Kaiba hadn't been kidding when he'd called the citizenship tests brutal.

Yuugi chewed anxiously on the end of his pen, eyeing the paper monstrosity before him. It was a good ten pages long, the questions printed in a small, but readable font, at least twenty questions on each page so far.

It wasn't the number that made him balk, but the fact that after halfway through page two, the questions went from common knowledge to you're moving into a ninja village, so you've obviously memorized every law in the book!

Perhaps that was a bit of an exaggeration, but having been born and raised in a tiny village far from most centers of urban civilization, it sure felt like that.

Yami? Any clue about, uh… He tapped one particularly perplexing question with his pen cap.

No, afraid not.

Damn. Well, it had been worth a shot. Grimacing, Yuugi left that question unmarked and moved on to the next – which was even worse than the previous.

Dear Lord, how can they even expect us to answer this, let alone get 80%?

Dark amusement. Well, obviously they would expect an upstanding citizen to know their own laws, wouldn't they?

I've been traveling around the Great Nations for years! I haven't been in one place long enough to know the laws!

Until he'd managed to bribe the librarian in the local library to allow him access without a card, and read through every law book he could find. Those had been a headache-inducing few days.

With a groan, Yuugi carefully marked the answer that seemed the most logical, and flipped to the next page.

He stared numbly at the first new question.

Now, Yuugi liked to think of himself as a calm, patient sort of individual, and usually he was, but upon seeing the new bunch of impossibly more difficult questions, he had to restrain his impulse to bang his head on the desk.

Naruto was exactly where Iruka thought he was – Ichiraku's. He could hear the boy's loud voice before he even reached the entrance, cheerfully recalling one of his most recent pranks.

Good. He wasn't sure that he had the patience to go searching for him today.

He pushed aside the hanging curtains. In his seat, Naruto turned to look at the newcomer, and, upon seeing Iruka, broke into a huge smile.

"Iruka-sensei!" He sprang from his seat and tackled the shinobi in a full-on bear hug with enough force that a civilian probably would've been knocked over. "I thought you said you had a lot of grading to do today!"

"Yeah, I got it done early today." Which was true, technically – he had finished the grading early, even if the last few tests had been rushed. "So you've got me for the entire afternoon, kiddo."

"Whooo!"

He let himself smile at the blonde's exuberance, even as he gave the boy a once-over. Usually, Naruto was covered in dirt head to toe, and smelled vaguely like the sour musk of his apartment. Today, however, his hair and clothes were cleaner, with only the faintest traces of filth at the knees and the hem of each pant leg – likely from that day's training. The musk, though still there, was much fainter, barely noticable.

I thought he looked better than usual this morning.

"So, you look like you've been doing better lately," he said, letting Naruto drag him to his usual seat. "How are things at home?"

Naruto wrinkled his nose.

"I've been cleaning," he said, as if the word was the foulest curse he'd ever heard.

Iruka actually choked.

"You've been cleaning?!"

"Yep." Seeming a little miffed at this, his student went back to stuffing his face with ramen, continuing even though his mouth was full. "Apparently my apartment stinks."

… He was not going to snicker. Even if he wasn't officially on duty right now, a shinobi was supposed to be professional.

"Well, it does." he offered.

"It isn't that bad!"

In comparison to blood and rotting meat, no, it's not. Not that he'd say that out loud. His own room in the orphanage had been atrocious, he had no right to criticize.

Normally, he would've continued the conversation – mundane topics were surprisingly entertaining to talk about with Naruto about, if only to see his reactions – but today, he had a mission.

"Say, Naruto?" Easy there, let's start off easy. "Anything new happen recently, apart from the cleaning?"

The boy paused and hmmed up at the ceiling, thinking. "There's a new ramen here, does that count?"

Behind the counter, Ayame giggled. "I don't think that's what he means, Naruto-kun. You're usual, Iruka-san?"

"Yes please. Well?"

Naruto chewed on his lip for a moment, then perked up.

"I've made a friend!"

Here we go.

"A friend? Really?"

"Yep!" He bounced up and down in his seat, looking downright ecstatic. "He's from out-of-town, and his name is Yuugi!"

Yuugi. Definitely not a name of any foreign nin he knew of, which was admittedly a relief – you only really heard of the infamously lethal ones – but still, he couldn't afford to lower his guard. It could be an alias.

"Yuugi, huh?" he mused. "What's this Yuugi like, then?"

Naruto grinned. "He's awesome!" he proclaimed. "He doesn't hate me like the village does, and he comes to Ichiraku's with me sometimes!"

Which would no doubt put him in Naruto's good books right away, no matter the personality.

"I think he wants to know a little more than that," Teuchi commented wryly as he emerged with Iruka's food. He set the bowl down and pushed it across to the man, who thanked him and went to work on the noodles.

"Oh!" Naruto looked sheepish. "Well, he's really nice! He listens to me when I talk, and he tells me about places he's travelled to! He's traveled a lot!"

