I took the place I am used to, behind Arthur, ready to serve, holding the wine for those who want a refill.
"Merlin, come on, this is your house. Come, enjoy the feast with us," Lancelot says, the rest of the knights rejoicing in agreement.
"Yes. Come on, Merlin, sit down," Gwen agrees. Even Arthur nods towards the empty chair.
"If you insist," I say, taking my seat. Dinner consists of me explaining the twenty first century to everyone, and explaining how no, the light isn't sorcery, it's called electricity. It's science. People don't even know magic is real, they don't "believe" in it. As if electricity wasn't hard enough to explain, I'm pretty sure Leon isn't convinced that running water isn't sorcery. Once I finish catching them up to the times as best as I could, the rest of the meal consists of jokes and me telling stories of life during my thousands of years.
After the meal, Elyan, Lancelot, and Arthur all excuse themselves for they need to relieve themselves. I'm not fond of the idea of my yard smelling like human waste.
"Wait," I say.
"Can't it wait just five minutes?" Elyan asks impatiently.
"No. I don't want you relieving yourselves in my yard. Follow me." I take everyone to the bathroom and show them how to use the toilet. An experience I never thought I'd have.
"When you're done you just push on this lever and it all goes down the hole."
"Where does it go?" Gwen innocently asks.
"That's complicated…" I respond, not really wanting to explain the sewer system to them.
Lancelot, being the brave soul that he is, is the first to try it out.
After a few seconds, we hear the noise of the toilet flushing, followed by Lancelot's excited exclamation, "It's incredible! Everything just disappears!"
"And you're sure it's not magic?" Leon asks skeptically.
"I know magic when I see it, and that's not magic." I respond, reluctantly. That's become my catchphrase over the last hour.