Chapter Four – Brave Little Soldiers
"Lucas Eugene Scott, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, it was just a ride. You are really getting out of line with this," Karen said sternly, not sure how much ground she had on this. How much of a right did she have to tell him to mind his own business when technically, his mother and his father, however reluctant, are his business?
Haley watched the conversation from her spot on the couch, trying to blend in to the background as best possible. This was one dilemma she wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Things had been intense ever since Dan dropped them off with Karen and Luke arguing back and forth over the repercussions of accepting a ride from Dan.
"What would you have had me do, Lucas?" Karen went on. "Would you have me stand there on the side of the highway waiting for the first toothless redneck in a pickup truck to come by and get me? No, thank you. I'd rather take my chances on known evils."
"That's great, Mom. Why don't you invite him over for dinner, huh? He can sit at Uncle Keith's spot, and we could have Nathan come over, too. Hey, maybe Deb, even! And why not Haley, let's make this a true family thing, why don't we?" Luke yelled, not willing to give an inch on this. After everything Dan had done, after every threat he had leveled, and especially after following through on the most important one, Dan had no spot in his life.
"I'm going to walk home now," Haley whispered, trying to sneak out of the room.
"Sit down," Karen ordered, and Haley complied immediately. "It's dark and way too late for you to go home. You'll stay here tonight."
"But I have work tomorrow, and I'll need to get clothes and – "
"I'll take you over there in plenty of time," Karen promised her, ignoring the curious looks that Luke was giving them. "Don't worry, it'll be fine."
Nodding, Haley staod back up. "Then I'm going to go borrow a pair of sweats, Luke, and then get to bed. Early day and all that. See you in the morning."
She went into Luke's room and changed, flopping down on the bed. She could hear their muffled argument continue, punctuated by Luke's loud and angry words as they debated the Dan topic yet again.
The door swung open about fifteen minutes later and after slamming it in anger, Luke flopped down on the bed beside her. "Am I going to get killed by my brother for lying next to you?"
"Don't be a dumbass, Luke," she told him, elbowing him lightly in the ribs. "Speaking of which, why are you being such a jerk to your mom?"
"I wasn't being a jerk," he huffed, staring up at the ceiling. "I just don't want her being involved with him in any way. Or in debt to him. You know Dan. To him, giving her a ride is a debt. And he'll collect. That's what he does, how he works."
She was sure she knew as well as anyone how Dan operated, but she didn't offer that. "Luke, I know you don't want to hear this for some reason, but you don't need to worry about her. She'll deal with Dan, you'll see."
"No," he countered, "That's not the principle of this. I don't want her to have to deal with him, Haley! Look at all the hurt he's caused her, caused both of us. I don't want that for us anymore, ever again." He looks over at her. "Why doesn't he just leave us alone?"
"Well, one, it's Dan. Doing the right thing goes against his nature," she reasoned. "And two, you're his son. Whether you like it or not, whether or not anyone wants to see it or admit it, that means that he has something vested in you."
"You know I don't like it," he muttered testily. "I hate it, in fact. He – he was the one that didn't want us, Haley. Why should he still be dictating the terms of our interactions with him? That's bullshit!"
"I'm not disagreeing with you, Luke," she sighed softly. "It sucks, and we all know it. I'm just saying that there is bound to be more there than he admits."
"God, what's got you supporting him all of a sudden?" Luke bit out, jumping off the bed. "This is ridiculous, Hales. It's Dan. You can't just defend him, suggest that he might actually care about me. Not considering what you know!"
"I am considering what I know," she assured him, sitting up and drawing her knees against her chest. "Luke, just don't stress about this all too much, okay?"
"How can I not stress about it?" he asked tiredly. "It's my mom; she's all that I have left in the world. Stop stressing is not an option."
"Wow, I guess the friendship bracelets didn't mean anything, huh?" she snapped before she can stop herself. "Thanks a lot, buddy."
"Hales, I didn't mean it like that!"
"Yes, you did, you self-pitying brat." Shaking her head, she got off the bed and jammed her feet into her cheer shoes. "I'm going home to sleep in my own bed."
"My mom said to stay!" he protested.
