Title: Plan B
Chapter 4 – Past Memories & Future Plans

A/N: The flashbacks in this chapter are dedicated to the biggest Shay fan I know and a dear cyber friend. Enjoy!

Severide looks at Casey's sincere expression and frowns before he looks down at Aurora asleep on his chest and smiles before he slightly shakes his head. He picks up his nearby beer bottle and takes a swig, allowing silence to grow for a few moments before he speaks. "I remember when Shay confirmed she wanted to go through with Plan B. She got some chart thingy from her doctor that told her when the best times for her to be fertile where and then…man she was freaked out."

"Really?" Casey asks softly as Severide nods and grins.

"Oh yeah. The first time she said she was ready she told me what to do and then didn't show up. I went into her room after twenty minutes of waiting and she said nope, things would never be the same for us. I thought she was joking but she wasn't. A few weeks later, after that baby rescue she tells me her hormones are all feely right now and let's go for it. So again…I went into my bedroom and waited and…"

"She never showed up?" Casey asks with amusement.

"Nope. So I told her that if it was really that bad, that I would take out a loan and be done with it. She didn't like that either. We argued and another few weeks went by."

"Wondered why things were tense between you for those two months."

"I know. But I told her it wasn't worth our friendship and maybe look at adoption. She said no she wanted one that was all hers. Her own," he pauses as he tries to swallow another swig of beer but then stops. "The one night it happened."

"Magical?"

"Like something out of a horror movie," Severide gently snickers. "Insisted the lights stay off because if she looked at me then it would ruin the moment and she'd be grossed out. I was like gee thanks," he lightly snickers.

"How was it?" Casey dares on inquire.

"It was…strange. Shay and I are…were…damn we were so closed. I loved her…but not like that you know? We just had such a special bond. But when it was over she was like…ick I need a shower. Left and didn't talk to me again the rest of the night."

"Really?"

"Yeah. In fact the whole next day she would look at me like I grew a third eye or something. We never talked much about it and it was odd for a whole week and then I just had to be straight with her. She said it was nothing and so I figured it came true when she said about being with a man would traumatize her and I think it did. I asked if she was still okay but you know her."

"Tight lipped smile, nod and I'm fine," Casey adds as Severide nods in agreement.

"But then she started to worry about being a mom. Man she obsessed about every little detail about her job and her family life, her relationships. Everything. I almost feared she regretted the entire idea but she insisted she wanted the baby and that was it. Then when her belly started to grow she would make fat jokes. I think it was to deflect her nervousness but damn…after that first doctor's appointment…I remember her face…how it lit up when she got the ultrasound picture and was told she was having…we I guess we were having a girl. Matt…seriously man I don't think I ever saw her smile that brightly and you know…that's saying something. Ear to ear smile. She glowed. And when she was in that moment I felt like a million bucks."

"She was a great mother," Casey warmly acknowledges.

"After she found out we were having a girl she went to town on the room. Remember the first shopping trip to Toys R Us? Would Kelly Severide get his ass over to the pink section right now! You know for girls!" Severide mocks and then quickly hushes his tone when Aurora stirs on his chest. "I was so embarrassed," he snickers.

"You? She made me come next time to make it easier for you and we still got lost."

"At least she called us instead of using the overhead paging system," Severide recalls with a smile. "But she made the room perfect and each week something else was put in there. I told her she should worry about spoiling her but…but she didn't care."

"She didn't like the birthing part though."

"Damn I thought for sure she was serious when she said she was going to sue me for all the pain," he huffs with a smirk. "But when Aurora came out and was cleaned and we heard her first cry…"

"I think your dad cried more than she did," Casey reminds him as Severide's head once again bobs in agreement.

"Yeah not that he'd admit to that now. But I remember that little pink bundle being given to her and her looking up…she was beautiful. I mean she had carried our child and…" his voice breaks as he looks down at the precious little life form in his grasp. "Coming home a few days later was interesting," he lightly huffs. "Shay looked at me and said thank you and went into her room. I followed and then looked at her lying in her bed with Aurora in her grasp and I went and laid down beside them. After that we made it a habit to have a bonding nap just the three of us after a feeding," Severide sighs as he shakes his head. "We talked. Mostly about stuff for her room. The first few months were kinda uneventful as you might remember but then it was first word…"

"Mama," Casey smirks.

