Lily tossed and turned in bed that night thinking about what had happened at dinner with James. She couldn't believe what had happened when he had kissed her. All of those years of built up anger and frustration must have done something to her head. What had she been thinking?
She hadn't been thinking, that was it. She had not been thinking. How else would she have opened up so much to James? She wouldn't have.
Giving up on getting any more sleep that night she got up and pulled out her pensieve from under her bed. She had gotten one a few months back when things had been bad for her, and her only surviving friend suggested it. After she pulled out a few of the silvery strands of memories and went back to her bed, pulling the large bowl up with her. The first one that caught her eye was the one from a few months ago when she had first found out about her parents.
"Wake up, bitch," she heard Petunia's cruel voice waking her up from a peaceful night's rest.
"Go away!" Lily screamed pulling a pillow over her head.
"They're dead," Petunia whispered, pulling the pillow off of Lily's head.
Lily ignored what her sister had just said, figuring that she was lying.
Lily got up when Petunia had pulled the blankets off of her. "Prove it," Lily said pulling on some more decent clothes. Petunia grabbed her arm and led her down the stairs. There were men in uniform milling around the living room.
"Are you Miss Lily Evans?" asked one of the men. He looked vaguely familiar to her.
"Yes, I am, what is this about?" she asked hurriedly.
"Can we speak somewhere…more private?" he asked. Lily nodded and led him down the hall and into the kitchen.
"Your parents were attacked by Voldemort last night. They survived the attack with their lives, but not their minds. They are currently in a hospital, I'm very sorry, Miss Evans," he said quickly.
"Petunia said that they were dead though, how did they manage to survive?" Lily asked quietly.
"That's it, know one knows. All they know is that a killing curse was sent at them, and I don't know, maybe they dodged it in enough time, when we go back out there I'm going to obliviate everyone else's memories, all those men in suits are muggles, every last one. They all witnessed what happened. It was a very large attack and it's going to take weeks to clean this one up," he said in a hushed tone as he headed for the door back out to the rest of the people that were in the house. Lily followed him out.
Lily got out of that memory as quickly as possible. She relived it every night in her dreams, she didn't need to relive it in her waking hours too. That day had changed her life forever…what she had found out that night about Voldemort was horrible. She went into another memory. This one was from Graduation Day.
They had all just received their diplomas and everyone was in the common room celebrating. Lily sat in one of the less crowded corners with her friends, Maggie and Cecile. Her other friend, Lauren, was out somewhere with a Ravenclaw guy. They hadn't seen her since they exited the Great Hall after the ceremony.
She could see herself talking quietly with her two friends. Maggie had short blonde curly hair and sea-green eyes. She was shorter than most of the other girls in their year, but a lot nicer than the majority of the female population. Cecile was tall and had dark brown hair and matching eyes. She was a bit controlling and self-centered, but she could be a great friend the majority of the time.
Lily looked around the room and saw James. He was with his friends, as usual. He was smiling and flirting with a whole bunch of girls who were hanging on him and his friends. Lily felt a little pang of jealousy, but quickly pushed it away. She couldn't possibly fall for James. Not after all she had worked through.
James walked over to the Lily in her memory and said something. She quickly slapped him across the face. Lily laughed then. James turned around and walked away. She couldn't see the expression on his face, but she assumed that he bounced back to happy. Out of curiosity she followed him and saw that he went immediately back up to his dormitory.
Lily was following him quietly, but reminded herself that she wasn't actually there and could make as much "noise" as she wanted.
James slammed the door shut right after Lily got in. Which once again didn't matter because she could just go through it.
James threw the glass he had been drinking out of down on the ground. The glass shattered into a million pieces and the punch that had been inside it splattered on the hard floor, making puddles everywhere. He picked up a lamp that had been on a small dresser by the door and threw it across the room too. It also shattered but then it returned and repaired itself to the dresser.
Lily had never known what an effect that she had on James. She never knew that James had cared so much. Lily pulled herself out of the memory and went back to bed, content.
A few more days passed and with each day she got to know James better, the more she actually cared about him. James seemed to be going in the opposite direction. It seemed that with each passing day, the more he seemed to avoid her. Finally there was no avoiding her. It was the day of the rehearsal.
