Chapter Four: Crazed For The Holidays

Inside the restrooms of the mall, Josh is changing inside one of the stalls. Steve enters the restroom and joins him in the stall. This catches Josh by surprise and terror. "Why are you in here?!"

"Oh, am I done following you?"

"Yes! Get out!"

Steve gets closer to Josh, angry. "Don't yell at me!"

"Sorry..." Josh stutters a bit, scared. "Please leave."

Steve opens the door and gets out. Josh locks the door as soon as Steve leaves the stall.

"Okay, so I have to go to the outskirts of Las Vegas to pick up my idiot brother." Josh changes out of the Santa suit in the stall as he talks. "This means, you get to be Santa for today."

"Me?" Steve asks, being filled with joy and cheer just thinking about being Santa for a day.

"Yes. I have no other choice. Here's the costume." Josh tosses it over the top of the stall for Steve. He looks for his clothes in the stall, only to realize that he forgot to grab them on the way in. "Oh great. That's just great! I forgot to grab my clothes!"

Crazy Steve raises a finger in the air, knowing what to do. "I have an idea!"

Moments later, the two emerge from the restroom. Steve is in the Santa Claus suit now and Josh is in the very small elf costume.

"I think it looks good on you. You make a cute elf." Steve pokes the ears.

"Thanks." Josh grinds his teeth a little. "I gotta go get Drake. Have Gavin take over the rope lifting and you do the Santa thing."

Steve starts to poke Josh's elf ears, entranced by them. "Okay."

Josh quickly knocks his hand away. "Don't screw it up, please? Helen will fire me if she realizes I gave you the suit. Remember--"

Steve starts to poke the ears again. "You're like a big Keebler Elf."

"Stop it!" Josh yanks the fake ears and hat off. "Helen doesn't know that I'm gone. So act like me if she comes by. Got it?"

Steve nods slowly, looking at the elf ears in Josh's hands. "Act spazzy, got it."

"Feelings..." Josh mutters more things under his breath and walks away to go to his car.

Steve smiles widely and heads back to the chair. Gavin has returned and is at the rope, ready to let kids pass. Steve sits down and adjusts his beard.

Gavin lets one kid on through to talk to Santa Steve. She sits on his lap and begins to tell him what she wants. "I want a pony for Christmas, Santa."

"Well, if you've been a good girl, then--"

He is quickly interrupted. "Are you really Santa?"

Steve almost snaps at this question. "What kind of question is that?! Yes I am!"

"But you're not fat like Santa is."

Steve blinks a few times then snaps on her. "I am Santa! I have been cutting back on the treats, okay?! So I'd appreciate it if you'd just tell me what you what instead of oogling at Santa's hot bod!"

The little girl begins to cry. Her mother runs in and picks her up off of Steve's lap to take her away. She slaps Steve hard in the cheek and walks away in a huff.

Gavin picks up the rope to let the next child past. "Next." He lets a little boy on through and puts the rope back on the hook.

The boy sits on Steve's lap and smiles. "Hi Santa!"

"Well hello, little boy. What do you want for Christmas?"

"I want a Dora the Explora action figure!"

Steve gasps. This is his favorite show as well, so naturally this gets him off of subject. "Me too! I love Dora! Except sometimes she doesn't know where she's going and asks me." Steve starts to flail his arms. "How am I supposed to know?! I'm not a explora!"

The boy looks around for a few seconds, not knowing what to do. "Santa?"

Steve looks at the boy and halts his rant. "What?!"

"I thought this was about me."

"I have feelings! Santa is a person too! Why does no one ask me what I want for Christmas?!" The boy hops off of Steve's lap and runs away. "Merry Christmas!" Steve waves at the boy running away and leans back in the chair.

Helen walks up to him, still thinking Josh is there. "Hey Drake's brother. How's it going over here? Steve scaring away any kids?"

"No," Steve does his best to imitate Josh, but is failing miserably. "Steven is being a good boy."

Helen looks over at Gavin, who just waves slowly. "Where is Steve anyway? Is he slacking off again?"

"He's...he's...." Steve cannot think of anything to say, so he of course resorts to screaming. "What I...he does is none of my business!"

"Okay, okay. Just tell him to stay by the rope until it's the end of his shift when he gets back...from wherever he is." Helen takes a quick look at Steve and walks away, wondering why 'Josh' yelled at her.

As the day passes, Steve talks to more and more kids and eventually scares each and every one of them away. But he did manage to find out what each kid wanted before they fled the mall. This is where all the other ordinary mall Santas would stop and wait until the next holiday season to do the same thing. But, Steve isn't ordinary...or an official mall Santa.

Coming Up in Chapter Five: Steve takes Christmas into his own hands! How you ask? Well, you'll just have to find out, now won't you?