself in front of Nate, not in front of his lad.
"Hey." He voiced drew his eyes up to meet her gaze. "It's only one more day. Then you'll be back home with us. One more day and we can talk okay?"
His eyes closed once more, his head falling back against the door. "Aye. One more day." He swallowed, lifting his head to meet Emma's gaze.
"One more day." She gave him a small smile before turning her attention to Nate. "Alright, Natey Matey, tell Papa goodnight. It is someone's bedtime and we wouldn't want you to get off your schedule." Once again, she turned her eyes to meet his pointedly and he couldn't help the small laugh that escaped his mouth.
"Too true." He agreed, throwing a wink at the two of them. "Goodnight, little lad. Papa loves you."
Nate smacked his lips together to blow him a kiss. "Night night, Papa!" He waved, grin so large Killian could see his ever-growing set of teeth. "I lobe you!"
A wistful smile formed on his lips. "I love you too. Night, Nolan. I'll see you tomorrow, love."
She picked up Nate's smaller hand and waved both their hands. "Night, Killian. One day."
The call disconnected and the room around him darkened significantly. Standing from his place in front of the door, he switched on the light to walk into the bathroom. It was late and he had a another long day tomorrow, but at least he'd be back home tomorrow, back home with his family, back home with Emma and Nate.
Stopping in the bathroom, he turned and stared at his reflection in the mirror. Emma was right, he looked tired and run down. There were black circles under his eyes, his lids red-rimmed from crying. His skin was ashen, lifeless. He didn't even recognize himself. His hands curled around the countertop, knuckles turning white from the pressure. He couldn't continue going on this this manner, not if he wanted to be there for Nate. His eyes narrowed as he analyzed the reflection in the mirror. He needed to make some decisions regarding his marriage, regarding Milah and her actions.
Even if it killed him to do so.
The house was dark by the time he arrived home Sunday evening and he couldn't help the disappointed twist in his stomach. After a weekend away from Nate he'd been hoping to at least arrive home to see him before bed. Of bloody course his plane from New York to Maine had been delayed due to storms and he'd missed out on not only facetiming his lad, but also actually seeing him before bed.
Running his fingers through his hair, he sat his bag down in Emma's foyer while his other hand searched the wall for the light switch. Once he located it, he quickly flipped it on and made his way to the stairs. He may have missed seeing Nate before bed, but there was no bloody harm in waking him up to let him know his papa had arrived back home safely. He took the steps two at a time, excited to finally, finally, be home after two long days.
Reaching the landing of the second floor, his eyes glanced over to Emma's room and his eyebrows furrowed at the sight of her open bedroom door. Normally, Emma slept with the door closed. It was a remnant of her time in the system, of not feeling entirely protected unless the room she was sleeping in was securely shut behind her. The fact the door was open had his heart skipping a beat. She must have been worried about Nate, about not hearing him if he cried, and left the door open.
Moving swiftly, he walked to her door. Without making any noise, his hand curled around the doorknob and he pulled the door closed quietly. He lingered but a moment, just long enough to ensure she had not woken up, before the corners of his lips lifted in a small smile. Knowing Emma had not woken, he turned from her door to make his way toward his own bedroom.
His door was cracked ever so slightly, but the room inside was black. Pressing his hand against the grain of the door, he pushed it open and light from the hallway trickled in and allowed him to see into the the room. His heart skipped another beat as his eyes fell on the empty pack and play in the corner of the room, the same pack and play Nate had slept in for the last three months. Panic rose in his chest and his mind raced through are the different reasons Nate would not be in his bed. Perhaps Liam had arrived in town and he'd decided to take his nephew for the evening, perhaps Milah had changed her mind and he was with her, perhaps…
His eyes widened as the fell on his bed, as they fell on the sleeping forms of his son and his best mate, as the fell on Nate and Emma. His mouth fell open as shock took over his face and his heart began to beat quickly. He'd never seen Emma sleep with a child before, not even Benjamin and he was her nephew, and Nate… Nate had always been a very cuddly lad with him, but not with anyone else. In fact, Milah often used to become vexed because Nate would refuse to be lulled to sleep by her.