"'My mom said to stay'," she mimicked him mockingly. "Well, guess what, I don't live here, and I – I – I don't even have anyone to tell me what to do, so I don't have to stay."
They both cringed at how juvenile they're sounding, but neither cared right now. Luke was too wrapped up in this thing with Dan, and Haley didn't want to argue with him tonight.
"Don't go," he sighed. "Please, Hales, stay. Just – this, God, why are we letting Dan cause problems for us when he isn't even here?"
"Because it's Dan, and he's trouble."
"Think it'll ever get easier?" Luke asked, sitting back down on the bed, smiling gratefully when she did the same.
"Yeah, in about a year when you're living the high life on some fabulous college campus, preferably out of state, and rubbing Dan's nose in it all by playing some kick-ass basketball," she grinned, patting him on the back. "It will get easier. Someday maybe things won't even reek of awkward every time you two are in the room together."
He laughed at that. "There's something I wouldn't count on," he advised her. "Because nothing that strange has ever happened. And with the HCM, basketball is sort of becoming a pipe dream, Hales."
"Maybe not," Haley agreed, even though she wouldn't be surprised if things turned out otherwise. But at this point, he's definitely not wrong. She didn't even touch other comment, knowing he didn't really want to talk about it now.
"I – is there more going on there than the car just breaking down?" he asked quietly in a voice so lost and confused that her heart just ached for him. "I don't know, Hales. It seems like maybe there is. Doesn't she know better by now?"
"Luke, your mom wouldn't do that," she said confidently, honestly believing that, despite the sparks, Dan Scott was one road that Karen Rowe would never again go down.
"You saw it, too," he said, but there was no heat of accusation behind it. "You saw how they were looking at each other. Did you see in the car when they'd keep glancing at each other? I – I probably sound like a jerk, and I kind of feel like one, but this isn't some guy she met at the grocery store, Hales! This is Dan."
"I know," she soothed. "I know. But Lucas, no matter what, I don't think she'll go there. I really don't."
"I – I can't let him hurt her again. I won't."
"What are you going to do?" she asked, regarding him suspiciously. "Nothing stupid, I hope!"
"I don't know," he admitted. "But if he comes around here, trying to make nice, I'm not putting up with it. I fell for that last time, and it's not happening again. Look what he's done to Deb and Nathan. He's not getting the chance to do that to me and my mom."
"He shouldn't," she agreed whole-heartedly. She has seen what he'd done to Nathan, and to a lesser extent Deb. She didn't want that for Karen or for Luke, just like she didn't want Nathan dealing with that anymore, either. She also knew that it wasn't her choice, and that what she thought was best for people wasn't always what people thought was best for themselves. Silly people.
"She didn't exactly shove him away, did she?" he questioned softly, already knowing the answer. "We could've found another way home. Whitey would've loved to have her on the bus, right? It didn't have to be Dan!"
"No, it didn't," she sighed, grabbing and squeezing his hand hard. "Luke, it doesn't mean anything." She didn't know which one of them she was trying to convince now. "Dan is married to Deb, and I think we're all aware that she's the adulterer in that relationship."
"Like he's so much better," Luke scoffed. "Come on, open your eyes. If he had the chance, he wouldn't hesitate, not with Mom. You saw how they looked at each other."
She'd deny it if she could, but there was no point. Luke was no fool, and he knew that Haley saw the same sparks, that same hint of fire that he did.
"This family gets more and more messed up by the day," she tried to joke. "I mean, look at me and Nathan. Estranged. Deb and Dan are in some kind of prank war that only two year olds would find interesting. And Keith is God knows where. Dan is on death's door every time we turn around. Crazy, right?"
"And my mom and my father have something going on," he finished, sighing. "Oh, and Nathan won't talk to me. At least he's talking to you again."
"Luke, give him a break," she sighed, hating that she was in between them again. "Things haven't been easy for him."
He gave her an incredulous look, shaking his head. "Everything has been easy for him lately, and you know why? Because you've let it be. You let him get away with treating you like complete crap, never saying anything. So yeah, I do think things have been easy for him."
"Well, don't you think he deserves a break, at least from me?" she asked quietly. "I left, Luke. What's worse than that?"
