Okies! I somehow managed to fire this shot for Shinpachi's day. It was done quickly, so I apologize in advance for any errors.

I STILL DON'T OWN GINTAMA.

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1/6

. . . . . . . .

Shinpachi's wrist and bruises had mostly healed, and he continued going to school. Attending class, doing the assignments, he was moving on with his dismal little life as best he could. As he sat in class, day by day, he felt heavier. Nothing tasted right anymore. None of the lessons and lectures he listened to really sank in anymore. All because he lived in a house that was not his own. And when he would turn to tell his sister something like he always did, she wouldn't be there.

He still hadn't fully forgiven Ginpachi-sensei or Takasugi-kun for what they had done, even though he couldn't truly fault them. They did what they believed to be best. But he couldn't thank them for it.

Sitting at his desk, barely touching the lunch he had prepared that morning, Shinpachi glanced at the sleeping Takasugi for what seemed the millionth time today. Whenever he felt his classmate glanced in his direction, he gave no hint of noticing him. Shinpachi wasn't sure if he was being spiteful, since he didn't really feel anything these days.

"Shinpachi!"

Jumping at the sunny voice, Shinpachi was barely prepared for Kagura's sudden appearance. Or maybe she had been there a while and he just hadn't noticed. It was sad to think he might have accidentally ignored her, considering he was now living in the same foster care as she was, along with her older brother. It was a small comfort to have at least someone familiar under the same roof, but it was something.

"You're not eating? Something wrong? You feeling sick?" With each question, Kagura bobbed her head to the right, then left, and right again, so forcefully her glasses nearly fell off.

"I'm fine… Just a bit tired…" He managed to summon up a weak smile. "Did you want something, Kagura-chan?"

"Thanks again for lunch!" The petite redhead smiled, dancing with the neatly packed bento. "Also, Soyo-chan invited me to stay over at her place tonight, so you don't have to worry about cooking dinner tonight."

"What about Kamui-kun?"

"He's survived this long without you, you don't have to worry about him," her tone turning flat as she walked away to tease Okita-kun and show off her wonderful bento.

Shinpachi had noticed that Kagura's relationship with her brother was somewhat strained. Primarily because Kamui was such a delinquent, and caused more trouble than was really necessary. The older brother went to a different school in the same district as Gintama High, known for its notorious students and teachers. He was strong, and a natural-born troublemaker. When Shinpachi started living with them, while somewhat pleased to be in the company of a friend, he doubted that he would get along with her older brother at all. And yet…in spite of that…

"Shimura, someone here to see you!" Hijikata-kun called. Shinpachi barely had time to look up before his visitor just walked right in.

"Yo, Shin-kun!" Kamui smiled brightly, ignoring his little sister's shriek of outrage and Shinpachi's flat stare.

Kamui-kun was a sight to behold. His red hair and blue eyes matched Kagura's, but his attitude was a lot less grounded. His uniform—with tiger-stripe lining in his jacket, and almost ridiculously big slacks—made him look the part of a classic delinquent. And in spite of his track record of not getting along with anybody, Kamui had taken a real liking to Shinpachi.

Sighing, Shinpachi left his seat to meet the taller boy halfway. "Kamui-kun…What are you doing here?"

"I ate my lunch during class, so I came to see if you had any leftovers," Kamui told him, rocking back and forth on his heels innocently.

Things between Kagura, Kamui and Shinpachi started to change once the latter had decided to take it upon himself to start cooking. The red-haired siblings revealed that, more than just looks, they shared an insane appetite. And Shinpachi's skill in the kitchen was something they had been lacking for some time. The first few days, they actually stood in the doorway, watching him cook as if he was working magic.

"This is wonderful!" Kamui always managed to say in between mouthfuls. According to Kagura, her brother had never come home before 2AM for any reason before Shinpachi started cooking for them. Shinpachi's catering was enough to bring the red-haired boy home every night. It would seem his cooking was also apparently enough to bring the delinquent to Gintama High.

"Our lunch period just started. I haven't eaten anything yet," Shinpachi told him flatly. "And can't you just buy something from a vending machine or convenience store?"

