July 27, 2286 A.D.
The Polish-Xernidian Border
Polish Calvary Command
"What the hell's going on, homey's!" Poland yelled as the first bombs started to shake the earth.
"I don't know, broski! But shit just hit the fan, yo." another crazy polish guy yelled from the helm of the Pony Tank, a giant tank shaped like a…why don't you figure it out.
Poland gritted his teeth. "This isn't lookin' good." Just after saying this however, Poland suddenly jumped up and clenched his fist in the most cliché way possible. "General…UNLEASH THE LASER PONIES!"
"The battle seems to be going well, my lady." the commander told Xernid. "We seem to have pinned them down in… WHAT IN GOD"S NAME IS THAT!" The commander yelled in fear.
The ensign at the helm began to reply. "Well sir, that is a window. Windows are very useful when you need to…"
"Chekov, you moron, I meant what the hell was OUTSIDE the window."
"Oh, that's just an army of ponies with lasers implanted in their heads coming to tear us limb from limb using their awesome Austin Powers reference."
"We're all going to die." the commander said, dejectedly.
"Fire, broskis!" Poland yelled over the roar of gunfire. Immediately, lasers shot from the ponies' heads as polish soldiers rode them into battle. Xernidian tanks exploded as iron-clad laser-ponies fired on them. Soon, the remaining Xernidian forces were forced to retreat…did I just make a pun?
Anyways, all the polish soldiers went to bars afterwards and got completely wasted. Unluckily for them, Xernid chose this moment to launch her counterattack.
Poland fell in about a minute.
Meanwhile, in North America…
"Those poles are crazy!" North yelled in exasperation when his secretary told him the news of Poland's defeat.
"I agree, sir." his secretary replied. "But we can probably win the war without them."
Suddenly, an exhausted looking man ran into the room. He stopped to catch his breath for a moment, then whispered some very important information into North's ear. North's eyes widened.
"Who the hell decided to stockpile all of our weapons in Poland!"
A/N: Anyways, I've decided that I'm going to try and replicate the short but funny episodes of the Hetalia anime in the form of small and hopefully funny chapters.
Peace,
TROTM