"Uh, treating someone the way he's treating you. He's jerking you around, Hales." He smiled slightly at her. "Look, there is no doubt in my mind that you two will figure things out and be better than ever, but I just wish that in the meantime, you weren't letting him do this to you."
"It's getting better," she pointed out hopefully. "Maybe he'll start letting me in again."
"I hope so," Luke grinne, reaching his arms above his head in a stretch. "So, I'm wide awake now. Want to go down to the river court and shoot hoops with me?"
"Ugh, I don't shoot hoops and you know it," she groaned, flopping back on the bed. "Besides, I have to work early tomorrow."
"Oh, come on, we're young! If there is ever going to be a time in our lives when we can stay up late and get up early, this is it. Come on, Hales," he pleaded. "We never hang out anymore and just do stupid things."
She laughed, agreeing. "Okay, fine, but only one game of whatever barnyard animal it is that you like, and then we're coming back here."
"Deal," he grinned. "And Haley? It's horse."
"I knew that," she groused, flipping him off.
The walk there was refreshing for both of them. They ignored the figurative elephants in the figurative room, and just gossiped about school and teachers and made plans for Christmas break.
"So, speaking of Christmas, what are your plans?" he asked, not wanting to put an end to the joviality, but genuinely curious.
"If Nathan and I are still wherever it is that we are now, I'll probably go to whichever sibling's house that my parents end up at. It'd be nice to see them again," she sighed wistfully.
"Where are Jimmy and Lydia, anyway?" he wondered aloud, "I got a postcard from Cawker City, Kansas."
"Oh, God, they didn't," she groaned, rolling her eyes. "You know, it is one thing that I have to know and live with my parents being such big dorks that they'd stop and see the world's biggest ball of twine, but did they have to make my best friend aware of that? I mean, really."
Luke laughed at her show of melodrama, patting her on the back. "So where are they? Are they following the Griswold's trip and headed for Wallyworld now?"
"Oh, I hate you!" she exclaimed, kicking at him. "You are a jerk, Lucas Eugene Scott. Butthead!"
"Wow, them there's fightin' words, Hales," he choked out between laughs. "Come on, you know I love your parents almost as much as I love my mom. I'm just kidding."
"You better be," she pouted. "And for the record, I think they're at the Grand Canyon." His eyes bulged out at that. "Don't even say it," she warned.
He held his hands up as he bit his tongue. "I wasn't going to." At her look, he amended his statement. "Well, I won't now. Hey, at least you weren't packed into the station wagon with Taylor and dragged across country."
"Yeah, Florida to the grandparents' house was far enough, thank you very much," she smirked. "And thank you for bringing up Taylor. She sent me a postcard asking how "our" boyfriend was. Tacky much?"
"She was never anything else," Luke pointed out.
"I just hate her sometimes," she mumbled, rolling her eyes at herself, "Which is stupid. I mean, look at everything else that's going on. What sane person would be worried about something as trivial as hating Taylor?"
"Anyone who has met her?" he joked. "And besides, no one ever said you were sane, right?"
"Luke," she whined, laughing with him, "Come on, this is serious. Well, no it isn't, actually. Taylor can go – go piss off."
"Are you drunk?" he laughed at her. "Because you're being really goofy."
"Oh, stop it," she grinned. "Look, go throw your basketball around and let's get back to your place. It's cold out here, and I've still got work in the morning."
"You don't throw it around," he corrected her haughtily. "You shoot it, Haley. God, you'd think Nathan might've taught you one damn thing."
"He taught me lots of stuff," she threw back at him, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. "The good ones had nothing to do with basketball."
"Gross," Luke muttered, taking a warm-up shot. "Come on, Air-less Jordan, let's see what you've got, girly girl."
"Hey!" she protested. "I'm in possession of one wicked granny shot, and if you aren't nicer, I'll use it to bust your ass, mister."
"Yeah, I'm scared," he laughed, pretending to shake. "Big, bad Haley James is going to outshoot me."
"First of all, it's Scott," she reminded him, "Second of all, there are way better areas in which I could school you, Luke. Just keep that in mind."
"Sorry, James just flows better," he offered with a shrug. "Besides, thinking of you as my sister-in-law is still a little weird."
"Really?" she asked, watching as he sends the ball towards the hoop in a perfect arc. "How come?"
