Done with the cheatin' that drove you away;
But you'll give me forgiveness if I promise to change.
I told you it's over, so what else can I say?
I'll be quittin' at the end of the day.
Rayna hummed when she cooked, or when she was happily engaged in any mundane task. Deacon couldn't believe he'd forgotten that about her.
Right now, she was busy in his refrigerator, shifting items from shelf to shelf, humming one of their old songs. He was leaning on the kitchen counter, watching her and smiling.
She extracted a carton of eggs, a plastic bag of grated Cheddar and a stick of butter and carried them over to the stove. She glanced over at him.
"Hey, what're you lookin' at over there?"
"You."
"Me, not in my birthday suit. Sorry about that, babe."
"Yeah, that's disappointin'. But the view's not really so bad, anyway."
She smiled at him.
"Hey, get me a ... skillet and a spatula, would you? And you can toast the bread."
"Sure."
He rummaged around in his cabinets and handed her what she needed.
She put a pat of butter into the pan and turned on the burner, singing under her breath now.
"This, us … look at the two of us … back to lovin' again, oh …"
He joined in, harmonizing on the next line.
"This, us … you an' me, baby, back together again..."
He lined up four slices of bread in the toaster and pushed the lever down.
"'Back Together Again' … there's a classic for ya, Ray. What was that … '98?"
"Oh god, no. I'd say '95 … or maybe '94? We wrote that after – what – our second big breakup? Third?"
"Well, if you're talkin' break-ups and make-ups, that's a long list, Ray," he said, shaking his head. "What number does that make this one?"
"This one? Oh, this one doesn't even count. This one's not on the list, babe. This one's epic."
He walked up behind where she was standing at the stove, spatula in hand, hovering over a couple of frying eggs, and put his arms around her.
"Epic, huh? I hope to god you're talkin' about the sex, Ray."
She laughed and turned around, looking up at him.
"Mmmmm … yeah, epic's a pretty good word for that, I'd say," she smiled, reaching up to kiss him. "You still got it, babe."
"I do, huh? Good to know. That's what I figured, from the sound of it. Just wanted to make sure."
He released her and walked over to the far cupboard, taking out two plates and setting them next to the toaster.
She stared at him.
"From the sound of … what? Oh god, Deacon. Was I … loud?"
He turned around and studied her, a terribly serious expression on his face.
"Well … let's put it this way, Ray: The windows weren't open, so I don't think the neighbors are gonna complain. But … you always did have a mouth on you."
She gasped and lunged toward him, swatting at him with the spatula. He dodged out of her way, laughing and just missing a blow on the arm.
She was laughing, too, and blushing furiously.
"Jesus, Deacon!" she said, looking at him, her mouth open in astonishment. Then she rolled her eyes and turned back to the stove. "Well, now I'm kind of … I dunno, I'm kind of embarrassed."
He walked over behind her and put his arms around her again.
"Don't be, darlin'. It's sexy as hell, I swear. I love it."
She turned around and buried her face in his chest.
He kissed the top of her head.
"I love you, too, by the way. I can't even remember if I said that the other night."
"You did," she responded, looking up at him. "In your sleep. It was sweet."
He kissed her mouth, smiling to himself as he realized how much trouble he was having keeping his hands off her, even for a few minutes. The toaster popped and gave him a reason to pull himself away. He took the slices out, buttering them and lining up two on each plate.
Rayna flipped the eggs, sprinkling the undersides with salt and pepper and then shaking cheese over each one.
"But … you didn't need to say it, really, Deacon. I mean, all these years … I guess I always knew. And then, after Chicago …"
Deacon handed over the plates and Rayna layered fried eggs on two of the toast slices, making sure there was plenty of melted cheese on each one, and placed the remaining buttered slices on top.
"Chicago? Yeah, I guess assaultin' you in an elevator wasn't exactly my most subtle move ever, huh?"
Deacon took the plates to the table and pulled a stool out for her, handing her a napkin as she sat down. Then he walked to the fridge and opened it.
"Well, you weren't the only one doing the kissing in that elevator."
"Nope. I started it, but I sure as hell wasn't the only one participatin', Ray. I got that, believe me. Hey, whaddya want to drink? I can make us some coffee …"
"I'll never sleep."
"Ummm … O.J.? Milk?"
"Skim?"
"Yup."
"That's good."
He poured out two glasses and brought them to the table, sitting down across from her.
"Can you imagine us, back in the day, sittin' home in our jammies drinkin' milk on a Saturday night?"
She smiled.
"Not even close, babe. It's fun, though."
"Yeah. It is."
She reached for him and they held hands across the table, munching quietly on their sandwiches and gazing at each other once again.
"This is delicious. I forgot how much I liked these."
"I can make you another one, if you want."
"Nope. Thanks, though, this hits the spot just right."
She took a deep breath and shook her head.
"Man, that night in Chicago, Deacon. You just left me there in that elevator. I got up to my room, I was about climbing the walls, I swear. I wanted you so bad."
"Hmmm…"
"Here's what you get for not checking your phone: I even texted you. I wanted you to come up and … talk."