"Yeah, I never lived that one down. I woke up every morning begging Aurora to say dada first but nope. Shay won that bet," he recalls fondly. "Aurora's first tooth. Her first step…her first…no more firsts. We had plans…and she…she'll never see them Matt," he lightly sniffs as his eyes well. "She'll never see her first day of school…or her first boyfriend…first kiss…first prom…first…" his voice finally breaks as a few tears escape. Casey's hand rests on his friend's shoulder and gives it a firm squeeze.

"I remember you two trying to pick out names," Casey interjects before his friend can drown too much in sorrow.

"Trixie," Severide snorts as he wipes his nose and then shakes his head. "I vetoed it right away and she said she was kidding. I asked if I could have a chance at the name picking and she said if I had been the one to squeeze something the size of a watermelon out the opening the size of a lemon I could have the right to pick," he smirks.

"Ouch," Casey's face screws.

"I said okay fine as long as I didn't hate it. She agreed. Then I told her kids can be mean so we couldn't pick a name that kids could shorten and make fun of. She picked Aurora. Said it um…it would be because she'd have long beautiful blond hair and drive all her suitors crazy. And then…" his voice breaks again as he pauses. "Then she said no middle name but wanted her last name to be Shay Severide. I said no right away. I told her there was no way our daughter's initials would spell out ASS," Severide groans as Casey's lips can't help but chuckle.

"So instead she's Aurora Leslie Severide. ALS."

"Ah that's just great. Now she has the initials of a debilitating muscle disease."

The two of them can't help but laugh a bit too loud, prompting Aurora to look up with a sleepy expression. "Hey beautiful," Severide whispers as he kisses his daughter on her warm forehead. "Did Uncle Matt and I wake you?"

"Want mommy," she moans softly before her head slumps back down onto Severide's shoulder.

"I think we all need some sleep. You two warm enough now?" Casey inquires as Severide nods.

"Yeah."

"Kelly, think about what I said. Moving in with me. Give yourself a bit of a break from all the sad memories. Say yes in the morning."

Severide's lips offer Casey a soft smirk as they both slowly stand up. Not wanting to leave Aurora by herself after such a terrifying day, he carries her into his bedroom and gently nestles her under the covers and then crawls underneath with her. Casey puts a few more logs on the fire to keep it going most of the night before he too crawls into his bed and turns off the light. The cabin goes silent in moments.

XXXXXXXX

The night had been restless for them all, but at least when Casey had awoken in the middle of the night to Aurora's cries from a nightmare, he was comforted in the knowledge that Severide was there to take care of his little girl. She had cried and once again asked for mommy. And while he knows it was hard for Severide to have to repeat what he had over the past few days, it was something necessary to keep reminding his precious daughter her mother wasn't coming back. The nightmares, however, were a given for all of them.

Casey's arms fold under his head as he lies awake, thinking about his offer and hoping that Severide will agree. In addition to having the company he could be there to help his friend and also keep a concerned eye on them to make sure neither one falls too far out of reach. I hope they say yes.

Severide looks at his daughter as she starts to stir awake and can't help but smile down at her. He remembers Shay showing him a few pictures of herself at Aurora's age and even now it amazes him how she was developing the same mannerisms as her mother. He remembers the first morning after where he went into Shay's room and saw Aurora in her little bassinet sitting by her mother's bed and Aurora being cradled in her mother's arms; Shay looking up with a doting smile.

'Isn't she the most perfect thing ever?'

"Yeah," Severide whispers as he tenderly pushes away a stray strand of dirty blond hair and her nose wiggles and he can't help but smile. "Hey sleeping beauty," he smiles as Aurora's blue eyes look up at her father in wonder.

"Scatchy face daddy," Aurora tells her father as her fingers reach up and tease the stubble clad jaw within her reach.

"Oh really?" Severide grins as his lips rest on her neck and he pretends to be eating her neck.

"AHHHHH DADDDYYYYYY NOOOOO!" Aurora squeals as she tries to push his face away. Severide pulls up with a flushed and smiling face, his mind delighting in his daughter's laughter; the delightful sounds not lost on Casey either.

