Author's Notes: One more what should be short chapter to go after this one. I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: The show Flashpoint and its characters were created by Mark Ellis and Stephanie Morgenstern and belong to them and its respective networks. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Hand on My Back; Voice in My Ear

Chapter 4

"Your dad is pretty worried about you." Sam's voice was still quiet in her ear. It was as if the day had been filled with too much noise and he was loath to add to it in any way. "He called me after he talked to you. Said you pretty well freaked him out and that I'd better have a really good excuse for not being glued to your side."

"I'm sorry; Dad gets a little protective at times. I hope you told him that it was my fault you weren't." Her own voice just sounded weary, even to her own ears. She wondered how much of it was due to pure exhaustion and how much had to do with the pain killer she'd been given in the ER.

Sam took the crutches from her and set them against the window. Then he lifted her up in his arms bridal style and carried her over to a set of hard plastic chairs by the wall. She rested her head on his chest as he sat with her in his lap. He caressed her cheek. "I understand him being protective. I'll be the same way with our child and with you as much as you'll let me be."

"I thought I lost you today." There was more of an accusatory tone in her voice than she'd planned. It mixed with a slight quiver told more about her thoughts and feelings than the words themselves. Sam sighed and leaned his head back against the wall.

"I know. I'm sorry, Jules. I heard the fear in your voice as you were telling me to get out, but as much as I wanted to take that fear away from you, I couldn't let that bomb explode. I had to do everything possible to defuse it."

Jules frowned. Was it really fair that she was fussing at him for putting himself in danger when she herself had not listened to his pleas at the daycare? Yes, she argued internally; the two incidents were widely different. "I wasn't just telling you to get out as your wife, Sam. As much as I personally needed you to be okay for me and the baby; I was also begging as your teammate. Wasn't it enough that we'd already lost Donna and Jimmy? We couldn't lose you as well. It wasn't even like I was the only one telling you to get out, Sam. Spike is the demolitions expert and HE was telling you to get out as well. You should have listened to him if nobody else."

She was pretty sure the hurt was obvious in her eyes but she'd about reached the end of her ability to mask her feelings behind a wall of professionalism. However, as she looked into Sam's eyes, she could see the same pain reflecting back at her. She felt bad; the day hadn't been any easier on him. He leaned down and kissed her softly.

"Jules, I heard everything he was saying just like I heard what you were saying. I know Spike was reliving the day we lost Lew all over again. He was afraid he was about to lose another teammate and friend while he was too far away to do anything to help. I didn't want to put him through that any more than I wanted to put you through it. He was seeing a repeat of what happened before so he wasn't seeing the situation the same way I was."

"What were you seeing that was so different? You obviously could see the timer and knew you were running out of time. Why would you stay?" She wasn't trying to start a fight. She had neither the energy nor the desire to argue. Her question was a sincere attempt to understand what he was thinking at the time.

"Because I didn't want him to win. Faber that is. He had already managed to detonate three bombs and kill I don't know how many people. He killed Donna and Jimmy and endangered Sarge. We knew who he was and where he'd hidden his bombs and that damn timer was saying it wasn't going to be enough. Even with everyone screaming in my ear to get out of there, I couldn't do it as long as there was a chance I could prevent another explosion. That's what we do. We give it our all until our all isn't good enough."

He wasn't telling her anything she didn't know. One of the things that had always pulled her to him was the knowledge that he was as committed to the job as she was. He not only understood the dangers but embraced them as well knowing the end result was the safety and well being of the public. Why was it suddenly not sitting right for her? She looked down at her left hand that was resting on her stomach and knew the answer.

"And if you'd been killed in the process, that would have been okay?" Jules slid off his lap and hobbled back toward the window, keeping the weight off her injured leg. She leaned her head against the glass, watching as one of the infant girls on the other side opened her eyes partially and yawned. "Somehow that doesn't sound like too comforting a thing to explain to our baby about why Daddy isn't there in his or her life."

"I know." Sam admitted from his seat. "I was looking at that detonator watching the timer run down much quicker than the temperature was dropping on the mercury switch. Spike was yelling at me to drop everything and run but that sounded too much like defeat. Then you told me that we would not lose each other today and your words hit me worse than any explosion ever could. Leaving might be a defeat for the building but not for me. We got married today. We stood in front of our family and our friends and made our vows before them and God. My priorities are different now; they have to be. It's not all about me anymore. You and our baby are what's ultimately important to me. Not being the big hero. So for you and for our child, I left. I got out and I ran as fast as I could and prayed that it would be fast enough."

