There was a sensation gushing inside of an ailing container, more driving and dominative than any other impulse. It came unexpectedly, like a bolt of lighting that strikes down from somewhere above, a force of heavenly origin that humans must abide with. But truly the most simple calling has sometimes the strongest impel. I had no choice but to accept my desire to consume and release my senses in hope of finding something to devour. With my diminutive body, I engaged the command to move my lethargic muscles and scout my soundings. But despite my will not all of my body responded. It came to me that no longer was I in full control, that my legs could not move or my head could not turn. Firmly plastered onto the ground I struggled, but soon I accepted that only my upper limbs were available for manipulation. Even though my memory kept reminding me of something extremely important, the hunger was clouding any attempts at my ruminations. I was only left with one option, to crawl on my belly towards something, a distinctive aroma that just appeared in my nostrils. Little by little, the robust sensation filled the entirely of my attentiveness, as I pulled the weight of my numb and stiff lump of meat. The surface of the room made succulent and moist sounds, as if there was an unidentified liquid substance that I smeared as I slithered over it. Much like a mucus that remained from a snail, there was a trail laid down for me leading to a plater I only saw barely with my head in its vertical position. The contents of it emitted mouthwatering yet stomach-churning impressions, which still did not stop me from rising the lid. My convulsive hand just barely managed push the cover away, revealing to me what forthwith filled my teeth with crunching desire. The shape of an enormous fish that was cut in half was before me, penetrating my pupils with reflection from the lustrous and countless scales found on the treat. Without my consent and even before my saliva could fall onto the ground, the hands ripped the other body apart on their own. My savage extort uncovered what was hidden inside, the subtle pale meat eating maggots that were obviously there first. Before I could stomach what were my survival instincts doing, I reached my palm and shovelled the larva without even chewing. Serving after serving, I attempted to consume all that nutritious provisions, but soon they became aware of a predator. The insects knew no fear, and rushed towards my petite carcass without a warning. It was like a rush shower of glutinous and repulsing waste, I almost felt like I was unconsciously ejecting my insides out onto the floor. But soon after with my stomach holding again and the maggots leaving my presence, possibly hiding somewhere else in the room, my next move was obvious. I thrust myself closer to the giant fish dish and viciously hurled my fangs into the remaining meat. But something was not correct, different from what I would have expected. Normally the fish bones are quite small, they tend to hurt when not careful around then, but above all they are not as hard as I examined in that moment. That fossil certainty did not belong to a water based species, I realised, I was actually biting into a lower limb of a mammal and I knew now to whom they belonged. It was clear now that this liquid on the floor was blood, who collapsed on the floor and who prepared the meal for my soon to be starving self. But even so I was still continuously consuming that thing, with my intestines dangling on the outside. I must admit my taste was exceptionally delicious.

To question whenever a person is sane, first someone needs to provide a line of unaccepted deviations, and who ever passes it is dyed as a freak. However, considering the actions inside the dream, where there are no boundaries, there is no sin in doing whatever you want. I realised that every time when I woke up. This strange fabricated world that I always end up after going to bed is my new home, and whichever the old world provided was insufficient for my needs. My abilities that I trained and perfected allowed me to preform whatever I wanted inside of my dreams. Because I was not limited by time, if I ever got bored from doing something new I could always go back in my memories to do it differently, and that fact was fascinating. Because of how the peripheral satisfaction works it would be very unlikely to continue enjoying the same experience over and over. However, there was one important aspect of this space here. There is not a single thing that is the same, no matter how you look and focus, not even if you wanted close your eyes or turn, the next dream will always appear different than the previous one. This is the secret of my enjoyment here, though it can be pretty dull I admit. This is where a second of my feat shines useful, the capability of travelling between the worlds. It took me a long time to realise that I could move freely between the reality of the dream, and that way I could exist in multiple worlds at once. How was this possible was not understood by me, since only I knew how to use that ability to my advantage. It proven very entertaining lately, as I was able to spend much free time on trivialities of life. But somehow I think I messed up a little since my plan did not progressed as I wanted it to. Curious to know what did exactly occurred, I decided I would trace my memories in search for a answer.