"But I wanted to see you!" The redhead smiled brightly, throwing his arms around the smaller teen and embracing him fondly. "My school is so boring and lonely!"

Almost every day, the older brother would hug and cuddle Shinpachi with the delight of an elementary school kid with his crush. Overall, Kamui had not really tried anything beyond that, and Shinpachi had learned to cope with his flighty attitude over the past several weeks. He was, however, fighting down his embarrassment at having the taller teen do this at his school, in front of everyone.

"You transferred to that concentration camp of a school all on your own! Kagura-chan told me when I first started living with you!" Shinpachi snapped, trying to shake off the weight of his arms around his shoulders, as well as the stares of his classmates.

Kamui spotted his little sister further back and stuck his tongue out childishly. "No fair telling, Kagura."

"Go to hell!" The bespectacled girl hissed, holding her own lunch close to her chest, lest her brother try and steal it.

"Well, that just means we can enjoy lunch together!" The taller boy smiled. "We can sit outside!"

"Kamui-kun. I'm really not in the mood right now…"

"Something wrong? You feeling sick?" Kamui asked, bobbing his head left and right—exactly the same as Kagura earlier. "You look tired. Is something bothering you?"

"This might be a shot in the dark, but you might be a contributing factor, redhead."

Everyone in the room was startled as Takasugi Shinsuke—whom everyone had thought to be sleeping—stood up and grinned at Kamui. The moment their gazes met, something in the air was filled with a charge of electricity. Like when a lion and a cheetah meet over a kill, there was no chance of it ending in any way but a conflict over who ate first.

'Wait. Why do I feel like the game animal here?' Shinpachi wondered, sweating nervously as he looked between his classmate and housemate. He worried just how this strangely inevitable fight would end, considering he was confident that both were capable of killing people.

"Okies! I need to know who—"Ginpachi-sensei's sudden entrance was the spark that fired the first shot.

Kamui pushed Shinpachi out of the way so he could throw a punch at Takasugi. Even when coming from his blind side, the dark-haired teen was able to block and shoot out his own kick towards the redhead.

"Oi!" Ginpachi-sensei snapped as they continued back a forth, nearly dropping his books in alarm. "What the hell are you doing in class!? Take it outside!"

Before Shinpachi could object and demand that the silver-haired teacher just stop the fight entirely, Takasugi and Kamui ran for the windows, jumping right outside. Thankfully, the classroom was on the bottom floor, so neither one was hurt before they charged away across the courtyard. Everyone crowded around the windows to watch the two continue throwing punches and kicks the whole way. Soon enough, they both scaled the school gate and disappeared.

"Dammit it all…" Ginpachi-sensei scratched his head irritably. "I forgot what I came back here for in the first place."

-:-:-:-:-

Takasugi didn't come back to class after lunch. He missed afternoon classes. No one had seen him.

In the end, Shinpachi left school feeling more concerned about his classmate than he really wanted to be. And realizing that, he felt ashamed and wanted to apologize to his classmate.

So much of his life had been spent apologizing. Growing up with Aneue, she had always been angry at him for killing their mother when he was born. He supposed that was where much of her initial aggression towards him had come from. But he had apologized to her every single day when they were children—apologized for taking the life of the woman who would have been his mother, apologized for living a life he didn't deserve—even if she had never once forgiven him.

It wasn't until after their father died that she started to throw things and hit him. If he tried to dodge she would get angrier, so he would just stay put until she ran out of things to throw, and he would once again apologize.

Shinpachi had wanted to wait it out. Maybe she would stop being so angry after a while. Once things had settled, life would get better. Once he was old enough, he could move out. That was what he told himself almost every day.

But every other day, Aneue would be a good mood. She would be happy and they would talk like everything was normal. There were even some days when she was sad and crying, and he would stop thinking about moving away, because that would leave her all alone.

Because he loved his sister.

Because he didn't want her to hate him.

Because he didn't want her to abandon him.

He would take every blow and apologize.

