A/N: Of course, this is a collaboration with Kerry (bottomblainers).

Also, Thanks for the comments. Here is a little more insight to how Rachel and Finn were before. Also, we're getting to a point where she's getting past the hurt and denial and moving on to new stages. You WILL find out why Finn left. I know a lot of people are wondering. Think of it as a mystery book. ;)

I love you and your reviews. They are very appreciated.

Chapter Four

"Hey Berry Pie." Kurt answered the phone with a smile in his voice.

"Hey Kurt." Rachel said, trying to sound happy, trying to sound like she hadn't spent the last two hours screaming at a picture of Finn.

"How was your first day of rehearsal?" Kurt asked with excitement in his tone.

"About that, I'm not sure that will work out."

"Oh, nonsense. You'll be the perfect Kim, and you know it in your heart." Kurt cut her off and her heart sink, "Oh yeah, Blaine that is a really cute scarf." Rachel heard Kurt say a little muffled, "No, I like the bow ties you have. Do you really need one in every color?"

"Kurt!" Rachel shouted.

"Sorry, Rach. We're at Nordstrom. You should meet us." Kurt requested.

Rachel shook her head sadly, "Sorry Kurt, I'm really worn out."

Kurt made a squealing sound, "Sweetie if you don't get that, I'll be so upset." He barked, "Okay, Rachel. I'll see you later. I'm so happy you're back to work. I think that will help." Kurt told her and Rachel just didn't have the heart to tell him. At least not yet.

She couldn't have this baby, she thought as she hung up the phone. She couldn't. She had always been pro choice. A woman deserves to decide what happens to her body, right?

Rachel touched her stomach and closed her eyes, she knew she couldn't take care of him or her without a job. She didn't have a job, well, she did. But, Ryan wasn't going to be all about her being pregnant on stage. It was too much work, too much everything.

She should think about it, abortion. She needed to really think about it.

But, every time the word came into her mind her stomach wretched and her hands became fist. She knew in her heart she couldn't go through with it. She had never hated herself more than right at this moment.

She sighed and sat down in front of the TV and the couch wasn't good enough anymore. "I'm done." Rachel decided suddenly, getting up and going to her room. She pulled back the covers and threw on another one of Finn's shirts, his long sleeve thermal and crawled into their bed. She was surrounded by his scent and that made her feel better.

Protect her. That's what he had said the night before he left. Protect her?

What should she do now? Without him? What would he want her to do? Give the baby up? Maybe Kurt and Blaine would want him or her. It's no secret that this child would be bursting with talent. That brought the lightest smile to Rachel's face.

The baby would probably have amazing bone structure too.

Rachel shook her head, it was all too much. Much too much.

Rachel closed her eyes and pulled the blanket up to her nose and let herself drift to sleep in the memory of Finn. Thinking of him, letting her memories comfort her, rather than pull her apart. She couldn't do it anymore.

"Rach?" Finn called from the bed, "Could you stop pacing?"

"What if I don't get it?" Rachel sputtered out and Finn laughed.

"You're going to get it. Come to bed." Finn pleaded.

"No." Rachel frowned. "I have to wait for the call."

Finn sat up and pulled off his shirt, "Well, I'm horny. So if you don't mind…" Finn trailed off with a wicked grin on his face and Rachel turned to him, laughing. "What?"

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm going to take care of myself since you won't let me take care of you, and therefore me." Finn told her with his eyebrow raised.

"How is sex going to help?" Rachel asked, getting on the bed with her knees under her.

Finn chuckled, "Well, it will stop you from freaking out. It, like, calms you." Finn explained and reached out for her. "Come on, Rach. It's been a long week for all of us, and it's a new bed…" Finn waggled his eye brows at her and she couldn't help but giggle.

"Okay, if we must." Rachel teased and pulled off her shirt so their tops would both be bare and he pulled her in his arms.

"I've missed you this week." He whispers against her neck and she ran her hands through his hair and moaned as he kissed her.

"I missed you too, Finn." Rachel whispered.

"And, I love you." Finn told her and she grinned, feeling her heart flutter.

"Well, then, show me." Rachel grinned and he turned them around so he was on top of her, she pulled off her underwear and short in one motion as he fought with his jeans, Rachel kicked them off of him and he hovered over her, watching her movement and admiring her.

"You are breathtaking."

"Even after six years?" Rachel asked, her voice serious as ever.

Finn nodded, "Without question." He said sincerely his lips then on hers. His tongue took it's time to ask for entrance, but once it did she granted it immediately.

His hands traveled her body, rubbing her nipples and then moving down to her firm ass and gripping her tightly. Rachel clawed at his back and arms, pulling him closer, thrusting her hips towards him. Feeling the need to have him inside her, the feeling that she gets so often. Six years with him and she still can't get enough of him.

Finn grazed his tip along her entrance and Rachel exhaled softly, "Finn…" She moaned and Finn grinned against her skin.

"Yes baby?"

"I need you."

"I'm right here." Finn teased rubbing his nose against hers.

Rachel whimpered, "You know what I mean."

Finn continued to tease her with his tip, "I don't know what you're saying, Rach."

Rachel panted and ran her nails down his back softly, "Please Finn, why are you being so mean?"

"I just want to say it, baby. It's so hot." Finn growled and Rachel grinned back.

Rachel reached her mouth up to his ear and whispered lightly, "I want you inside of me."

Finn plunged inside her with her words and Rachel's head fell back in passion. "Oh damn, Rach. You're so wet." Finn grunted and swiftly moved his hips forward and backwards as Rachel met his trusts. "I love fucking you."

"I love when you fuck me too, baby." Rachel breathed back, biting the inside of her lip.

Finn smiled and let his lip crash onto Rachel's and she tugged on his hair, sweat forming on her naked body, but she didn't care. She was with him. He didn't seem to mind either. Her best nights were spent this way. She loved every second of it.

Rachel woke up the next morning, actually feeling rested. Dreaming about Finn was delusional, ridiculous, off the wall crazy, but she had to. She had to remember, because if she didn't she would lose him. And if she lost him, she'd lose herself. She knew it. She hated it, but she knew it.

She found herself reaching for him and started to cry when all she felt were blankets, she put her hand on her stomach and caressed it to soothe it. This is the longest she had gone without morning sickness.

Stress causes morning sickness. She had read that once. And if Finn could relieve that, his memory anyway, she would keep it around. She dried her tears and snuggled his favorite pillow, letting herself fall into another blissful sleep.

She needed it. She knew the baby needed it too, and now she had to take care of not only herself, but this kid too.