The plane was silent on the way back from New York. Cecile just stared blankly out the window in the front of the plane, and Howard just busied himself with flying the plane. Cecile hadn't said much since Finow. Howard had tried a couple times to distract her while in New York, but it didn't seem to help much.
"I saw my father, while we were in New York," Cecile said absentmindedly, watching the colorful clouds that were illuminated by the sunset. "He said, that death is part of life and that I just have to accept what I saw. He said, being a scientist sometimes means causing harm to other people."
She didn't expect him to respond, just listen. He didn't really know what to say in the situation either so he just let her talk. She swallowed, allowing herself to continue. "H-He told me that… that… he had three times as much blood on his hands than I did. He looked at his hands after that and got this blank, hollow look in his eyes. Like he regretted those deaths. Every single one."
Cecile got quiet again for a while before speaking up again. "He also mentioned my mother, Madeline. Said that he loved her and wished it turned out differently. I-I have no clue what happened to her, only that her and my brother left when I was very young. My father said that I looked just like her." She laughed a little bitterly. "But, the way he looked at his hands when he said those words, made me realize that it was probably his fault they were gone."
"I'm sharing too much, I'm sorry," She said quietly, noticing Howard's lack of response to her words. "I made it awkward."
Howard chuckled slightly. "It's nice hearing about you for once, Cecile."
She nodded, and the flight went back to silence. But, the tension in the air before seemed to dissipate.
"Howard?" She asked, looking towards him.
"Yeah, doll?" He responded, looking over at her for a moment before going back to flying.
"I'm sorry," She said quietly. This confused Howard.
"Why?"
"Spilling my problems to you."
He laughed and it was her turn to be confused.
"What?"
"Cecile, if we weren't in a position where you could tell me things, you wouldn't be on this plane now. I trust you, and you trust me."
"You trust me?"
"Sure do."
"But I haven't exactly shown you that you can."
"You've shown it to me plenty over the years."
"Like when?"
He thought for a moment. "Like when we first met, you showed me that I could trust you."
She laughed, "When you caught me burning a bible in an alleyway?"
"No, no, and I think that was Steve," He responded, chuckling at her. "It was when you got your father to get rid of some thieves stealing fruit from my father."
"Oh, while we were in primary school?" She questioned, knowing that she went back and forth between America and France during that time.
"You knew you could trust me just by that?"
"You didn't have to help at all," He started. "You were in a slightly upper-class family, even during the depression, and the fact that you bothered to help at all, just made me trust you."
"I doubt that, Howard," Cecile stated, leaning closer to him in her chair. "You just liked me because I took you to movies."
"Well, maybe that too," He smirked. "But, out of anyone in the world, I would choose to trust you with my life."
"I am glad you hold me to such a high esteem, Mr. Stark," She grinned, feeling a lot better.
-o-o-
Cecile blinked away the sleep as she buttoned up Howard's shirt that she took off the floor so she could answer the door. She looked at her wristwatch. "Who in the hell knocks at 3:30 in the morning?" She questioned and pulled the door open a crack. "Steve?"
"C-Cara, can we talk?" He asked, clenching, and unclenching his fists. He looked upset, his eyes were bloodshot, and Cecile nodded.
"Of course, sweetie," She looked back inside for a moment. "Let me get changed really quickly."
He slowly nodded and she left the door open a crack so she could have some light to get a skirt on and grab her shoes without waking the sleeping Howard on the bed. She tucked in the shirt as much as she could, considering it was twice as big as her, and carried her shoes to the door. But not before leaving a quickly scrawled out message on a slip of paper for Howard on the bedside table.
She closed the door quietly and slipped on her shoes. They walked in silence until they reached a bar that was in shambles due to the bombing in London. Cecile recognized the bar as the one everyone went to before Steve and his team went on the missions. She remembered singing there, late into the night, until everyone had left.
Cecile brushed off a chair and sat Steve down in it. "I'll get you a drink, how about that?" She stated, already knowing it really wouldn't do anything for him. He only nodded.
She fished around behind the bar until she found a green-tinted bottle. She found a decently clean cup and cleaned it off with the sleeve of her shirt. She then found a bar stool and brushed it off before scooting it over to the table and setting the glass down. She poured the alcohol in until the cup was full and took a big swig, wincing at the burning sensation, before handing it off to Steve who did the same thing.
"Buck…" Steve tried to say, looking away from Cecile. She didn't know him as well as Steve, but she was still his friend. "He… it's my fault."
"Steven," She whispered, taking his hand and rubbing his palm. "It is okay, I'm certain it was not your fault."
"He… he's dead, Cecile, and it's my fault," Steve said, his voice strangled and rough. This stunned Cecile, and she blinked, staring at Steve's face. She could see the tears forming in his eyes and hopped off the bar-stool. She swallowed and hugged him, burying her face into his uniform-clad chest.
