AN: later on in this chapter there's a reference to an earlier Tony/Celeste story 'May the force be with you …' I don't think it matters if you haven't read that story – you'll get the gist – but I thought I'd warn you.

McGee was off work for three days, finally managing a somewhat wan return on Friday. Fortunately the diagnosis was food poisoning rather than onset of dairy intolerance but Ducky advised that it would be best to re-introduce milk products gradually so that the McSystem could adjust itself.

Tim found himself with a dilemma. He had experienced the consequences of telling an untruth to Celeste and now he wondered if he should tell her that he had turned down his friend Chris Mason's request to be a friend to 'Frances' on her move to DC. Tim knew he hadn't told her any lies on this occasion but he wondered if there was some sort of karma attached to not being completely honest with her.

When he was well he believed such thoughts had only surfaced at the times when he had been unable to leave the clinical comfort of his bathroom. As a logical, scientific sort of person he couldn't see that there was retribution lurking for not being completely open with Celeste. And, he reasoned, Tony seemed to be disgustingly happy and healthy and as he couldn't believe that Tony was a completely open book with his girlfriend there couldn't be automatic karma if one was less than honest with Celeste.

In any case, Tim couldn't think how to broach the subject or what he hoped the outcome would be. Was part of him hoping that Celeste would breathe a sigh of relief and fall into the arms of the person destined to be her true love? Yes, if Tim was honest, he did nurture a hope that, at some point, Celeste's eyes would be opened and she would turn to him. He couldn't quite work out, however, what the fallout from that would be. He suspected that Tony would be deeply hurt if Celeste ditched him and that hurt would go still deeper if the replacement beau was none other than his co-worker.

On the whole, Tim decided that it would be best to let this particular sleeping dog lie. It may well be that his decision was influenced by awareness that Celeste seemed to take a keen interest in the digestions of those around her. He had experienced some of that when she focussed on his 'dairy intolerance' but Tony was her real interest and he had ended up adopting a much healthier diet since he met Celeste. McGee was all for healthy living but thought he lacked Celeste's enthusiasm. He had to admit, however, that Tony was looking good on it and Ducky had been delighted at the lower cholesterol readings that had come back at his last physical.

As Tim approached his desk on the day of his return to work he spotted a plastic food container waiting there. He looked at it suspiciously, peering through the side to try and see what it was.

"It's Celeste's idea," said Tony, "it's meant to be good for people recovering from … from … well, what you've just had."

"What is it?" asked McGee

"Some boiled potato and some saltine crackers," she reckons it should settle your stomach and other McBits."

"Great," said McGee unenthusiastically although now convinced he had made the right decision about being honest with Celeste. He wasn't sure that union with one of the most beautiful women he had ever met was worth a lifetime of dietary discipline.

"Hey," said Tony in a hurt voice, "Celeste went to a lot of trouble with that."

"It's boiled potatoes and crackers," said McGee, "not exactly cordon bleu cooking." Then he realised that was less than grateful, "sorry," he said, "please tell her I'm very grateful for her cooking for me."

"That's all right," said Tony in a mollified voice, "actually she gave me a whole list of suggestions but boiled potato and saltines were the only things I remembered."

"You made me boiled potato?" asked McGee.

"Oh, that's so cute," said Abby arriving to welcome McGee back.

"Got to get the McBody back in shape," said Tony, "well, in as much shape as it will go. Which may not be much but every little helps."

"Thanks, Tony. I think," said Tim. He opened the food box, "I like my potatoes mashed," he said, "but these are whole."

"Oh, Tim," said Tony, "mashed potato is made with butter and cream. Butter and cream are dairy products. Now, Timmy, tell Uncle Tony … what aren't you allowed to eat yet?"

"Dairy products," said Tim a little sulkily.

"You're welcome," said Tony.

NCISNCIS

Two weeks later McGee's digestion was back to normal and he decided to invite Tony and Celeste out for a meal as a way of thanking Tony for his diligence in providing dull, dairy free food for several days. He booked a table for four expecting that Abby would come too but, at the last minute, she had to cancel as the nuns were one short for their semi-final bowling match against the Silver Springs Sisters of Succour.