Severide's brow furrows as he looks down at her, remembering the time he hovered in the doorway upon hearing Aurora's delightful sounds and watching them with a tender gaze. Shay looked up at him with a contented smile before she spoke.

'Now my life is complete.'

"What's wrong daddy?" Aurora asks as his eyes threaten to water.

"I miss mommy," he states in truth as her face crunches. He figured there was no good reason for him to lie and the sooner she started to realize that she should be saying she misses her mother instead of asking where she is the better.

"I miss mommy too," she repeats, Severide not sure she was actually understanding what she was saying. But at least it was a start.

"So do you want to take Uncle Matt down to the lake today? The storm is over so we'll all be safe."

Aurora nods but not fully understanding the area she was in the night before. But she would a bit later. "Okay daddy," she replies with a loving smile as her soft little fingers tease his rough cheek once more.

"Okay that's it. Snack time on fingers!" Severide declares as he takes her little hand in his mouth and pretends to bite down on her fingers.

"NOOOOO DADDYYYYYY NOOOOOO!" Aurora squeals once more, laughing and sending loose dirty blond strands flying in all directions. Both of them look up to see Casey hovering in the doorway with a delighted smile. "Help me Uncle Matt! Help meeeeee!" She squeals once more as her free arm flails about.

Casey enters the room and playfully tries to pull Aurora free of her father's grasp. But knowing Casey's just as ticklish, Severide pokes Casey in the side and his friend laughs and pulls back.

"Ah Uncle Matt's ticklish too!" Severide grins as he lets Aurora go and she tries to poke at Casey's neck. His lips utter another laugh as he grabs Aurora and holds her between him and Severide. "Oh not fair!"

"All's fair in a tickle war!" Casey laughs as Aurora plops down on his belly. He pokes her side and she tries to twist around and tickle him back. Her little pajama clad legs twist under her body so that she's able to sit upright on his chest and look down with a grin.

"Shay taught her that," Severide groans as Casey looks up with a weak expression. The three of them tumble around a little, both adult males reveling in the happy, infectious sounds the little girl was making. The three of them then get ready for the day and all head into the kitchen to make breakfast.

After breakfast, the three of them put on their coats and head outside, thankful that while the sky is overcast the rain was holding off for them all.

"So did you give my offer any more thought?" Casey asks as Aurora slowly walks ahead of them picking the heads off any surviving dandelions heads that pop into her view.

Severide's eyes look ahead and then at Casey with a frown, but he doesn't answer.

"I know it seems like a lot so why not just try it for a few weeks. Forget about storage or whatever and just come and get a fresh start for you both."

"No I mean it sounds good but…I should. For her," Severide admits softly as Aurora stops and then turns around and holds up a bent piece of grass.

"Look daddy! Look Uncle Matt!"

"That's great sweetheart," Severide smiles as he finds what looks like a small daisy and hands it to her. "Do you like this one?"

"It's pretty daddy."

"I just want the best for you both. I worry about you two there and Aurora…I know this is tough for you both but going back to the city and to work. Her routine with Pauline and Christie is set but I don't mind helping out also."

"Look! Look!" Aurora exclaims once more as she picks up a large mushroom and holds it up. Her little fingers quickly push the foreign object toward her mouth, prompting both men to take swift action.

"No!" Severide shouts as he quickly snatches the mushroom from her grasp and throws it away. "It'll make you sick. We'll find you something that won't make you sick okay?"

"Want that one daddy," Aurora pouts as Severide's fingers gently tug down on her lip.

'Stop doing that Kelly! You'll make her gimped or something.'

"Shay always got after me for pulling on her lip," Severide gently smirks as he distracts his daughter with another flower.

"And you couldn't argue otherwise," Casey interjects as Severide nods in agreement.

"No way. To do that would be to take your life in your hands," he lightly chuckles as they near the part where the large tree brank had fallen on Severide the night before. His steps slow and he starts to survey the damage, finally realizing just close he came last night to nearly losing his life, or worse.

Aurora looks at the tangled mass of trees and then at her father with a frown as her brain forces her to remember herself in her father's arms, the two of them being struck by the tree branches, her little body being flung away but her father falling and not getting up. "No daddy," she whispers as her arms wrap around his neck and her head buries in his neck.

