Watch as I enter the deep recesses of Russia's mind…let's hope I get out alive!

Russia loved being the conductor. As conductor, he had control over all the nations - control over when they played, how they played, when they talked, when they ate, when they could leave, when they could sleep - let's just say it was a job perfect for a Russian man who liked to manipulate people and intimidated others easily.

But how much control did Russia really have over the orchestra? He decided to find out! The nations were all talking now - it was their time to have a break - but the break would be over in about thirty seconds. And Russia would be the one to tell them to stop, and make them sit down, and make them pick up their instruments and play without stopping for the next half-hour...kolkolkolkol! The whole world was at his mercy!

Russia stood on the tall podium and banged his baton forcefully against the stand. Clink! Clink! Nothing happened! Everyone kept on talking. Russia caught snatches of conversation: "...and America screamed like a little girl!" "I wonder where Germany ran off to…" "...I vant my awesome Stradivarius!"

His baton wasn't powerful enough! Russia didn't have the control that he longed for! What could he do?

He hit the stand harder with his baton. And harder, and harder, and harder, until he was whacking the baton against the stand with all his might!

Silence.

Pure silence.

The nations of the world gazed up at him, open-mouthed. "Is Russia insane?" somebody whispered, Russia couldn't tell who. (It was Canada, by the way.)

So they thought he was crazy. Russia didn't mind; he was used to that! In fact, he thought they were crazy! None of them liked sunflowers, matryoshka dolls, or killing people. You had to be completely insane not to like sunflowers! Or matryoshka dolls.

But now he had control. As the countries looked up at him, they became one with his baton, and would willingly do whatever he ordered them to do.

Russia lifted up his baton delicately. The orchestra lifted up their instruments the same way. Russia put down his baton rapidly. The orchestra put down their instruments as fast as they could, some clumsier countries nearly dropping theirs. This was fun!

Russia decided to allow his nations - well, he guessed he could call them 'his nations' now, because they were under his control - to finally play. He lifted up his baton again, watching as the countries did the same with their instruments. He spread his arms apart and moved them up and down, back and forth - the signal for the orchestra to start playing. They did so, but it was much too slow!

Russia's character song was fast.

Faster! Faster! Faster! Russia moved his arms in a circular motion as fast as he could. Hee hee! It sounded like the whole song was on fast-forward! Looking down at his music, Russia saw that the orchestra was about to come to a super-fast part in the song. He looked up to see how the nations would react.

Oh, it was so funny! A childlike smile spread across Russia's face as he took in the sight. There was America, blowing into his trumpet until he was practically blue in the face. Italy, stuffing pasta into his mouth as fast as he could. Prussia, sawing his bow across his violin (not a Stradivarius!) until his strings were actually cut in half! England, his fingers traveling up and down his bassoon at lightning speed, Canada, who he couldn't see but was sure was doing something entertaining, and France, who had given up and was lying half-collapsed in his chair.

And his Baltics! Oh, his silly, silly Baltics. Lithuania and Estonia looked completely frazzled as they balanced their single violin between their shoulders. Estonia was bowing as fast as he could and Lithuania was attempting to play the notes, but he really couldn't play them well because Latvia was in the way. Latvia was crying as he played, glancing up at Russia ever so often as if he was making sure the Russian was actually serious about this otherworldly tempo.

So it was a little too fast for his nations, da?

Russia dropped his arms, signaling the orchestra to stop playing. It did, yes, it stopped, but with some...'repercussions'. Well, only one, really...Prussia flew out of his seat from the sheer speed of his playing and hit Austria's piano, causing the keys to make an awful sound. Austria, while shouting at Prussia, accidentally hit a music stand with his frantically gesturing arms and it fell onto another music stand, creating a domino effect that resulted in every music stand in the room falling over. Nations yelled, music scattered everywhere, and...the music looked like snow!

Russia loved snow!

"SNEG!" he shouted happily, as he hopped off his podium and ran to the center of the room, where the sheet music flying through the air did indeed resemble snowflakes.

Russia was a child once again, skating on the beautiful ice that was his favorite part of the cold yet wonderful Russian winters. Oh, how he wished his older sister Ukraine could see him now, as he leaped and spun on the glistening frozen snow. He saw other countries pointing at him through a brilliant snowy fog, as if they were marveling at his talent. He had to admit, it was fun to show off once in a while. Maybe, when he went home from the frozen pond, Ukraine would bake him some yummy cookies in reward for how well he'd skated! Just the thought of her delicious food made him want to jump some more, to do an arabesque and swirl around the ice like a beautiful ballerina-

The door opened, scattering the "snow" around the room. Then it slammed shut with a bang, as if the person who'd opened it was too surprised to close it properly.

"What the heck-aru? My plane is one hour late and what do I find: the room a mess, instruments everywhere, and Russia dancing ballet on top of a chair?"

The nations stopped their loud chaotic...whatever-they-were-doing, something involving the Bad Touch Trio and a pasta-eating contest(?), and looked around.

Sure enough, Russia was twirling around on one foot with his eyes closed. "Cookies," he sighed dreamily.

The countries exploded in laughter, but were immediately silenced by a nasty look and a threatening, "Kolkolkolkolkolkol!" from the Russian.

A smirking America whispered to Prussia, "I didn't know the commie danced ballet!"

"IT'S NOT BALLET, IT'S ICE-SKATING! KOLKOLKOLKOL!"

"Oh...sorry, Russia dude!" said America, still half-laughing.

Russia shook his head as if to clear it, then stomped back up onto the podium and raised his baton.

"Uh, what do you think you're doing-aru?" An angry China was clutching his own baton, which was a brilliant shade of red, and was glaring at the Russian.

"I'm the conductor, da?"

"No you're not-aru! I'm the conductor! My plane was late, that's why I wasn't here earlier! So go somewhere else, Russia, it's my turn to conduct!"

"Nyet, China. I was here first. This is my orchestra, not yours."

"No!"

"DA!" Russia grabbed the closest thing to him - Latvia's violin - and threw it at China. He missed, but it was the final straw for the Chinese man, who angrily threw a music stand back at Russia.

"WORLD WAR THREE!" the nations of the world shouted joyfully.

Kolkolkol, Russia is always so much fun to write! He's super over-possessive and creepy, but he really is nothing but a child inside. The only bad part is that I keep thinking like Russia now...the world will become one with me, da?

Thank you to everyone who became one with my story...ah, I mean everyone who reviewed, followed, and favorited!

Glossary:

Sneg (Russian) - snow

Nyet (Russian) - no

Da (Russian) - yes