I woke up on snagged beneath warm and cosy covers, as the light was tenderly opening my eyes to a new sunrise. I wanted to laze for a little while longer, but I felt it would be wasteful to do so. There was no other choice that to wake up, with all the flashes in my vulnerable half-awake eyes. I covered them with my hand in hope they will leave my space, but restlessly they kept on inviting me to give effort. I finally decided to yield to them, even though it was a little hard to do so. First, I had to use my strength to remove whatever was on my body and weight its mass onto the edge to get down. The procedure was quite simple, as I simply needed to put my gentle hands on the ground, while stretching my other limb, and pull myself towards the floor. With that my fishy tail flopped onto the pond making a splashing sound as it landed. It was a quite comfortable carpet on the floor, which was caressing my softly made nightgown. I took that sensation as a call for a outfit change, so I quickly crawled towards my drawer where I kept most of my clothes. I think it was a great continence that the closet was equipped with a device that allowed me to pick anything from what I was previously wearing. A huge selection of cute embodied dresses, even those from my early childhood were there too. But today I decided to pick something that would be a little nostalgic, as it would be fitted for the occasion. What would be the best, I was pondering while stroking my hand against my chin. In the end it was the classic, the outfit that I was really accustomed with, as it was a very important piece of attire in my mind. Pulled the bottom drawer towards me to take it out from the dresser. Every time I have done it, no matter what I wished for, it was always the item of my desire. Since it was slightly difficult to look with my midget height, I simply took the outfit from it without a second thought about what I taking out. Of course it was what I wanted, the wet suit that I wore at the aquarium. This was both my favourite and my sentimental piece, I was thinking as I examined it on the floor. It was still without a stain, even after all the times I used it, and was carrying a slight fragrance of salt water into my feathery senses. Instantly I surrendered my nightwear, pardoning it somewhere, and risen my hands for the stretching material gently fall onto my body. Sliding down like silk, it soon warped around my gentle figure, making it feel like I'm inside of a old memory. It was a little while ago that I meet someone inside the dream world, which only happened once. It was a certain friend who I usually like and keep company with. However, since some little complications arisen, we were unable to speak recently. I still await the day we both meet in reality, but for now what I should be doing was to find a way to bring her back. This is the reason for my presence here, hence I decided finally to leave my room, while wiggling my way towards the door.

I was once again outside in the scape without colour, but two. The so-called monochrome room, was a destination hub that lead to many different locations, all of which I had to work hard to unlock. Of course it was a little difficult, not knowing where to go and what to do, but in the end I figured out all the puzzles and became the master of this expanse. Just like with the chest of drawers, I could decide on where to go only using a slight portion of my brain. With this practically ordered information, to begin my dive I only had to take a step and I appeared where I wanted to go. However, this time walking was rather impossible, but something else was in stead of the usual pathway. A ink container full with black tar liquid was below me, waiting for my distinctive limb to prove itself once again. I lifted slightly my contorted body and in an effort of haste I jumped down with my head first, making the dive. The eyes forgot light and my body started to swim inside of the sea of conciousness. There was already a list in the back of my mind, so I was currently on the way towards my first stop.

There was a flash of light, invading my eyesight, and the door was opened. I arrived where I wanted, inside of the first memory I recalled. It was a very dark and unfortunately sad for my hopeless case. It was still when I was a very young, not knowledgeable about the world and therefore ignorant. Even if I thought I used to do a lot of childish things, I learned from them now and became a better person. However, compared to previous times, the cause of me being here was different. I wasn't here to sink into the sorrows but to fix a mistake I made, and in order to see what else could happen. During the school days, I usually sat quiet, doodled or wrote something. At that time I was a fragile little girl that had an objective in her mind, as the daily life was a little boring for me. I remember the uniform I had to wear was really cute, but one part was really annoying. There was a mandatory beret to wear outdoors, but not indoors. Even though it was not the most fashionable item for me, I still wanted to wear something on my head. There was a certain reason to it, which was the fact that my hair was not dark. It was different than most of my friends, as I became a outsider among the students, an irregular. It was difficult to converse with other girls, as their perky attitudes were irksome for my misinterpreted self. At first they started swarming me with questions about my lineage, about certain cultural differences between one country and the other. But as soon as the charm of the freshness mouldered, it was clear that their selfish playful desires were satisfied as they simply left my broken doll-like body alone. It was hard for me to start a conversation so I tried to fit in somehow, but as soon as I decided spew guffs about my interests, I was singled out. Perhaps it was the desire to be different and talk seriously about border subjects like occult, but it never came through the way I wanted myself to be heard. Even with this silent status besotted upon me, there was several other things that happened, one of which this memory is about.