Shinobi travel a lot.

"And he plays games a lot. He's really good at them, too! He told me yesterday he'd teach me how to play a card game he likes!"

"Card game, huh?"

"He likes other games, too." Naruto said, nodding. "He told me he's really good at shogi!"

Which also means he's good at strategic planning.

"Do you know where he's from? Where he was born?"

"Hmmm..." The boy scrunched up his brow in concentration. "Well, no, but he sounds like he's from the Land of Fire?

Looked like some of his lessons had been driven home, at least – sounded like wasn't the same thing as was.

"So he could be from somewhere else?"

"I mean, maybe? But even if he is, that's cool! I mean, he's cool! He's loads better than all the jerks here!"

"So he treats you okay?"

He nodded furiously. "Yeah! He's always really nice to me, and when I'm feeling bad, he tries to cheer me up!" He paused, looked around, and then leaned forward and continued in a whisper, "He really doesn't like how people are around me – when I told him about my pranks, he told me to keep doing them, because he thought they deserved it!"

That sounded kind of… vindictive for a spy. "He really said that?"

Naruto squirmed. "Well, he told me that plus not to hurt anybody, because hurting them would only make them hate me more."

And possibly raise suspicion as to what sort of company you keep, he thought. But so far, at least, this guy didn't sound like much of a threat, if he was one.

"Sounds like he's a pretty swell guy, then." Iruka finished. "But, uh, be careful around him for now, okay? After all, if we don't know where he's from –"

"'Then he could be from anywhere,'" Naruto finished. He scowled. "Iruka-sensei, I do pay attention in class, you know!"

"Really? Then what's the hand seals for the henge, then?"

"Uh..." Naruto made a few signs above his ramen, looking nervous.

"No! It's Dog, Boar, Ram!"

"Eep! Sorry!"

Finally, Yuugi groaned, penning down the last excruciating answer on the last question. That took way too long.

Yami chuckled, but even he sounded a little stressed. Not one for written exams, aibou?

Oh, shut it, you were having trouble, too.

He stood up, stretching and brushing his bangs away from his sweaty brow, before marching over to the woman who'd given him the test in the first place, and setting it on the table before her.

"I've finished the written exam, madam."

The secretary picked up the papers, giving them a brief look-through, before nodding and handing them back. "Alright. Take this up to Daisuke Yamanaka, up on the second floor, to finish the process." She paused, then gave him a look of professional concern. "You want some water, young man?"

Yuugi nodded furiously. "Yes please."

Cold drink acquired, he meandered up the steps and to the second level.

Yamanaka, Yamanaka… ah, here we go.

The door labeled Yamanaka, Daisuke was plain and nondescript, but easy enough to find, thanks to the strong chakra signature behind it.

Stay outside, Yami. Just in case.

A murmur of agreement, and his shadow flickered as his other half made himself scarce, leaving Yuugi alone in the hall. He gave himself a quick once-over, looking for stray bits of magic that might be clinging to him – he'd found out through experience that some shinobi could sense the stuff, so there was no use taking any chances – then raised his hand to knock on the door.

"Come in." A man's voice called from the other side.

Yuugi frowned. Definitely a good call to send Yami away.

Yuugi gingerly opened the door. The office was just as plain as the door – wooden desk, wooden floor, plain grey-white walls. The only personal decoration the room seemed to have was a light green banner with a bush clover symbol painted on it with thick black lines.

The man behind the desk was far less plain, with white-blonde hair drawn back into a ponytail, little blue stud earrings, and the most intense teal eyes he had ever seen. They almost seemed like they could burn a hole in his skull.

"Just finished the citizenship exam?" he asked, upon seeing the paper in Yuugi's hand.

"Yes, Yamanaka-san." Ignoring his unease – he could handle this alone, he could! – he handed over the paper, and, when the man gestured to the seat before him, sat down.

Several minutes passed in silence, as the man scanned his paper. Yuugi forced himself not to fidget as one blonde eyebrow slowly crept up millimeter by millimeter, until the man put the paper down.

"Well," he said. "You're the first in a long time who's passed. A solid eighty-one percent."

Yuugi let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. So far so good.

The shinobi pulled a clipboard and pen from a drawer. "Now, the written test is only the first step. In order to make sure that you're reasonably sound of mind and that you won't inadvertently put Konoha in danger, I'm going to be asking you a series of questions. I want you to answer them as truthfully as possible."

He nodded wordlessly.

"If you're uncomfortable answering a question, let me know, and if I can, I'll try to skate around it. Ready?"

"Yes, Yamanaka-san." He clasped his hands together, hoping the slight tremble in his fingers would go unnoticed. No reason to be scared, I'm just a normal civilian who just wants to start anew. Nothing wrong with that.

Yamanaka set his pen on his paper. "Name?"

"Yuugi Muto."