"Yeah. I mean, I'm used to it, but it's still different. I don't know, there's that whole thing where at heart I'm a little boy who doesn't want to share his toys, and then there's the part where it's Nathan."
"And that makes it worse," she noted casually, bouncing the ball when he passed it to her. "It's weird for me, too. Sometimes, not all the time. Being the only married 17 year old around kind of puts a mark on you."
"But you wouldn't trade it for anything," he smiled, shaking his head as she missed the basket entirely. "That's – you know what? It's pretty admirable. If Nathan can't appreciate what he's got in you, then screw him."
"You'd screw him?" Haley teased before grimacing. "Okay, no. That's something Brooke might say and enjoy, but I just can't even joke about that. Oh, ew."
"I think that last 'ew' covered it, so I'll let it go without giving you hell for going there," he said magnanimously.
"Oh, aren't you grand?" Haley smirked, hip checking him as he was about to take his next shot, missing wildly. "Oops, guess I get to pick the next shot, huh?"
"No granny shots," he tried to warn her. "Those are off-limits to you, cheater."
"No way, I'm not a cheater! We didn't agree to that rule before we started playing. Besides, why are you whining, you know you'll win," she pointed out. "My shot, my choice!"
"Fine," he grumbled, waving her towards the basket. "Just hurry up and miss already, okay? And Haley? Hip checking is considered cheating by most reasonable people. Again, not that that's an issue for you."
"Oh, now I'm offended," she glared as she lines up her shot. She cheered and did a little dance as the ball bounced off the backboard and around the rim, finally dropping through the net. "Woo! I rock!"
"You're something alright," Luke agreed, rolling his eyes at her antics as she continued to taunt him. He lined up the shot, groaning when he missed. "Damn granny shots. Big kids don't shoot like that."
"Well, Lukie, it's a good thing that I don't wanna grow up then!"
"Why? You're a Toys-R-Us kid?"
"Maybe," she laughed. "No one ever buys me toys anymore, though. Well, my parents took time out from their Choose Your Own Adventure © trip this summer and let me talk them into staying at the beach for a few weeks. Dad bought me a pail and a shovel to make sandcastles with."
"I hope he remembered to tell you not to eat the sand," Luke grinned at her, groaning when she started to line up her next shot, another of the granny variety of course.
"Shut up! I was two when I did that, and you were not given that information so that you could tease me with it!"
"Then why was I given that information?" he laughed, pumping his fist when the ball hits the front of the rim, bouncing back to her.
"Shoot," she muttered, hurtling the ball towards him. "Because my mom has a big mouth? There is nothing you need to do with that knowledge, Luke."
He laughed, backing up well behind the three-point arc and sending the ball swishing through the net after a perfect jump shot. "Ooh, beat that, short stuff!"
"I hate you," she whined. "Who thought up basketball, anyway? What a stupid sport. Now soccer, there's a real sport. I can kick things without missing, and their net is huge and easier to get the ball through."
Luke looked at her doubtfully. "Whatever you say, Hales."
"Now, that is the smartest thing that you've said all day," she grinned, half-heartedly lobbing the ball towards the net.
"Ouch, that one had to hurt," he grinned, winking at her. They finished up the game quickly, walking home together still enjoying the teasing banter. Both their minds were off all things Dan, at least temporarily, and both were equally grateful for the reprieve.
"Hey, you never did tell me where you're working," he reminded her as they snuck back into the house, both relieved that Karen wasn't there waiting for them. "What's that all about?"
"It's about nothing," she lied through clenched teeth. "Look, Luke, it – I'm bummed out about quitting the café. Can we not talk about this new job and the fact that it is a reminder of what I won't have anymore please?"
"Okay, okay," he gave in, sighing. "You aren't working at the strip joint on 8th street, are you?"
"Yes, Luke, I am," she deadpanned, "And my stage name is also my porn name, so if you're there and they announce Bunny Beaugard as the next performer, scram."
"God, that's not funny," he groaned. "Why do you have to do that? I bet you wouldn't say anything like that in front of Nathan. He'd probably give himself an aneurysm he'd get so pathetically jealous and overwrought."
"And you'd know from overwrought, wouldn't you, Luke?"
