Called Out In The Dark
Chapter Four: It's An Endless Circle of Poison
Something's on your chest
Better get it off.
There'll be no one left when we set it off
We ain't gonna take it no more.
N.E.R.D: Rock Star
"Katniss, were you planning on talking to me at all tonight?" Peeta appeared next to her, his eyes searching her face warily as she looked at him for the first time since she had entered the banquet room.
She still hadn't decided how she felt about his interview comments, and seeing him now, eyeing her cautiously, face full of concern, wasn't helping. "No."
He immediately looked both downcast and understanding, "Ok." He made to leave, before he turned around again, "I didn't mean to upset you, or annoy you. I just answered the question honestly. I guess I kinda thought it'd help both our cases if they thought we were friends, or something."
Katniss frowned, "Why?" She was getting angry again now, and it was only the fact that the other tributes were around that was stopping her violently demanding to know what game he was playing.
"Katniss, I know you think I have some sort of secret motive here, but I don't. I just…" he ran a hand through his hair, and looked at her awkwardly, as if trying to communicate his thoughts with his kind, blue eyes. Katniss had no idea what he meant though so she looked back at him blankly. "It's just that if I don't survive this then I want you to."
Katniss' frown disappeared in her surprise. She hadn't even thought of that. Her stomach churned a little at the thought and she felt immensely guilty all of a sudden. "Ok. I get that." She tried to smile at him to let him know he was forgiven, but suddenly Caesar Flickerman was striding back on stage and the tributes' and the audience's attention was back on him again.
The tributes and their mentors all made their way to the viewing platform again, and Katniss veered away from Peeta and the others, finding a space near the edge, hoping she could escape more easily from here if her score was as bad as she was expecting. She couldn't bear to look at Cato's smug face if she got a One. But all of a sudden someone was standing right behind her, and a hard chest was pressed against her back as two strong arms reached around either side of her to hold onto the railing.
She knew instantly that it was Cato who had trapped her in his personal space and if it hadn't been for the lights and camera suddenly panning past them she would have stomped on his foot hard enough to break his toe. Instead, she remained silent and still, hating the way his chest's warmth was heating up her back and how she couldn't ignore how nice he smelt.
She could barely concentrate on Caesar's words as she tried to press her body into the railings to prevent any body contact with Cato, but he seemed to relish her discomfort for he pressed closer still. She was completely trapped now between the metal rail overlooking the stage, and his hard body. She had never been so close to a boy before and she could feel the embarrassment, and another strange, tingling feeling in her stomach churning up as she realised her bottom was pressed directly into his groin and his arms were brushing the sides of her breasts.
"Enjoying yourself Girl-On-Fire?" he was suddenly whispering in her ear and his breath was hot on her neck.
"Get off of me." She hissed back, barely able to keep her voice from trembling. The longer she stayed pressed against him, the hotter and stranger she felt. She started to mentally beat herself as she was torn between wanting him to touch her more, and wanting to throw herself off the balcony to get away from him. What's wrong with me? This is Cato- the District Two Career who can't wait to kill me and everyone else on this balcony. Why am I feeling like this? She couldn't even understand how she was feeling and she hated him even more when he chuckled lightly, his chin brushing her cheekbone.
"Scared about being the first tribute to get a zero? Or do you think that lover-boy's comments will score you some bonus points?"
"Fuck off." Katniss could only respond quietly, unable to think straight enough to give a more eloquent retort.
He laughed again, but was silent as Caesar begun to explain that the scores were ready to be released. She felt him tense behind her, and his lack of attention on her helped her get her own focus back.
She couldn't completely zone out the topsy-turvy feeling in her stomach but she calmed herself down enough to listen to the District One Career's scores with intent. The boy, Marvel, scored an 8 and the girl, Glimmer, a rather average 6. Then Cato's face appeared on the giant screen and he was given an outstanding 10. The crowd screamed in excitement and Cato's body relaxed slightly behind her. "Let's see you beat that." He whispered in her ear, pushing himself into her even closer still.
Katniss' breath caught in her throat as he curled one arm around her front, his fingers now grazing the underside of her breast. She could have sworn that he let out a low groan behind her too but she was feeling too irate and vulnerable and confused to do anything but stay frozen.
They were both silent, still pressed together, until Peeta's score came up and he reached an 8 too. Katniss was surprised and pleased for him, but felt those two emotions only briefly as nausea suddenly swamped her. Oh shit, here comes my zero and I'm stuck with fucking Cato.
And then her face was appearing on the giant screen and her score… 11! She'd got 11… she'd got the highest score… higher than Cato.
And suddenly he was spinning her around and pushing her backwards and she was flat against the side wall of the balcony, his eyes furious on her, hands clutching at her elbows and hips pressed into hers.
"You little bitch; you fucked with my head on purpose didn't you? You pretended you choked? How'd you get your eleven?" he was near shaking with rage and Katniss' brief elation was replaced with fear and fury. "You fucked with my head on purpose didn't you?" he repeated.
"Get off of me." She pushed her weight against him, flopping forwards against his chest with her own, still feeling breathless at the contact but her increasing anger now taking reign. "Get the fuck off of me you paranoid twat."
He let go of her then, and Katniss could see Haymitch and Peeta making their way over, faces alight with joy and confusion. Katniss didn't know if Cato knew they were coming, but suddenly he was vanishing out of her view and Haymitch was embracing her, stinking of alcohol.
