Chapter 4 – The More Things Change
"Looks like you'll need some help, shovel-chin." The others also heard this mysterious individual's playful insult towards Kevin. Ed and Double D both looked at each other and then behind them.
Each word hit Edd like a hurricane as he realized who it was that just saved their lives.
It couldn't be. And yet it was. His voice was unmistakable, his timing no less flashy and attention-grabbing than the much shorter friend he spent so many years with, along with Ed.
Edd couldn't help but go back, thoughts and memories flooding his head as he heard a familiar voice from the silhouette in the distance …
It was a beautiful, starry night in the cul-de-sac. Still in the middle of July, the Napoleonic, self-proclaimed leader of the Eds had once again concocted a scam to raise more money. This time, he had the oh so brilliant idea of starting a bike dealership. In the break of dawn. At 5:30 a.m.
An eye roll was almost involuntary for Double D as he seethed at the prospect of once again, taking the burden of hard work, and a inconvenient time, no less, while Eddy did the smooth talking. He loved spending time with his two best friends, but nothing annoyed him more than having to carry the brunt of each scam along with Ed, who in contrast didn't seem to mind that much, looking as if he was up most of the night watching TV anyway.
"Lovable oaf …" Edd thought. He wondered if Ed ever felt the same way about having to endure borderline slave labor for their friend's sake. Then again, he also had to wonder if Ed ever even thought about much else than monster movies and buttered toast.
"Ed is ready for duty, sir!" exclaimed the excited Ed, as he effortlessly carried a cabinet's worth of kitchenware and appliances for Double D to assemble. Double D had a mix of horror and surprise on his face as Ed slammed the materials down on Eddy's front lawn.
"And what am I supposed to do with all this, Eddy?!"
"What does it look like, Sockhead? Build one of those fancy things, with your fancy, uh … Whaddya call 'em? Bluewrites."
Double D sighed. "Blueprints, Eddy."
"Whatever. Just make it look good, look real, ya know? That's all."Eddy put on the 'charm' and the 'dashing' smile, just for Double D. Little did the shortest Ed know (although it was painfully obvious), Eddy's efforts to cheer his friend up ultimately left Double D unimpressed.
"Of course." Edd deadpanned.
"Great!" Eddy smiled, satisfied. "I'm gonna get some shuteye, fellas. Wake me up in 6 hours."
"WHAT?!"
Ten hours later, Double D had not too long ago assembled the last 'bike' in the dealership. Double D couldn't remember a time where he was more exhausted and frustrated until this point. Eddy instead thought this idea was foolproof, and couldn't remember a time he was more excited about conning another kid out of his money.
If anything, Double D had to admit that these scams did usually attract customers, however disillusioned they would become after trying their tackily constructed products.
Nevertheless, it turned out that 'Crazy Ed's Custom Hot Bikes' failed miserably. Not that Edd was surprised. After the first (and only) customer of the day naively bought into the scam because of his love for bikes, it quickly went downhill after Eddy idiotically allowed the neighborhood jock a test drive.
"What's with him?" Eddy said incredulously, after being threatened by Kevin. "I did everything my dad does, how come he sells stuff? Maybe it's the tie."
"Well, it certainly couldn't be that we manufactured the bike from HAND-ME-DOWN KITCHENWARE!" Double D retorted, frustration practically seeping through his pores in the form of sweat. "Ten hours of hard work! And for what?!"
"To fleece the masses!" Ed said randomly and with little relevance to the situation at hand.
"Check's in the mail, Ed."
Eddy thought this slightly amusing which angered Double D even more and provoked him into continuing his tirade.
"It's the same thing! Day in and day out! It's so monotonous! A pipe dream, at best."
"You are not alone friend. I dream of pipes too."
Both Eddy and Double D couldn't help but roll their eyes at another extraneous statement from Ed."
"Boy Ed, who'd have thought?" Eddy said sarcastically.
Edd would have given anything for that monotony again. For the mundane scamming, for the mainly fruitless pursuit of jawbreakers that made his mouth water at even the thought of them. He would have given anything if it meant having any semblance of a normal life. He would have given anything to escape the hell he'd been living for the past couple of years, where every day was a close call and where every day he was lucky to be alive.
Some days he even wished he wasn't so lucky.
But there he was. The person who haunted him when memories would bleed into his dreams. The person who he would talk of with Ed and daydream of days long past. The person he dreamt of playing cribbage with, when they were all well into their golden years, with wives, children, and grandchildren. The one person he had missed the most during these turbulent, hellish two years.
"No fucking way!" Kevin said, astonished.
It was the one and only Eddy. The smart-mouthed, obnoxious boy with a reputation of concocting and committing endless schemes. And behind him, were a faction of six or more allies, looking as if they were ready to tear the monsters apart with their bare hands. Edd smiled, relieved and overjoyed, and Ed was on the verge of bursting in tears. Johnny could only look on with a visage of utter shock.
Without another word, Eddy rushed into the fray, and his gang swiftly followed. With their sudden intrusion on the assault that would have been fatal to Kevin's team, they rebels altogether not only outnumbered the beasts, but quickly overpowered them. The group of ten beasts dwindled – almost pathetically – to four, and the surviving brutes quickly took flight, away from the pumped humans. Double D, however, using most of his energy, was exhausted.
Eddy walked up to his long-lost friend. "I thought you could use some help, old pal." And, with a genuine smile extended a hand to help Edd up from the ground. Edd, with tears welling up in his eyes, gratefully accepted Eddy's gesture and stood up to get a good look at the dear friend he thought he would never see again. "I must be dreaming…" said Edd, dumbfounded. Eddy was almost as tall as Edd, not quite, but the gap between their respective heights spanned only several inches, and it was obvious through his defined physique that he became much stronger. Eddy now wore a helmet, which resembled an army helmet, and seemed to have something similar to a flak jacket strapped on him. He also had on cargo pants and grey running sneakers, which was an odd addition to his army-like appearance, but seemed to work for him.
"No Sockhead, I wouldn't let you die if I was real." Eddy said with a smirk, and pinched Double D for good measure, if for nothing else, simply because Edd's face just yelled out "Pinch me! I'm dreaming!" . Edd just ignored the smart remark – and the pinch- to just take this moment in.
"Oh, Eddy..." breathed Double D, who then quickly pulled his dear friend in an overdue embrace, was over the moon. "You don't know just how happy I am to see you." Ed covered his two best friends like a blanket as the trio was reunited. Tears silently fell down each of their faces as they relished in the moment.. Kevin and Johnny just patiently and respectfully looked on, with a solemn look on Kevin's face; Jonny's lips curved into a sad little smile.
They had a lot of catching up to do.