Now, he was all alone. He lived in a house that was not his own, with people unrelated to him. He didn't know what he was supposed to do anymore. Even if he graduated high school, he didn't know what he wanted to do. It was all as dark and uncertain as the back alleys he passed to and from school each day.

Shinpachi stopped, dejected, and looked down once such alleyway, as if hoping to find some answer.

Instead, in the shadows, he could make out two shapes standing over several others. For a brief moment, he feared he was witness to a gang war or a murder.

When his vision cleared, he found it was in fact Takasugi-kun and Kamui-kun, standing amidst a veritable ocean of bodies filling almost every inch of the alley. He was sure he saw a lot of blood smeared across the walls and ground. Neither of the taller boys paid it any mind, panting heavily, sweating bullets, and smiling like they had never been so happy.

"Please tell me you didn't kill anyone…" Shinpachi moaned, face-palming and calling both teens' attention to his small frame. "Because I really don't think I could handle that right now…"

"Shin-kun!" Kamui hopped over his fallen enemies to once again throw his arms around the boy and nuzzle against him like an affectionate cat. "They'll be regretting this day for a while, but they're all alive! No worries!"

That was a mild relief, at least. "What happened?"

"Redhead and I were hashing it out," Takasugi-kun grinned, stepping over a couple guys to retrieve his jacket from the bloody pavement. Luckily, as he shook it out, they could all see it was left unstained. "A few idiots thought they might their luck against us while we were distracted with each other. As you can see, it didn't turn out well for them."

"But it was so much fun! Punch Taka-kun, punch the guy behind Taka-kun, kick another guy, dodge Taka-kun's kick," Kamui sighed with pure delight. "It was amazing! You should have seen it!"

Shinpachi noted their bloody knuckles and noses, and could only sigh as he pulled some tissues from his bag. Kamui accepted them, perky as ever, and immediately set to stopping the flow of blood from his nose. As he approached Takasugi, the taller youth looked almost surprised at his concern. Though with how Shinpachi had generally overlooked him all this time, the boy couldn't fault him.

All the same, Takasugi-kun accepted the tissues gracefully first set about wiping his hands. But it was as he turned that Shinpachi immediately noticed that something was missing.

"Takasugi-kun! Your eyepatch!"

Curious, the teen felt along his face to find it was indeed gone. "Damn…" Casting a look around, the gauze patch was nowhere in sight, lost amidst the earlier fray. "Not likely going to find it again."

"Are you alright?"

Sighing, Takasugi merely pulled his bangs over the left side of his face to hide his eye. "It's fine…"

"You look better without it," Kamui smiled. "With your hair like that, you look like an anime hero."

"Or a villain, in this case," the dark-haired teen chuckled. The red-haired boy quickly joined in and the two shared a good laugh. It might have been a nice sound, had they not both been covered in bruises and blood.

And again, Shinpachi found he could only sigh. "You two are impossible."

Gathering what few things they had, the three headed for the convenience store further down the street. There, they bought something to eat, a few bottles of water to drink and clean themselves up the rest of the way, as well as some bandages and disinfectant. Shinpachi patched them both up without complaint before sitting down with his own sandwich and watched the sun start to sink in the west.

Takasugi-kun and Kamui-kun settled in beside him, eating and drinking to sate their appetites and quench their parched throats. But despite their injuries, they both looked happier than Shinpachi had ever really seen them before.

"Why do you guys look so pleased with yourselves?" He finally asked, honestly curious. "Is it really so fun to knock each other senseless?"

Redhead and brunette exchanged glances, and thought about it a moment. Of course, both boys understood Shinpachi's situation, so they had to think of some way to explain it properly.

"Most days, there's nothing of particular interest going on," Takasugi replied. "And the last few points of interest were not very pleasant…" He glanced at the smaller teen, mildly impressed when he didn't look away. "Finding a sudden splash of color and real life, even if it's just running around in a batshit crazy version of tag with someone as bonzo as this guy, is a nice change."

Kamui grinned, delighted to have been a high-light to Takasugi's day.