And yet, here he was laying on his side, tucked securely into Emma's chest. Her head rested above his on the pillow, his dark hair stuck up in every direction the ends brushing against the underside of her chin. One of her arms wrapped gently around his much smaller form, just slightly above the blanket that covered them both. In between the two of them was Croc and Giraffie and he could see one of Nate's tiny fists wrapped around the giraffe's neck while the other, the other was tanged in Emma's blonde locks and holding onto the tresses tightly. He didn't think he'd ever seen Emma so relaxed, so at ease, in all the time he'd known her.
He shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes and he lifted his hand to brush it back. He'd been so worried about this trip to New York, so worried about leaving Nate for the weekend when things with Milah had taken a turn from bad to worse. He'd been so angry with his wife for letting down their son once again, for ignoring the very person she should be fighting for and for forgetting that she was a sodding mother. He'd also been worried about Emma, about leaving Nate with her over night while he was away and while Liam had been out on deployment.
The smile that overtook Killian's lips was small but real. It was light, and soft, content in a way he hadn't been in weeks, in months. The sight before him filled his chest, his very being, with happiness.
This was Emma Nolan, the same Emma Nolan who had been his best mate since they were both children, the same Emma Nolan who had been by his side through thick and thin, who had been and was his other half. He should've known not to be worried, he should have known he could trust her, should've known that she would not let anything happen to Nate.
His feet propelled his body forward until he stood next to the bed. His hand reached out, thumb brushing across the apple of Nate's cheek. He should've known that Nate was just as important to Emma as he was to him, that he was just as important to Emma as he should have been to Milah.
Killian toed off his tennis shoes quickly before removing his hoodie, leaving him in the white henley and black sweatpants he'd worn on his flight. He climbed into the bed slowly in an attempt to avoid waking the other two occupants. Laying on his side, his head dipped forward and he buried his nose in Nate's dark hair and breathed in the scent of his lad, breathed in the scent of home. His eyes lit up as Nate's hold on Emma's hair tightened all while he pushed back into Killian's chest and allowed a sigh to escape his tiny lips.
Instinctively, Killian reached his arm out to wrap around Nate's waist and his fingers brushed against the back of Emma's hand accidentally. He held his breath for a moment, hoping he hadn't woken her only to be disappointed seconds later when her eyes opened slowly.
"Hey, you're home." She whispered, conscious of the sleeping child between them.
"Aye." He nodded his head slowly, a smile on his lips. "Thank you for watching him, Emma. I truly appreciate it."
She returned his smile, her green eyes locked on his and nodded. "It was nothing." He felt her hand moving underneath his own. "I'll just go back to my…"
His hand shot out, fingers curling around her wrist before he had time to process his own actions. All he knew was he didn't want her to leave, didn't want to lose the comfort her presence brought to him. All he knew was he didn't want to be alone anymore, he was so tired of doing this all alone.
His grip on her wrist loosened, his fingers moving along the back of her hand until he was able to intertwine them. "Stay." His voice sounded desperate and he was. In the course of two days his life had taken yet another turn down a road he hadn't seen coming, down a road that he would have to travel without the woman he thought he'd spend the rest of his life with and he needed his friend, he needed Emma. "Please, Emma. Stay."
She didn't respond with words, but with a simple understanding in her eyes as a single tear fell onto her cheek. Laying back down, she settled their joined hand over Nate's sleeping form and closed her eyes. He watched her quietly until her breathing became even, until the tear on her cheek dried, and until her worried brows relaxed.
His gaze turned to his lad, to Nate and suddenly every one of Milah's actions flashed through his head. His heart broke just a little bit more as the familiar feeling of hopelessness, of despair, settled in his chest and he closed his eyes tightly.
He wondered, and not for the first time, if that feeling would ever truly go away.
Thank you for reading! Leave me a review if you feel up to it!