DISCLAIMER: I don't own Card Captor Sakura because for the past week or so I've had a bad case of writer's block and have been sifting through ideas that take up so much of my time, I haven't been able to get anywhere near the copyrights.

Okay, before we begin, I have 2 things to address:

1. FORGIVE ME FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPDATE! WAH!

2. And, ahem. There's this wonderful, edgy, and zany authoress out there that I'm sure at least half of you haven't reviewed yet. She goes by Saba Butt and has written 3 stories of her own (like me! ) and would appreciate reviews on any of her stories; but just posted up a KxI one-shot only 3 days ago. Oh, and while you're there, take her poll, because the voter's feedback is just as important as the reader's!

Thanks, and on with Chapter 4!

Chapter 4

Sakura ran to her room, back tight against the wall. Peeking around the corner, she dodged a blue vase just in time to hear it shatter where her head had been. As dangerous as this newfound situation was, she had to suppress a giggle. Apparently, Toya and Kero-chan had found a real mouse. A swarm of them, actually.

"I'M GONNA GET YOU NO GOOD DIRTY ROTTEN PEA-EYED BLACK AND WHITE DEVILS!" Toya screamed.

And also, they had apparently eaten his cheese curl stash, Sakura saw as a white mouse with a black tail scampered by, his fur muddled with orange.

Uh-oh.

"GET. BACK. HERE!!"

Sakura ducked as low as she could and rolled out of her big brother's stomping feet before they, or his mallet, could smash her. Blowing a piece of hair away from her eyes, she sighed.

"And he calls me a monster."

He clobbered 12 steps into pancakes. And missed the mouse completely each time. How hard was it to hit one mouse when there were 80 of them? Not that she wanted him to, but it was just a thought.

Sakura closed her door lightly and leaned against it, her heard swarming with the thoughts that refused to be pushed aside. They were her thoughts. Why wouldn't they listen to her

Her fingers grazed her lips where they had met Syaoran's. There was nothing there now, but they felt warm under her touch. Like he was still right there. And the memories tugged and pulled, ripping open the wound that had passed onto her so long ago.

She breathed in sharply, and clutched her chest, doubling over.

Why was it still there? What was opening it again and again? Why wouldn't anything do what she wanted anymore? What had made everything she knew fall out of her control so fast? And…would it always be like this? Was it already set?

Sakura shook her head back and forth, as if throwing the painful thoughts that were holding onto her into the walls and desk. Anything that might make them lose hold.

But while she sucked in air and her head was ringing, she knew that it had done nothing. The thoughts and feelings crawled right in, latched themselves without hesitation in the strong chained bonds that connected them all. Sakura knew this, and it pained her as well. If she knew what these things were and how they worked, why couldn't she figure out the reverse? Why?

The girl turned out the light and everything was momentarily dark. Then she gained her vision and sank down, the soft comforter of her bed cradling her head like Syaoran used to.

Sakura didn't care about her wound anymore. It was infected, ragged, ripped to shreds, morbid, and fatal. If she could do nothing for it and there was no treatment, all she could do was accept it, hoping that it would fail to grow any larger.

All she could do was hope.

The rain had stopped a while ago, and the sun had warmed up the swings again. Syaoran was glad to see he wouldn't have to get wet again. Immediately, that is. It was inevitable that he'd be soaked once more sooner or later.

Meiling and the family were in Hong Kong. His mother had sold the house where they and Wei had lived in for what seemed like too short a time. Yelan was doing fine at home, running everything smoothly, even with his four sisters wailing over how much they missed their cute little Sakura-chan. Syaoran always had to leave the room then to keep from screaming.

So he had no place to go now, and nothing to do, but sit here and swing. He hoped it wouldn't be cold. Penguin Park was, oddly enough, open at all times, which made him quizzical as to why exactly, but at least he had something to do and…someplace to stay.

Hearing a growl of sorts, he looked up to see a giant swarm of mice running and scampering at full speed to God-knows-where. Syaoran chuckled weakly, thinking he heard one of them giggle wickedly.

"AND YOU BETTER STAY AWAY FROM MY CHEESE CURLS!"

Uh-oh.

Toya followed that pack of mice with his really huge mallet, as Syaoran saw. A shiver traveled through him, imagining what Toya said about "killing him if Sakura weren't right there". Well, she wasn't. Swiftly climbing to a higher perch on the thin rod that held the swings into place, he held his body erect; as still as a statue. But Toya saw him anyway.

"What are you doing here, you Chinese-gaki?" he shouldered the mallet, then seeing his expression, threw it into some bushes.

Syaoran's confidence returned. "I'm allowed to go where I want to!"

"But why would you want to go here?" he pressed.

The boy looked away.

"No place to go?" Toya guessed.

Syaoran bared his teeth and kicked off, landing in a perfect dismount among the coverage of the trees. Here, he cried silent trails. Why did being alone suddenly feel so crushing?

Toya sat down in the swing next to where he had been and rocked back and forth a little.

"Maybe I overreacted a little…" he began. He perked his ears up. Toya--reconsidering? "and it might not be so horrible if you came back and stayed with us. Nothing we've tried has worked. It's always the same." he continued softly, "She doesn't change an inch. Even a furious reaction out of her would be different. Lately…she's become more and more of a doll--beautiful and normal on the outside. But you can tell. Her eyes are dead. And eyes tell you what goes on inside people. So…somewhere along the line, she died. And maybe you can do something about it."

"She died, Syaoran. She used to be Sakura, but…some things can't be fixed in only two years."

Syaoran abandoned the security of the trees. Landing roughly, he stood up, wiped his eyes and said:

"I'll go. Maybe the living dead should choose what they really are."

Sakura came back downstairs after a while. Toya had left, and she had no idea when he'd be back. Kero-chan had stolen what was left of the stash and was pigging out of the sofa. The TV was on, but it was only on because it could be, not because it was "needed". It didn't show anything that mattered to Sakura. They were just hues and hues of colors that changed and shifted to the perspective of the one watching. All she saw was useless time being taken away from her.

She turned to go into the kitchen and clean up the mess she knew Toya and Kero-chan had made and stopped. Locking her green orbs with amber ones, she barely heard Toya drone out a message in the background.

"Syaoran will be staying with us and there's no changing it. So get used to seeing him around here, okay Sakura?"

Her breath hitched, fire coursed down her throat, and her stomach was coated in boiling acid. Her wound grew and grew until it consumed her and she smiled.

"I'll be happy to see you to your room, Syaoran."

Her eyes were cloudy and dead.

O.o Dun-dun-dunnnn! Hehe, I consider that a cliffhanger, my friends. And by the way, anyone read the Maximum Ride series by James Patterson? I just finished the 3rd and wanna read the 4th. I hear Nudge gets a new ability? And NEWS FLASH: There's going to be a MOVIE coming out 7/10/08. Anyone who knows what the heck I'm talking about, I'd love to have a conversation with you!

Aside from that, criticism is accepted. Constructive criticism is better though.

R&R, thank you!

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