Hilary's lifeless body had been tended to by EDI and Chakwas. They washed away the blood and dressed her in a white hospital gown before laying her down in one of the Med Bay's recovery pods. It had been almost twelve hours, but Joker still hadn't left her side. Shepard sat in the mess, her eyes glued to the floor, unable to eat, sleep or talk. She was exhausted from the mission, her whole body throbbing and aching, although she was barely aware of it.
She never heard Chakwas coming.

"Shepard." the doctor sounded tired. She'd always been especially fond of Joker, Aemilia knew, and the events of last night had shaken her deeply. "Someone has to check on Jeff. He's been in there for hours."

"You go." Aemilia's voice was weak; Chakwas shook her head.

"I think you need to speak to him. He is the ship's pilot; you cannot avoid him forever."

"I'm the last person he wants to see!" she protested, her voice now more assured. "He put his faith in me, and all I did was get his sister killed."

"You did everything you cou-"

"Didn't do enough" Shepard interrupted. She was tired of people patting her back every time she screwed up. "Damn it Chakwas, I fucked up! I couldn't save her, and now she's dead. That's the only truth I know."

"He needed closure, and you provided him with it." the doctor retorted.

"He needed his family. And I took that away from him." She held her hand to her mouth as an unbidden sob escaped her lips. No defeat she'd ever endured hurt as much as this one.

"The Reapers took his family, not you." the older woman's voice was gentler now. She sat next to the Commander, placing a comforting arm around her shoulder. Shepard didn't budge.

"What happened on Tiptree wasn't your fault." Chakwas continued "However you may feel about it. As a friend, I know you feel like removing yourself from Joker's sight is the right thing to do. But as a soldier, and as his Commander, you ought to go in there and tell him what happened."

Shepard knew she was right, though she kept that to herself; she hated being wrong. She nodded slowly as Chakwas smiled encouragingly, then dragged herself to the Med Bay.

Joker was sat on a chair behind his sister's body. He was holding her hand, Shepard noticed, and she felt her chest tighten. He straightened up as the Commander approached.

"Shepard?" he sounded more exhausted than she was.

"How are you holding up?" She mentally punched herself as soon as the words escaped her lips "I'm sorry; that was a stupid question."

He shook his head, and for a moment Shepard was afraid he might refuse to talk to her.

"I'll be fine. Eventually." His gaze shifted back to his sister as he gently pushed a lock of long brown hair away from her face. Hilary looked peaceful, Shepard thought, but she looked wrong: someone that young had no business being dead.

"Chakwas said you may want to know… what happened out there." She began tentatively.

Joker seemed to reflect on her words for a few minutes; then he nodded.

"She was still alive when we got to her." Shepard began slowly, her voice barely more than a whisper "Reaper forces invaded the farm; your father lost his life in the attack, but Hilary managed to escape. She ran up to the hills, and she hid until an Asari commando found her."

She told him how excited Hilary had been to see her, how impatient she was to board the Normandy. She recounted their escape, the mad run through the fields, the abnormal Banshee.

"I found them a while later. I took the Banshee down, but Aeian, she… "

Shepard fell silent. How on Earth was she supposed to tell him that his sister had been in pain right before she died? Don't be his friend, she reminded herself, be his Commander. She did her best to stop her voice from breaking.

"Hilary broke her leg during the escape." she continued slowly "Her sobs were giving away their position, so Aiean she… she made her stop. It was a clean shot, Joker: she died instantly. She didn't suffer."

The pilot didn't say a word, his brow furrowed, his expression pained. They sat together silently for several long minutes, until Shepard couldn't handle it anymore.

"For what it's worth Joker, I'm –"

He cut her short.

"Don't say you're sorry Shepard; don't you dare. You did everything you could for her, and that's all I needed to know."

He smiled feebly at her, and she felt her heart break. She almost wished he'd been angry at her: anger was better than sadness. She felt warm tears streaking her cheeks as she stood from her chair and knelt next to his, hugging him as tightly as she dared. He held her until she had cried all of her tears, and then a little while longer. When she let go, her heart was a little lighter; she went back to her chair.

"She was a cool kid." she said after a while.

"I know. She was never your typical girly girl" Joker answered "Bit like you. She wanted to join flight school."

"I know." Shepard nodded "She said she'd make you bite the dust; I agreed."

"Of course you did." he grimaced as she snorted quietly.

"I wish I could have gotten to know her better."

"Oh man, she would have loved you. Not that I'd let her anywhere near you: you'd be a terrible influence on her."

She slapped his wrist, and he offered a sarcastic smile. They fell silent again.

"What happened to the Asari?" Joker asked after a while.

Shepard felt a rush of guilt wash over her. She wasn't proud of how she'd handled the situation. Although, she had to admit, it had felt terribly good to put a bullet in the Asari's head.

"She's gone" she admitted "I killed her. Garrus tried to stop me, but I… I was angry, Joker. Really angry"

He nodded slowly, processing the information.

"Remind me to never piss you off." he finally said.

Shepard managed a smile.

"Yeah. Bit late for that, Moreau."