Title: Heart Breaker

Author: Nicluv1787
Rating: T

Genre: Comedy/ Parody

CU/AU: CU

Prompt: Broken Heart

Characters: Kagome and …

Words: 986

Summary: Kagome sees Inuyasha with Kikyo again, this is the ensuing results.

Warning: It's a parody, and everything is all in good fun, and I myself am guilty of more than a few of these. :D Also it's slight crack.

A/N: this is super spazy, but after spending days trying to find a reasonable alt-pairing fic to read I couldn't help but write this.

It was a dark and stormy night, -the best stories always start out that way-. Kagome emerged from the well. Fat drops of rain fell onto her face, running rivulets down her skin, soaking her clothes to the bone. Kagome scanned the horizon for her hanyou, who should've been there to greet her. 'Where is he?' The school girl wondered irately. Tumbling over the side of the well Kagome shrugged her monsterous sized backpack over her shoulders. Dragging her feet through mud that the turentual downpour had stirred up she headed towards Kaede's village, where the others would be waiting for her. Just past the well-clearing's edge she caught a flicker of pearlescence through the curtain of rain. Turning on her heel, she caught sight of one of Kikyo's soul collector. 'That's one of Kikyo's flying snake things…' Kagome scowled. 'That means Kikyo is around, which means Inuyasha is with her.' Balling her fists at her sides, Kagome stormed off after the serpentine creature as it weaves in and out of the forest.

The soul collector swooped down onto an intimate scene; Kagome stood by aghast as Inuyasha wrapped his arms around Kikyo's waist pressing her to his. Their tongues tangled in an exaggerated dance. She watches in horror as the pair began to grind up against one another. 'I can't believe this…' fat tears well up in her eyes, washed away by the rain that continued to fall around her.

"Inuyasha you jerk!" she screeched, before turning on her heel bolting through the forest.

The forest reached out to stop her, her clothes catching on branches, tearing into her clothes and skin.

With each pounding step through the endless forest, another piece of her broken heart shatters to pieces. 'I'll never love again…' She lamented.

Suddenly the rain clouds parted and the sunshine came through. Kagome's feet halted and she collapsed to her knees.

"Is it so much to ask for a nice guy?" she wailed.

The answer to her cry came in the form of a handsome wolf prince.

"You called?" Kouga strolled over to Kagome. –having aperated from the forest.-

"Kouga," Kagome gasped, wiping away her tears. "What are you doing here?"

Kouga looked around confused for a moment, "wasn't I supposed to be here, I thought that's how these stories went?"

Kagome rose to her feet, feeling baffled for a moment. "Well… I'm glad you here. I just saw Inuyasha with Kikyo and it was the last straw; take me to live you with the wolf tribe." Kagome flung herself into Kouga's arms.

"I'm so glad, Kagome, I've been waiting for you to realize I'm who you really belong with," Kouga petted Kagome's hair loving.

"I've been a fool," Kagome declared, lifting her brown-blue-gray eyes up to Kouga, staring up lovingly at him through her lashes.

Kouga took hold of her chin tilting it up, leaning in for a kiss.

"Release your grip of the miko," a voice crackling with power demanded. The pair turned to see Sesshomaru as he strode into the clearing, his silvery hair shimmering in the fresh sunlight. "This Sesshomaru is here to claim the miko, since this one's idiot brother has released his claim of her."

Kouga dropped his grip of Kagome, "too bad, Kagome's my woman, and now that she's left the mutt, we're going to be together.

Kagome stood back thoughtfully glancing between the two men. "Actually Kouga, I've changed my mind I think I'll go with Sesshomaru."

"What do you mean Kagome!" Kouga turned bewildered blue eyes on Kagome.

"It's just that I'd love to melt that cold heart…" Kagome looked Sesshomaru up and down. "Along with other things." she licked her lips.

"Good choice miko," Sesshomaru intoned. Striding across the clearing he scooped Kagome up wrapping her in his mokomoko.

'I'm living every fan girl's dream.' Kagome nuzzled into the mokomoko as they took off into the sky.

Sesshomaru and Kagome traveled in silence for some time, before landing miles away on a cliff's edge, where Sesshomaru had left behind Rin and Jaken.

"Sesshomaru-sama!" Jaken squacked coming to grovel at his master's feet.

Sesshomaru soundly kicked the toad aside, "Rin," he summoned.

Rin ran over, rings of flowers draped over her arms. "Welcome Kagome-san," Rin greeted sweetly, draping flowers over Kagome's neck. "Rin is happy to have you as Rin's new mother."

"Woah, woah, woah," Kagome held up her hand, "I'm not looking to be a mother yet I'm only fifteen! I was just hoping to teach Sesshomaru to love… in more than one way." Kagome looked Sesshomaru up and down sensuously.

Sesshomaru raised an elegant brow, "Why would this Sesshomaru take you if it wasn't to be a companion for Rin?"

Kagome stepped back a few feet, "ehh, on second thought Sesshomaru I think I'm going to pass, thanks for the offer though." Turning quickly on her feet Kagome bolted from the clearing.

She ran until she knew Sesshomaru wasn't following her and then slowed to a stop. 'What do I do now I wonder…' her question was quickly answered by the deep chuckle of evil laughter.

"So, you're all alone, miko?"

Kagome twirled around, coming face to face with Naraku. 'Oh no it's Naraku and I don't even have my arrows…'

"Kukuku, there's nowhere for you to run. I know that you and Inuyasha have split up for good and I've come to lay my claim to you."

"Okay, that's where I draw the line," Kagome declared stamping her foot.

"Kouga, yeah that makes sense. Sesshomaru, it's a long shot but sure. But Naraku? I'm sorry no. I don't need this. I'd rather deal with Inuyasha and Kikyo than all this." Kagome threw her hands up in defeat stomping off.

Naraku slid off his baboon skins, his brows furrowed with confusion. "Was it something I said?"

Sesshomaru and Kouga materialized next to him.

"Don't worry about her," Kouga rested his hand on Naraku's shoulder, "That woman is just a heart breaker."