"So when something surprising happens, I like to enjoy it as much as possible…" Takasugi smiled at Shinapachi, "…for as long I can."

Not entirely sure that his classmate was just referring to Kamui, but not wanting to be wrong if he was, Shinpachi looked to Kamui to escape his piercing gaze. "And you, Kamui-kun…?"

"I just like to live each day," the red-haired teen told him. "You can't feel alive just sitting around, letting the world pass by without ever getting into some sorta trouble. So! I get into as much trouble as I need to in order to feel I'm not rotting away. Y'know?"

Such simple wants, Shinpachi felt somewhat ashamed in that he didn't want anything. They seemed to find what they wanted in day to day. He didn't know what he was supposed to do or where he even belonged. They, at least, had something they wanted.

While he could say that he had friends, he couldn't say that he was a real part of any real group or anything. They talked, they studied, and ate together. But he didn't have enough of anything to really belong with them. He certainly had not place with Takasugi-kun or Kamui-kun. They were strong, handsome, and smart in their own way. He was probably just as out of place sitting next to them here as he was sitting in the classroom full of people, if not more. They each had somewhere to go.

"Maybe I'm already rotting away…" He muttered. Tilting his head back, he didn't notice the other two looking at him in surprise at his words. "I feel so heavy all the time. I'm always tired. Nothing tastes right. Nothing seems real anymore. I must've rotted away by now…"

Takasugi downed the last bit of his water bottle, tossing it towards the trash bin without caring if it made it or not. "Do you want to go back to school? Up to the roof?"

Kamui blinked, suddenly perking up. "The roof? You like high places?"

Shinpachi glanced to Takasugi, before shrugging lightly. "I guess so…?"

"Then I've got someplace tons better than any old rooftop!" Kamui hopped up and took off down the street. "Follow me!"

While confused, neither Shimura Shinpachi nor Takasugi Shinsuke found they could ignore him. Curiosity got the better of them as the redhead was getting steadily smaller and smaller, and they picked themselves up to go after him. Although Shinpachi lingered just long enough to pick up Takasugi's water bottle and put it in the trash—not noticing Takasugi's smirk at this action—they were quickly chasing after him.

But even catching up to him, Kamui didn't slow his pace as they raced through town, their shadows stretching for what seemed like miles and the sun burning everything gold as it went down. It wasn't until Shinpachi started to fall behind that the redhead let up. By that point, they were at the edge of town, where the streets gave way to the main roads that led out into the hills.

Shinpachi couldn't remember the last time he had been out this far. But honestly, even feeling like his lungs were going to burst, he felt an oddly refreshing sensation fill his chest in place of air. Like that crazy run had cleaned something out.

Even though Takasugi was also a bit winded, he still looked as cool and collected as ever. "Where are we going?"

Kamui smiled without a hint of being out of breath at all, and pointed out towards the hill. There, both boys could see a radio tower and power lines reaching up and over, disappearing beyond the city limits. "Have you ever been out there?" The redhead asked, receiving only the shaking of heads. "It's a bit far, but the view is really nice!"

So they continued walking. Even after the sun had gone down, and the bright oranges and reds of the sunset retreated after it, leaving only a soft blue that steadily darkened. Making their way up the well-worn path, through the trees and surprisingly tall grass, they soon broke through to the clearing at the base of a radio tower. From there, they could look down and see the city lights glittering away.

"This way!" Kamui called them, having already climbed the first few feet up the ladder leading up the tower.

"Kamui-kun! That's dangerous!" Shinpachi yelled, panic coloring his voice as the redhead continued up the ladder.

"Everything's dangerous, Shin-kun!" He replied. "Even too much air can kill you, right? So what's the point in letting it hold you back?"

Shinpachi watched Kamui reach the platform he wanted and disappear, save for a shadow he could see moving through the grating. He looked to Takasugi, to see what he would do. But his classmate just stood there, waiting for his next move. He wondered, if he decided to stay on the ground, if Takasugi would poke fun at him. He wondered if Takasugi wouldn't climb up before him. He wondered if Kamui wouldn't stay up there all night waiting for them.