He scribbled it down. "Age?"

"Twenty-three years old, turning twenty-four on June fourth."

Scribble.

"Place of birth?"

"Hisoka village. It's right on the border with the Land of Rivers."

"Family, living or deceased?"

Yuugi managed a faint smile. "Mother, Chiyoko Muto, father Kei Muto. They're alive, or at least, they were when I last checked. My grandpa, Suguroku Muto, died two years ago in his sleep."

Scribble. "Anybody else?"

"Nobody I know, sir. I think my father has a couple of sisters, but I never met them."

The shinobi hmmed. "Family troubles, I take it?"

Yuugi nodded, and the man marked this down.

"Any genetic complications in your family?"

"Unless you count the hair, no sir."

Teal eyes rose to stare at his hair for a moment.

"That's natural?"

"Yes sir."

"Hmm." He scribbled that down in the margins of his paper. "Been in any traumatizing incidents?"

Yuugi grimaced. "I had a run-in with a ninja when I was fifteen who threw a fireball at me. I wouldn't go near the fireplace for weeks. Does that count?"

"I suppose." Scribble. "Do you know why they were there? Any high-bounty targets in the area they could have been after?"

I might've become one of those "high-bounty folks" if Yami and I hadn't been forced to feed him to the Shadows. "Not that I'm aware of, sir. He was just… there."

He scratched out a few more words. "I see. Ever been traveling?"

"I've been to the Lands of Lightning, Earth, and Water."

"Pretty far to travel."

Yuugi shrugged, picking at his nails underneath the table.

"Have you ever had contact with shinobi from those nations?"

"No sir."

"Passports for each nation, I take it?"

"Yes sir. One for the Land of Fire, too."

He nodded. "Hobbies?"

"Gaming."

This finally earned a new reaction. The ninja raised his eyebrows. "Gaming?"

"Gaming," Yuugi confirmed, smiling. "Gambling, card games, shogi."

"Shogi, huh." The man wrote that down, eyebrows still raised. "Shogi's pretty popular here, especially in the Nara clan."

Good to know. Maybe he could keep in practice, for when Kaiba inevitably challenged him to another game.

"A clan after my own heart, sir." he risked, and earned a brief smile as a reward.

"I'd imagine so. Now, final question." He set down the paper, fixing his whole attention on the young man before him. "Why do you want to become a citizen of Konohagakure?"

Oh Lord, I hope I can pull this off.

He took a deep breath, clenching his fingers. "Well, there's several reasons, Yamanaka-san. I've tried settling down in some places before, but they were never quite right for me. They were too crowded, or too unpopulated. This place is a nice sort of in-between, and I'm far more comfortable with it than any of those other places. This place is also safer – I've had a few run-ins with bandits before, and have no desire to run into any again. Any bandit trying to attack this place would probably be suicidal."

A twitch of a smile in response, and Yuugi took a deep breath. So far so good. "Also, the people here are fairly nice. People are a bit suspicious, maybe, but that's only to be expected of a Hidden Village, and they usually don't let that stop them from being civil."

"Usually?"

He grimaced. "In the past week or so, some people started getting more hostile because I, ah, apparently have made the wrong sort of acquaintances in their eyes."

Yamanaka's eyes narrowed. "Who, exactly?"

Wonder how he'll react? No time like the present I suppose – I only hope he's not one of those that aren't to fond of him. "Naruto Uzumaki, sir."

The man blinked. Blinked again, apparently trying to process this. Then he let out a short bark of laughter.

"Yeah, that would do it. Try not to worry about those people too much – in my very professional opinion, they all have sticks up their asses."

Yuugi started, an incredulous laugh slipping from his lips. "O-oh, they're not all that bad, Yamanaka-san! They're just, er..."

"Overwhelming?" He commented wryly.

"Yes sir."

"Well, I wish you luck in getting used to them then, because as far as I'm concerned, you've passed."

Oh thank God.

He leaned back in his chair, giving Yuugi a slight smile. "Now, the remaining paperwork you need to fill out is here." He slid some papers across the table for Yuugi to take, and the magician stifled a groan. More paperwork. "Once you've got this all filled out, double-check it with someone here. Then you'll need to take it to the Hokage's office, to get it stamped."

Yuugi's heart nearly jumped into his throat. "T-the Hokage's office, sir?"

The smile grew into a sardonic grin. "Yep. It's the same with every new citizen." Seeing his wide-eyed expression, the man's face softened a fraction. "Don't worry about it. You've already passed the exam, and you seem pretty sane to me, so it's very likely that you won't be there for long – no psyche evals, no mind-reading. Just go in, get the papers stamped and your photo ID taken, and then you're out."

He nodded numbly, but his mind was already miles away, struggling to slow the jackrabbit rhythm his heart had decided to pick up on.

He'd have to go see the Hokage to finalize his citizenship.

The universe had it out for him today. It really did.