Jules turned around and leaned against the glass of the nursery. "I love you. You know that right?"

Sam stood and crossed back to her and gathered her gently in his embrace. "On a day like today when nothing seems to make sense anymore, it's the only thing I know. I love you and I love this baby and I'm so sorry I scared you. There's nothing I want more than a long life with you as my wife and for the two of us to be parents to this little miracle that's coming into our lives."

Again for a few minutes words weren't necessary or wanted as they continued to hold each other. There was probably more that needed to be said about the explosion at the EMS building, more feelings that would have to be aired in the hours and days to come, but for now it was enough. She could feel his heart beating beneath her ear and she took comfort and reassurance in its steady sound. She felt lucky and grateful that she hadn't had to find out what it would be like to go home tonight and crawl into her bed and know that she'd never again have Sam's arms wrapped around her. She wouldn't have to hope that their last kisses would be enough to last for the rest of her lifetime. So many others wouldn't have that luxury. She sniffled.

"You think Hank knows?" A year. Hank and Donna had only gotten a year as husband and wife. Jules thought back to the couple's wedding day that had ended in bloodshed. After Hank had been shot, Donna had believed that her wedding day would be the day she became a widow as well. Hank had survived, however, and they'd gotten a second chance at happiness, a happiness that had only lasted a little more than a year. She shuddered, not wanting to think about comparisons.

Sam must have felt her shudder because he tightened his arms around her. He kissed the top of her head. "Yeah, he knows. Holleran made the notification about an hour ago. Ed's talked to Hank. I couldn't even imagine if someone showed up at my door to tell me something had happened to you."

Again those silent moments after the explosion at the EMS building filled her mind. What was worse, being oblivious to the danger until someone knocked on your door and shattered your illusions of a happy life or being privy to the danger from the onset and not being able to do anything about it? He's okay; he's right here holding you; stop thinking about it. She willed those thoughts away and thought about Ed, who was unquestionably the closest to Donna on Team One, talking to Hank. Jules wondered what else she'd missed while she'd been in the ER getting her leg checked out. She imagined the team gathered in the waiting room waiting for word about Sarge.

Reluctantly, she stepped out of Sam's embrace and looked up at him, sure her fears were reflected in her eyes. "Any word on Sarge?"

Sam shook his head. "Nothing. We cornered one nurse but she said things were so crazy in the ORs that the nurses just weren't having time to call with updates. It's frustrating but no word has to mean he's holding his own right?"

She nodded. She'd wallowed in her own self pity long enough; it was time for her to be there for the team. "We should get back to the waiting room, shouldn't we? Maybe there's word?"

Cupping her face in his hands, Sam leaned down and kissed her, gently at first and then with growing need. Only the fact that they were in a public corridor of a hospital kept him from making a complete spectacle of himself. As it was, they were both breathing heavily by the time he pulled away. "Ed promised to text me if any word came in. We'll join the team in the waiting room in a minute but first, I need to worry about you. You're not okay. Your dad could hear it in your voice and I can see it in your eyes as well. I don't think it's all about your injury or what happened at the EMS building. No one's going to begrudge us a moment or two. If you need to talk about things, then I want to listen."

She knew he did. Knew that if she asked, he'd gather her securely in her arms and listen as she told him about the little boy on the sidewalk whose face was there every time she so much as blinked her eyes. He would not only listen as she shared all the fears and emotions that had threatened to overwhelm her all day long but also try to take away the sting and pain of them if he could. She needed to share with him the horrors of her day and then listen as he did the same. However it wasn't something they could do in a moment or two and certainly not standing in the hallway where anyone could walk by. "I do need to talk but later, okay? Once we go home?"

Sam nodded. "Okay, but I'm here for you if you need me. You don't have to bottle things up inside, not in front of the team and definitely not around me."

She nodded, "I've always known that." Sam gave her a little smirk of disbelief and she felt just a hint of a smile tug on the corners of her mouth. "I have. Knowing it's true and being able to do it are two different things." She stretched up as far as she could on her good leg so that she could place another soft kiss on his lips. "I so much more than love you, Sam. I love that you know me so well, that you know where to find me when I don't even know myself, that you know what I need even if I don't. Most of all though, I love that you love me so completely."

He stared into her dark eyes and shook his head. "I meant what I said this morning, Jules. From the day I met you, I've been yours. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, no place I wouldn't go for you - 'til death parts us and even after. I'm just real glad today wasn't the day we had to worry about the 'even after' part for either of us."

