My face was beet red when my hand was in his, as Phil led me down the busy streets. This unfamiliar area he told me he'd walked a thousand times before, and told me to take everything in and remember. It was incredibly difficult to focus when I was feeling little sparks fly between our touching palms, up my arm and about to head straight down to my
"You're jailbait, kid, I'm not gonna sleep with you anymore."
I blanched, wondering if he was a mind reader or something, and feeling guilty for thinking impurely about someone I knew so little. I hadn't realized we'd stopped walking until the shock wore off, and it wasn't until even after that that I realized Phil was talking to someone else: a boy maybe a little younger than myself, with dark curly hair and green eyes.
The boy tutted and smirked; "You've changed, Kitty." He hooked his fingers into the collar of Phil's t-shirt and pushed him up against a wall. Phil squeezed my hand a little but seemed to be enjoying what was happening. I watched as the boy's lips traveled down my friend's neck. My first instinct was to give them a minute of privacy, but my hand was still held tight and I wouldn't pry it loose. Honestly, I didn't want to step away. Something I couldn't quite place was boiling in the pit of my stomach, and I was left scowling at the two of them, waiting for them to break apart so we –me and Phil— could move along.
I couldn't imagine they were actually trying to keep quiet as I could hear their whispers.
"You used to let me fuck you at least once a week. I was your favorite cus—"
"And then you weren't legal for me anymore." Phil was starting to try to get out of there, but the kid wasn't letting up.
"That never stopped you before, Kitten," he whispered a bit more quietly into his ear. I still heard it, though.
"I'm not taking any chances, babe. You gotta let it go now." He pushed him away, and this time the kid didn't try to keep him longer. Phil only gave him one last look before tugging me along down the street, walking briskly and acting like nothing had happened. And I tried to pretend it hadn't.
We ended up very deliberately at the park. Phil kept dragging me along until we came to a little alcove in amongst the dense trees, a sort of a cave between some boulders. He let go of my hand and wiped the sweat on his jeans, dropping down into the gap.
"It's safe to come and sleep here after dark. The tunnels, too, and anywhere else you can stay hidden well. But you gotta be out before sunup, because the rangers come and snoop around, and they'll chase you out. Sometimes they get the police involved and you might be arrested if you're not quick enough. It's not often, but don't run the risk." He laid down a minute on the soft dirt between the rocks. I squatted a little, hands on my thighs as I watched him from the top of one of the boulders.
"Are we sleeping in the park tonight?" I asked, wondering if there would be enough room for the two of us there.
"No, we've got somewhere else tonight." He climbed back up and took my hand again, pulling me back to the edge of the park and out onto the sidewalk, where we started walking south.
"Where?" I asked at last.
"There's a motel room waiting for us."
I bit my lip. "Are there two beds, at least?" I asked nervously.
He laughed shortly. "Yeah, two beds, and about five or six of us in the room."
We stopped outside the door, and Phil turned to me, face stern and voice quiet. "Remember: watch your mouth, and don't take anything anyone offers you unless I say it's okay. Stay right with me. I'll introduce you to everyone, and then I'm gonna have to step out for a minute" –the thought of being left alone now made me shake— "but I'll be right back, I promise. Later on a tall guy with short hair and a shorter beard is gonna come soon; don't talk to him. He'll try to question why you're here, but just let me do the talking."
I nodded shakily. "O-Okay."
He smiled and squeezed my hand tight. "You'll be fine, don't worry." He unlocked and opened the door, and I followed him in.
Phil was right; there were at least four others to share the room with, all young and reasonably attractive women. Two of them I kind of assumed might've been the ones I saw being thrown from the Monroe Motel so long ago, but I wouldn't be able to tell which –none of them really looked like those girls, as my memory served me.
They all hugged Phil and he started introducing me around: "Sunny," a fresh-faced blonde; "Shiba," a brooding, slightly older woman; "Angel," a smiling pigtailed brunette; and "Bijou," who didn't speak much English. "Everyone, this is Dan." He gestured to me at last, and I waved nervously. "He's gonna stay with us for a while."
"I thought Daddy didn't need any boys but you, Kitten," Sunny chirped, smiling at me and making me look down at the ground. Phil was quick to argue it.
"It's not like that. Dan's parents kicked him out and he has nowhere to stay, so I'm letting him live here with us."
"Daddy's not gonna like it."
"I'll talk him into it, don't worry." He gestured to the bed toward the back. "Go sit down, Dan, I'll just be a minute." I sat down, and before he left he warned the circle of young women to make me feel welcome.