"No, Haley, I'd know from tortured," he corrected her, and she laughed in delight at his self-deprecating remark.
"You made a joke!" she giggled. "At your own expense. And most shocking of all, it was funny!"
"I can be funny once in awhile," he sighed, grabbing a pillow and blanket and heading for the floor. "I can be chivalrous, too, so take the bed."
"Hey, Luke?"
"Hmm?"
"Thanks."
"You're welcome," he answered, even though he wasn't sure what he's being thanked for. "Love you, Hales."
"Love you, too, goofball."
She was early the next morning. Karen, borrowing Luke's truck, took her back to her apartment and made her a little breakfast while she was getting ready, and then dropped her off here. In the light of day, Karen was clearly a little wearier of Dan, even going so far as to ask Haley if she minded being dropped off on the sidewalk in front of the dealership so she didn't have to pull in.
Sighing, she pushed open the door, nodding to a guy in a mechanic's suit that called out to her. She wouldn't be surprised if Dan suggested to all of them that they pursue her. He was just that displeased with her marriage to Nathan, and sabotage was clearly not below him.
"Well, Miss James, you're actually early," he commented, a traditional, but surprisingly non-malicious, Scott smirk on his face.
"Yeah, you caught me," she grinned easily. "I just couldn't stay away, Dan!"
"It's Mr. Scott around here," he corrected her with a put upon sigh. "Come on, let me show your desk. Agnes is there, and she'll show you the basics like how to use the intercom system and things like that."
"Goody," Haley smirked with false cheer. "Can't wait!"
"Right," he nodded, trying to get a handle on the girl standing in front of him. "Well, let's go meet Agnes."
She followed him through the building, for once actually taking time to look around. She was going to be here a lot, so she might as well get used to the place.
"Yes, let's meet Agnes!" Haley smiled, putting some of her newfound cheerleading training to good use as she managed to put up a peppy façade. "And what's on the schedule for after that, Daddy Dan? Father and daughter-in-law bonding?"
"You're really going to be a thorn in my side, aren't you?" he grumbled, ignoring her taunts as he hurried over to Agnes' desk. "Damn it, she isn't here yet." Looking around, he spotted one of the salesmen, waving him over. "Louie, this is Haley. She'll be doing Agnes' job on the weekends and evenings. I don't know where Agnes is now, but could you get her started on the phones and PA system?"
"Sure thing, boss," Louie agreed, motioning for Haley to follow him around Agnes' desk. Satisfied that she's out of his hair, at least temporarily, Dan left, heading for his office.
Maybe blackmailing her into working here wasn't such a good idea, he couldn't help but think now. She's more like Karen than Deb, which meant she wouldn't give into his demands and she wouldn't resort to childish pranks to assert herself. She'd use that smart mouth of hers against him at every turn, he was sure, but she was not going to sink to the juvenile level that Deb had. He could almost understand why Nathan was so infatuated with her.
That didn't mean he had to like her, though. In fact, it was quite the opposite. That little slip of a girl had a lot of nerve as far as he was concerned. Walking into his place of business and making demands of how he treated Lucas, that took an awful lot on her part. But she was just an irritant, trying to force him into some sort of relationship with the boy. He'd made it clear that he didn't want one, and yet there she was, doing her best to counter that.
The intercom buzzed into his office, and reluctantly, he pressed the button down. "What?" he barked into it.
"Hi Daddy Dan," Haley's faux cheer rang through the line. "Agnes just called in. Her granddaughter is really sick, and her son and daughter-in-law are out of town. She isn't going to be able to make it in today."
"Fuck," Dan cursed under his breath. "Then who – damn it. I'll be out there in five minutes. Have Louie stay with you and make sure you don't mess anything up!"
Pushing the button off, Haley rolled her eyes at Louie. "Seriously, Lou, what could I possibly mess up? Press 'intercom', press '5-0', speak. Not brain surgery, right?"
"Right," Louie agreed with a chuckle.
"And to answer…this one is tricky, pick up the phone. Wow, I hope I can remember that one!" she said in her best vacant voice. "I mean, really, do you think he understands what the A in AP stands for? It definitely isn't remedial!"