She held his gaze for a moment longer, feeling as protected by it as she did his arms. She'd always prided herself on being able to take care of herself and would scoff at the notion that she would ever need or want to be protected by anyone. Now, however, she had to admit that it was a nice feeling; he wasn't trying to protect her because he felt like she needed it but because he needed to do so. Feeling a little more empowered to stand on her own she leaned back and reached for her crutches. Sam smiled as she steadied herself on them.

"Crutches? You are willingly using crutches?"

She frowned. Her disdain for the aids was very well known. "Yeah, well, Dr. Barns suggested the stability they'd give me while my leg was healing would make it less likely that I'd fall and hurt myself or the baby."

Sam only nodded but Jules could see the wheels turning in his head and almost groaned. She was pretty sure he was filing away the success of playing the baby card in the back of his head to use at the first possible moment. Somehow that didn't bother her the way she had ever thought it would.

He gave her room to maneuver on the crutches without bumping into her but still kept his hand on her upper back. Whether it was to help give her support or because he needed the physical contact himself, she didn't know and decided it didn't really matter because she wanted and needed the contact just as much if not more so. They stepped on the elevator to ride down the four floors to the surgical floor. Once again there was no one else on the elevator. Once again the elevator door opened at her destination and once again she found herself unable to move. Sam was looking down at her and she didn't have to look up at him to know he was worried.

His hand reached out and pulled the stop button keeping the elevator doors open on the 8th floor. He didn't question her hesitation but waited for her to explain if she could. She blinked back a couple of tears; she didn't want to break down, not anymore than she'd already done so. She glanced up at him, her face pale and her eyes wide with fright.

"I'm scared Sam. I'm scared he's not going to make it. Everything I am with the team, it's because of him. Even when I had doubts about myself, he never did. I don't know that I know how to do this job without him. I don't know that I want to find out. Last year when he was facing suspension because of us and he was actually contemplating leaving, it was killing me to think it was going to happen."

"I know." Sam assured her quietly. "I could see how much it was eating you up even if you didn't talk about it. As much as it was killing you to think Sarge would leave SRU, it was killing me that I couldn't do anything to make things better. To be honest, that day at the picnic, I'm not sure which news relieved you more: our clearance to date while remaining on the team or Sarge tearing up the suspension papers."

She shook her head. "Sam, you have to know you meant more…"

Sam tilted her head up so she was looking in his eyes again. "I do know. That's my ring on your finger and my baby you're carrying. I know you love me and I have never doubted that. I've also never doubted that you and Sarge have a special relationship that's different from any he shares with any of the rest of us on the team. I recognized it almost from the very beginning. It's a beautiful thing, but it's also a little scary. That day I came down the stairs at your place and he was standing there I thought he was going to go back out to his car and get his gun like a dad who's just discovered a guy hiding in his daughter's bedroom. I know I feared his reaction to the news of our engagement a lot more than I did your dad's. As much as you love your father, I think if he'd said he didn't approve of me, you would have agreed to marry me anyway. If Sarge had voiced disapproval, I'm not so sure."

She opened her mouth to protest and he immediately put a finger over her lips. "I'm just trying to tell you, I understand you are scared and I know you hate feeling scared more than anything. On this day that you shouldn't have felt anything but happiness and love, fear has tried to overshadow everything. I'd give anything if I could wind the time back and change my actions at the EMS building so you wouldn't have had to be afraid for me. I wish I could promise you right here right now that tomorrow everything is going to be fine and while we're packing up for a honeymoon, Sarge will be at work like none of this ever happened. I can't do either of those things. What can I do is offer you this reassurance that I believe with my whole heart. If he has any control in any of this, Sarge is not going to die. Not today, not from his injuries."

Jules needed to hear those words more than she needed her next breath. Even though she knew Sam couldn't guarantee what he was saying she needed him to say it. As much as she wanted to accept his words as the truth she desperately needed to cling to, her doubts wouldn't completely allow her. "How can you be so sure?"

Sam smiled down at her and kissed her once again. "Because back at the stadium, when Steve and the other medics were working on Sarge and it looked hopeless, you ordered him to fight and live. One thing I know more than I know anything else is this: when Julianna Callaghan…" he kissed her again. "Braddock tells someone to do something, only a fool wouldn't listen. And we both know Sarge is no fool. I may not be able to change what happened earlier or promise everything is going to be just fine, but I can't believe you have to fear getting off this elevator."

