Some day of fun. It's 8am, and Ben Wyatt is standing in the foyer of City Hall on his supposed day off. Leslie had insisted that before any other activity could begin that she had to see the "heart of the city". Heart? Perhaps a diseased, arrhythmic one that sometimes just forgets to work. But Ben forces himself to remember that Ron and Leslie need to have a positive view of the city, so that they are more likely to give the Parks Department what they need.
They're not off to a good start.
"What a wonderful mural! Is this about the tenacity of Pawnee citizens to overcome their differences and come together in times of hardship?" Ben winces. Leslie's asking about 'Wedding at Turbill Mansion', and her interpretation of the mural is far too optimistic. Chris looks as though he's desperate to lie to Leslie and put the most positive spin on the situation as possible.
"Leslie, what a wonderful way to look at it! That is literally the exact sort of image we want to portray Pawnee as for the future, and I am honoured that you already consider Pawnee in such a way…" His tone is a familiar one – he's left his sentence hanging. It's the cue for Ben to step in and take over.
"But unfortunately, almost everyone featured was killed after the events portrayed in the mural," Ben finishes. Ron lets out an appreciative chuckle, and Leslie looks a little taken aback.
"This is 'Wedding at Turnbill Mansion'?" Wait, she knows about the events of the wedding? Her shocked blue eyes are suddenly cloudy with comprehension as the weight of the history sinks in. It's clear that she's done her homework about this town, as a large majority of even Pawnee's citizens wouldn't be able to explain the mural.
"Yes, I'm afraid that is the infamous 'Wedding' mural. It's a tragic but important part of our history," Chris admits. Ben's glad that Chris has figured that it would be bad to completely lie about Pawnee and give the auditors a false impression of the city they're about to tear to shreds. Especially when they seem to know all the ins and outs of Pawnee before even being told about them.
Leslie's previously sunny expression is now so solemn that Ben wants to take her mind off the mural that she's gazing at so sadly. She reminds Ben of a puppy that someone has abandoned. Her lip is jutting out slightly in a little pout, and her mouth is distinctly turned downwards.
"I'd read about what happened, and I'd been hoping that it was just a myth. What's the next one?" Oh God. The next mural is aptly named 'Eating the Reverend' and that's bound to prompt some awkward and uncomfortable questions. It's Ron and Leslie's first day in Pawnee, and shoving them head-first into one of the darkest parts of Pawnee's history isn't the best idea.
If Leslie happens to ask about it before she sees the mural itself, Ben's prepared with a spiel about how it's merely a gruesome metaphor for Pawnee's obesity epidemic. The mural, despite being accessible to any member of the public who visits City Hall, is carefully withheld from all brochures and websites talking about Pawnee. There's a secret faction of City Hall whose sole job is to keep quiet certain parts of Pawnee's history.
"You know what, why don't we go and visit the Parks and Recreation department instead?" Chris improvises wildly, changing the subject. "Everyone's dying to meet you." That's a bit of a stretch, but anything is better than the graphic and incriminating murals that plaster the walls of City Hall. The four of them turn around, but not before Ron squints suspiciously at the walls beyond 'Wedding at Turnbill Mansion' and whispers something to Leslie. Ben glances sideways at the two of them as they walk down the hallway. His concerns about the mural are short-lived, however, when they arrive at the Parks department. The blinds over the windows to the department are closed, which is highly unusual. What's more, Ben can hear voices that he is certain do not belong to any of his co-workers within the department. Chris' face is wearing the same expression of alarm that Ben is feeling. Something untoward is occurring inside the office.
"Oh, no," Chris mutters as he reaches out and touches the door handle as if he's in a house on fire and he's checking the temperature. His hand grips the door handle, but he makes no move to actually open the door. In that moment, Ben realises that there weren't actually blinds on the front doors the day before. Some sneaky person (people?) has certainly made an effort to conceal their identity.
"Come on, son, we don't have all day. Are you going to show us your department, or shall we leave to go do something productive?" Ron presses irritably. Chris starts explaining the situation in German Sign Language so as not to alert the people inside of their presence. He must
"Ooh, charades? I'm great at this game! Okay…four? Is that a hut?...At least put your whole body into the charades, am I right Ben?" Leslie nudges Ben playfully with her elbow. Chris hushes her urgently, and continues to sign frantically. If Ben were in a better mood, he would gladly translate for Leslie and Ron, but he's not feeling particularly eager to move things along. Something about the unusual situation makes Ben sense that he's not going to enjoy whatever they will encounter in the office.
Ron's looking rather annoyed with Chris' display (already Ben's beginning to notice the slightest nuances of Ron's expressions), and he shakes his head impatiently. Ben suspects that if the day continues on in this fashion, they're not all going to make it out alive. After another 30 seconds of fruitless signing, Chris finally gives in to spoken language.
"There are strangers in the office who have deliberately hidden their identity from us, and it could be a security risk," Chris hisses. Leslie gasps and turns to Ron, who doesn't share her shock. Ben bites back the suggestion to summon Bert Macklin to investigate. It's quickly apparent that Bert Macklin isn't required, however, when Ron marches straight into the office with immense authority.
"Oh, look, it's people. Sitting at desks. How dangerous," Ron says sarcastically, waving a hand round the office. The people who are in the office aren't as innocuous as Ron realises, however. Not a single one of the six people already present belong to the Parks department. As Leslie follows Ron into the office, she doesn't notice how Ben and Chris are rooted to the spot, somewhat paralyzed with discomfort. Neither of them wish to deal with who's inside the office.
