Where the carriage pulled up outside of the school, and elderly man with a long beard and crescent glasses was waiting for them.
"Oh my God" Valkyrie muttered "It is Gandalf!" One of the prefects behind her giggled as Skulduggery got out of the carriage and helped Valkyrie down before he shook the man's hand.
"Detectives, welcome to Hogwarts." The man smiled a mysterious smile as his blue eyes twinkled behind his glasses. Valkyrie cocked her head to the side and observed him in silence. He was almost the spitting image of Gandalf.
"Detective Skulduggery Pleasant. This is my partner detective Valkyrie Cain."
"Oh course, I've heard so much about the both of you. I am Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster." He shook Valkyrie's hand as well. He had a firm handshake, but his fingers were wrinkly. Valkyrie didn't know if she liked that or not.
"Please, follow me. The feast is about to begin." He smiled, and Skulduggery nodded to Valkyrie, who smiled slightly back, before they began to follow.
As soon as they stepped foot into the corridor, Skulduggery stopped, and his face began to flicker.
"Problem, detective?" Albus asked. Skulduggery took off his hat and tapped the side of his head, frowning.
"I do believe my façade is malfunctioning." Skulduggery muttered after a few moments, and then he sighed.
"Seems I won't be keeping my façade for as long as I'd expected."
There goes your big entrance." Valkyrie smiled. Skulduggery muttered something inaudible, and Valkyrie smiled as he tapped his collar bone, letting the façade melt away and revealing the skull beneath. Dumbledore didn't seem the least bit fazed as Skulduggery put his hat back on his head.
"Shall we continue?" He smiled. Skulduggery nodded and Valkyrie bit her lip, trying not to grin as they resumed walking before entering a gigantic hall.
"Wow." Valkyrie breathed as she saw it, the ceiling was enchanted like the night sky, fire and gold, yellows and reds lining the walls. Absolutely beautiful.
"Will you be joining us as the head table, the other professors and myself."
"I don't think so, thank you headmaster. We'll stay here. Too many stares for one day." Skulduggery cocked his head to the side which meant he was smiling.
"There's also the matter of your titles. Will you wish to remain 'detectives' or will you take up the title 'professors'?"
"I think detective is fine, thank you. Valkyrie?"
"I prefer detective. No offence." Valkyrie smiled. Dumbledore smiled and nodded.
"None taken, detective. Professor McGonagall, the head of Gryffindor house and transfiguration lessons, will show you to your quarters and your classroom. She will also give you your timetables for the year."
"Thank you headmaster. We appreciate it." Skulduggery nodded. Albus smiled and nodded before he turned about to walk off down the middle of the hall, before he turned quickly again.
"You may want to move slightly. The students will come through those doors soon."
"Ah, thank you." Skulduggery said again, before the headmaster turned and walked down the hall, not stopping this time. Skulduggery and Valkyrie walked to the wall next to the doors, and leant back on it, Skulduggery folding his arms as he did so.
"What do you reckon, bigger than the Sanctuary?"
"Just a bit." Valkyrie muttered, pulling her hat even lower over her face.
"Mmm." Skulduggery said in agreement, pulling his own hat over his skull as he leant back.
"Impressive though." Valkyrie smiled from beneath her hat.
"Quite." Skulduggery agreed as more people started to come in. They were quite strange by Valkyrie's standards; one was a dwarf kind of man, another a very old man, and another a dark haired man who didn't look as if he ever shower. Valkyrie mentally cringed, but kept a straight face as a woman wearing all pink shuffled in, smiling. Valkyrie could tell, the woman liked pink, and was probably going to be annoying. The woman sat before Dumbledore took his own seat at the middle of the table and the doors were opened. Skulduggery tilted his head towards it slightly as noise filled the room and students began to pile in, all heading to separate tables. Valkyrie guessed they were the house tables. From what she could see, the greens were sitting at one on the far left, towards were they were standing, the red and yellow ties next along on the right, then blue and then yellow. She saw the prefects that had shared their carriage in the crowd, but didn't acknowledge them.
After a few minutes everyone was seated, still chattering away until the doors were closed, while a stool with a brown rag was placed at the front, and then dramatically opened again to allow an old woman wearing what Valkyrie thought would be a witches Halloween costume, strode into the room, a file of small people behind her who were 'ooo'-ing and 'ahh'-ing.