The second he was out the door, the ring of girls moved from their circle around nothing on the floor to circling around me on the bed. They asked loads of questions but they all melted into one another and I couldn't bring myself to answer any, except for why my parents had kicked me out. "Because I'm gay," I stated, and left it at that. I curled in on myself, legs brought up to my chest and face buried in my knees.
Phil returned a little while later and shooed the girls away from me. "Hey. I got you a blanket and pillow to sleep on the floor." He pointed to a small slot between the bed and the wall, where I would be sleeping, apparently. "I mean, you can sleep in the bed for a little while, but you'll have to be out before three in the morning." He arranged everything in the little space, and came up to sit next to me. "You alright?"
I nodded. "Still a bit shaken, I guess," I whispered, knowing the girls would be out of earshot. "It's still kinda sinking in."
He winced sympathetically and rubbed my shoulder. "It'll be alright, okay? I promise."
I nodded, smiling, thankful.
"Daddy's coming," Angel warned from the window.
Phil nodded and got up off the bed. He must've noticed how I was trembling. "It's okay, Dan, don't worry."
"He's not gonna be happy!" Shiba smirked, relaxing on the other bed. "You're gonna get it for this."
Phil huffed, frustrated. "And whatever he gives I'll take it. But I know how to work him, don't worry."
"You think you're so in control…"
It was that moment that the doorknob jiggled and turned, and the door opened to reveal the man Phil had warned me about, had warned me not to answer to. He came in, closing the door behind him and grunting a general greeting. Phil shielded me a bit, so maybe the man hadn't seen me yet. The man –the man they'd been calling "Daddy"— kissed all the girls on the cheeks, and then-.. he might have kissed Phil on the cheek, I didn't quite see it –but it looked like it was his mouth.
The man saw me over Phil's shoulder. "Who's this?" he asked, voice hard and eyes harder.
"A friend. He's gonna stay here, as long as I'm here."
The man glared and sent the girls and myself from the room. I almost wanted to protest, worried for Phil, but was too scared to go against it. Phil could definitely hold his own, and I wouldn't be much help to him against this brute.
Star, Shiba, Angel, Bijou, and I all stood out in the freezing cold. I seemed to be the only one affected by the weather, but even I had to try to ignore it. I was standing closest to the door, and tried to subtly eavesdrop on the conversation inside. "Daddy" sounded angry, but Phil stood his ground –for me.
"What the fuck were you thinking?" – "He's my friend, and he has nowhere to go." – "Why are you so soft to him?" – "Because he helped me out a while back, when I started working for you. And then he tried again when you first threw me out. Now he's been kicked out by his parents, and has nowhere to go, and he's way too soft for street life on his own." – "Is he gonna work?" - "I'll work for him." – A pause. "You're gonna do double or more, for this piece of shit?" – "Damn right." – He laughed. "Alright, then!" A few soft thuds, like he was patting Phil on the shoulder, and then a shout: "Come back in now, all of ya!"
When we got back inside, I wanted to ask Phil what had happened. He just gave me a smile and told me everything was settled, and that I could stay as long as I needed, as long as he was around. I sensed a bit of tension that I didn't want to break, and didn't ask any more questions.
At about ten, Phil and the man and the girls all left for a while, leaving me alone in the dirty motel room. I tucked myself into the slot made up for me, and fell asleep.
I was awoken again much later, at maybe three-thirty. I peeked around the bed and watched the two older women –Shiba and Bijou— get into the other bed and Angel and Star get ready to sleep on the floor. The bed next to me creaked, and I carefully looked over the mattress to see Phil and the man getting in, Phil on the side closest to me. The man looked tired but happy, and Phil and the girls all just looked incredibly tired.
The lights went out and I assumed everyone was quickly asleep.
By now it was obvious to me that these were a pimp and his girls –and boy. Phil was a prostitute. The thought left a bitter taste in my mouth. I had to figure that this was the reality of living on the streets; no money, no work and nothing to sell but your body. Phil was having sex with strangers for money, and probably for very little money, at that. Did this change what I thought about him, though?
Well… In a way, it kind of did. I had a new perspective on his life that I hadn't had before. And I was raised in a very religious household, was taught that casual or premarital sex was a sin –not that I believed that. But still, the thought kind of confused me, and my brain hurt too much now to go to sleep.
A familiar hand silently made its way over the edge of the mattress. At first I just let it hang, but then it tensed, as if trying to get my attention if I was awake –which I was. I smiled a little in the darkness, and took the hand in mine. The warmth and tenderness soon put me to sleep.