I think I've been hypnotized; I can't stop thinking of you. Implied Light/L.

Vexed

-x-

I remember the first time we met. It was at school, in a room filled with fresh college students. Crowds make me slightly anxious but you made me forget. When I looked into your eyes for the first time, my breath hitched. Hearing you speak to me, only to me... My heart stopped and I thought Ryuk pulled a fast one on me and I'd died. But no. I lived on to see another day.

You were so beautiful and mysterious; I remember thinking that Heaven must've lost an angel. But no. Angels can't compete with your refined beauty. Wide, dark eyes seemed to drag me in so deep that I barely had time to register that you were trying to say something.

"I am L." You whispered to me, causing my heart to stop a second time. This couldn't be... How could this miracle of God be my number one enemy? But wait, I'd thought. This could be exciting. Eloping with my greatest foe would be dangerous and thrilling, even. Unheard of and taboo.

But, as they say, the forbidden fruit is always the sweetest.

That day, in the coffee shop, when you asked me to join the Task Force... It was the third best day of my life (the other two being, of course, finding the Death Note and getting into To-Oh University). Joining the Task Force would mean that I'd work with you all day which, in turn, meant that I could watch you to my hearts' desire. It was a perfect proposition which got even better when you suggested you chain yourself to me. I could even forgive you for locking me away, as long as I could watch you.

I considered telling you how crazy you made me...

But then we caught Higuchi and I got my memories back. I remember glancing over at you when that unholy bastard keeled over and died. Your dark eyes held signs of fear, confusion and fascination. Seeing so many emotions in your usually blank gaze made my heart stop a third time since we'd met. It didn't start beating again until a few moments later because I'd realized that I would have to kill you. Kill you for being L, my public enemy number one. But I wasn't sure my heart would allow me to do something like that to you, the one that I cared for so deeply...

I hoped that my infatuation for you was just that, infatuation.

But, holding your body in my arms at last, watching the life leave your eyes, I realize that I was wrong. This wasn't mere infatuation or obsession... This is love. My heart falls at this too late realization and I resist the urge to cry and scream.

I loved you all along and never knew...

-x-

Woohoo, my first shounenai-ish drabble! I know that, on a scale of one to ten, it was a negative two but oh well. :)

..:I want to love you, but I better not touch:..