The Runaway

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious, or FOP

A/N:

Chapter 4 (Seed of Doubt)

"So, tell me about that jacket you're always clinging to. I've been wondering about it." Trina raised an eyebrow and looked at the brown sleeve, chuckling nervously. She felt guilty that she'd left with it, especially remembering the sorrowful look on Sinjin's face when she vanished. "That, and, I know 'Tootie' is a nickname. So…what's your real name? I won't call you it around Cosmo or Timmy if you don't want me to. You know, just us girls. We can go shopping after this, if you'd like."

"I'd like that, and yes, my name is Trina. As for this jacket? It belonged to a friend of mine. He uh…he's a long term friend, I guess, we were in Junior High and High School together. Same age, he still hangs around the school as a teacher assistant, sometimes people make fun of him and mistake him for a student. I would hang around the school too because, well, I wanted to."

She hung around Hollywood Arts because of her little sister, that was it. Then, there was also the Tae Kwon Do instructor who asked her to keep coming by if she still wanted extra lessons. One time, she was practicing her moves and accidentally kicked Sinjin as he was walking by. She chuckled at the memory and shook her head.

"There was a time when I kicked him on accident and the entire school laughed at him, I felt terrible, but he shrugged it off like it was nothing." She zipped the jacket up as a cold gust of wind blew into her, sending shivers down her spine. "He gave me this jacket the night I decided to come this way. It was more an accident really, because I left without realizing I still had the jacket on."

"Oh my. He never asked for it back?"

"No."

"Whatever happened to him?"

"I don't know. I imagine he's still down there working at Hollywood Arts. Maybe he's on his way to getting a degree. Who knows." Wanda nodded her head and walked beside her. Trina didn't often think about Sinjin, though when she did, she thought about him more frequently than anyone back home. "You understand, I don't like talking about my past. I don't want to bring my problems to Dimmsdale. This is a happy place, and I prefer keeping I that way."

"Just keep in mind, no matter how happy a place may be, it may not matter if you aren't happy yourself." While this was extremely true, Trina thought she was happy. She jumped ahead and turned around, walking backwards as she spread her arms out and grinned at Wanda.

"I've got a boyfriend that loves me, I've got you, Cosmo and Poof as a family. I've got a town that doesn't know anything about me, so they've gotten to get a chance to know me. I don't have to live in the shadow of my sister! I'm not judged, I'm not seen as crazy or jealous. What's there to not be happy about?" Wanda bounced a finger in the air, chuckling slightly.

"You're dating a boy with a teenage mindset. Not to speak against Timmy, we love him and I know you do too, but you have to think…long term." Trina frowned and lowered her arms, sighing heavily as Wanda walked past her. "Timmy is your first love, he was your first love and will always be your first love. He's a part of your past, Dimmsdale is a part of your past. You may love Timmy, but do you love him, or do you love the idea of him?"

"Idea of him?"

"He hasn't changed Trina. You have, the world has, but he's still the same way he was when you fell for him thirteen years ago." Her heart began sinking and she quickly followed Wanda, not wishing to hear this. "You came to Dimmsdale obviously wanting something. To go back in time, essentially. It's like…it's like feeling as though you're a child all over again, am I right?"

"I guess…it just feels nice to be accepted."She didn't think much about Wanda's advice. She knew the woman was just looking out for her, and for Timmy too. She did love him, she cared about him.

"All I'm saying is, you need someone who is going to be able to be there for you emotionally. Magic? Yeah we got that, but magic isn't going to whisk away all your problems. Timmy has never been in a real relationship, he doesn't know the work that goes into it. He's still a boy at heart and believes that he can simply wish away anything. If he saw you crying, Trina, you know what he would do?" She folded her arms and rolled her eyes, muttering under her breath.`

"What?"

Wanda turned around, raising her eyebrow and shaking her head. "He would say 'I wish she'd stop crying', and all that's going to do is damage your tear ducts." She chuckled at that, amazed that she could actually laugh in this moment. It felt good to laugh, uplifting and energetic, she wanted to laugh more often. "You need a man that's going to sit there with you and talk to you, hold you, console you and let you cry on his shoulder for hours if need be. Someone that understands the pain you've gone through and that can help you heal, one day at a time. Right now, you're not healing. You're not coping. You may think you are, but all you're doing is using magic and this town as a shield to cover and block out what is in your past."

