Dear Ackbar,
I'm getting a bit old for an X-Wing pilot, and ever since my 25th birthday I've noticed that my memory has started to suffer. The other pilots don't trust me with the preflight checklist anymore, which isn't fair since anyone could have missed the fact that Red 2 had a Rancor chewing on his exhaust port. I had no idea a humanoid body could be scattered over that wide a radius. The funeral was lovely though. General Organa tore me a new one about the senseless waste of it all and I lost six days shore leave because the Rebellion hates to go over budget on military campaigns and that X-wing was pricey.
But now Admiral Ackbar, I've only gone and lost a droid as well. I'd snuck out to the beach for some much needed tan top up time and can't for the life of me remember which sun lounger I left him on. All those darn things look the same you know. Plus the droid kinda looks like a beach ball, which means he blends right in next to the bucket and spades. Little bugger has my favourite jacket as well, it's real faux leather, you know, the kind that doesn't melt when you get shot at.
Do I own up to the General that I've lost yet more costly Rebellion property and get my ass kicked? Or do you have a better idea?
Yours Sincerely
Poe Dameron
Dear Poe
As someone in control of a vast fleet, millions of lives and, (in part, I would like to think) the fate of the galaxy with the five second short term memory of a goldfish, I can understand your plight. The famous Ackbar counter-counterstrike offensive was in fact created because I'd completely forgotten I'd ordered the first strike. However to help your memory, I can suggest two really helpful tips, make lots of lists, and repeat stuff other people have said...that way you can always be sure to blame someone else.
In regards to your droid, bide your time, the galaxy is a very honest place if the truth be told, I'm sure someone will hand it in eventually, after they have stripped it of all it's valuable parts.
And if your droid doesn't find it's way back...then blame someone else...every squad has a token Porkins, he's probably your best bet for a fall guy.
Admiral Ackbar