Had to republish this, there was a part that was seriously riddled with errors. Couldn't allow that, now, could I?
"How'd you do it?" Su whispered, looking deeply into the glowing fire. "How'd you get over losing your brother?"
Daryl poked the flames with a stick, making sure the heat would last past their dinner. He shrugged, looking up at the younger woman calmly. "Didn't dwell on it." He turned the squirrels around, hoping his short answer would suffice. He wasn't really in the mood to talk feelings; that was pussy talk.
"But he was your brother." She pressed, this time looking up, her face radiating the orange light.
His mouth remained closed, refusing to continue the conversation, and stared right back at her. Daryl saw her sigh in defeat and cross her arms around her middle, covering her abdomen and circling around herself. Insects, the fire, and the occasional night breeze were the only sounds he processed, though he could see the deep breaths moving through her body. "Hey." Daryl called out, signaling with his head that he wanted her to next to him rather than across from him.
A look of hesitation crossed her face, but it was gone as soon as it came and she obediently walked over to sit next to Daryl, though still maintaining a small distance between them. "I have––had––a brother too, y'know. He wasn't a great one… he was a shitty father, like mine, and was the worst kind of son, always getting into trouble and causing headaches for my mom. But he was still family." Daryl moved his eyes between the meat and her face, quiet as ever. "I haven't seen him in a long time, last I heard he was locked up for six years, but he would've only serve two by now; it was his life, there was nothing we could do about it. But his girls," she bit her lip, her voice rising in pitch. "–his girls were completely innocent to everything. They shouldn't have had to wonder why their dad was never around, why–-when he was-–he would only fight with their mom and yell at them. I tried to make it better, I tried to let them know they would grow up, maybe fatherless, but with love." A tear strolled down her face, which she quickly wiped away. "But they were… ripped open by their own grandmother… I saw it, saw her digging her teeth into their skin. Heard them screaming in pain and, and fear. Kayla trying to protect her little sister before she was torn apart too…How do you get over something like that?" Her gaze remained glued to the fire set before them, images of that fateful night blotching her memory.
"You don't." He stated bluntly. "World ain't a place for fairytales anymore, ain't someplace you can just pay someone to drug your problems away. Either you dwell on the past an' get eaten, or you move on and survive."
"But is it even worth it? Without them, my mom, my girls…without them, is there even a point?" Her voice lowered to a whisper, barely scraping past the breathy sighs concealing her tears.
Daryl looked into the flickering flames, grabbing two of the squirrels by the stick and handing one to Su, who shook her head and refused the food. Daryl shrugged internally, eating both rodents himself. She'd eat when she wanted to.
"Surprised y'ain't off'ed yerself yet." Daryl tore out a chunk of meat, speaking when he noticed her sniffing had quieted some, but not stopping to watch her.
Su looked up at him, focusing on the way his muscles moved and contracted as he ate. "I tried." She looked at her hands, dirty and covered in cuts. Daryl stopped chewing, grunting in response and waiting for her to continue. "After I buried them, I-I put the pistol to my head, but I couldn't pull the trigger. I was shaking. I thought, maybe it was the emotions of the day so I tried it again the day after, and again some time after that. Four times… I attempted to end my life four times, but I could never stop shaking…and it was as if there was a restraint on my finger that wouldn't let me pull the trigger. I didn't think I could go on without them but I just…I couldn't do it."
Daryl slowly began to chew his meat again, processing what she had just told him. He wasn't surprised, Su didn't seem like a necessarily strong person, physically or mentally. It usually annoyed it to see a person like that, but he could see the potential in her. Potential to become a fighter and surviver. Su just needed that push, so that she could see it herself. Daryl couldn't believe that anyone was that lucky unless they deserved it. "For someone who wanted to die so badly, I'm surprised you lasted this long." He croaked, finally turning to look at her once again.
"You think I'm not? Everyday I told myself, 'this is it, this is the last day I'll live to see.' But I was always lucky. Somehow, I was always able to find food, supplies, gas…my car was my shelter and I never really had to stop to kill any walkers." She let out a deep breath, wiping away any residue water from her eyes and turned to Daryl with a melancholic grin. "Maybe there's something looking out for me. If you had told me this a year ago, I might've even said it was my guardian angel, but you're right. There isn't room for fairytales, and the god of love I'd been taught about obviously doesn't exist. So we'll just chalk it up to the luck." She smiled and Daryl watched it slowly fade away in time with her eyes lowering to the space between them.
"I never really believed in god, so maybe he ain't the one lookin' after ya, and if he don't exist I doubt some freaky blonde guy in a dress with wings would be doin' it either. But I always liked to think if yer family could take care of ya before they died, why not after?" Daryl took the hand closest to Su and grabbed hers, looking at it as he spoke. "Maybe yer not as alone as you think. It could be yer mom lookin' out for ya now, with yer nieces. I think maybe they wanted ya to survive, to carry on their memory now since no one else could do it better." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, before wiping away the sudden onslaught of heavy tears that appeared. Daryl could feel her mood shift, the air not so awkward anymore, and when she reached over to grab a squirrel from the fire, he knew her emotions were calmed for now.