"I was hoping she wouldn't remember," Severide whispers as Casey nods; the two of them carrying on their way toward the lake.

"Well after a few day's distractions and getting a new room, she might forget the whole nightmarish ordeal from last night. How much did she sleep last night?"

"Not much. But then I didn't sleep much either. How about you?"

"A little. Brought back tough memories for me too."

"Hey man sorry," Severide sighs as they finally reach the lake.

"How's your head?"

"Still hard as ever," Severide retorts with a smirk. "How's it look?"

"Hard as ever," Casey counters with a chuckle before his expression turns serious. "Sore."

"Well it looks worse than it feels. I'm okay. Look Aurora, we're at the lake.

Aurora's head pops back out and she looks around at the lake. "Wanna go simming," she states with an expectant smile.

"Not today sweetheart, it's too cold. But I promise we'll come back in the summer and then we can go swimming okay?"

"Can Uncle Matt come too?" She asks as he points to Casey who looks at her and grins.

"Ask him."

"Uncle Matt, do you wanna come simming with us?"

"I would love that," Casey replies with a smile; Aurora clapping her hands in glee.

"Okay you can collect rocks near the edge but don't go in," Severide tells his daughter as he puts her down on the ground and lets her run toward the shoreline. The two adult males sit down on the nearby bench, the same one that Severide and his daughter had used the day before.

"Matt…I was wondering about taking some time…you know some real time off. Just to…I don't know."

"Just don't do anything drastic, okay? You know Shay wouldn't want you to take Aurora or yourself away from her friends and family. Shay's parents are very involved in her life. She needs that."

"I'm torn. I really am. Saw sign a few days back on the other side of the lake….business for sale and…"

"What? You mean leave for good? You can't leave 51," Casey implores as Severide leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees.

"There are just so many memories there and…"

"But she didn't die there Kelly. The memories might be tough now but there are happy ones too," Casey gently reminds him as Severide's head slowly bobs. "The guys at 51 love Aurora and she…you can't leave. I know it sucks right now and you're raw but…but you can't take her away from us. You can't leave."

Severide looks at his daughter as she sits on the shore and plays with the moist sand and a few pieces of driftwood. "She looks so content at times," Severide remarks with a soft whisper. "I want to do the best for her but sometimes I think I'm failing miserably."

"You're doing fine. She's going to have mixed emotions right now right? Just…don't go. Come and stay with me for a few days and then see what you want to do okay? But I hope you believe me when I say that no one wants you to go. Either of you," Casey states softly.

"Daddy! Daddy! Come here! Come here!"

"Okay sweetie," Severide gently grunts as he slowly pushes himself up from the bench and heads over to her and kneels down. Casey's eyes fix on the tender interaction and he can't help but smile as Severide's fingers start to build a little tree fort for his daughter to play with. Of course they were raw right now, Severide especially, but he couldn't imagine them moving away from him for good. They have to move in with me…we'll make it work. I'll make it work.

A few seconds later, Casey gets up off the bench and walks the few feet to the shoreline and then kneels down also.

"What is that Uncle Matt?"

"A moat sweetie…and this…is a little boat," Casey puts a small piece of wood into the little watery channel he created and Aurora claps her hands in glee once more.

"Thank you Uncle Matt! I love you!" She tells Casey as she kisses him on the cheek and then starts to put little pieces of wood into the watery moat. After that it's Severide's turn to watch his daughter climb onto Casey's back, playfully tugging at his ears as he laughs and tries to find a few more pieces of wood to play with. He hears her loving expressions and watches her kiss him once more on the cheek and feels his heart slightly droop. How can I take her away from those that love her? That support us? That wouldn't be fair to Matt…

"Kelly…" Casey starts in a soft tone as he looks up at his friend, Aurora still clinging to his back.

"We're not going away," Severide replies firmly. "I give you my word. I know it'll be an adjustment but I need to put her first right?"

"You do."

The three of the play by the water's edge a bit longer before it's time to get up and get going a bit; the darkening skies overhead giving them ample warning that another storm was brewing. They near the battered cabin and exchange worried glances as their pace slows.

Aurora looks up as they near, her eyes widening as they near the shattered entrance way. Aurora's hand tugs on her father's, making him scoop her up into his grasp and holding her close.