Celeste and Tim were sitting at their table in Tim's favourite Georgetown restaurant waiting for Tony to return from taking a phone call from Gibbs who wanted to know who had thrown out his two day old take out.

"So, your stomach is completely better now, Tim?" asked Celeste solicitously.

"Yes," said Tim firmly before she could make his meal choices for him.

"Because I'm sure they would make you something bland if you wanted."

"Celeste," said Tim, "I don't want to see another boiled potato, saltine or bowl of rice for … well, for a very long time."

"I understand," said Celeste, "but perhaps you could have apple sauce instead."

Tim was about to answer a little crossly when he saw that she had a twinkle in her eye. "No. Thank you," he said, turning somewhat ostentatiously to the deluxe section of the menu where rich and creamy items were listed. Celeste smiled and turned to the serious job of making her selection.

They were both engrossed in the menu so didn't notice someone approach their table until they heard a voice say,

"Tim, Fran! What a coincidence bumping into you."

Celeste looked up with delight as she saw her friend from M.I.T. Tim felt his heart sink as he recognised his friend from M.I.T.: Chris Mason who had asked him to look out for his friend Frances Jones.

Celeste jumped up and threw her arms round Chris,

"What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming till next week?"

"Had to bring the trip forward," said Chris, "didn't have time to tell you. I'm staying in Georgetown and I've been to this place before so thought I'd try it again."

"Chris, this is Tim McGee," said Celeste. "Tim, this is Chris Mason, a good friend from Cambridge."

Chris opened his mouth to say something but Celeste swept on, "why don't you join us? We had a table booked for four but our friend had to drop out."

Chris was puzzled by Tim's urgent shake of the head but before he could say anything, Tony returned from talking to Gibbs.

"Tony, this is Chris Mason," said Celeste, "Chris, may I introduce Tony DiNozzo, my …"

"I know that name," said Chris, "you're one of Tim's co-workers aren't you?"

"Chris is going to join us," said Celeste, "it's so nice to see him. You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not," said Tony politely but trying to work out what was wrong about the dynamics of the table.

"So, Tim," said Chris, "you've been a bit of a dark horse, eh?"

Tim mumbled something incoherent and willed his cell to ring. He didn't want anyone to be murdered but a missing petty officer would be perfect right now. He thought rather bitterly about the number of dinner engagements which had been unwelcomely interrupted by a call from Gibbs; where, he wondered, was the demanding call from El Gruffo when you wanted one?

"Fran told me that she was dating a federal agent," went on Chris blithely, "but she didn't tell me it was you."

"What?" said Tony in alarm.

"What?" said Celeste.

"I'm going to have the Maryland Blue Crab Risotto to start with," Tim announced, "and the Bison Strip Loin to follow. What do you want? We should order quickly before the rush starts."

"Whoa, back up there, McSpeedy," said Tony, "what's this about you dating Celeste?"

"You dog," said Chris with a hint of admiration in his voice, "you're dating two women?"

"No-oh," said McGee, "if you all choose what you're going to eat, we could select the wine as well. How about a Cabernet Sauvignon, or perhaps a Chardonnay?"

"Why do you think I'm dating Tim?" asked Celeste ignoring McGee's menu suggestions.

"And why do you think Tim's cheating on Celeste?" asked Tony.

"Well, I think I'm going to go mad and choose dessert now as well," said McGee desperately. Celeste and Tony glared at him and Tony plucked the menu out of his hands, "Um, I think I'm just going to use the bathroom."

Tim got up to go but Tony was quicker than him and put a hand on his shoulder to push him back in his seat. "Later, McRomeo," he said threateningly.

Chris Mason was a quantum physicist and considered to be one of the brightest minds of his generation but he found himself floundering. Finally he fastened on one question, "Who's Celeste?"

"Me," said Celeste a little relieved herself to be able to answer a question.

"I thought your name was Frances," said Chris, faint but pursuing.

"It is," said Celeste, "Celeste is my middle name. I used it when I did some modelling when I was a student. I told Tony and he liked it."

"Not being rude, but why does it matter that Tony liked it?" asked Chris, "You're going out with Tim aren't you?"

