Chapter 3

Trust

It didn't take long to find Tahiri, as her tour guide was the noisiest Sytar in the entire camp. Anakin approached from behind them as Nethor showed Tahiri how to skip stones in the little river the Sytars had found. Anakin watched as Tahiri failed to make the stone skip and it landed with a plunk into the river. He chuckled. Tahiri turned around.

"What? Let's see you try to do this." She retorted. They laughed and started back to their tents.

He shook his head, "I can't either. But I wasn't laughing at you. It just looked like you were having fun."

She snorted. "You just take amusement at my failures." She started back to her tent after waving to Nethor. Anakin walked in step with her, except that Tahiri was trying to outpace him.

"Hey, will you slow down?" He said. She ignored him. He jogged up in front of her and blocked her way.

"Let me pass, Anakin." She tried to get around him but he moved in front of her again. She began to get annoyed. "Anakin!"

He folded his arms. "Now who's being difficult?" He furrowed his brow, then noticing her expression, softened. "What's wrong, Tahiri?"

"I don't know. I just don't know if I want talk to you right now." She didn't meet his eyes. Anakin felt her distress, and not wanting to make things worse, put his hand on her shoulder as he went to his tent.

"I'll see you in the morning, okay?" He pulled back the flap of his tent and went inside, leaving Tahiri standing in the middle of the camp her hand gripping her other arm.

Anakin borrowed a basin from one of the other Sytars and began to wash his robe. It was splattered with blood so he'd have to soak it and then hang it out to dry. Fortunately the drying part was not hard. He added soap and then got up to put more items in the sack he'd been using as his bag.

After finding he'd put all he could in the bag he lay down on his bed and pulled his covers over him. He lay on his side for a few hours, unable to get the images of the Yuuzhan Vong he'd killed out of his mind. Nor could he get out of his mind the vision he'd had while he was staying with the Sytars a few months ago.

In the vision he'd been fighting against the Yuuzhan Vong in a battle alongside his family and friends who were Jedi and those fighting to free the galaxy from the Yuuzhan Vong and then suddenly he saw someone get hurt and another and before he knew it he was striking down every Yuuzhan Vong in his path without hesitation and he was liking it the more he did it. His emotions turned to glee and joy of destroying his enemy, the ones he hated and felt it was right. But then he stood in the midst of the carnage and saw that he was no longer feeling like a protector of everyone else but a destroyer. Someone who sought fear out in order to let it command every action.

The vision passed before his eyes and he shivered, sweat rolled down his face and he became cold. Then a knock on the flap of his tent brought him to his senses. He sat up and watched as Tahiri came in.

"Can we talk?" She paused, noticing how pale he was. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "It's nothing." He smiled, it was amusing that she'd asked if she could talk with him, as she was usually the one who just went on and on without listening to anyone else. If he had been in a better mood he'd have found it outwardly laughable but he didn't feel much like doing that.

"Talk away." He said with a waning smile. Anakin was not unused to listening to Tahiri or talking to her but he didn't much feel like saying anything because the vision was still on his mind.

"Well, first, I want to know why you're being so distant with me. You're a quiet person so it's hard to figure out what's going on with you when you shut me out of your head. And since we've met up, you haven't once said anything about why you shut me out of your head after you ran away."

He gave her a long stare, "I thought that was obvious."

She raised an eyebrow and scowled, "It's not, so why don't you just tell me?" Anakin felt himself getting heated and clenched his fists. He bit his lip then glared at her.

"I was confused, okay?" His hands shook, "I'd just thrown my dad against a wall and I couldn't risk being around anyone else."

"You could have talked to me." She looked hurt and her next comment confirmed Anakin's initial feeling he was getting from her, "Or do you not trust me?"

Her comment had hit home, Anakin's face fell along with his silence for a few minutes.

"Do you really not know me, Tahiri?" He asked.

"I'm not sure I do, Anakin." She replied, "The past months, even before you were gone, I felt like you had turned into a totally different person. I couldn't figure out why you wouldn't even try to contact me, just once, to tell me how you were, what you were doing, something. To make things worse, you run away and end up almost dead. I don't understand you anymore."