"Thanks." Su murmured, nibbling into the meat. "Y'know, this ain't half bad," she smiled.
Daryl nodded in understanding. "'s'no problem. You just missed yer family. I get it."
Su grinned, letting silence take over again, happy that this time it wasn't an uncomfortable one, and her smile grew as she saw Carol walking over to their make-shift camp. Until she saw the look on Daryl's face that is.
It had gotten too weird. First, she had to sit quietly while Carol roamed around his camp, only for Daryl to lash out at her; all while Carol allowed it. These were two people she cared about. Carol was obviously looking for someone to latch onto after losing her only daughter, Daryl refused to let her, and Su could not just sit idly by.
"Man, just go! I don' want you here!"
"Daryl…" Su cautiously approached, hoping to not get on his bad side.
"You're a real piece o' work, lady… What? You gonna make this about my daddy or some crap like that?" He scoffed, pacing back and worth, not bothering to acknowledge Su or the fact that she was now standing next to Carol, her hand on her friend's shoulder for support. "Man, you don't know jack…You're afraid," he glared at Carol, his finger pointed right at her face.
Su couldn't handle looking at Daryl as he, so maliciously, pointed out the obvious; ironic, when he didn't bother to acknowledge his own demons. She felt Carol tense, leading her to grip her friends hand.
"You're afraid 'cause yer all alone!"
"Daryl!" Su wrapped her arm around Carol's shoulder, the older woman still standing tall, though her eyes were brimming with unshed tears.
"Shut up!" Daryl led his eyes to Su for a moment, angry, then stared right at Carol's. This wasn't her conversation in the first place. "Got no husband, no daughter, y'don't know what to do with yourself." He began walking away. "An' you ain't my problem! Sophia wasn't mine! WHY DIDN' YA JUS' KEEP AN EYE ON 'ER!"
Carol swallowed the comment back, her head turning to Su's shoulder, while the latter stared in shock at his outburst. "Daryl, that's enough!" Her voice cracked; she should've kept an eye on her nieces as well, maybe then they wouldn't have gotten attacked.
Daryl ignored her, a fire in his eyes and the dark of the night making them look almost black. Carol tried speaking, her voice lost in emotion, and stared right at him with a defeated look on her face. Two pairs of eyes stared at the anger in the third, searching for something––anything–– to bring them back to the way things were, and Su was surprised when she felt Carol pull herself away, no longer able to hold back the weep.
They stood there, Daryl's chest heaving with anger and Su's eyes staring him down. "That was completely unnecessary, Daryl."
"Man, fuck you!" He turned, making his way to his tent.
"No, fuck you and your shitty attitude!" Su clenched her fist, her eyes shut as she cursed him.
"What you say?" Daryl paused, his head turning slowly to watch her. "Say it again to my face…" he growled, threateningly.
"Fuck. You. She was only trying to help!" She stood her ground, feeling a strange fear. She had seen Daryl upset, had heard of his tantrums, but never first-hand had she experienced that look he was giving her now; it was so different from the way he usually looked at her.
"Yeah? Well I don't need her help, don't need nobody's help, specially not yours so why don'ya jus' mind yer own business!" He stomped to her until he was frighteningly close. "If ya care so much 'bout her, why don' you jus' run to yer Momma Carol, since ya can' go back to yer real one!"
"Shut up, Daryl, that's not funny." Su whispered, looking down and away from him.
"I ain't laughin' an' I ain't jokin'."
Su looked up to face him, her lips pursed and her eyes gleaming. Before she knew what was happening, she felt her arm raise to Daryl's face before he grabbed it out of mid-air.
"I would seriously reconsider doin' that, if I were you." His eyes narrowed and his voice was dangerously low.
No sooner had he released her hand that Su went through with her threat and she walked away, leaving behind a very angry Dixon with a stinging cheek. He was tempted to go after her, show her not to fuck with a Dixon, but seeing two women walk away from him in the same night because of his comments was suddenly weighing on him.
Guilt. Not an easy feeling to deal with and one Daryl usually tried to ignore.
A/N: Ugh, I feel awful…this is a lot shorter than the last chapter, even if it's around the same length as the first two. And yes I just made Su and Daryl fight. Why? Because emotions run high, he's still upset over Sophia and not even an OFC could change that. Also, anyone else notice the lack of romance right now? Because I sure as hell did. But it's there for a reason. I don't regret the kiss, but I think Daryl would be the type that would want to be emotionally connected to someone (maybe not in love, per-say, but connected) before something further would occur. But he's also an in-the-moment sort of guy, which explains why he kissed her in the first place. Those are my canons, and I'm stickin' to them. And––this I get from many Norm-intervies––Daryl is too awkward to bring it up anyway, plus Su's still living in between the past and this new setting, which is why it might feel like they forgot the kiss happened in the first place. It'll all make sense, I hope. Anyway, please review!