"James we've got to be there now!" Lily screamed. She had been staying at James's for the past few days. She figured that in a few days she'd be living there permanently, she might as well get used to it.
James came down the stairs just then. "Come on," he said quickly. There was no emotion in his voice whatsoever. She couldn't head anger, or sadness, or rejection.
Lily followed him out the door and down a few blocks to the park. It was beautifully set up for tomorrow's wedding. It was a crisp autumn day and Lily inhaled the smell of a late barbecue somewhere in the neighborhood. There were people walking quickly around the park, and they seemed to be trying to get things done.
Lily had finally figured out what she was going to do for bridesmaids. Lauren was still around and she was going to be her maid of honor, and for the other two she needed for the last Marauders in the group she chose a few childhood friends that she hadn't really been in touch with. They were thrilled to see her, and quickly obliged.
"Where is the bride?" said one of the bridesmaids in a hurry.
"Right here," Lily replied walking up behind her. It was her first childhood friend. She had long blonde hair and her name was Katie. She smiled and hugged Lily.
"Are you nervous?" she asked smiling.
"Sure," Lily replied smiling, pulling her coat tighter around her. James wrapped his arm around her. It was the first time he had touched her in the past few days. Lily pulled away from him.
Lily went through the whole rehearsal in a daze. She saw James also not paying any real attention. Finally the whole thing was over and they were at the rehearsal dinner. James was down a few chairs from her, not what usual tradition calls for, but Lily shrugged it off.
There were women coming up to him from other tables in the restaurant and flirting with him. She supposed that they didn't know that this was a rehearsal dinner so she ignored it. Some were hanging on him now.
Lily got up and made her way over to where James was sitting. He didn't see her, but also got up. He started to follow the women back to their table. Lily sped up a little bit and grabbed his hand.
He turned around and gave her an annoyed look. "What are you doing?" he asked, wrenching his hand out of hers.
"What am I doing? What are you doing?" she seethed.
"I'm not doing anything," James replied with a grin on his face.
"James, we're waiting," said one of the other women with a smile.
"James, we're getting married tomorrow. How can you be going with other women right under my nose?" she yelled.
"Keep it down Lily, there are other people here. And remember that you didn't want to get married in the first place. Remember all those times you hated me? All those times you hurt me? What I'm doing now is nothing in comparison to what you've done to me in the past," James spat back. Everyone in the restaurant fell quiet and were all staring at the two.
Lily looked surprised, and then she turned around and left. She left everyone in the restaurant. James stood there looking like an idiot. He quickly ran one of his hands through his hair and left through the door that Lily had gone through. He couldn't find her though.
Lily ran down the street and tried to find a taxi to take her back home to James's. She was gong to grab her things for the wedding and go back to her place. She didn't want to be with James tonight, after making her look bad in the restaurant, especially on the night before their wedding.
Lily threw the door open, and didn't shut it after her. She stormed up the stairs and into their room and grabbed her dress, her shoes, her list of things she needed to do, and her jewelry. She was just about to leave the room and head back out when something caught her eye.
In the room were a large bed and two dressers and a desk. There was a hard-wood floor, and the walls were white, as were the blankets on the bed. All of the wood in the room was a dark brown and wasn't polished; it was rough. On the desk was a piece of parchment, and a bottle of red ink. There were a bunch of crumpled up pieces of parchment sitting in the wastebasket, being the curious person she was, Lily started to read it.
The first line was scratched out many times.
My Dear Julia,
I don't know how many times I've thought of you over the past few weeks. I believe I've told you that I'm getting married. I can't stand the thought of not having you around anymore. I will miss you dearly. I
That was as far as Lily got when a voice stopped her.
"What are you doing?" it asked. It was James. Lily stood up immediately and turned around to face him.
"I was just leaving. I'll see you tomorrow," Lily replied and tried to push her way through him, but he was blocking the door.
"Why are you mad at me?" he growled. Lily didn't answer him and pushed him out of the way.
"What was that for?" he yelled.