"Eleven! Best score ever! Nice one sweetheart, knew you could do it! And good interview too… awesome. Awesome." He was leaning against her heavily and Katniss, though incredibly relieved, worried at how drunk he was already.
She glanced at Peeta over Haymitch's shoulder and he smiled, "Well done Katniss." He leant over and pulled Haymitch upright. "They obviously appreciated your fire."
She shrugged as they walked Haymitch to the bar where Effie, Cinna and Portia were waiting, the former beaming almost uncontrollably. "Thanks. You did well too."
She didn't have time to hear his response as Effie leapt forward and hugged her, "Oh Katniss! That's the best score ever! Well done! Well done! Oh this is such good news for you… you'll get the most amazing sponsors now!"
Katniss grinned but rolled her eyes as Portia and Cinna embraced her too, the latter whispering, "Your interview was perfect," in her ear too.
"I love my dress," she told him as they each filled up a plate at the banquet table. "You've got such an amazing talent Cinna."
He smiled at her, "I know. But I have someone amazing to create for. You're a good muse Katniss."
She snorted, "You've got to be joking." She piled her plate with some garlicky-smelling chicken breasts and turned back to see Cinna looking at her intently.
"Katniss, I'm a hundred per cent serious. You've done more for some people then you will ever know. You're an icon now."
And there was a look- an unreadable and heart-stopping look- in his eyes that let Katniss know, despite her confusion and shock, that his comment was completely true.
He left her there then, gawping, making his way over to where Portia and Peeta were examining the beautifully decorated cakes.
And as Katniss bit into one of the delicious chicken breast she begun to wonder exactly what all the confusing and mysterious remarks Cinna kept making to her really meant.
For the rest of the night Katniss avoided even looking at Cato and made small talk with Peeta, Portia and Cinna. She was feeling almost relaxed now she knew she had an eleven- and therefore a huge chance of getting sponsors. She couldn't shake the feeling that Cato's eyes were on her often, but she focused on listening to Peeta's stories about his cake-decorating, trying to silently make amends with him for her reaction to his interview efforts.
"So, wait, you make them all yourself?" she asked, butting in as he was in the middle of explaining to Portia and Cinna how he mixed different dyes to create a perfect butter-yellow coloured icing.
He looked at her, amused, and nodded. "Yeah… none of my family are really artistic but me. I mean," he shrugged modestly, "I'm not great, but I like it… and I'm getting better."
Katniss stared at him, stunned, "So the cookies that go in your window in autumn… you ice them?"
She and Prim had always loved those cookies- she had bought them for them once as a treat after trading a massive turkey with Sal at the hob; they were delicious, but more than anything they were beautiful. Prim had refused to eat hers because there was a red hibiscus flower decorated on it so perfectly.
Peeta looked at her even more intently now, his face curious, and nodded. "Yes, those are what I started with. I've been doing them for a few years."
And before she could stop herself she blurted out, "I love them. I mean, Prim and me," she could feel herself blushing as Peeta stared even more, "we love them. I buy them for us sometimes… but she won't eat them. She always say's they're too beautiful, too full of hope…" she paused, and realising how sappy she sounded she added, "or something," more casually at the end, before shrugging and avoiding Peeta's gaze by focusing on popping another olive in her mouth.
"Wow," Peeta's voice was low, and something in the way his voice sounded was enough to make Portia and Cinna leave the two tributes alone.
They were both silent for a minute, when Peeta said, hesitant, "Katniss?..." he paused again and she looked up at him. "Did you… I mean, did you ever notice me in school?"
His face was suddenly so vulnerable, so open and so confusing that Katniss wanted the ground to swallow her up. How can I possibly answer that? Her face must have betrayed her conflicting emotions because Peeta's face became more determined.
"Be honest, please. I'd really like to know."
And suddenly she couldn't deny him the truth; no matter if she believed that he truly was trying to help them both with his interview. "Ok," she sucked in a breath and looked him square in the face, "I noticed you. I noticed you had a lot of friends and always looked healthy. But I didn't really pay much attention- not until you gave me the bread that time." She stopped at the memory and they both looked away awkwardly, "After that I felt like you were always in my line of sight. It was like you were there all the time, and I had this constant reminder that I owed you."
She looked away again, "I think you actually saved my life that day." She said quietly, almost so quiet it was like she hadn't even said it aloud. But she had.
She looked back and Peeta's face was unreadable, "You don't owe me anything Katniss." He swallowed then and glanced down and Katniss couldn't figure out how he had reacted- was he mad at her now? Was he upset?
"I'm going to check up on Haymitch," he scratched his neck and looked at her again, still unreadable, "You should try one of the chocolate cakes. They're great."
And then he was walking away from her stiffly. Katniss barely had time to debate whether or not to follow him when someone else appeared in her line of vision.
"Having fun with lover-boy?" It was Cato, and he looked angrier than ever.
Thank you all for the reviews and for all of those who are adding this/me to your favourite stories/author. I'm very flattered and appreciative. I know updates are coming quite quick at the moment but I have to warn you it won't always be this way- I have a week off of work & study at the moment and I'm using most of my time trying to write all of this out in advance. After this weekend I'll be back in work so I won't be updating as fast, but I still hope you will all stick with it! Thanks a lot in advance :)