Valkyrie watched with interest as the rag san a song, and then one by one the old woman called out a name, and a small person would walk up, sit on the stood and have the rag (Valkyrie later figured out it was actually an old hat) on top of their heads. After a few moments, the hat would yell something; either 'Hufflepuff', 'Ravenclaw' Slytherin' or 'Gryffindor'. After a while of watching them all, Valkyrie thought she finally knew which house was which. She smiled proudly at herself for a moment before returning to the blank neutral look that she fought to keep on her face. It was alright for Skulduggery, he only had a skull, didn't need to focus to keep his face the same, Valkyrie had it much harder to try to remain anonymous and mysterious, as she desperately wanted to. Almost everyone in Ireland knew who she was, the assistant to the famous Skulduggery Pleasant, but no one here knew.
After a while the file of students went down to none, the feast began, and Vlakyrie felt her stomach rumble slightly.
"You can join in if you want." Skulduggery whispered to her, not moving from his spot.
"And leave you here to look all mysterious by yourself, I don't think so." She muttered back, causing his to cock his head slightly – he was smiling. The woman removed the stool and sat down at the table, joining in the feast. After a little while, the first course was evidently over. Then Dumbledore stood.
"Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start of term notices." Dumbledore's voice boomed out across the hall, even tough he was just talking normally, if only a slight bit louder. "First-years ought to know that the Forest in the grounds is out of bounds to students – and a few of our older ought to know by now too. Mr Filch the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four hundred and sixty second time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr Filch's office door." He paused for a moment before continuing. "We have had three changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank" Valkyrie smirked "who will be taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons. We are also delighted to introduce Umbridge, our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. And finally, we have Detective Skulduggery Pleasant and Detective Valkyrie Cain, who will hereby be taking a new subject that is compulsory for years 4 to 7: the lesson of Hand to Hand Combat and Defence." Valkyrie smiled slightly. That lesson sounded good, and she'd be helping to teach it, her! The students heads began to move, looking up and down the table for two new people, but didn't see them. Dumbledore smiled slightly before gesturing to the back, and all heads turned towards them. Valkyrie tried her best to remain still – she hated attention. After a moment or two, people began to unenthusiastically clap, before the heads turned back around the Dumbledore, and he continued talking.
"Tryouts for the house Quidditch teams will take place on the –"
"Hem hem" A polite little voice interrupted him, and he turned, as did every head in the room. The pink lady (Valkyrie decided to call her 'the pink blob') had stood up, and slowly began to walk around the table towards the front. People began muttered, and Valkyrie suddenly understood that this was not normal. Dumbledore smiled at her, and sat nonetheless.
"Thank you, headmaster for those kind words of welcome. Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say, and to see such happy little faces looking up at me. I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all and I'm sure we'll be very good friends!" Valkyrie decided that if this woman wanted to be her friend, then she'd have to ditch the pink and ditch the fake-ness, but that was obviously never going to happen, so Valkyrie decided instead, that she didn't like this pink blob, and would be very much looking forward to annoying her for the year. The pink blob 'hem-hem'-ed again, and when she spoke again it was much firmer, with a business tone more than anything.
"The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the wizarding community must be passed down the generations lest we lose them for ever. The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching." At this, the pink blob 'hem-hem'-ed again, and did a little bow to the teachers, none of which returned it. Valkyrie didn't like it that the pink blob was basically saying witches and wizards were the only magic users out there, that no one else was of any worth.
"Every headmaster and headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress for progress's sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering. A balance then, between old and new. Between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation, because some changed will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognised as errors of judgement. Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practises that ought to be prohibited." At last the pink blob sat down, and people began to half heartedly clap.
"That speech was even worse than yours." Valkyrie whispered.
"Are you implying I'm no good at making speeches, detective Cain?"
"You're better than her, that's what I'm implying." Valkyrie muttered, feeling the fifteen minutes of her life ebb away out of the hall. Dumbledore stood again, and Valkyrie began paying attention again.
"Thank you very much, Professor Umbridge, that was most illuminating. Now as I was saying, Quidditch tryouts will be held on the…"
"Illuminating? More like terminating. I felt like I just died." Valkyrie muttered.
"Well, I am already dead so I wouldn't say I felt that, but it was most boring."
