A/N: most of this chapter was written by Overmaster as a delaying tactic while I get more material done…
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Descendants of Negi: An Elseworld of 2814… Possibly. In A Hypertime Sort Of Way… Does Anyone Still Remember Hypertime?
by Shadow Crystal Mage
Chapter 4:
Disclaimer: Negima belongs to Akamatsu. I make no profit off thiskinIf you paid to see this, you've been had… AND I WANT MY CUT! Parody is protected speech.
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Illyria, Nasu and Nikuro sat in perfect, thoughtful silence in the bedroom they had been assigned to share, all three of them deeply submerged in complex plans and schemes to escape and carry their prior complex plans and schemes to guarantee their respective futures' safety.
Finally, Illyria reached up with a hand to scratch herself in the neck. "It's weird," she shared. "All of a sudden, I feel something's off."
"Other than our being all but prisoners along with several rival children from timelines conflicting with our own, you mean?" Nikuro asked.
"Yes, even other than that!"
Nasu spoke next. "That's easy to explain. It's because we have just entered a chapter written by someone else than our original author. Well, the original author of this fanfic, not those of our mothers' manga or Negima," she elaborated. "Going by the awkward grammar surrounding us and the unavoidable typos that hopefully will be fixed in proofreading, I'd say Over Master, alias Napoleon De Cheese, is writing us now."
Nikuro and Illyria gave her a rattled look. "What did you just say?" Illyria wanted to know.
"No doubt, the next two scenes will be devoted to pointless guest stars, most likely from Batman lore and Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei, although Mai Hime is also a possibility, especially if Over Master got confimation of Shadow Crystal Mage finally getting to know that series. Maybe they should make an agreement and say the latter will check Mai Hime just as the former finally watches Escaflowne."
"Oh my God, it's getting worse!" Illyria gaped.
"Escaflowne? The last thing we need is another crossover!" Nikuro covered her own mouth right after saying that. "Damn! It's contagious, too!"
Nasu smiled. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get back in character as soon as SCM retakes the reigns with the next chapter. But now, I think it's time to cut away to the first pointless cameo I was just mentioning..."
"I think I'll ask being relocated with the Chibi-Asu kid," Illyria grumbled.
...
Proving Nasu's words right, Itoshiki Nozomu was walking through the Mahora campus right then. Imagine, if you will, a hanged corpse in a Hakama and sandals stalking through the living world, cut-off rope still wrapped around his neck, hanging down in the breeze. Jet black hair waving aside with each step, briefcase stuffed with papers in a hand. Cadaverous and pale, with haunted eyes behind his glasses. And yet distinctively handsome, in an elegant, frail sort of way.
Then imagine a speeding miniature car coming out of nowhere and ramming into him from behind, sending him flying several fet up into the air.
The small yellow car screeched to a halt, barely missing a tree, and the thin 15 year old girl with short, spiky red hair driving it stood up frantically, running to the body as it hit the floor. "Ohmigosh! Ohmigosh! I've just killed a man! Now Daddy will never accept me! Q-Q-Quick, help me hide the body and let's never mention this again!"
A shorter, younger girl with dark skin, short black hair and glasses trailed after her, also exiting the car. "I told you this would happen someday, Rosette. You should let Chrono drive..."
"Hey, I'm the eldest sister, and as such, I'm the one who gets to drive!" the 'Rosette' girl crouched next to Itoshiki. "Hey, he's still alive! There's hope! Chrono, go look for Auntie Konoka! I'll give him mouth to mouth breathing!"
"I'm not sure that's the right sort of treatment to apply before we get to examine him mor—" the dark skinned girl objected, before her older sister cut her off angrily.
"Eldest sister calls the shots, remember?-!" Then she pushed her mouth closer to that of the motionless man... until his eyes snapped open, and he yelled in a way that shook all of Mahora.
"AAAAAAAHHH!-!-!-!-!"
A short boy with brown flesh and long reddish blond hair approached, sighing. "Wow, that was some excellent resuscitation, Rosette. You didn't even have to kiss him..."
"IT WASN'T GOING TO BE A KISS, CHRONO!" the older girl shouted.
Itoshiki shot himself back up to his feet. "What— What were you doing, driving around madly like that, with no concern for anyone else's lives! You could have killed me, or worse, someone who had been worth living! What would have you little delinquents done then, huh? WHAT IF I HAD DIED?-!" he yelled melodramatically.
"Haven't you just tried to hang yourself?" the dark skinned Loli pointed at the end of rope around his neck.
"Don't derail the conversation!" the teacher waved a finger at her. "What are your names, and who's your homeroom teacher? I'm going to have some serious words with him or her!"
"My homeroom teacher is one Itoshiki-Fujiyoshi Sentaro, but he isn't... available yet," the eldest sister of the trio replied. "Sorry 'bout that, but we were going fast because we need to reach our father quickly. He could be influenced by evil people if we don't hurry, you know. If you're a part of this Academy's staff, could you bring us to him?"
Nozomu's mind had cracked (again) after hearing 'Itoshiki-Fujiyoshi Sentaro'. "... WHAT?-!"
"I'm Kasuga Rosette Springfield!" the lead girl placed a hand on her own semi-flat chest. "And these are my half-siblings, Azmaria Springfield Fatima and Chrono Springfield-Shakti!"
