Deadpool…. Boredom creates comedy!

Part 4 of…. Well there isn't an actual number yet.

OK on this chapter I am not going to do a previously on Deadpool…. Boredom creates comedy bit because seriously we are on chapter 4 and there really isn't that much to read up until this point. And if you don't know what has been happening until this point then you really should go back and catch up. Like come on get your head out of your asses. Also in the last chapter I made a reference to X-Men Legends 2 Rise of Apocalypse were I stated that I should have been in that game and after a quick Google search I realised I was an unlockable character but I mean a actual character from the start. So if anyone was going to comment on that fact I beat you to it so there nerds! DEADPOOL 1 – NERDS 0. By the way if you are a nerd and you are a fan of mine I take back what I said because you geeky bastards are my main fan base and so I get most of my money from you.

"What have you all got against Russian roulette? You all aren't racist or against communism are you guys?" I asked shocked that everyone was against my idea of a little game of one shot Russian roulette.

"Are you crazy! Somebody could get seriously hurt!" Mr. Fantastic roared at the of his elasticised lungs.

"Oh so we are back at the crazy thing now are we! You my good sir are a terrible host! There isn't even any hot super hero chicks here! And furthermore none of us would get hurt if we played Russian roulette as I have thought something through for once in my 18 year long comic book life since my first appearance in 1991! So take that Mr. So-Called-Fantastic!" I cleverly replied whilst holding a 19 century smoking pipe and wearing a top hat with a very stylish matching tuxedo.

"Ok what the hell are you talking about and how the hell did you get all that stuff?" Richards asked me.

"To answer the first part of your question none of us will get hurt because firstly I and wolverine over there have insane healing factors so we'll be fine. Spiderman has his spidey senses and quick reflexes can help him dodge a bullet like he has done so many times before. Iron Mans suit, Captain Americas shield and the Things skin is all bullet proof. The Human Torch and Cyclops can both melt and destroy the bullet before it hits them. Strange can transport the bullet to another dimension. And the Beast's reflexes can help him to dodge the bullet as well. And Thor is a god so he can just blow it away. So there in your face! Deadpool wins! And boom goes the dynamite!" I then did a victory dance in celebration of me!

"Ok that is all good but still were did you get all that stuff?" Richards said looking more confused by my awesomely well thought out and well executed answer.

"Well to answer that question we all must fist join hands and run around naked and…"

"Just get to the point bub!" Logan told me threateningly whilst extending his long sharp and pointy adamantium claws to my cancer invested throat.

"Okay, okay… I got all this stuff off eBay bitches with Iron Man's credit card details."

"Hey, what the hell man!" Iron Man shouted at me.

"Oh geez, as if you would notice a few hundred dollars missing from you're bank account. You a billionaire for f*#k shake you big baby. And now to get back to the question at hand how I got all these things on so quickly without any of you noticing is because I am fictional and therefore the laws of physics and the rest of that there boring science stuff doesn't apply to me."

"What do you mean fictional?"

"That's it screw you guys… like what the hell does a guy have to do become non-fictional to be taken serious around here. I'm leaving and there is nothing you can do to stop me! I'm going home and do what I do every night… download Harley Quinn porn!" And with that I got up and left the Baxter building.

As I was walking down the street alone I began to think that none of the other heroes respected me. Which they should because I'm the greatest thing to come out of Canada since the wonder bra… and also Michael J. Fox of course. And the Canadian heart throb who was able to make a honest woman out of me… Ryan Reynolds (even if he cheated we me briefly with that slut Hal Jordan from the Green Lantern Corps…. He is such a home wrecker!)

"I got to do something big so that they will respect me."

"Aw no way dude you shouldn't. They are all just threatened by your awesomeness."

"You're right yellow inner monologue. And can I ask you just one more question?"

"Sure go ahead buddy."

"Why are you italics and not yellow?"

"Cause our author a certain Mr. PJ-Harper is to damn lazy to change to yellow and it isn't in the budget. So from here on out you should call me your italic inner monologue."

"OK that makes sense I guess… Hey wait does that mean the italics from previous chapters were you all along?"

"I dunno maybe… I don't think even PJ-Harper knew back then if I was going to enter the story… and do you really care?"

"No… but I thought I would make it clear for our readers. After all without our fans what would we do?"

"Who gives a f*#k about the fans… That's right you read me correctly I don't care about you sad, sad people who I suspect read this because they can't get laid to save their lives. Hmm? Am I correct? Your kind makes me sick."

I was taken aback by this statement as I actually quite like you guys and thought I should try to defend you as not all of us here at Deadpool…. Boredom creates comedy! don't share these opinions, "Jeez that's a little harsh isn't it italic inner monologue?"

"Heh… whatever I'm going to go and smoke some weed so see you later you prick!"

"Well… um… you're the prick." God I wish I had a better comeback line than that. I always thought he was jealous of me being in the spotlight.

Well readers I think I'm leave here for this chapter cause I have to go and get some seriously high in fat ice cream to drown my sorrows in.

Then in the distance I heard I bitching explosion… it kind of sounded like KA-BOOM! And so I thought it would be awesome if I went and investigated it.

I must have ran for a good half hour before I reached the origin of the explosion.

"What the F*#k do you mean you ran! You started to run and then you got distracted by that hooker for 25 minutes and then you got a cab to here. You're such a liar."

"I am not a liar I was just twisted the truth to make the story more dramatic for the readers. And weren't you away smoking weed?"

"I forgot I smoked it all… I'm so high right now it's awesome… Hey did you see that unicorn! Its horn was so shiny!"

Crap… Sorry readers but I got to go and leave italic inner monologue at the hospital because I think he bout to O.D. so I'm going to have to leave you here and leave you in wonder of what caused the explosion. So see you next time true believers!