"She has no respect for the Sanctuary, does she?" Valkyrie muttered, flexing her fingers.
"I doubt she knows anything about it. Watch out for that Val, she'll try to weasel information out of you."
"Good, I love punching weasels." Valkyrie muttered, which made Skulduggery chuckle. Dumbledore finished his speech, and then waved a hand, dismissing everyone. Some people stood, ordering a few of the others around calling 'first years' over and over.
"Shall we, detective Cain?"
"I think we shall Detective Pleasant." Valkyrie grinned up at him, and he cocked his head to the side – he was smiling again. Valkyrie saw the old woman looked at her, and she nodded obviously. The old woman nodded back and began to move away from the table.
Skulduggery walked out of the hall first, standing to the side, out of the way. Valkyrie waited beside him and wondered if anyone had actually seen his face yet. It didn't appear so. No one had screamed yet, or fainted (like she had the first time they met), or even exclaimed or called out to their friends. How oblivious they all were. Had Valkyrie been that oblivious back when she'd been young innocent Stephanie? She hoped not.
Students began to file out, and both Skulduggery and Valkyrie kept their heads low, before the old lady emerged from the crowd.
"Ah detectives" The woman smiled. Skulduggery looked up at her almost automatically and she exclaimed.
"Oh my word!" She yelped, causing a few people to stop and stare at her, which caused them to scream or yelp too at the sight of Skulduggery.
"I do apologise. My façade stopped working a little while earlier." He tipped his hat to her, and after a moment of looking him up and down, she composed herself.
"You know, I think they notice you now." Valkyrie grinned, taking off her hat. Skulduggery chuckled.
"Yes, I do believe you're right."
"Aren't I always?"
"Should I answer that?"
"Probably not." Valkyrie still grinned. For some reason she was feeling happy. Maybe it was the astonishment on everyone's faces, or maybe it was the fact that they'd have to get used to seeing a living skeleton every day for a whole school year.
"Shall we?" Skulduggery gestured, and the lady nodded quickly, striding down the corridor. Valkyrie giggled and looked at Skulduggery, who tilted his head at her, before they followed her, striding along the corridors lined with armour and moving paintings, some of which screamed as they passed.
"I'm Minerva McGonagall." The woman introduced herself as she tapped the wall in 3 different places. A door appeared and she walked through it. Skulduggery and Valkyrie followed into a long corridor, lined with doors on either side.
"We were informed you worked together often, so we made the rooms connected." She said, opening one door.
"Detective Pleasant." She said, stuttering slightly. Skulduggery tipped his hat to her.
"Thank you." He said politely. McGonagall nodded back quickly and turned, walking to the door directly next.
"Detective Cain." She said, opening the door. Valkyrie smiled at her and looked inside.
"Oh wow." Valkyrie breathed. The walls were red and gold, a four poster bed inside with creamy white sheets and a cream desk to the left.
"It's lovely." She breathed, stepping inside.
"You don't look older than our students." McGonagall commented. Valkyrie smiled as she turned to her.
"I probably not." She grinned "I'm 17 and a half."
"Good gracious. A detective at such a young age."
"I've been working with Skulduggery since I was, oh about 13. He saved my life." She smiled. "That pink blob had a lot of pointless things to say didn't she." Valkyrie grinned mischievously as McGonagall took a deep breath in.
"That, my dear, is the understatement of the century." Valkyrie laughed as McGonagall gave her a piece of rough paper.
"What's this?" Valkyrie asked, looking at it.
"Your timetable. Actually there's two of them, one for you and one for Detective…Pleasant. There's a map on the back as well. Your classroom is on the first floor." McGonagall seemed to be having trouble with Skulduggery's name. She must still be shaken, but if she was, Valkyrie admired her acting skills.
"Thanks." Valkyrie smiled, and McGonagall smiled slightly before turning and walking away. Valkyrie grinned and closed the door, looking at the timetable. They were teaching second, third and fifth lessons on the Monday (tomorrow), and again on the first, second and fourth lessons on the Tuesday. The Wednesday had lessons third, fourth and fifth, and the Thursday and Friday pretty much all day. 'Cool' Valkyrie thought 'I wonder what teaching will be like. Fun I hope,' Valkyrie smiled and put the paper on the desk, to see that her suitcase was sitting neatly beside it. Well, that would change soon enough.