If he didn't go, was he a coward? If he did go, what was he expecting to find? What was the point of any of it? It's not like climbing a stupid ladder would change anything at all…

"I always thought this city was depressing," Takasugi-kun suddenly said, making the boy look up. "Nothing at all, except the sky as far as you can see…That's why I always liked being somewhere up high. If there're no buildings in the way, I can enjoy just being there."

It was an odd confession. Sudden and aimless. But Shinpachi wondered if maybe his classmate had never told anyone before. Not even his friends. And all at once, he felt oddly privileged to know this small bit about Takasugi Shinsuke.

And just like that, Shinpachi grasped the first rung on the ladder he could reach and started climbing. He was a little shaky, honestly afraid of falling off, but had decided that if nothing were to change just by climbing a ladder that it shouldn't be that hard to just do it.

Takasugi came up behind him, and Kamui was waiting at the top for them.

Once he set foot on the platform, Shinpachi released a shaky breath he didn't realize he had been holding. He still felt wobbly, being so high up off the ground and afraid of falling. But he was oddly comforted when Kamui pulled him into yet another one of his hugs, and Takasugi climbed up to stand beside them.

"I wanted to show you this. Look look!" Kamui moved towards the railing, urging them to follow.

Shinpachi moved to grasp the railing, still shaking. But the fear was suddenly overthrown by the view stretching out in front of him. Not just the city lights far below, but the stars filling the sky beyond the clouds overhead were what left him oddly speechless. He had never seen them so clear before.

"It's pretty cloudy today, but this is one of the better spots to see the stars," Kamui told him. "This is one of my favorite places. I camp out here sometimes, so it's pretty cool!"

Takasugi looked over the railing. "Anyone ever commit suicide here?"

That was enough to pull Shinpachi back a little bit.

"People can kill themselves anywhere," the red-haired teen shrugged. "It's such a waste! Living anywhere sounds like more fun to me!"

Takasugi chuckled. "It takes a lot more effort, though. But if a fish can evolve to walk on mud in the swamps, we can at least survive one more day in this town, right?"

And again, there it was. A simple reason. A short-term goal. It didn't give them a future beyond tomorrow, but it was enough to get them through today.

In the end, Shinpachi knew he couldn't be as care-free or as certain of himself as either Takasugi-kun or Kamui-kun. But he also knew that he didn't have to have a perfect answer for what he was supposed to do with his life. It would take a lot more effort.

"Takasugi-kun…"

"Hm?"

"…thank you…"

The taller teen jerked slightly, before going completely still. Then he looked at his with obvious shock in his one good eye, and the sight actually made Shinpachi smile a little bit.

He couldn't fault him for the actions he had taken. He had only done what they believed to be best. Takasugi Shinsuke, who care nothing for the world at large, had care enough to try and help him. And Shinpachi should have thanked him for that, much sooner than now.

"Don't I get any gratitude?" Kamui whined, draping himself over the smaller teen. "I showed you this pretty view, and you thank someone else? That's just mean, Shin-kun!"

Shinpachi tried to shove him off, but it was hard to do while he was struggling not to laugh. Harder still with Takasugi's own form trembling with barely suppressed laughter.

They stayed there for a while longer, enjoying the view and the odd company they gave one another.

-:-:-:-:-

The next morning, Shinpachi waited outside the classroom for Ginpachi-sensei. When the silver-haired teacher finally arrived, just barely before the morning bell, the boy nearly lost his nerve at the sight of him. But gathering himself, he managed to say the two words he needed to.

"Thank you…"

He quickly entered the classroom after that, taking his seat beside Takasugi, who was practically asleep and snoring at his own desk. Ginpachi-sensei waited outside for a while longer, either collecting his composure or just waking up the rest of the way, until a couple minutes after the bell to enter the room to come in and begin his lesson.

The days would be slow. And it would take an effort to find the answer he really wanted. But thinking about what he would cook for dinner tonight, and whether or not Takasugi would accept Kamui's invitation to come over and join them, would be enough to get him through today.