"No," said Celeste and Tony together.

"I really need to go to the bathroom," said Tim, "why don't you finish this discussion while I'm gone?"

For answer, Tony put his hand back on Tim's shoulder and pressed down.

"Why would you think I'm dating Tim?" asked Celeste.

"Because I set you up with him," answered Chris.

"You did date McGee?" asked Tony in a hurt voice.

"No, darling," said Celeste, "the first time I met him was in the Emergency Room after you'd been attacked by Darth Vader."

"Tony was attacked by Darth Vader?" asked Chris.

"And Chewbacca," said Tony, "but that's not important now."

"Wow," said Chris, "Fran, you were right when you said you wanted to come to Washington for some excitement."

"It wasn't really Darth Vader and Chewbacca," said Tim wanting to be accurate, "it was two crooks that Tony ran into at a Sci-Fi convention."

"Oh, you like Sci-Fi, do you?" asked Chris, "I think there's a convention at the weekend. Perhaps we could go together?"

Tony glared at him, "so explain again what you meant about setting Celeste up with McGeek?"

"His name's McGee," said Chris helpfully.

"Tony likes to give me nicknames," explained Tim.

"Oh," said Chris enthusiastically, "have you told him your M.I.T. one?"

Celeste thought that Tony looked distracted enough to follow this up so hastened to say, "Yes, Chris, what did you mean about setting me up with Tim?"

"You remember, Fran. I told you that I'd contact a friend in Washington who might be able to look you up, help you out when you moved."

"I never heard from him," said Celeste.

"That was Tim," said Chris, "he said he was too busy and, reading between the lines, I got the impression that he wanted to find someone a bit more exciting than a …"

"Librarian," said Tony, "Oh, Timmy."

"So when I saw you with Tim here tonight," said Chris, proving why he was such a good deductive scientist, "I assumed he'd changed his mind and that you'd got together after all."

"Oh, Timmy," said Tony, now beginning to enjoy himself, "did you do the thing you shouldn't do? Did you judge a book by its cover?"

"No," said Tim defensively, "I never saw Celeste, I mean Frances, er Fran. I never saw her cover."

"But you thought librarians were boring," said Celeste sadly, "you assumed I'd be dull. Doesn't Agent Gibbs have a rule about that?"

"A rule about assuming librarians are dull?" asked Chris, "gosh, those are some pretty specific rules."

"No," said Tony, "it's 'never assume'.

"I really was busy, Celeste," said Tim.

"I understand, Tim," she said.

"And Tony was getting at me to be more adventurous in dating," added McGee a little unwisely.

"So you're saying it's Tony's fault?" asked Celeste indignantly.

"No-o-o," said Tim a little unconvincingly, "and I really am sorry."

"OK," said Celeste, "apology accepted. After all, it all worked out for the best," and she smiled at Tony and linked her arm though is.

McGee braced himself for more digs from Tony but none came and he looked at him in surprise. He saw a look of compassionate understanding in Tony's eyes and realised that Tony knew that he hadn't been apologising to Celeste but had been expressing his regret at not meeting her first. Tony wasn't always known for his kindness but he didn't want to kick a man when he was down and he was grateful that Tim had turned down the opportunity to meet Tony's librarian.

Tony wasn't above taking advantage of the situation, however, and this meal was meant to be a thank you for providing plain nutritious food so he picked up his menu and said,

"Hmmm, I think I'll have Truffled Risotto Fritters to start with, Sautéed Mediterranean Turbot Filet to follow and Champagne sorbet to finish. What about you, sweetheart?"

"Well," she said thoughtfully, "I was going to have a garden salad with grilled fish but that seems rather boring and I don't want to live up to Tim's image of librarians, so I think I'll have the same as you but perhaps I'll have lobster instead of turbot."

"Sound delicious, doesn't it, McGourmet?"

"Yes," said McGee bravely.

"You did say this was your treat, didn't you, Tim?" said Celeste.

"Yes," said McGee despondently. He thought it was just as well his digestion had recovered because his wallet was about to take a beating.

"Excellent," said Tony, "shall we look at the wine list?"