Lily tried to run down the stairs, but James caught her at the top step and held her back with his strong arms.
"What do you want me to do?" Lily whimpered. She dropped her dress and everything else she was holding on the ground.
James turned her around slowly and held her. Lily looked down and he pulled her face back up to meet his and he kissed her.
He kissed her hard, but he kissed her tenderly. Lily was once again caught by surprise as he kissed her, but she responded quicker this time, putting everything into it.
James backed them away from the stairs and pushed Lily up against a wall. Lily was afraid that she was going to lose all of her control right there on the top landing of her future home before she was married. She remembered what she had read in his room. She pulled away and slapped him across the face.
"I hate you," she said quickly, grabbed her stuff, and flew down the stairs, slamming the door behind her.
James stood there once again running his hand through his hair, clueless.
Lily ran down the street and into a dark alley and apparated back to her apartment. All of her boxes were packed and there were no blankets Lily didn't care though, she fell down on it immediately, exhausted. She didn't bother to set the alarm so she'd wake up on time, she figured that if she slept in late someone would eventually come and get her.
She slept well that night, and woke up early the next morning. There was sunlight pouring in the small window that was above her empty bed. There was a knock at her door and she pulled herself out of bed to open it.
It was James.
"What are you doing here?" she asked rudely.
"I just came to see my beautiful bride," he replied smoothly with a grin. She could smell alcohol on his breath, and looked as though his clothes had been put on in a hurry. Buttons were in the wrong spots, and some weren't even buttoned.
"It looks like you had fun last night," Lily replied coldly after looking over him. A look of guilt passed through his eyes. Lily hated to see that look in his eyes.
James started to say something but Lily cut him off. "You're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding starts, or something bad will happen," Lily said, trying to shut the door on him. He held it open with his foot.
"I don't believe in superstitions," he replied smugly, and pushed the door back open. Lily fell back against the wall from the force of it.
"You'll wish you hadn't done that," Lily said and locked herself in her room with many charms. She had just gotten out of the shower when she saw James laying on her bed.
"You have quite a nice singing voice, Lily," he said with a true, genuine smile.
"How did you get in here?" Lily squealed.
"I had you as a tutor in charms," he answered.
Lily groaned. "Get out," Lily said angrily.
"No," James said.
"Get out or I'll hex you."
"No."
Lily didn't say anything else but simply grabbed her wand off of the dresser by the wall and didn't hex James. She made him disappear. She had sent him to her sister's house. That should keep him away long enough for her to get ready.
Lily then disapparated to James's house. Her bridesmaids were waiting for her to help get her ready. "Why aren't you dressed?" asked Lauren.
"James was bothering me, so I ditched him and came here, I don't know where he is," Lily replied with a smile. Lauren was also a witch and she knew how James and Lily didn't get along.
"Well you are set to walk down the aisle in half an hour Lily, and you're not even half ready," said Katie hurriedly. Her long blonde hair was tied back sloppily.
Lily didn't know what happened over the next half-hour. She was in a daze, it seemed. The whole time she thought about the letter that she had read in James's room. He's seeing another woman. I'm not good enough for him. I was right all of these years, he doesn't care about me at all, it was all the thrill of the chase. He'll be with other women all of our marriage.
Lily couldn't believe that he would do that. She had quickly learned to at least like him a little bit. She would now be stuck in a failing marriage. He would come home with other women. Especially this Julia woman. She could just picture her slaving at home all day and then him coming home late at night, smelling of alcohol and exhausted from partying and God knows what else. The thought of it depressed her very much and she started to cry.
"Oh, Lily, it's going to be ok. You'll see James in a few minutes, you'll be fine and happy. It's all going to be over in an hour or so," Katie said, noticing the tears that were running down Lily's face and ruining her makeup.
"It's not going to be ok," Lily said quietly. She had to find a way out of it, she knew what she would. James would be sorry. James would regret everything.
"Ready to go, Lily?" asked Lauren. There was a look of sympathy in her eyes. Lily nodded as they walked her out the door and down towards the park. It was nice and warm outside. The sun was shining and it was perfect weather for a wedding. The leaves were all a perfect color and complimented Lily's hair perfectly.