"... No, what?-!" Itoshiki repeated.
"We're looking for our father, Negi Springfield!" Rosette continued.
Itoshiki looked back and forth between the trio, with very strange eyes. The fact they somehow looked like Expys of some manga characters was disturbing enough by itself, but that laughable if utterly creepy attempt of an explanation was even worse. "Let me see if I have understood this well. You claim being the children of Negi-sensei with three different females?"
All three youngsters nodded. Then Azmaria asked, "How did you survive that, by the way?"
"Don't derail the conversation again!" the teacher said, then pointed a finger at Rosette. "Is your mother named Kasuga Misora?"
Nod.
The finger now pointed at Azmaria. "Cocone Fatima Rosa-san?"
A second nod.
The finger, weakly, fell on the boy. "Sister Shakti, no other name known?"
A third nod.
"Will you help us, yes or no?" the older girl sounded annoyed. "We told you we're in a hurry!"
The teacher put his hands aside, grasping up for air in a theatrical pose, and screamed hysterically, "I'M IN DESPAIR! THE IMPOSSIBILITIES OF THIS SITUATION HAVE LEFT ME IN ABSOLUTE DESPAIR!"
Chrono snapped his fingers. "Oh, you're Itoshiki-sensei's dad...! I knew you looked familiar...!"
That did it, and the teacher fainted like a Victorian damsel.
There was a long pause.
"We still can hide the body and be on our way off, you know," Rosette suggested.
...
It was a perfectly normal, uneventful day for Zazie Rainyday, Mazoku student. She got up early, fed the birds, juggled some balls, talked with the spirits, saved the world twice in behind the scenes adventures no manga could ever portray properly, talked with Mother through the phone, juggled more balls, had lunch, fed the birds again, took a little time off to run the Nightmare Circus in a scene you'll never get to see, then went off to take a bath.
After stripping down and washing herself, she entered the warm water and relaxed, with a completely flat blissful lack of expression on her face. A bird flew in through a skylight and landed on her head, chirping. She didn't flinch.
The air warped, and a figure fell into the water, spluttering. Said figure flailed around helplessly before embarrassedly realizing the water was shallow enough to stand in, and did so, trying to pull their elaborate and now thoroughly soaked elegant gothic lolita dress into some semblance of order. She had long red hair, and her skin was pale in a vaguely hikkikomori-esque way. She looked around and froze when she saw Zazie, glaring at her suspiciously. Zazie just sat there serenely, and the girl turned and slowly began to wade out of the water.
Zazie didn't bat an eye during the whole incident. While the girl was walking out, however, she stood up from the water as well and, without bothering to cover herself, picked a pocket watch the girl had dropped, holding it out to her. "This is yours."
The girl blinked, startled, before flushing in embarrassment. "Thank you," she mumbled, and scuttled off, leaving a trail of water in her wake.
Zazie replied with a single nod, and only returned to the soothing water once the girl was gone. Her lack of expression continued being the same.
It was another perfectly normal, uneventful day for Zazie Rainyday.
...
Negi sat in perfect silence in the middle of the room he still shared with Konoka and Asuna.
He was, supposedly, reading from a very thick tome on the theories of time travel written by one Dr. Nichols from Gotham, to try and make any sense of what was happening all around him, but in truth, he seemed too stunned and out of it to actually assimilate the content of the pages he was examining. Every once in a while, he mutter something to himself, with a tiny strangled voice, matching Asuna's similar small incoherent babbles. His primary Pactio partner lay on her side on the upper bunk, face stubbornly against the wall.
Konoka was cooking dinner, humming pleasantly to herself and trying to be optimistic. Since she was Konoka, it was easy for her.
The phone rang. "I'll answe—" Konoka began, but Asuna, in a flash, jumped down from the bunk, literally raced over Negi, and grabbed the phone before Konoka could finish the sentence.
"Hello?-!" Asuna all but yelled.
Someone from the other end said something in a very loud, anguished tone. "Oh, hello, Itoshiki-sensei," Asuna's tone grew blander.
Konoka and Negi approached her eagerly.
"Yes, he's here," Asuna was saying now. "Yes, we'll go right now. No, I'm not that shocked. Yes, it happened before. No, I don't think it's you who should shoot yourself. Think of the mess! That isn't your floor! Oh. Okay. Yeah, we'll be there ASAP. Please stay alive in the meanwhile."
She hung. "It's Despair-sensei. He says he ran into your children by Misora, Cocone and Sister Shakti and took them to the church. Misora's having a panic attack, and Sister Shakti has started smoking again..."
Negi returned to making nonsensical sounds.
….
Nasu nodded. "Ah, there we are. We are now back to our regularly scheduled writer."
Arika, her new roommate, nodded. "That's nice," she said. "I don't believe a word of it, but that's nice. Just keep out of my way and I won't have to cut you."
"You can't kill me," Nasu said. "I have audience appeal! Mostly."
In her own more dungeon-like holding cell, rather than a converted room in one of the unused school buildings, Amaterasu sighed, glad they'd taken her away from her crazy half-sister. Honestly, that crazy bitch was a total pervert.
She began trying to escape.
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- To be continued...