"Nobody stays the same, Tahiri." He gave her a small smile. "Even friends change."

"Does that change involve people who are supposed to best friends ditching each other and not bothering to speak to each other anymore? I don't think it does." She grimaced and took a deep breath before continuing. "I can't keep doing this, Anakin. It's killing me that I have to hold our friendship together by the threads, when it's obvious that you don't want to hold it together. It's okay, I get it." She frowned then found herself staring at Anakin's face, which was inches from her own. It was only a moment later that she realized he was kissing her. The soft touch was brief but it sent warmth through Tahiri's entire body. Anakin was now preoccupied with toying with his pillow.

"Did you do that to make me feel better about this?" She asked. He stared at her strangely and then sighed.

"I've felt weird around you lately, that's why I haven't been talking to you." He explained. It seemed like the most vague response he could have given but he was having a hard time formulating sentences right now. That was a feat that was an accomplishment even for him.

"Weird?" Tahiri asked, breaking his train of thought.

"Yeah, like I couldn't even look at you without feeling nervous." He gulped and shifted uneasily. Tahiri looked at Anakin. He had been feeling so strange around her that he couldn't even talk to her? That was odd. Even though Anakin rarely talked, he spoke to Tahiri and was comfortable around her. She wondered when Anakin had started to feel that way. He glanced at her. "I'm sorry, we can just forget about that if you want to."

Tahiri stared at Anakin. "You meant it then?"

His blue eyes grew a deep rich color as he gazed at her seriously, "I don't just kiss people for the fun of it, Tahiri." He let out a sigh.

"Oh, right." She awkwardly tugged at a strand of her hair. He watched her for a few minutes then shrugged.

"We can just forget about it. It's fine." He stood up and started to walk to the basin where his robe was soaking but Tahiri grabbed his sleeve, pulled him off balance and made him fall flat on his face.

"Ow." He rubbed his nose and then looked up at Tahiri. She felt her face growing red and saw Anakin's also redden. She leaned in and kissed him. For a second Anakin hesitated then kissed her back. Then they sat in relative silence.

Tahiri broke the silence, "I had no idea you felt that way."

"I wasn't sure either, but I guess it's just something we have to figure out. If you're okay with it." He looked over at Tahiri.

"Well, it's going to take some getting used to. I mean we've been close all our lives but this is…" She felt lost for words. Anakin smiled at her.

"I know." He grasped her hand and squeezed it. She looked at Anakin, only just realizing how much she felt towards Anakin. She'd always been with him since she came to the Academy, almost having forced him to be her friend even though he wanted to be alone. Later on they wouldn't go anywhere or do anything without each other. But it had never occurred to her how much her feelings had grown towards him until now. She had never thought too much about the fact that she might like Anakin on a different level. It never crossed her mind because they'd always been so close. Their adventures together had brought them close in the force, their bond unbreakable. Anakin had stood by her through everything and she with him. It was almost as though Anakin's sudden disappearance from her life for eight months had made her realize just how deep her bond was and that Master Ikrit had been right about the force bond being tied with emotions.

"How long have you felt like that?" She asked, looking at Anakin. He blushed.

"Since I left the Academy to fight the Yuuzhan Vong. I'd only realized then that I was always thinking about how much easier it was when we were fighting together. As much as I wanted you there, I wasn't sure I could handle you being there, I was pretty confused." He looked uncomfortable and swallowed, "Then Serpindal happened and felt like I could use someone to just sit with me but you were at the Academy. I was in pain and I felt like at any moment I'd lose myself." He paused then smiled genuinely at Tahiri. The amount of gentle care in his eyes and smile surprised her. "Then I thought about how many times you've pulled me out of any situation that seemed hopeless and I felt better."

He almost couldn't look at Tahiri as he continued. This was as embarrassing as it was honest for him to say. "I found that I was only at my best when you were there with me."

Tahiri sat in stunned silence. "I… thanks." She stammered. He pulled her over until she was leaning on his shoulder and kissed the top of her head. Then he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"You're welcome." He smiled down at her as she leaned against him. She didn't mind that he'd pulled her so close. She then turned away and pulled him into a hug. His eyes went wide then his gentle smile came across his face slowly and he gathered her into his arms. Tahiri didn't want to move but she felt herself falling asleep. She rubbed her eyes and then slowly drifted off.