"Oh, I got the message. And I knew exactly what you meant by talk," he said, grinning. "I was on that elevator so fast it would'a made your head spin."
"You were? But ..."
"I got up to your floor and there was Teddy, larger than life, right on your doorstep."
"No! Really?"
"He didn't see me, don't worry. I figured he must'a been there to surprise you. You sure as hell wouldn't ask me up there if you knew he was on his way. It was only later, when I put a few things together, that I figured out he must'a been there about the divorce."
"To ask me for a divorce, you mean. And then he insisted we had to tell the girls right away. It just … it threw me so bad. I wasn't expecting any of it. And then I found out he was cheating, and I figured out that's why he was in such a fucking hurry."
Deacon squeezed her hand.
"I'm sorry, darlin'. I knew somethin' was wrong when you missed that cue in Atlanta. All these years and I just never seen that happen before."
"I wish I could've talked to you about it, Deacon. I really … I dunno. I couldn't face you."
"Guess you could talk to Liam about it, though, huh?"
She looked up at him, her eyes uncertain.
"What happened between the two of you that night anyway, Ray?"
Rayna furrowed her brow, confused and more than a little annoyed, and stared at Deacon for a long moment.
"Y'know what? I really don't think you get to ask me about Liam, Deacon."
"I'm askin', Ray."
He had that fucking stubborn look on his face that she knew so well.
"Why? Does it matter? I mean, does it make a difference … between you and me?"
He looked straight into her eyes and his expression softened.
"No. 'Course it doesn't, Ray."
He brought her hand to his mouth, kissing her palm.
"It makes a difference … between me an' him."
"Oh god, Deacon. You're such a guy."
"Damn straight, Ray. Guilty as charged."
"Babe …"
"Rayna. Just be honest with me."
She sighed and rolled her eyes, pulling her hand back and running it through her hair.
"Okay, Deacon, you win. Brace yourself."
He took a deep breath and his jaw tightened. He continued to stare at her, stony-eyed now.
"Liam showed up after that concert in Atlanta, an' he wanted to take me out. And I just couldn't go back to an empty hotel room that night. I dunno, I … I wanted to go out, and get drunk, and not think about Teddy, or the girls – or you."
"Uh-huh…"
"So … Liam and I went out dancing, and we did a few shots, and then we went back to his hotel room …"
The look in his eyes had turned grim by now.
"And … um … he kissed me. And I kissed him. And … then I went into his bathroom and started bawlin' like a baby."
He looked confused.
"And then we spent the next couple hours sitting on his bathroom floor, talking about marriage, and divorce, and his parents, and my girls. And he held my hand, and told me I was going to be okay, and the girls were going to survive. Just like he did when he was a kid and his parents split up."
Rayna took in the astonishment on Deacon's face with more than a little satisfaction.
"And … then I went back to my room, and crashed for a couple of hours, and got up and packed. And when I got to the bus, someone who seemed to know all about what I was doing the night before told me off."
"But, so you two didn't …? But you said the other night you were goin' away with him. An' I thought … I mean, the way he was pawin' all over you on that stage, Jesus …"
"Well, I did plan to go to St. Lucia with him. But damn it, Deacon, you were with Stacey. It looked like the two of you were settling down for good - you were getting off the road, you had the dog, the whole bit. I mean, it about killed me, but ... I thought you were moving on with your life and you wanted me to move on with my life. So, I was trying. What else was I supposed to do?"
He reached for her hand again and brought it to his mouth, kissing her palm softly once more.
"I'm sorry, Ray. I know … it must'a been confusing. I … was confused, too. Me and Stacey – we tried, but … I just couldn't get you outta my blood, is all. She figured that out before I really knew it myself."
Rayna sighed and looked at him. Then she leaned across the table and wiped a crumb from his beard with her thumb, kissing him softly.
"Well, I'm glad somebody was smart enough to figure things out for us, Deacon. Lord knows we haven't been any good at doing it ourselves. If it was up to the two of us, we might never have ..."
She stopped and threw him a supremely naughty look, one that made him laugh out loud.
"What, you mean we ... might not be here ... drinkin' our milk right now?"
"Yeah, right, that's exactly what I mean."
They laughed as she sat back down across from him. Then he looked away and sighed.
"Well, I feel pretty awful about … that whole thing with Stacey, to tell you the truth. And ... and I know that what happened between you an' Liam isn't any of my business but … thanks for tellin' me, anyway. I mean, I hated watchin' him tryin' to get into your pants, I really did."
"Well, talk about feeling awful. Liam's not gonna return my calls for six months, I bet."
"Fine with me. Let's make it a year."
"Oh, Deacon, honestly!"
"I am what I am, Ray."
"That's for damn sure, babe. Hey, I'm full. Did you get enough to eat?"
"Sure did, thank you. It was delicious."
She stood and began clearing the table, but he took her arm, stopping her.
"Hey, don't worry about that. I'll do it later."
He stood up, gathering the milk and the butter and the cheese and the eggs in his arms and putting them back in the refrigerator.
"Gimme a minute and I'll go see about that music."