Prompt: Jack teaches Shepard's kids the word "fuck"

"You're sure you're fine," Shepard repeated hesitantly. Damn formal functions, this one announcing the reopening of the quarian embassy (now cohabitated by the geth) with Tali as the new ambassador. As the human councilor now she and Kaidan were required to attend, and both Traynor and Chakwas were unavailable. That left her in an awful position.

With only Jack, Joker, and EDI to watch the twins.

Jack waved her hand. "We've got this shi—stuff."

"Yeah …" Shepard trailed off. "Just call me if you need me. Please. Just in case."

"We'll be fine," Joker said. Ashley already had his hat jammed on her head, curled up and trying to show him her favorite stuffed hanar.

Feeling only slightly better about leaving her children in the hands of three of her closest friends, she turned and left.

#

"She said what?" Shepard demanded again. The asari stared pointedly at her, and Ashley squirmed uncomfortably in her seat.

"So you know where she could have learned this?"

Shepard's eyes narrowed, her lips pursing into a narrow line as she brought up her omni-tool. "EDI?"

::Yes, Shepard.::

"Did Jack decide to use any unsavory language around the girls?"

EDI was silent for a while. ::Once, Shepard.::

Shepard sighed. "Tell her she's fired from sitting."

::I hope she won't kill us.::

"She'll be fine. Anyway, not my problem." She hung up. "I apologize. I'll make sure she doesn't do it again."

The asari nodded, and Shepard pulled Ashley to her feet.

"Come on," Shepard said as she led her out of the office. "I'm going to let your father deal with this."

#

Kaidan closed the door behind him, cracking his neck. That was why he didn't see the hand that jumped out of the living room arch, dragging him straight into the room. Ashley sat sulking on the couch, arms crossed and lip jutting out. Adelaide spotted him and ran over.

"What's wrong?" he looked between his wife and daughter as he swung Adelaide into his arms. She giggled as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"'Lee got in trouble," she tattled.

"Apparently," Shepard said, arms crossed very similarly to Ashley's. "Someoneused a certain word in school today."

"And what was that?"

Shepard leaned in and murmured it. Kaidan nodded. "That's what I thought."

"I need to you explain to her why that isn't a word we say," Shepard continued. "I tried to, and, well …" She motioned at the sulking child.

Kaidan lowered Adelaide to the ground. "Next time we should probably see if James and Cortez are free, and they can watch them with EDI."

"Or just not go to any more formal functions."

"Or that," Kaidan said with a short laugh, moving to kneel in front of his daughter. Shepard hunkered down next to Adelaide.

"Want to help mommy with dinner?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Mommy?"

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

"What does 'fuck' mean?"

Shepard nearly broke into tears as Kaidan retrieved her and dropped her on the couch next to her sister.

#

Shepard leaned on the counter heavily, glass of bourbon in hand. Kaidan planted his hands on either side of her, kissing her neck.

"Girls in bed?" she murmured, turning slightly to meet his lips.

"Yeah."

"I," she continued, ducking her head back towards the bourbon. "I am a horrible mother."

"No, you aren't." He wrapped his arms around her waist. "I agreed that Jack would probably be okay sitting, after all."

She sighed, lips curling into a small grin. "I am going to kill her."

Kaidan chuckled, lips rumbling against her neck. "You know what I think?"

"Hm?"

"You're the best mom on the Citadel."