"I...I…" She tried to get out but found herself unable to find any words. She had no idea what to say or do, so she just hugged him harder and he, eventually, hugged her back. "Steve, i... it is not your fault."
He didn't respond and she knew he was probably crying. She pulled back and chewed on her lip, trying not to cry as well. "James wouldn't want you to cry, Steven," She whispered, rubbing her thumb against his cheek. "I am going to fetch, Peggy, she… she always knows what to say."
"Okay," Steve choked out, taking another swig of the drink. Cecile sniffed and put the bar-stool back before going to where Peggy was staying and letting her know about Steve. Peggy thanked her before heading off to where Steve was still seated at the bar.
Cecile trudged back to the worn out apartment Howard and she managed to find in London. She opened the door and took off her heels before going to the small kitchen and pulling out some of the cheap liquor she kept just so she had something to drink. She leaned back in the chair and took a swig. She sighed and took another, then another, until the bottle was gone and she was slouched forward on the table, still as upset as before. That fact wasn't going to change. The only thing that would, is if she joined Steve and the Howling Commandos.
The light from the sun was shining through the window and Cecile sighed. "Might as well just get ready."
-o-o-
"Johann Schmidt belongs in a bughouse. He thinks he's a god, and he's willing to blow up half the world to prove it, starting with the USA," Colonel Phillips stated, facing a world map before turning towards the table full of people. Cecile was seated to Steve's right at the corner of the table and Howard sat beside her.
"Schmidt's working with powers beyond our capabilities. He gets across the Atlantic, he'll wipe out the entire Eastern Seaboard in an hour." Howard stated, leaning against the table.
"How much time we got?" Gabe Jones asked, looking towards Phillips.
"According to my new best friend, under twenty-four hours," Phillips responded, looking at some reports in his hands.
"Where is he now?" One of the commandos asked.
"HYDRA's last base is here," Phillips responded, pointing to a photograph. "In the Alps, 500 feet below the surface."
Phillips then threw the pictures in front of Jim Mortia. "So what are we supposed to do? I mean, it's not like we can just knock on the front door." Jim stated, looking towards everyone else at the table.
"Why not?" Steve asked. Everyone was staring at him at this point. "That's exactly what we're gonna do."
"That is crazy," Cecile muttered. "But it might just work."
Everyone agreed and Steve explained his plan. Afterward, Phillips dismissed everyone to get ready quickly. Cecile held Steve back until everyone was off doing other things.
"I'm going with you," She stated firmly, her jaw set and her brows crinkled into a determined frown.
"Cecile, no, you barely have any training," Steve retorted, causing her to sigh and drag him to the side.
"No one but Phillips and Howard know this, but I am an SSR agent like Peggy," She whispered, trying to explain everything as quickly as possible so he wouldn't catch on to the lie. "I've been keeping tabs on Howard, you know how he is. And, since I am also a scientist, I was tasked to help Erskine, who also tested a weaker version of the serum on me."
"He what?" Steve whisperer shouted, and she shushed him and looked around.
"I am just as good an agent as Peggy," Cecile stated. "If not better."
Steve sighed and rubbed his face, trying to take in the information. "I want to get them back, Steve. For what they did."
"Does Howard know what you're planning?" Steve asked, crossing his arms and looking down at her.
"Not yet," She responded, licking her lips. He thought about it for a few minutes, trying to fit where she would be best put.
"You can drive a motorcycle can't you?" Steve asked, causing Cecile to smirk.
"Of course I can."
-o-o-
Cecile drove behind Steve, the wind hitting against her face and keeping stray hairs out of her face. She saw a group of HYDRA soldiers fall into line behind Steve and she grinned, pulling out a pistol and shooting the tire of one of the motorcycles in the back, causing the man to spin out and crash the bike.
A flicker of light from Steve's motorcycle mirror caught her attention and she swerved into the forested area away from the group. Cecile kept the Captain in the corner of her eye as he successfully got rid of the men using various tactics programmed into his bike. Cecile slowed when she saw the tank and waited for Steve to blow it up before going in behind him and jumping the wall with the motorcycle.
Jumping off the bike as it slid to a stop, she avoided the fire from the HYDRA soldiers and joined Steve as his motorcycle exploded by the door. She pulled out an electric baton that Howard had developed, amongst other things, and lit it to life using a button on the side.
Cecile slid under one of the men and jabbed the baton into his side and hit the button, causing a large pulse of electricity to go through the man's body. She didn't bother to linger, and went onto the next man, kicking him in the gut and sending him into another. She then jumped up and kicked another man in the head and quickly ducked as soon as she landed because Steve's shield flew over her head. After standing back up quickly she joined his side just as two men with flamethrowers approached the duo, trapping them inside a diamond of fire.
"Eh bien, merde*," Cecile muttered in French, standing back to back with Steve. As soon as the fire stopped a swarm of men surrounded the duo and Cecile retracted her baton with a sigh.
* "Well, shit."