There was a girl outside of the class, trying to search for a good place to eat her lunch. Since it was summer and the weather was nice, she decided that it would be okay to have this gentle wind embracing her, while having the meal her mother made. This was of course how she planned it, but fate had something else prepared for this day. Since it was a period in which students would have to learn how to swim, children were often seen around the pool, even if it was forbidden to do so. There was a possibility of an accident happening, therefore the doors were locked. However, nothing prevented anyone from climbing over the fence from the outside. Of course, the water control was secured, there was no way anyone would get unfortunately wet. However, before the girl could scent the aroma from the opened lunch box with food, she heard a sound resembling a splash of water. It did not caught her attention at first, but then something else was received. A particular deformed voice crept through her ears, terrifying her to a point she would almost drop what she was holding. But the girl was not afraid that much, her mind was more focused on the chopsticks. Because eating was more important for her, she decided that it could wait since possibly someone was just making a joke in a poor taste. Still, even if she tried to ignore it, her starving pecker was refusing to swallow the pieces of rice, as her hand was shaking in fright for an unknown reason. The girl rested her dinner onto the ground, and looked at herself a little worried. Her body was in a cold trance, shivering and trembling. It kept on refusing to answer her calls to cool it down. Abruptly, something made her stand up and walk into the direction of the voice, as she was about to find out the meaning behind it. The true reason why she could not control her actions was that her mind was in a state of deliberately wanting for something obscure to happen. Because she saw a similar situation in a dream, a desire was made, and inside the reality where the patterns were aligned, it had to happen exactly like she envisioned it. This process is was given a name, deja vu, and it is a rather incomprehensible one by science since it is directly related to the free will. And so, the girl's false curiosity has lead her towards the pool, as she clumsily climbed over the fence in search for the voice. However, looking around gave no results even from up close. She simply couldn't see a person resembling a mermaid, that was hidden and waiting for her to be caught. At that time I was sinisterly flapping my bottom part, because I already knew I would reel this fish in. The girl called for anyone to say a thing, so I did respond with a bubble that was seen inside of one of the drains. The girl spotted it timely, and with her petite body decided to carefully climb down into the pool. But that was her demise, as I was in reach and grabbed her by her susceptible ankle, instantly dragging her into the water. It was too shallow to drawn her, as my goal was not to murder here. I was simply playing an innocent game and soon released her from my firm grasp. The girl instantly jumped, as she was really frightened of what happened and escaped the scene. Soon, as her clothes were dipping wet, people gathered to ask what happened. She told them that she was lured and attacked by a ghost that wanted her lungs to engulf. But the truth is, she only wanted to think that way, that's why she lied. She made up her stories, like the one with the abandoned shrine, and changed what was inside her dream into reality, not only for herself but for others as well. After that she was left almost alone, only one person stayed with her. This was a friend that I wanted to embrace my own dreams with and dive deeper alongside with her. However, no matter the words or actions, she never accepted them as something important for me. I always waited for her to respond to my calling, but unfortunately to make her understand I had to do something more forward. Just thinking about this caused my tears to fall in grief. And in an act of swallowing them, I emerged from my hiding spot to rip that other girl apart, which signified the end of this part of the dream.