Jules nodded, taking deep breaths. "And if you're wrong?"

He lowered his head to rest against her forehead. "Then I'll still be right by your side the whole time. Whatever happens, we'll face it together. Okay?"

Her answer was to step out of the elevator. Sam followed her, remembering to push the button back in so that the elevator would once more work. Once more his hand was on her back even as she paused in front of the closed door to the waiting room. He glanced down and she knew he was checking to see if she was ready. She nodded and he opened the door.

The room was full; how could it not be when hell had been unleashed on the city? Strangers united only in their shared fears of their loved ones fates. She paid no attention to the people she didn't know in the room and instead focused on the corner that Team One had claimed in their wait. Leah was sitting next to Marina trying to quietly distract the distraught woman who had captured Greg's heart. Spike was sitting in a nearby chair, his elbows were resting on his knees which were spread shoulder length apart. His head was in his hands. Dean was sitting next to him, his legs bouncing uncontrollably as he stared at the telephone on the desk as if watching it would make it ring with word about his father. Ed was standing apart from the crowd, looking out the window. The tension was more than obvious in his shoulders.

Again Jules was reminded that as tough as the day had been for her and the rest of the team, it had been just as tough if not more so for Ed. She glanced up at Sam. "How's Clark?"

"Pelvic fracture. Fortunately it's minor but the doctors decided to put in a couple of pins to make sure it heals properly. With rest and physical therapy they're pretty sure he'll regain full mobility. They're taking him into surgery soon."

Jules nodded surprised not to see Sophie here as well now that the danger was past. Then her eyes widened. "Sam, was he taken to a different hospital?"

Her husband nodded. "Yeah, we tried to tell Ed he should go be with his family but he says he won't leave until he knows for sure Sarge is okay. Ed talked to Clark on the phone and Clark told him to stay, told him Dean needed him here and that he'd be okay."

"Jules!" Spike had glanced up and noticed them standing there. He rose from his seat and walked over to them, giving Jules a quick hug. "You okay? What about the baby? All this stress can't be good for either of you. Come on over and sit down, we'll move a chair over so you can prop your leg up."

She reached out and touched his cheek. Normally being fussed over would drive her crazy but just this once, she could allow him a little leeway. If treating her like she was made of glass gave him something to focus on rather than Sarge and his own demons that always reared their head after a bomb call gone even remotely wrong, then she could give him that. There was a hard-back couch that would have almost been big enough for three people to sit close together had there not been an arm rest in the middle. Not to be deterred, Spike pulled out his multi-tool and unscrewed the handle completely. This allowed her to snuggle in close to Sam, the latter's arms comfortingly around her, and let her put her leg up in a comfortable position for what might have been the first time since she'd been hurt.

"Any word?" She asked hesitantly.

Spike shook his head. Dean pushed himself off his seat and started to pace. His hands went through his hair in frustration. "Something's wrong. We should have heard something by now. How long does it take?"

Dean went over to the phone and picked it up as if to check for a dial tone. He dropped the receiver back onto the base. He looked like he wanted to throw the entire phone across the room, take out his entire frustration and fear out of the object that seemed to be keeping him from knowing about his father. Instead he slid down to sit on the floor in front of the desk, burying his head in hands.

"How does something like this happen? We were getting another chance. He was the dad Mom always said he couldn't be. We missed so much time and we were getting that back. Are you seriously telling me it all ends like this? We get just over a year to make up for all those years apart? What is that worth?"

Jules didn't even bother to stem the tears that fell down her cheeks at his pain. Again a year. Hank and Donna got a year of marriage together and she was ripped from his life forever. Dean had moved in with Sarge around the same time and despite Sam's assurances to her that Sarge would survive, there was still no guarantee that Dean wasn't going to lose his father just the same.

Sam brought his hand up to cup the back of her head as she buried her face in his uniform. While she wanted to go to the young man and offer him assurances that everything was going to be okay, she couldn't. How could she reassure him when she couldn't even reassure herself?

"Dean." Ed's voice was quiet in contrast to Dean's emotional outburst. She didn't have to turn her head to look and see that Ed had left his solitary post at the window to cross the room. She could almost feel his calming presence, even if he was tortured on the inside, emanating off him and spreading out to the rest of them. Usually it was Sarge projecting that calm that could get them all through a tough situation.

