Talk Like a Pirate Day IV
Author's Note: Here it is, another one-shot devoted to this year's Talk Like a Pirate Day. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean nor Talk Like a Pirate Day. I receive profit from neither, only enjoyment!
Governor Weatherby Swann slumped in one of the jail cells in the fort in Port Royale. He was seriously considering turning pirate, if he got out of this situation alive, that was.
Things had gone so terribly wrong. He had been so sure that he was going to be able to get Elizabeth safely out of the Caribbean. But somehow Beckett had found out about his plan, sending Mercer down to the docks to intercept his letter. Swann was sorry that the captain had been killed. Now he was stuck in jail, he had no idea where his daughter was, and to top it all off, he had the most annoying cell-mates, scum he could never have imagined himself in the company of!
"'Ere now, Guv'ner, don' be so glum. It's Talk Like a Pirate Day, it is, and we all should be celebratin', right we should." The man speaking was a pirate, obviously, dressed in a faded red waistcoat and a black bandanna around his head.
"But we don't have no rum," said the other prisoner, also a pirate, a short man, with a peg-leg, and hoop earrings in both ears.
"Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum! Aye, but we can still talk like pirates, even if we can't drink like 'em. Arrrgghhh!" This last word was so loud and so sudden that Governor Swann winced. But he also perked up a bit at all this talk about talking like a pirate.
"Would you two gentlemen be so kind as to teach me how to talk like a pirate?"
"Arrrgh, so yer not just a lubber," said Bandanna Pirate. "We'll do our best to teach ye, but we don't have no rum, so we'll 'ave to improvise."
"Hmm, 'improvise' is an awfully big word for a pirate to use," Swann mused.
"Just 'cause we're scurvy miscreants don't mean we're stupid! Arrrgh!"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything. Now, I have a question -- which is the proper word usage -- 'Arrrgh!' or 'Arrr!'?"
"Well, now that would depend on who yer talkin' to. Some pirates say 'Arrrgh!' and some say 'Arrr!' It really don't make no difference. Sorta like that mythical sea beastie -- some pronounce it 'kray-ken' and some say it 'kracken.' Either way it's still a kraken and somethin' you don't want to be be runnin' into if you want to keep livin' and breathin'."
"But 'kracken' is closer to the original Scandinavian," pointed out Peg-Leg, who Swann had begun to think had fallen asleep, but was in fact just resting his eyes for a spell.
"Arrrgh! But we're not original Scandinavians, are we? Shut up, ye filthy bilge rat! Now, Guv'ner, you should also know how to insult someone if they cross you."
Swann thought about Cutler Beckett and how he'd certainly like to tell him a thing or two. "All right, then, what would I say to them?"
"Callin' a man a lubber is always real insultin' and you could always call him a bilge rat. 'Scurvy dog' is a good one, too."
"I'll be sure to keep all that in mind."
Just then, a guard approached Swann's cell. "Lord Beckett requires your presence, Mr. Swann."
"That's Governor Swann to you, you scurvy bilge-rat!" Swann exclaimed, leaving the jail with the guard, and tossing a triumphant grin back at Bandanna Pirate and Peg-Leg Pirate.
"That one would make a tolerable pirate. He just needs a bit o' practice in the talkin' part."
"Arrrggghhh!" Peg Leg agreed. "I wish we had some rum."
Author's Note: Please review, savvy? Enjoy yer Talk Like a Pirate Day. See ye next year!