With my head spinning I walk on shaking ground to the only place I can really be myself and really have fun. I had been ordered by Father to sit on it for a little while but being the young girl I am I ditched to hang out with some friends. I got in some trouble and the good hearted men of the Wild Bunch saved me and brought me back to the Speeler that was when I met the colorful group and was allowed to stay-as long as I didn't mention any business to my father. Not that I want to brag but when I've got a set of cards in my hand I can't keep money out of my pocket. My finger presses the buzzer in my usual way by holding it down until I get an answer. Fred the Head's voice comes on the other end,"Who the fuck is it?"

"It's Maddy," I answer, unable to hide my smile.

"Are we in trouble?" he asks.

"That depends," I can't help but to smirk, "did you do anything wrong?"

The buzzer sounds and I laugh to myself. Everyone in that place was guilty. I walk down the steps and into the Speeler where all the usual suspects wait. Mumbles, always quick to greet, winks toward me, "Don't you get tired of taking our money?"

"Don't you get tired of losing it?" I retaliate. I ignore the blush his wink produces as I look to Fred, "Deal me in."

He nods,"Righto, Maddy."

I take the seat between my Handsome and Mumbles but I cannot look at anyone but Bob, "How are you?"

He gives me a brief shrug as he looks down at his cards. I had heard through the grape vine he just got pinned on a drug charge. Five years of Handsome Bob's life going down the drain because of some sneaky fucking rat. No one knows who the rat is and for a while I didn't quite care until Arch got pinched. Four years he was gone..that place turned his famous grin into merely a smile. I couldn't imagine what that place would do to a soft golden boy like Handsome.

"You'll be okay," I smile, reaching my hand to grip onto his shoulder gently.

He gives me his nice smile that is as polite as it is sad,"You are something sweet, Maddy."

"Oh, Ms. Cole, is that you again?" Good old Cookie's voice rings through the place, pulling my attention away from Bob.

"Cookie, I thought you were gone," I say with slight confusion, last I heard he was out of the area for some business.

"Can't stay away from you for too long," he winks, "All right chaps?"

"All right, Cookie," Comes the grumble from the boys.

"Want to be dealt in?" Mumbles asks, only mildly interested.

He sighs as he glances around the table, looking a bit conflicted. I can tell he only stopped by for a word with someone but the combination of great players we have is too tempting. He loosens a button on his jacket as he pulls up a chair, "Can't stay for long, but throw us in for a quick spin."

"Maddy, is that you?"

My eyes jump up to see the always good looking One Two. He has appeared from somewhere in the back but if I had known he was here I would have gone to him first. I lift my face as he places a kiss at the top of my head and I answer, "Always is."

He makes a point of roughing up my hair before turning the second member of the crew, "Mumbles, can I have a word with you?"

Their flamer banter begins and I-like all the others-have a good laugh, which is something I needed. Mumbles puts down his cards and chases after One Two. No doubt it's about work and I don't mind. The rules are: as long as their business was unheard my presence was undocumented. I plan on keeping it that way.

I return my gaze to the table and see all the fellas are looking at me in that weird way people do. I ask, "What's wrong?"

"We heard about what happend," Fred the Head says, the ends of his eyes drooping downward.

I immediately drop my eyes down to my cards. I should have expected someone to bring it up. Everyone here knew about my past with him, only people in the outside world didn't. as I shrug, "I haven't seen him in fifteen years. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" it's Bob who is first to decipher my lie. "We could talk about it if you want? I could take you for a ride. Clear your mind."

I smile as I press my lips to the gentleman's cheek,"Bob you are too good for anyone. Man or Woman."

I find myself enjoying the sight of his blush but he recovers too soon,"Thank you. You know, you're too good for that scum Matthew."

I put my cards down on the table,"That's where I go."

Although I'm not crazy about Matthew he is still my boyfriend and my choice. I don't like people disagreeing with my choices. Handsome grabs my hand before I can step away, "Now you sit down. I wont say another word."

I plop back down in my seat and roll my eyes over in Cookie and Fred's direction, "I bet you two have something on your minds, as well."

They zip their lips and throw away the key. I burst into an uncontrollable laughter that feels so odd I don't know how to stop. Unfortunately someone else finds a way. My phone goes off and I roll my eyes; it's my father. I look around, "Shut up! Shut up!"

The music stops and I answer the phone. My father's voice booms in the air, "Now, where the hell are you?"

"What do you mean, Father? Is something wrong?" I asks in my pretend innocent voice.

"I got Matthew here, askin me to take you off the business I got you on. Last time I checked, I didn't have you on any business!" he yells into my ear.

"I'm sorry but I just needed a momment to myself. Matthew was being way too friendly for the occasion. I needed time, I mean. You read the article yourself," I reply in a quiet voice.

"I told you not to mention that again," he hisses.

"Well, I'm sorry. I can't help it,"I explain.

"Alright you take some time to yourself. And you get over this. He was a no good cr-"

"I know, I know..." I interrupt, tired of hearing that about him.

"You calm yourself now...Then you come on home. You hear?" His voice is gentle and kind but I find myself despairing it all over again. Where was this kindness when I was young and needed it the most?

"Yes, Father," I recite the usual line.

"And you better not be at the Speeler!"

I shut the phone on that note and blush as I shove it in my pocket. I look to the others and sure enough they mimic and shout, "'And you better not be at the Speeler!'"

"Shut up!" I snap, sticking my tongue out.

"That's not very lady like, now is it?" Fred comments with a playful frown.

I stick up my middle finger, "Good thing I'm not a lady."

There is a bout of laughter that enters the room until Cookie breaks the mood, "He had class, your boy."

"He hasn't been my boy in a while," I snap.

"He will always be your boy,"Cookie sighs. I don't know what about his words make my heart beat so fast but it does.

One Two and Mumbles return and take a seat at the table. Mumbles picks up his cards while One Two grabs his own. He gestures to me with his chin, "What brings you down to the slums on this fine afternoon?"

I shrug, "I figured today was as good as any other to take your 'hard earned money'."

"Don't you always?" One Two asks, a heavy sigh departing from his lips. There is something about the way he says it that reminds of Johnny and I find that pain I has been hiding coming forward all over again.

I look away but my eyes land on Cookie who seems to be swollen with unspoken words, "Don't you look like a fountain of words looking for a break."

"You know how hard it could be keeping your feelings inside. Especially ones that could make situations..."he put his cards down softly to reveal his amazing hand,"...ackward."

I let out a soft giggle as I place my cards down before them to show an even better one. The men grumble and but I just laugh, "You take those ackward feelings and my 'hard earned money' and hand it all overto Handsome over here. I will see you another day."

"Now, where do you think you are going?" Mumbles asks.

I sigh as I stand and press a kiss to Bob's head, "Matthew awaits."

I walk around the table, placing kisses on everyone's head. One Two sighs, "You know you can do better than that scum."

"Oh, don't I," I smirk, winking at Bob. "Now I bid you all farewell."

I turn my back and walk away to let their goodbyes fall behind me. I leave the Speeler just as quickly as I came. I get into my car and pull the case from under my seat. My heart shivers as I open it to his face. I let my fingers cascade over his face.

Cookie's words invade my mind.

"He will always be your boy."

He will always be my boy.