Chapter 4 - Longer Than You Know

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"You were saying?"

"…I was thinking we should go to dinner tonight." He saw the hesitation in her eyes, "Or not."

Tugging on the crease of his pant leg just below his knee, "You need to give a girl a moment to answer. Yes, but I am on call – so nothing fancy."

His smile broadened across his face, "One cool and casual dinner date coming up."

Resisting the urge to flash a toothy grin, Kate settled for a twinkle in her eye, "Date?"

Matching the twinkle in her eye, Castle nodded his head and agreed, "Date."

Neither of them noticed that Esposito had crept up on them, "Whose going on a date?

In perfect harmony, "No one." they replied.

"Good – because we have a body."

Esposito parental radar was on high alert. The parents were acting suspiciously friendly. It wasn't in what they said, it was in their mannerisms. Castle handing Beckett her coat, waiting for her to lead the way to the elevator, standing suspiciously close together on the elevator not in opposite corners using he and Ryan as a buffer. Their behavior was so pre-parade of the robotic blondes and if anything it was a bit more. Esposito wasn't sure how it was more, but Beckett had a calmness he hadn't witnessed before.

Esposito stepped closer to Ryan and as he stared straight ahead, mumbled out of the side of his mouth to Ryan, "I think Mom and Dad made up."

Beckett looked at Castle and rolled her eyes. He smirked in response.

Ryan replied with a mumble or his own, "Verify with Lanie."

Beckett cleared her throat, "Not deaf boys."

A combination of nervousness and excitement caused Beckett to slow her steps as she and Castle approached her Crown Vic. It would be their first time alone in a confined space several days; up until this morning Castle had done everything in his power to avoid her.

Castle read her mind, "Feel like a kid going on a first date rather than a man going to a murder."

Chuckling in response, "Me too, first date part – not the man part."

Castle's eyes lingered on her for a moment, sweeping over her with an appreciative glance from head to toe before climbing in beside her. "Detective Beckett, I doubt anyone has EVER mistaken you for a man."

Kate shaking her head at this cocky grin, "Good to know."

Backing up the car, Beckett found it comforting that Castle was back to flirting with her. Castle's banter provided her with a welcomed sense of peace.

"You never said where we were headed."

"Irving at East 18th Street."

"About twenty minutes this time of day?"

Focusing on her driving, "I'd say so."

Turning in his seat to face her, "Time for a question?"

Castle's tone made it sound like it was a personal question. Kate wasn't sure she wanted to start a personal conversation on the way to a crime scene. Not the type of personal conversations they needed to have. "Sure."

"It took me a little time to figure it out…I visited you in the hospital 247 days ago, didn't I?"

Taking a poor stab at humor as she steadied herself, Kate answered, "248 now, but who's counting?"

"Hmmm, so I'm right?"

"Yes."

"That was weeks after you were um…"

"You can say it – shot."

"Why so long?"

"Really want to do this now?"

Castle placed a tentative hand on her thigh, "Please." He hoped his touch conveyed what he knew he couldn't yet articulate. That there was no right or wrong answer, he loved her.

Kate wasn't sure what took more concentration, driving with his hand resting on her leg or looking for the right wording. "The first couple weeks in recovery were a haze of real events and dreams."

Castle began nervously rubbing his thumb across her leg. Maybe this wasn't the time for this conversation.

Did he know what his touch was doing to her? Could he feel the heat rising off her jeans? Kate blinked repeatedly. Clutching the wheel a bit tighter, Kate opened up. "Until you walked in I thought I dreamt it, then your eyes – it was all in your eyes, looking at you, seeing you… I was fairly confident it had been real. That you said you loved me."

Her voice breaking; "Then when I said I didn't remember the events surrounding the shooting - your face fell, your voice cracked. I knew for certain. In that moment I didn't know what to do with it."

Looking in the review mirror Kate watched the sting of her words play out across his face as he questioned, "Didn't know what to do with it?"

Huffing out a breath, Kate laid her hand over his as he moved to withdraw it from her leg. "I never let myself go there again."

Narrowing his eyes, Castle's voice was full of surprise, "Again?"

Pulling the car to park in front of a fire hydrant, Kate gnawed on her bottom lip. This was not the time for this conversation. Why did she let him lure her into having it at work? Maneuvering in her seat to face him, making sure that their eyes were locked before continuing, "Remember when you asked me to go to the Hamptons with you?"

"You said no."

"Initially, after all I was dating Demming. In so many ways you were still 'Richard Castle' the author that I had crushed on before we even met."

Castle was all but singing when he interrupted her, "You had a crush on me?"

Blinking to roll her eyes and shake her head at his obvious glee; "The day after I said no, I stashed a packed bag in my locker. I was going to tell you yes."

"Why didn't you?"

"Remember how we were all having a beer and I asked to talk to you for a minute?"

Castle grimaced, "Gina."

"Yep."

"Ouch."

"Oh yeah."

Kate's phone began buzzing in her pocket. She really didn't need to look at it to know it was Esposito or Ryan. They needed to get going. Kate fingered the keys to start the car, until Castle tempted her with another question.

"Before we drive off, you said your mind. What about your heart?"

Kate teased him, "Ever the writer, looking for the details."

Castle surprised her with his response, "Always."

Smiling shyly, "I like that word."

Smiling with confidence, "I thought you did." Pausing a moment "About your heart?"

Damn she wished they weren't doing this right now. Kate unbuckled her seat belt, twisted in her seat, leaned in so close she could've tasted him, but didn't. His scent started making her light headed as she huffed out against his lips, "You have had pieces of my heart for so very long, longer than you know."

Castle hovered his lips a touch away from hers, "Yeah?"

The way he said 'yeah' undid her, so sexy, so full of promise and want. Before her head could catch up to her heart, Kate snaked a hand to the nape of his neck, feathering a touch at the base of his collar, encouraging him to lead the way.

Fisting the lapels of her jacket in his hand, he slowly drew her in, closing the final millimeter to contact. Feeling her lashes play on his cheeks he began to taste her. A kiss that started as a curious hello transformed into a message of things to come.

Pulling back as her vibrating phone beckoned her, Kate swiped a thumb across his lips, removing the evidence of their kiss as she answered the phone, "Beckett."

"You lost or are you two busy making out, I mean up in the car?"

"Good-bye Espo."