"Quit bragging about your academic accomplishments and come with me," Dan growled in irritation from behind her. She winked at Louie, giving him a small wave as she turned to follow Dan toward one of the back rooms.
"Uh, this isn't where you take me to kill me, is it?" she asked, peering around the room filled only with file cabinets.
"You wish," he smirked. "This might actually be worse than death which is of course where the joy lies in it for me."
"Oh, this isn't where you start singing show tunes, is it? This room looks like it would be fairly soundproof, but probably not enough," she smirked at him, looking at the rows and rows of files and wondering what he wanted her to do. "And really, I'd only enjoy that if you were dressed as a sailor or something."
"Knock the wise guy routine off," he ordered brusquely. "You working here is not an opportunity for you to make snide, petty comments constantly; you're here to actually do work. And the first order of business is to get what is in these files entered into the computer."
She looked at him as if he's lost his mind. "H – hey, there must be fifty filing cabinets in here, with five drawers each! That's two hundred and fifty drawers, each holding roughly, what, fifty records? A hundred? More?"
"More," he grined. "See, when I offered to bump up your pay so neatly, it wasn't going to come for free. You'll earn the money you make here, Haley. Don't you dare think or expect otherwise."
"Well – am I supposed to answer phones or do this?" she asked, confused. "There's not really a good way to do both!"
"But…all those AP classes you took? I thought that the A didn't stand for remedial," he smirked at her. "I guess that you will just have to figure out a way, won't you?"
"Who's going to show me how to do this?" she asked, fighting back a glare. "I don't even know what is in those files or what kind of computer program I'll be using. I'm in the dark here."
"Since Agnes isn't here today, I guess I'll be showing you what to do for now," he sighed, not having thought that far ahead. "I'll have Louie find someone to cover the front, and you can work on that with Agnes tomorrow or Monday. For now, you'll have the pleasure of my company while you put those AP smarts to use."
"Lucky me," she muttered under her breath, her hands on her hips as she again surveyed the room. "Where's the computer? Surely you haven't been packing files off to some other room? There should be a computer in here."
"Are you ever not bossy?" he asked with disdain.
"No, not at all," she smirked. "I just reserve it for special occasions. You're a special occasion." She tilted her head to the side, regarding him silently. "Speaking of, have you figured out when and how you'll be getting Luke money? Because I really don't think it is fair of you to put your end of the bargain off when I'm here fulfilling mine. Not to mention, it is much more crucial that your end be fulfilled soon."
"I somehow doubt that he's going to be overly thrilled when I come around with money. Not if last night was any indication," Dan sighed, wearily rubbing his fingers over his forehead. "That boy isn't exactly my biggest fan."
"Oh, because you've given him so many reasons!" Haley scoffed, unwilling to give him even the slightest bit of pity.
"You don't know what I want from him, you don't know how I feel about him," Dan said quietly. "This whole thing would work a lot better if you didn't stand around being presumptuous."
She smiled at that, shaking her head. "Right. You mean presumptuous like you are about my motives towards Nathan."
"That's different. Lucas is my son. I have a vested interest in him. What you and Nathan have is nothing but a passing infatuation. You'll blink one day, and poof – it'll be gone, and you won't even know what happened to it."
"And you have no idea what there is between Nathan and me," she countered hotly. "Just because you can't fathom two people loving each other enough to make it work through anything doesn't mean it doesn't exist, Dan."
"And you're just a naïve little girl pinning her hopes and dreams on the shoulders of one reckless, irresponsible boy who is way better at thinking of himself than anyone else," Dan said, surprisingly mild. "It's all fun and games now, but it won't be that way forever."
She stared at him incredulously, wondering, if her life was currently fitting his definition of fun and games, what the opposite must be to him. "There is nothing fun or game-like about where Nathan and I are right now. And I accept responsibility for that. But if you think one hard time will have either of us backing down, then you're insane."
"You're right," he agreed. "A hard time, or a betrayal as it stands, would most likely send Nathan running for the hills. Don't you go letting yourself think he's coming around and that things will magically be okay again. I can guarantee you that he isn't."