"I guess."

"You're hiding, Trina. If you were moving on from your past, if you were ready to cope, you'd probably at least give Vicky a decent hello. Pretty lonely to live in the same town as your own sister for five months and never even say hi to her."

"Now you know what I've had to deal with for most of my life." Trina folded her arms and narrowed her eyes. Wanda sighed and bowed her head. "You already know what life was like with Vicky. Being pushed around, crushing on Timmy and being turned down by him for that one popular girl-"

"Trixie."

"Right. My family moves away, Vicky refuses to join us, and I grow up with the light in my little sister's eyes. Worth something! I meant something to her, and then I screwed up by helping her get into that goddamn Hollywood Arts. She met those friends of hers and just forgot me. All of a sudden I was nothing, a nobody! When those people hurt me, I went home and begged my sister to talk to me. She wouldn't even look at me! Her friend cemented what those boys said, that I was worthless and unimportant! I just ran after that…"

"Where did you go?"

"I guess the only place my mind thought I could. I don't know. I ran to a random place and sat down, it wound up being Sinjin's place." Wanda laughed and Trina raised an eyebrow, shooting off a skeptical look at her friend. "What's so funny?" What was funny about her sitting on Sinjin's porch? She was in pain, she was traumatized, terrified, and nobody cared enough about what happened to her to say anything. "I guess maybe I was aware it was his place, I just wasn't thinking about it at the time."

"No, but you said he comforted you that night?"

"Yeah…Gave me his jacket and tried to make me feel better, but by that point, my mind was made up. I was leaving. It was March, but I stayed in like motel rooms for a few months. It was the whole Magnate hotel thing that really got me to finally come in here…"

"Yeah. You miss him at all? Sinjin?" She shrugged her shoulders and looked off towards the mall in front of them. She never honestly thought about it before. She was too enamored with Timmy to think about Sinjin.

"He's a friend. I have Timmy now." Wanda tilted her head and Trina swept her hair over her shoulder. Maybe Sinjin could comfort her in ways Timmy couldn't, but what did that really matter? Sinjin was in LA, he wasn't there, he was a part of a past she was never going to look back upon. Sure, she missed him, just as a part of her missed her family. She bowed her head and grasped the bottom of the jacket. "I am moving on, Wanda…I can't look back. Just like back there, I knew if I looked back at him, I wouldn't leave."

"Uh huh."

"Stop." She closed her eyes and breathed out through her nostrils. She wanted to say something, but wasn't sure if it would be well received. "Sometimes I just wish…and I'm only saying this as a statement…sometimes I wish none of this ever happened. Sometimes I wish I never introduced my sister to that damn school. Sometimes I wish Daddy hadn't forgotten about me." She felt Wanda's hand on her shoulder and looked over to the woman with a steadily breaking heart.

"Even if I could grant those wishes, Trina...and I wish I could do that for you, but they're all life experiences…they've molded you into who you are now. You just have to have the strength to put your best foot forward."

"It's not that easy…"

"I know."

With a heavy sigh, Trina pushed her hands into her pockets. Before crossing the street, however, a woman's black limousine parked on the curb and splashed water on the two of them. Panicked and grief-stricken that water had gotten onto the jacket, Trina's eyes widened and her mouth opened in a scream.

A girl stepped out of the car, she was wearing knee high white boots and a purple vest with denim jeans. She had a cowboy hat and extremely long black hair. Trina growled at her, recognizing her instantly, "Trixie…" Trixie's shimmering blue eyes fell upon the jacket and her hand covered over her mouth.

"Ooh I'm sorry, did I get your jacket all wet, Tootie? Oh well, the water helps the tacky thing." Resisting the urge to lunge out and strangle this girl, she grit her teeth and watched her move across the street. Of course they'd met over the past few months, and they didn't get along well.

"Breathe," Wanda instructed. She wanted to shout, exclaim that Trixie ruined Sinjin's jacket. "You're forgetting something…" Wanda snapped her fingers and the jacket was dry once more. Trina gasped and felt up her coat, hugging it tightly as Wanda studied her carefully. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Is there any chance you can drop a ten ton anvil on her? Maybe her car?"

"No."

What do you think of Wanda's advice? Think she's right? I think she is, Trina is in love with the idea of Dimmsdale and with the idea of Timmy.