Trump Cards and Broken Dice
Chapter 4: Pouring Salt on an Open Wound
So I'm not good at action scenes, many apologies. I'm starting realize that I make Deidara way sassier than he is in the actual series, he's really sassy. I don't have any idea when i'm going to add more romance-y stuff, so be patient. R&R.
"Did I ever tell you how much I hate undead shinobi?" Deidara shot two arrows at his pursuer, who treated them as if they were nothing.
"Sixth time you've told me," Sasuke replied, pushing away from the shinobi he was fighting, "I'm starting to get sick of it."
"I'm starting to get sick of you, hm," Deidara retorted.
"That was very mature of you," Sasuke teased.
"Thank you," Deidara smirked.
They'd been fighting like this for the past few minutes, back and forth throwing jabs at each other whilst Sakura watched from the sidelines.
"You two are like lovers," Sakura mused, a smile on her face. Deidara paused and looked at Sakura, then at Sasuke.
"When this is over, can I kill her?" Deidara asked.
"No," Sasuke replied, "she's a medic, you're an idiot."
"Fair enough," Deidara pulled out his katana to block the Kirigakure kunoichi, "if Gari tries hitting you, dodge, don't block, hm."
"Why?" Sasuke asked.
"Because," Deidara pulled his bow onto his shoulder and slammed his fist into the kunoichi's torso. The kunoichi exploded into dust with a blinding flash, "Bakuton, hm." Sasuke shuddered and dodged a punch thrown at him.
"Are you gonna keep surprising me or is that all?" Sasuke asked.
"Unless I magically figure out how to use Jinton without killing myself," Deidara ducked under a shuriken heading his way, "that's all, hm." Sasuke sighed and jumped away from the fight before reentering.
"Actually I think Jinton would be immensely useful at this point," he said.
"I know," Deidara pulled his bow off his shoulder and fired and arrow at the shinobi closer to Sasuke, missing him completely and nearly hitting the aforementioned Uchiha.
"Watch where you're shooting!" Sasuke yelled.
"I'm not in charge of where your fucking enemy moves!" Deidara retorted, ducking under another shuriken, "I'm trying to have an argument you dumb shit!"
"He doesn't care!"
"Go fuck yourself!"
Sakura tried to contain her laughter, this all too serious fight had turned into a childish argument that reminded Sakura of her parents arguing about groceries. Only with twice the cursing and kunai were being thrown from outside sources.
"Okay Sasuke-bitch get down!" Deidara screamed, throwing a large clay bird in Sasuke's direction.
"I though you said you couldn't use those!" Sasuke ducked out of the way of the hurtling lump of clay.
"I lied!" Deidara replied.
"Why the fuck did you lie?" Sasuke yelled.
"Because I can!"
"Are you fucking serious?"
"No I'm a pink spotted platypus with purple wings, OF COURSE I'M SERIOUS!"
"You two need to get married," Sakura snickered under her breath.
"I'm going to maim you pink-head!"
"No seriously," Sakura smiled, "get married. You would look gorgeous in a white kimono."
"YOU'RE NOT FUNNY!"
Three coffins appeared suddenly, prompting the three shinobi attacking Deidara and Sasuke to step into them and disappear.
"That just happened," Sasuke sat up. Deidara clicked his tongue.
"They were gathering information," Deidara picked an arrow from the ground, "nothing more. They know our fighting styles and that you and I argue like a married couple, hm."
"But they also don't know how Sakura fights," Sasuke re-sheathed his katana, "we still have a home court advantage."
"Sakura is a Chunin from Konoha," Deidara plucked the string of his bow, "her records are all over the continent. Everyone knows how she fights, hm."
"And they wouldn't know yours because?" Sasuke looked at the blonde in curiosity, "You're an S-Class, Kill-on-Sight terrorist missing-nin, your records are in OTHER continents."
"My missing-nin records," Deidara stretched the bowstring further, "this needs a new string, hm."
"When did you use that last?" Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"In battle? Ten years ago," Deidara replied, "if you're talking training, about a week before I died, hm."
"You died last year," Sasuke said.
"Exactly," Deidara pointed to Sasuke, "and you yelled at me for missing, hm."
"So where are your shinobi records?" Sakura asked.
"Iwa," Deidara plucked the bowstring thoughtfully, "I seriously need a new string for this, it's making a much higher pitched sound than it should, hm."
"Is that bad?" Sakura asked.
"It means the bowstring is about to snap," Sasuke stopped Deidara from plucking at the string, "and you should stop that, before the bowstring snaps back into your face preferably." Deidara waved Sasuke away and untied the string, pulling another one from the pouch slung around his hips.
"Do you plan ahead all the time?" Sakura asked.
"No," Deidara replied, "usually, I avoid planning ahead like the plague. It's not my style. But seeing as I haven't used this old thing in a year, I figured I'd bring one or two spare strings, hm."