As I caught my breath with my subtle larynx, the next memory I wanted to visit came into my recently cracked senses. I saw a girl inside a familiar of a room, fastened on a sturdy and rough hospital bed. It is where I realised something important, of who I was and what I was capable of. With the nightmares ruining my poor soul over and over, my fractured senses had enough of the therapy. One part of me wished that death would be available in the dream world, but another, more wicked surfaced. I was once again looking at the events being unveiled. It all started due the meaningless security measures that released the girl, so she could be one with the floor again. The bed threw her down without a notice, as her rugged lump of meat for flesh shed from her resting place. She felt like melting into liquid in order to have some sort of freedom, but it was not this easy. The doctor came in through the door and looked at her as if she appeared to ignore her with unsettling eyes. It was a little strange that the girl on the floor could still see her, while having her stiff face to the ground. The psychologist paid no mind to the sick person's current situation and took her usual resting place on the chair. They were both silent all this time, although the sitting one could still hear her dampened voice. The girl could not keep secrets from her, or had any privacy in this total institution she was staying. Therefore she simply decided that she would cease all movement and enjoy a bothersome presence of that person. The quirk's questions and monologues were always the same, always the same monotone voice and dull requests. To explain the situation the girl was in, she had a unknown disease called DRD, Dream Reality Disorder, that caused to take the dream for reality and vice versa. This boundary is important for a healthy mind, because the lack of it causes the patient to lose sense of conciousness and become lifeless, as if their soul was extinguished. The girl right beside me was in risk of becoming like that, if she did not realise which of the worlds are which. But there was something wrong about her still. She knew how serious her condition is, but she decided to forbid changing the thing that kept her from making a full recovery. This part of the memory was when the doctor said something revitalizing to the girl. For the first time in a while, her cracking neck turned in a mechanic motion towards the gentle voice of the psychologist. What was heard in the air was that the patient abnormal condition was to be put into a test for a new kind of drug, that would allow her to travel into the world she wanted. What that meant was to become clear in a moment, when the door was opened again. Suddenly the wind swallowed the worm-like corpse and placed her on top of a stool in another place. Now the girl was looking directly at my face through a mirror. Even if she was noticing me, and I did noted her, her pale face and expression was in a dead-like gray colour. There was nothing besides us two, but a brush that was soon taken away by someone. Because I was in possession of something I wanted to give her, I reached my hands through the screen and placed something on her lap. It was a ugly caricature of a person I wanted to leave behind, so this was the only way I could have done it. With eyes in the deep ocean blue, I watched as the other figure submerged into her conciseness. And even if this how the scene ended, there was still more.

Now I returned back to the room where the dream started. I was still equipped with my lovable pinkish slinky wetsuit that cloistered me for this long. Perhaps it was strange for someone to have emotions for costumes, but this one was strangely the one I loved the most, along with my mermaid's tail. Just the smell of it filled my deficient soul with exhilaration. I remember how it caused my mind to become in such a state, that allowed myself to freely swim between my conscious and unconscious self. Just being warped around it gives me the sensation that allows me to express myself in ways I could not before. Still, it feels extremely intimate and close to my heart, any occasion is good to wear it. While I was reminiscing about it, my hands, unaware of me, enveloped my second skin in an amiable self-embracing manner, which made me wonder about someone who was a source of a similar warm sensation. There was a certain thing that allowed me to see that person in my room, a strange ornamented mirror that was engraved on the floor. It was a wonder how it exactly worked, but I could always count on seeing something interesting each time. For example, the last episode I saw was the situation when I avoided picking the after product of the cows. Though it was also a little strange to be watching your other petty self in a different location with her insignificant life. However, it was rather convenient that the channel was open in our minds and we could communicate, though it was rather that I could tell her what to do. The transmission was only one-way, although I think she simply did not want to reply to any of my words. In any case, I wanted to see something new like a recent memory, hence why I quickly took myself towards the television while excitedly flapping my tail. But something was wrong with the screen as it only showed a static image. I angrily splashed it a couple of times with my lower limb, but there was no response. Bored of trying, there was always a better place to spend my precious time than on trivial affairs. I decided to check my own inventory, out of curiosity, because I still had to write something in my dream dairy from this day. It took a moment for me to snail myself there, since I was rather fond of playing around like that, while not being in an unnecessary hurry. I started to flip through the chest, which kept all my toys or what not, and discovered something surprising. There was a new item I noticed that was in my collection now. I was not really fretting how it got there because it was not interesting for me to know the origin behind it. But now what was inside my scale-shaded eyes was the strange pair of callipers. They were a little too sharp, I found out by poking my curious finger that led out a drip of red honey-like blood. That little pain was quenched with a mushy lick from my mouth. It was really sweet when I tasted it by the tongue, but the savour of the mystery was more enthralling for me. I took the object by the dipping hand, this time being careful to grab from the right side. Unfortunately my new play-thing was not as compelling as I first thought, but perhaps it would have its uses outside, since it was sharp after all. The only thing left for me to do was to write what happened today in the dairy and wake up. I remember that during my therapy the doctor used to write it for me, but since I was not longer a patient, it was a lot more fun scribbling it yourself. After I was done, it was the time for me to return to reality.