But as it's Chris' job as department head to act as a representative of their office and his staff, he thaws out and enters the office, a big smile on his face.
"Well, what do you know, it looks like the entire Events department is here to greet us this morning!"
Events. If childish snobbery was to take form of a department, it would be the Events Department. Ben loathes them with a passion for a number of reasons. For starters, they're experts at getting the higher-ups to divert Parks funding for their own ventures. They used to be part of the Parks department, but they broke off a couple of years ago after some controversial issues arose amongst the staff. Not to mention, they're downright mean.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Christopher Robin and his sidekick, Benjy Bummer." The head of the Events department (although they prefer to be known as the 'Events Team'), Kristen Holt, slips off April's desk and glides across the floor towards them. Kristen is essentially the antithesis to Chris – she's beautiful and extremely intelligent, but innately evil. Or at least, she certainly acts that way around the staff of the Parks department.
"Kristen Holt, such a pleasure it is to see you this morning." Even Chris is having difficulty masking his contempt for Kristen. Of course, the contempt is only recognizable to those like Ben who are trained to spot it. For all Ron and Leslie are aware, Chris is being extremely polite and courteous.
"Chris, it's highly impolite of you not to introduce your guests to us," Kristen replies sweetly, smiling broadly at Leslie and Ron. Ben's suspiciously eyeing Curtis Vincent, second in command. Curtis has a leer on his face that could be mistaken for a friendly smile. But the way he sinisterly sits, twirling ever so slowly in Ben's chair is an unmistakeable sign that it's meant to be a threatening gesture.
"Of course, my sincere apologies. Ron, Leslie, this is Kristen Holt, head of Pawnee's Events department. And these are the other members: Curtis, Dominic, Abbey, Julie and Todd."
"Most of your names are so similar to the names of the Parks department, was that deliberate?" Leslie asks enthusiastically. Chris and Kristen look to each other and both recoil slightly.
"No, that's a strange coincidence. But the two teams are very similar in a number of different ways. The Events Team and the Parks and Recreation department have collaborated on many projects together in the past. To help your transition into Pawnee, we've put on a breakfast for the two of you in a long line of exciting plans for the day to introduce you to our town. Please, leave it all to us," Kristen replies smoothly, giving another disgusted glance in Ben's direction.
Ben knows exactly what she's doing. The Events Team are trying to schmooze Leslie and Ron in the hopes that their budget won't be slashed. The Parks department is often unfairly compared to Events, and Parks rarely comes out on top. He suddenly feels very protective of Ron and Leslie, despite the fact he was plotting ways to send them back to Indianapolis not an hour before. But he will not lose them to Events.
"Actually, we already had some plans for Mr Swanson and Ms Knope lined up, Kristen. You can meet up with them once they begin the audit."
"Oh, but Mr Wyatt, we already have the banquet prepared. It would be such a terrible waste if they weren't to attend, especially if it's in their honour. You don't want to waste time and resources, do you, Benjy?" Oh, she's good. The word 'banquet' has piqued Ron's interest, and finally he actually appears to be looking forward to something.
"A banquet? What an excellent idea. Leslie, are you up for it?" Ron asks of his co-worker. For the first time that morning, Leslie looks slightly apprehensive. She glances from Ben to Chris before answering Ron.
"Well, don't you think we should go with what we originally planned with Chris and Ben? It seems unfair to cancel their plans in favour of these new plans." Ben can't help but smile at Leslie. She might end up being sympathetic to the plight of the Parks department. She truly seems like a good, honest person in spite of her job and her current task.
"Ms Knope, I can assure you that Chris will be far more productive and resourceful if he lets me take over the reins and show you the town. Our team are experts, and we're far better suited to ensuring that you receive a full, informative orientation." Well, Ron and Leslie can hardly say no to that. They accept Kristen's offer, and the Events Team all stand up, ready to launch into full swing. It pains Ben slightly that the whole of Events are up and ready to go, when he knows that his own co-workers will slowly straggle in still half asleep later on in the morning.
"Ben's on a personal day, so he'll go with you," Chris says firmly to Kristen. Curtis lets out a snort, but no-one protests. That indicates that they don't see him as a threat, which automatically offends Ben. Chris is once again using German Sign Language to Ben, instructing Ben on what he is to do. It's a plan to make the Parks department look far better than Kristen's team.
Truthfully, Chris is more suited to the job, but they cannot appear wasteful to the auditors, and Ben will earn extra brownie points for attending on his day off. Plus, despite Ben's ambivalence towards his job, the Events Team inspires a spark of competition in him. He's not going to leave the Parks department until he's sure that Events won't swoop in and eat the remains.
"We're going to have such a great time!" Leslie says to Ben. He's not so sure about that. But what he is sure about is that he's going to have plenty to tell Ann at lunch. Ann'll be upset to see that he directly violated her instruction, but she'll be pleased to hear that he's prepared to fight for the approval of Leslie and Ron for the sake of his department. The trick will be doing so without seeming like he's sucking up to them.
When Kristen leads them out into the hallway, asking Ron "Did they show you the mural 'Eating the Reverend'?" Ben knows for certain that this is war. He's too busy focussing on his battle strategy to notice Leslie whisper to Ron.
"I'm not sure what you're thinking, but I like these guys. This town ain't gonna be like the others."
A/N: I created the Events Team as a way of providing a third source of conflict between Leslie and Ron, and the Parks department. There's nothing like heightened stakes! And hopefully they'll provide conflicts for everyone in more than just professional ways...