"Can you hunt?" Sasuke asked.
"I'm a sharpshooter," Deidara restrung the bow, "I learned to shoot by hunting. Why? Did you want me to hunt for you guys, hm?"
"That would be useful," Sasuke noted. Deidara grunted and tested his new bowstring before slinging the bow over his shoulder.
"We'll be on a steady diet of birds for a bit," he said, looking at the sky, pulling an arrow from his quiver, "there aren't many animals in the area, hm." He aimed and fired an arrow into the air.
It had been a long time since Sakura had eaten properly on a mission, but to her surprise, Sasuke had some semblance of cooking knowledge.
Sakura was starting to feel twice as useless with two prodigies on her team as opposed to one.
"So," Deidara carved a careful spiral into the arrow he was making to fit a metal head, using the bird's feathers as the fletchings, "we're about a day's walk from the bastard. According to Hidan's message-thank you dinner-we're in a lot of fucking trouble, and Kakuzu's back in the world of the living, hm."
"You said half a day earlier," Sakura mentioned.
"Our little skirmish got us sidetracked," Deidara noted, screwing on the metal arrowhead, "we lost half a day thanks to them."
"You said it before we started fighting," Sakura stood, "a half-day's walk across the battlefield, that's exactly what you said."
"I miscalculated, shut up," Deidara growled.
"Are you purposely misleading us?" Sakura asked.
"No," Deidara replied. Sakura growled low in her throat.
"Liar."
"Oh don't start that," Deidara began carving out another arrow, "you're like a little kid, anyone who's evil in your book can't tell the truth, hm."
"No you are misleading us!" Sakura raised her voice, "How do you miscalculate by an entire half-day?"
"You just do," Deidara said simply.
"Are you misleading us?" Sasuke asked.
"No," Deidara replied, "I'm not. You too huh?"
"No," Sasuke shook his head, "I was verifying, I trust you more than she does right now." Deidara sighed and stood.
"I'm assuming your moral compass isn't as cocky as miss Konoha over there," Deidara pointed to Sakura, "you are on such a high horse, I think if you tried getting off you'd kill yourself, hm."
"Your insults make no sense," Sakura teased.
"At least they're original," Deidara reasoned.
"At least mine apply," Sakura snapped.
"Mine still apply to you," Deidara retorted, "it's just that I've found a strange wonder in how you're attempting a battle of wits whilst you're unarmed, hm." Sasuke snickered.
"Nice one," he complimented.
"Thanks," Deidara smirked, "I've been waiting to use that one, hm." Sakura seriously wanted to strangle that damn Shakespeare obsessed artist right now. Deidara began a new arrow and shot Sakura a warning glare, he was done the argument, she was not going to say anything else or he wouldn't hesitate to kill her. Defeated, Sakura sat down and began fidgeting with the necklace around her neck.
"Fuck!" Deidara hissed, holding out his arm, which had a small gash running from his knuckle to his wrist, "god dammit."
"You alright there?" Sasuke asked.
"Yeah," Deidara looked at the gash carefully, "it's not bad, hm."
"Maybe you shouldn't be holding sharp things when you're angry," Sasuke joked.
"Let's not go there," Deidara smiled weakly, "tch, why does this shit happen to me, hm?"
"The bad luck of the blonde on the team," Sasuke joked. Sakura slapped Sasuke upside the head and gestured for Deidara to show her the injury.
"It's not bad," Sakura lightly touched the gash.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Deidara looked at Sakura cautiously.
"Just shut up," Sakura pulled anything she needed from her bag, "actually, do you have any water?" Deidara rolled his eyes and pulled a small metal flask from his pocket.
"Why?" he asked.
"You've heard the saying 'pouring salt on an open wound,' right?" Sakura asked pouring some of the water into the bowl she bought and adding salt.
"Why?"
"Because there's a reason they say that," Sakura dipped a corner of a cloth into the mixture and pressed it to the injury. Deidara cursed and pulled his hand away.
"OW!" he said loudly, "That HURT!"
"It's salt water," Sakura grabbed Deidara's hand, "it's going to. Now hold still." Deidara growled, but complied, flinching as Sakura returned to her work. Once she had wrapped a bandage over the injury, Deidara pulled away angrily and walked off.
"Fucking warn me properly next time," he growled, "that fucking stung bitch, hm."
"You are such a baby," Sasuke laughed.
"Shut up," Deidara growled.
"It's a primitive disinfectant," Sakura sighed, repacking her bag, "it's the best I could do with how little money we have." She returned the flask of water to Deidara, "disinfectants will sting, no matter what they are." Deidara grumbled an unintelligible complaint and returned the flask to his pocket.
At this point the sooner they got to Kabuto, the better.
Hopefully.
And now you know the meaning of the title. I did have a reason for the bottle of salt mentioned last chapter, I was going to use it. And yes, i did just reference Shakespeare again, I'm evil.