Anakin, not wanting wake his friend, laid her gently down on the bed. He lay down next to her and then fell asleep himself.

When Tahiri opened her eyes she saw Anakin's form next to her. His soft brown hair fell across his face as he lay down on his stomach, his head turned to the side. She couldn't help but notice how beautiful his eyelashes were or how serene he was when asleep.

He didn't take the bed. She glanced at Anakin. He had always been sacrificial. No matter what it was, he'd give to anyone else in a heartbeat. If there was something Anakin wasn't, it was greedy. Generosity was a quality that embodied every fiber of Anakin's being. That was what made him such a soft person despite his rough edges and reserved demeanor. It was something Tahiri had come to appreciate more over the years of knowing him. He was protective and loving. Nothing meant more to him than giving protection or whatever he could to the ones he cared about.

Tahiri reached out and lightly brushed the hair out of Anakin's face. Despite all the serenity he showed, she knew he had a lot more going on under the surface. Things he'd probably not been able to mention the night before for one reason or another. She hoped he would eventually tell her what was on his mind.

Tahiri noticed the basin and went over to examine the robe. It was clean but drenched. She smiled at Anakin's sleeping form. This time she'd do something for him, even if it was small. She exited the tent with the robe.

Anakin quivered in his sleep. The vision had come again, only this time he wasn't just cutting down Yuuzhan Vong, but his anger had caused the Yuuzhan Vong to go after others instead of him. They struck out again and again then found his family. Anakin's panic rose and he screamed as he leapt to black the staff from stabbing his family. Then his eyes shot open and he sat up. His wound was throbbing. Anakin put a hand on his chest as though trying to stop the pain. His T-shirt was all wrinkled because he'd spent most of the night tossing and turning. Anakin rubbed his head and looked over at the bed. Tahiri had been gone for a while, he noticed, because the bed was already made.

He looked up as she came in.

"Hey, I got you something." She came over and handed him his robe. It was now dry. She sat down next to him.

He took it and nodded. "Thanks." Anakin's gaze remained on the robe for a few minutes so it did not take long for Tahiri to question him.

"Something wrong?" She tried to look at his face. But he kept his eyes averted and shook his head.

"It's nothing." His voice was groggy and disoriented.

"You always say that, but it's never nothing." Her face was ridden with concern. She placed a hand on his shoulder, then her eyes went wide with alarm. "Anakin, you're shaking."

The truth was Anakin had never been so afraid. His anger had never been or felt so real as it did in the vision or when he fought the Yuuzhan Vong at their base. He had practically been as loving of their pain as they were. What was more, he had his stab wound to worry about. The poison was still in his bloodstream despite that it was neutralized. It was like it could erupt again at any moment. Hethor, the Sytar's head doctor in the camp, told Anakin early on that the Yuuzhan Vong poison was unlike any other. Even when rendered harmless, it still caused problems. It weakened muscles, the immune system, and numbed the senses. None of these things could cause death but they hindered Anakin's life and would probably never disappear according to Hethor. Anakin couldn't tell Tahiri that probably for the rest of his life, he would have the remains of a poison in his body, that caused him pain but wouldn't kill him. Though at times he wished it would. It was the pain that constantly reminded him how much he wanted to destroy the Yuuzhan Vong. Those thoughts were the ones that made him hate himself. He wondered if his grandfather hated himself after so many years of being an evil person who killed mercilessly and at what point he stopped caring about the pain of others and only cared about himself. Anakin knew he could end up that way if he let himself slip away.

It was hard to believe he'd resolved to let himself go just months ago when he'd come back from his visit to Dagobah and now the very thought had him shivering in his sleep. Anakin chided himself for becoming so insecure. He couldn't second guess his decision. Not at a time like this. The galaxy needed to be rid of the Yuuzhan Vong.

Tahiri felt Anakin's body shaking uncontrollably. She'd never seen him so distraught. Anakin was normally such a solid person, strong and reliable to help out in pinch. The fact that he was now so shaken, so afraid was frightening for her.

