Author's Note : Sorry about the wait. This part was harder to iron out than I thought, and I was swamped with work from multiple directions. Thanks goes to my few wonderful reviewers (especially HBB88), and I hope you enjoyed this story, as short as it was. I have ideas roaming around for a one-shot based on this, centering on Kurai. If no one wants it, I won't do it.
To HBB88 : Thanks for reading and giving me your input. Although, it won't be up for a few months, I do have another Hiei/Yusuke story in the works. It's a lot longer than this, is an AU and the plot is already nearing completion, so the writing shall commence soon.
GOODBYE PEOPLE! Sharys
Disclaimer : DON'T OWN!
To Remember By : Sharys AogailChapter 4 :
I sat on my bedroom floor, wedged between the space between my bed and my dresser. When I was little I would curl up there for hours when I was upset. Now here I was, over seventeen and still doing the same thing. I had my chin resting on one knee, my arms tightly wrapped around my leg, the other tucked securely beneath me.
Old habits die hard, as Kurai had once said.
I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think of him, or Hiei. Not tonight or any other night. But no matter what I did, the memories wouldn't leave me alone, forcing me to confront them.
He had wanted me to live, willing to sacrifice himself for that single purpose, and I was more than willing to do the same.
It didn't take me long to figure the "why". Yusuke had cared deeply for Hiei. They never spoke of it, but in retrospect it was kind of obvious in the end that it was mutual. Look what their silence brought them.
I wasn't Yusuke anymore, just like Kurai could never truly be Hiei. So what would I do now? It was obvious from his little display that night that Kurai was protective towards me, showing that even in this new life, he still felt the same. But what about me? Did I care for Kurai the same way that Yusuke cared for Hiei?
I could try to forget everything that had happened. I could pretend to be normal again and ask Ayame out on that date she's been hinting for (despite her abusive nature), and act like nothing had happened.
I dismissed that thought quickly. It wouldn't be fair. Kurai deserved better.
And so did I.
There was a quiet tapping at my window. Since it was three stories up, there was little doubt who it was but I looked up anyway. Somehow keeping his balance on the outside ledge, I watched as Kurai quietly forced open the window. He settled cross-legged on the windowsill, his hands folded quietly in his lap.
Silence reined.
"So . . ." he began softly. "You know."
I gave a short bitter laugh. "What? That I more or less committed suicide to follow you in death? Then, yeah. I remember." As it all came down, I pressed the heel of my hands into my eyes. "Oh god . . . I was so stupid. Yusuke, I mean. Their deaths almost seem pointless."
"Pointless?" Kurai honestly sounded surprised. "Is that what you really think?"
When I gave him no answer, he sighed. Yet another period of silence fell over us, but every so often Kurai would open his mouth as if to speak, then close his mouth as he turned his head away. It was obvious he was debating with himself. When he finally did speak, his voice was faint. "When I was younger, I had a lot of nightmares. My mom told me that they would eventually go away, and fade with time. It wasn't until I was eight that I really understood that they weren't really nightmares, but memories from another me in the past. Hiei's life terrified me. How he was raised, what was done to him, and what he did to himself as well as others . . . I didn't want to believe I was connected to him in any way."
He paused for a moment, a sad smile tugging at his lips. "But then three years ago other memories began to surface, and it all changed. Hiei was brought down by an arrogant street punk, one of the humans he so despised, and then ended up working along side him. As time passed, Yusuke defied everything that Hiei had convinced himself that humans were, and with his influence began to change. For the first time in his life, he was willing to risk it all for someone else."
Blazing red eyes locked on me, nearly a dozen emotions dancing within the flames. It was almost as if he was pleading for me to understand as he continued. "Hiei would have never admitted it, but if the situation had been switched . . . he would have done the same. Either way we would have chased each other into the next life. If not right then, maybe some other battle in the future. Was it really so pointless?"
What could I say to that? This was too much all at once. How was I supposed to figure it all out? I thought for a few moments, asking the first thing that came to mind.
"How did you find me?"
"I tracked down Kurama, and through him I arranged a meeting with Koenma. Needless to say they were both shocked as hell to see me once they realized who I was." He smiled as he realized the double meaning of his words. "Koenma and I came to a sort agreement. He led me to you on the condition that I wouldn't force Yusuke's memory awake. I was allowed to talk to you, and even drop hints here and there, but the instant I attempted anything beyond that I would be sent home with my own memories suppressed. If there is one thing Hiei and I share it's our stubbornness, so I wasn't about to go and ruin my chance."
Thus revealing why he wouldn't talk when I demanded an explanation. "But what about the demons tonight? How did they know who I was?" How did they know you?
Kurai suddenly looked ashamed. "That's my fault in a way. Kuwabara was told of my little visit, and heard that I was looking for you. The old idiot got himself drunk, and started blabbing about how he knew Urameshi couldn't remain dead. You can imagine how that went. As for those particular demons, they were old acquaintances of my father, and once he died they seemed to consider me and my mother fair game. They were actually out to hurt me." He sighed, seeming to realize just how long he had been talking. He abandoned his perch and moved to kneel before me, looking at me eye to eye, blazing red meeting uncertain blue. "Now, knowing all this . . . what happens from here depends on you. This is your decision."
I buried my face briefly, breathing deeply, then raised my chin to meet those eyes. "I don't want to continue what happened in the past. I'm not Yusuke."
A shadow suddenly fell over his face. "I . . . I see." He rose and turned away, his movements a bit stiff. His voice sounded forced. "I promise I won't bother you anymore."
"No, wait!" I scrambled after him, catching his sleeve before he leapt from the window. Without thinking, I wrapped my free arm around his waist, gently pulling him back into the room. "That's not what I meant," I whispered, burying my face in the back of his neck. He stiffened but didn't struggle. "I'm so sorry, that wasn't what I meant."
He gave an odd, strangled noise. "What did you mean then?" he choked out.
"I want to start over. I want to know you, with the understanding that past mistakes won't be held between us. I want to know Kurai, not Hiei's shadow, but the whole new person his soul developed into. And I want . . ." I broke off for a moment. "I never want to go through pain like that again."
"Such promises . . ." Kurai murmured. He slowly removed himself from my arms and turned to look at me face to face. "To start over, huh?"
I nodded.
He was silent for a long while before he finally said something. "Alright then," a slow smile spread across his face as he extended his hand to me, "my name is Kurai Tansaka."
I gripped his hand in a firm shake, then suddenly yanked him into a tight embrace. He returned the gesture slowly. "Thank you Kurai," I whispered to him.
After a moment I felt a hand in my hair and a light weight settle about my neck. Soft lips brushed against my cheek as Kurai drew away. I grabbed at my neck and glanced down, startled to find a black hiraseki stone dangling from a sturdy leather string. I looked up questioningly.
He gave another smile, more genuine than the others had been. "A reminder to never take things for granted." He hopped lightly back onto the windowsill, and turned to face me. "Can I meet you tomorrow after school?"
I smiled back, rubbing my cheek with the back of my hand. "Yeah, sure."
Then, just like every other encounter with Kurai, he disappeared, leaving me to think about tomorrow.
FIN
Aouthor's Note : Behold my first FINISHED chapter story! Yay for me! (throws confetti, and dances around in pajamas and riding boots) I had LOTS of fun with this story, but I am glad that it is over so I can focus on my more neglected stories. I love comments, so if you have one (good or bad) don't be afraid to click the review button. Or e-mail me. Whatever. I write for fun and post to get feedback for improvements. Until my next story, goodbye Peoples. Sharys