Her hair was pulled back into a knot at the nape of her neck. Tiny little baby's breath were encircling it. She had on her white wedding dress with the off-the-shoulder sleeves and pearl-embroidered bodice with the skirt flowing out gently. She didn't have heels on, but rather ballet-like creamy white shoes. There were two strings of pearls on her neck which were in turn looped around many times at varying lengths. She had a very light complexion, and there was a glittery powder all over her chest and shoulders. She had on a pair of dangly diamond-in-pearl earrings.
They reached the "aisle" that Lily was going to walk down. It was a white carpet rolled out to the gazebo. There were twenty rows of fifteen chairs on either side of her, and all of them were filled. James had invited the majority of the guests. He had the most relatives, and the most money after all. Lily had invited some of her extended family, and her sister (who had actually come), and some of her old friends, and some of her remaining friends from Hogwarts, the ones who had survived, anyway. Lily was determined not to think of that now, though.
Her bridesmaids were now walking down the aisle with the groomsmen, in other words the Marauders. The bridesmaids were wearing light red-orange dresses that dipped in the back, and had a high neck, the skirt ended at about the knee. They both had their hair piled up on top of their heads in curls.
Lauren was wearing a dress of a similar color to the other two, but it was a bit more vibrant and was strapless, and it had a long skirt that fit her curves perfectly. Her dark brown hair was down and curled a bit.
They were all waiting for Lily to process down the aisle. She held her bouquet of roses tighter, and put a small smile on her face and tried not to focus on anyone in particular. She kept her eyes mostly on the ground.
She reached the end of the aisle after an eternity. She was determined not to look James straight in the eye. She couldn't believe that she was marrying this man. She didn't listen to anything the priest was saying. Finally she snapped out of it as they were doing the peace offering, and the gifts were being brought up. It was finally time for the actual wedding ceremony to start.
Lily listened as the priest went over everything, and James repeated his vows.
Lily repeated hers also. "Lily, do you take this man, James Potter, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" asked the priest. She finally looked James in the eye. She saw nothing.
Lawfully wedded, that's right. This whole thing is because of some stupid law. It had nothing to do with a choice, it was all some stupid, stupid law. I wonder what would happen if I said no and left.
"Lily?" she heard James ask. She snapped back to reality. She looked into James's eyes one more time. There seemed to be worry in them. He's probably only worried because he doesn't want to be the one rejected. That would make him look like an idiot.
"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the priest asked yet again. Lily scowled at James.
"I do," she replied, somewhat reluctantly after a while longer.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride," the priest said, smiling.
James pushed Lily's veil back. He searched her face for a minute. He gave her a look as though he were asking permission to kiss her. Lily stood there blankly.
He leaned forward and kissed Lily. For once she wasn't caught by surprise. She didn't feel anything this time around except for hatred towards him. She didn't respond, but rather pulled away after what she thought was an appropriate amount of time.
There was applause as Lily and James walked back up the aisle. Soon all of the other people were out of earshot.
"I'm sorry," James said suddenly, pulling Lily towards him.
"For what?" Lily asked coldly.
"There's something I need to tell you," James said. Lily was a bit interested now.
James didn't have time to tell her whatever it was before they were mobbed by well-wishers and the photographer. People were headed back to the Potter Mansion back in Godric's Hollow. James had a huge house and a huge backyard that they would be using. The backyard was really big and it went back into a forest. There were quite a few acres of land there that the Potter's owned. It was wonderful because of the gardens. James didn't take it all for himself though. He let all of the little kids from the village and anybody who wanted to use it, use it.
"Congratulations," said a short and plump lady.
"Thank you," Lily replied as the woman shook her hand.
James hesitantly put an arm around her waist. "They want to take our pictures now, it shouldn't take all that long," James whispered into her ear, and he led her to where the camera was assembled.
"What a happy looking couple," remarked a few younger people walking by. Lily had to smile at it.
If only they knew.
Author's Note: Ok. I've neglected this story enough, and I hope this is long enough. It will get more...interesting to read in a couple chapters or so, that's where the plot will move along more. I've got so many ideas for this. Feedback please?