"Anakin, what's wrong?" She asked again. He looked at her, his eyes wide with terror. He couldn't speak, he couldn't tell her. Anakin tried using a calming technique and began to stop shaking a little but he could still feel his inside twisting.

He took a few deep breaths then smiled at Tahiri. "It's okay. I just had a nightmare. Nothing to worry about." He stood up and would have fallen over if Tahiri hadn't caught him.

"You're not okay. You can barely stand up." She put his arm around her shoulder, supporting him. The shuttle the Sytars were using to get them back to Yavin-4 would be coming soon, so she picked up her bag and Anakin's. She didn't leave anything overly important at Sliven's and she was sure he'd understand that she had things to take care of. Right now she had to take Anakin to Yavin-4, he was in no shape to stay in the desert.

She looked up and saw the shuttle landing. A Sytar climbed down the ramp and helped her take Anakin aboard and lie him down in the small med-center. She dropped her bags down and sat in the chair next to the bed. The Sytar, after checking that they were both settled, went to the cockpit and closed the ramp. The shuttle slowly took off.

Tahiri wet a cloth in the basin next to the bed and put it on Anakin's forehead. He was burning up and shaking even more from fever. She wasn't sure what was wrong with him. He'd been fine the night before and now he was down with a fever. It couldn't have just been a nightmare. Nightmares didn't cause fevers.

Anakin went in and out of consciousness. He saw Chewie's face staring at him. The wookie yowled at Anakin, "You were too weak to save me too. You don't have what it takes!" Then Anakin heard an all too familiar laugh, that of the emperor. The laugh he'd heard so many times as young student at the Academy. The laugh sent shivers down his spine. "Trust in your instincts." The emperor said. "It might save your friend." Anakin couldn't argue, his mind was so twisted. He'd been down this road before, but this time he really had let someone die by being weak, by not being angry and fierce with the Vong. His soft demeanor had let his father's best friend die and made him hurt his father.

Anakin's eyes snapped open and he looked up into the green eyes of Tahiri. She was leaning over him with worry written all over her face. Anakin hated how much strain he was causing his friend so he managed a smile after using the force to calm his nerves.

"Hey." He said. Tahiri sighed, a little relieved that he wasn't shaking like before.

"You're going to make me go into premature aging, Anakin Solo." She said, her voice full of slight irritation.

"I think a little gray hair would make you look better." Anakin joked. For that he got a small slap on the face. Then she smiled at him.

"Thanks, Tahiri."

She raised an eyebrow, "For what?"

"For being with me. I know I'm a pain."

"That's an understatement." She muttered then grinned at him, "Who'd be there to make sure you come back in one piece if I didn't?" Anakin had to agree with that.

There was a knock on the door jamb and Zekk came in. "Hey, I thought I heard your voice, Anakin. Glad to see you're awake."

"Yeah, but my head feels like there's a Krayt Dragon ramming against the inside of my head."

"Maybe it'll knock some sense into you." Zekk said and laughed then jumped out of the way as Anakin took a swipe at Zekk from a sitting position on the bed. Tahiri sighed and shook her head, rolling her eyes. It was going to be an interesting ride to Yavin 4, that much she knew without the force telling her anything.

Synthor stood in the cockpit, his arms folded behind his back as he surveyed the stars coming up in the viewport's glass. Now would be the time to come into the open. There would be no hesitation from this point. The Sytar turned away. It was time to release the force hold on the Jedi and begin the counterattack on the Yuuzhan Vong.

As much as it truly pained the Sytar to kill other creatures, force or no force, he had no choice. The Sytar race had no choice. They were the last of their kind.

The very first victims of the Yuuzhan Vong when they left their rim of the galaxy. Synthor had seen it all. The Yuuzhan Vong had managed to get under the water and drag Sytars to the surface to be tortured.

To Synthor, it was the Yuuzhan Vong had never deserved the force and he would not let them take the force with them when the Yuuzhan Vong were terminated.

"Full speed to Yavin 4, Tenthor." Synthor commanded and then made his way to Anakin's room to remove the force block from the three JedI on board.