"Shhhh its okay sweet girl, you're safe."

"No daddy," she laments sadly as she looks at the doorway and then back at father in a near panic.

"We don't have to continue," Casey mentions as they pull back. But he had just poked his head inside and saw that a large branch had caved part of the roof in and taken out the floor where she had been standing. Had they gotten there 10 minutes later, she would have been swallowed into the murky waters and drowned.

"Aurora, when we get back to the city, how about we go and stay with Uncle Matt for a bit?" Severide asks as the three of them head back to the cabin. "Would you like that?"

"Okay," she shrugs as both adult men laugh. As soon as they get back to the cabin, Aurora is put down for an afternoon nap which allows Casey and Severide to plan the move into his apartment. The smaller spare bedroom would be given to Aurora and while Severide was putting his stuff into storage, Casey would enlist the help of his sister to get Aurora's room ready for her to live in and call her own. The larger spare bedroom would be Kelly's and Casey's mind settles that he won't have to come home alone anymore, or at least until Severide was sure he could live on his own with his daughter without sinking into emotional despair.

"And for the last supper," Severide's lips chuckle as he pulls open the fridge and then pulls out the last few steaks. Casey takes a beer from the fridge and the two of them talk about Severide's father, Shay's parents, work and Casey's apartment. When supper is ready, Severide gently nudges his daughter awake and the three of them enjoy a delicious home cooked meal.

After supper is enjoyed and the dishes put away, the three of them settle into the living room to play a game of 'Go Fish' and then play some dolls before Severide takes his daughter into his bedroom to put her to sleep. Casey listens as Aurora asks for mommy once more and Severide does his best to explain. But once again he hears the little girl's soft whimpers and feels his heart automatically starting to ache. The wailing wasn't as loud or as long as almost a week ago and he takes some comfort in his mind that as long as she got the continued reassurance she'd be okay. They'd both be.

At least on the outside. But it wasn't going to be easy or happen overnight. He also knows that much like himself and still missing Hallie that Severide might never get over missing Shay to some degree – or ever.

"How is she?"

"She's okay," Severide replies with a small huff as he slumps down onto the couch beside Casey and stares at the hockey game on the TV. "She still asks but I think that'll last for some time."

"At least she has you there," Casey reminds him as Severide's eyes lift to meet his.

"Yeah."

The two of them talk in hushed tones for the next hour until it's time to call it a night; both of them getting up, one making sure the doors are locked while the other turns off the lights and then both head into their separate bedrooms hoping to get some sleep for the night.

But much like the MO for the past week, Aurora awakens from a nightmare, crying in her father's arms and Severide doing his best to soothe her aching heart. As much as he had balked at the idea of moving in with Casey even temporarily, after watching them lovingly interact today he knows that Aurora needs to be surrounded by more people that love her, not less. Casey would do anything for her, for them, evidenced by his actions the day before when he risked his own life to save theirs. That wouldn't change. Ever.

XXXXXXXX

"So Christie is all set to look after Aurora tomorrow," Casey tells Severide as they pack up the cabin, preparing to leave. Aurora was already strapped into her car seat in the back, happily playing with her favorite doll, Alice, oblivious to the plans for her current living situation the two men outside are making.

"She's been a great help so far with all this," Severide mentions as he locks up and then heads toward Casey standing by his truck. "I hope she knows that."

"She does and she's happy to help out," Casey replies with a smile. "Okay so I'm going to start moving a few extra things around to make space but in all honesty, most is moved so it won't be that much trouble."

"Thanks again Matt," Severide acknowledges with a small frown. "I think this will do us both some good."

"I think so too," Casey agrees as they prepare to part ways for a little bit. But as each of them get into their respective vehicles and head toward the city, neither is fooling themselves that this new living arrangement wouldn't be strained for all of them.

And they'd be right. They just didn't know – yet, to what degree.

A/N: So a bit more brotherly bonding, some flashbacks and some lovely father/daughter time. I hope you all enjoyed that. But up next is the big move. Will it go smoothly? And how about all of them settling into a new living arrangement. It sounds easy but will it be? I'm so happy that you all are loving this story still and supporting it with your amazing and encouraging reviews – that's what will keep this story going longer (if so desired) So please do review before you go and thanks so much!