"Listen Buddy; your dad is going to be okay. He's tough, tougher than anyone I know. One thing I know better than I know anything else is that you being here, you coming to live with your dad, made him the happiest I've ever seen him. I've never seen him prouder than he was right after you asked to move in with him. You are his world, Buddy. That's what it's worth. You've got to know that."

Dean nodded and then allowed Ed to help him to his feet and lead him back over to the chairs. Once the teenager was settled again, Ed returned to the window. It struck Jules like a punch to the gut that Ed was stepping up and being the leader Sarge usually was. Would this be what it was like if Sarge didn't make it? They'd all pick up the slack left by the void his death would create? It seemed so wrong.

The door opened and every head in the waiting room turned, hoping to see some scrub wearing doctor coming in to tell them news about a loved one. Wordy stepped inside and made a beeline for them. "I heard about the Boss. I got here as soon as I could be released."

It didn't surprise any of them that even the officers with Guns and Gangs had been pressed into service as the city faced the worst catastrophe it had ever seen. Nor did it surprise any of them that Wordy would be there as they waited. They filled him in on what little they knew and he settled in to wait as well.

Time seemed to slow down to a bare crawl. The waiting room started to thin out as other family members got word about their loved ones fates and left either in grief or joy. Still no word came on Greg. Raf arrived loaded down with take out bags of hamburgers and fries for everyone. Food they all needed but no one really wanted. Food they ate on automatic pilot and barely tasted. Still no word came. Ed got the call that Clark was out of surgery and doing well. His relief was palatable but still no word came about their leader and friend.

Hours passed and they were the only ones still left in the waiting room. Inquiries that sometimes sounded more like demands were made to no avail. A lethargy settled over Jules that was probably a combination of the painkiller she'd been given in the ER, her pregnancy, and the sheer weight of the emotional drain she'd felt all day. She tried to fight it but soon she was dozing lightly in Sam's arms, asleep but yet not so deeply that she couldn't dimly hear what was going on in the room.

"Sam." Wordy's voice was barely over a whisper. "You and Jules should go home. That couch can't be that comfortable for her to sleep on. Besides, it's your wedding night. We'll call you as soon as we know something."

"We're not going anywhere." Jules argued, not even bothering to open her eyes.

The door opened and she sat up, lowering her leg to the ground for the first time since she'd sat down. They were the only ones left in the waiting room so as the doctor came in, he went straight for them.

"My name is Dr. Sorens; I operated on Sergeant. Parker."

"How's my dad? Why did it take so long?"

The doctor nodded. It didn't escape any of them that it was obvious he'd changed out the scrubs he'd operated in because there was no blood on the ones he was currently wearing. "Let me start off by saying, he's one hell of a fighter. He shouldn't be alive right now but he is. The next twenty four to seventy two hours are critical but I think he's going to pull through."

"What aren't you telling us?" Jules questioned.

The doctor sighed. "The bullets fragmented on impact. The surgery took so long because I had to make sure I got all the pieces. As such, they caused a lot of damage, especially the bullet he took in the leg. He'll have a long road of rehabilitation ahead of him but at least now I have more confidence that he'll live to need it."

"Can we see him?" Dean asked hopefully.

"You're his son, right?" At Dean's nod, the doctor continued, "He'll be in recovery for probably another hour and then he'll be moved to ICU. Once he's there, I'll allow you and only you to see him for about ten minutes. The rest of you will have to wait until visiting hours tomorrow."

He stood to leave and Ed reached his hand out to shake the doctor's. "Thank you for taking care of him."

The doctor nodded. "It was the least I could do. The city was under attack today and he - and the rest of you - were on the front line protecting us without a second thought to your own safety. You are the heroes that everyone in this city should be thanking."

He left out and Ed looked at the rest of the team. "You heard the doc. Nothing we can do tonight. Go home, decompress, get some rest. Tomorrow will bring its own challenges. Marina, I trust you'll stay with Dean until he's seen Greg?" The woman nodded.

"What about you? You're going to check on Clark right?" Jules pushed, her own exhaustion clear in her voice.

"No, I'm going home as well. The last message I got from Sophie is that Clark is sleeping peacefully and she was even heading home. I'm doing the same thing I'm telling all of you to do. You all did great today. Dr. Sorens is right, you are all heroes and I'm proud, damn proud to serve with all of you."

Sam kissed Jules on the side of the head. "Come on Mrs. Braddock, let's get you home. And just in case there was any doubt? It is my wedding night and I plan on carrying you and your crutches over the threshold and up the stairs to our bedroom. So don't even think about arguing."

Argue? She was looking forward to it. "Copy that."