"The thing is, Dan, you don't know much about me and you probably know even less about Nathan. And that probably says a lot, right?" she stated flatly, not caring that her words were aimed to wound. Not caring that she could tell she hit her mark by the way the light in his eyes diminishes slightly. He was brutal to her, flinging his alleged truths her way; she'd be damned if she wouldn't do the same.
"I know Nathan – I do, of course I do!" he insisted, and she knew that it was more to himself than it was to her. "He – I had him for seventeen years. You – you can't compare to that."
"But he can be honest with me," she told him, driving the point home. "He doesn't have to pretend with me, I don't place unreasonable expectations on him. I leave that to you, Dan. I love him for who he is, not who I think he should be."
"Bullshit," he muttered, glaring at her now, tamping down all emotion other than anger. "You're the one who roped him into marriage, you're the one that expects him to be a faithful husband, to provide for you, forgetting that he is only eighteen."
"Whether you want to believe it or not, I'd do anything for him," she asserted. "I will go anywhere, do anything for him. That's just fact."
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, some of that is how I feel for both Luke and Nate? No, of course not, because the only person you care about is yourself, you selfish little brat!"
She stared at him, and he held it, not looking away from her scrutinizing. "Then maybe – just maybe – for once in your miserable life, you should show it."
He nodded, mumbling something about getting some things from his office before turning and fleeing the room. He hated that she saw the weakness in him, and he hated that she had the courage to exploit it. Most of all, he hated that she's the best chance at redemption he had with either of his sons.
He resented her for her presence in both their lives; resented knowing that they'd both choose her in a heartbeat over him. She was in the position that he'd give anything to be in – the boys clearly adored her, loved her. She could touch anything in either of them, and he didn't have a fraction of that ability. He was so goddamn jealous of a tiny, seventeen year old girl that he thought he must be losing his mind.
She thought her advice is so straight-forward. Just do it. Life wasn't a goddamn Nike© commercial. You couldn't just do something because you wanted to, or even because it was the right thing to do. And if she'd take her rose-colored glasses off and look around, maybe she'd understand that there was so much more to this than feelings.
He'd made so many mistakes with both Nathan and Lucas, and even if he had an idea how to go about fixing things, he wasn't sure if the breaks could be repaired. Especially with Lucas. Too many years of neglect and denial when it came to him, and when he had his chances, he made it all worse. Things with Nathan were nearly as bad.
She watched him go with mixed emotions – shocked that he'd given up without finding a way to zing in the last word; apprehension that he could be in there making the phone call that would screw her over with both Luke and Nathan; sadness that while he loved them, he didn't know how to show it; resignation to the fact that there was a chance he never would learn how to show it.
She didn't know if she felt worse for him or worse for Nathan and Luke. No, not true, she definitely felt worse for Nathan and Luke. Their inner struggles were out there for everyone to see, and Dan had exploited the lingering feelings they each have for him. There was a lingering sense of pity, one that she'd always had for Dan, that was starting to turn more into – what? Sympathizing? Commiseration? She'd been on the brunt end of both Lucas and Nathan's hostilities; she could sort of guess what he felt like.
It didn't excuse him anything, though. She knew that, felt it more acutely than most. The damage he'd done, it was almost unimaginable to her. If she didn't have a front row seat for a lot of it, she might not give it as much credence as it deserved. The fact of the matter was, she did see it, so she did know what Dan was capable of. And more to the point, she knew what he was willing to do, even to his own sons.
There was no getting past that, no matter how…almost real Dan could seem at times. Well, she supposed that he was always real, but sometimes he seemed human. Like he might actually be in possession of a heart and a soul. Of course, it usually took no more than fifteen seconds for him to turn around and disprove that notion, but it did come out occasionally.
Maybe the ones that she felt sorry for in all this, knowing that in his own way, Dan did love them, are Nathan and Lucas. If Dan were just a little less twisted, had a little less pride, knew how to keep his mouth shut once in awhile, maybe then they'd have relationships with him that weren't bigger disasters than the Titanic.
She's not sure what she's supposed to do in here; he never said yes or no to bringing a computer in here, he never showed her how to use whatever computer program she was entering the information into, and he never even told her…well, anything. Sighing, she opened a drawer and flips through the records, sighing at the sight of mundane purchase orders and sales receipts. Boring, tedious, and mounds of them – does it get any better?
"Make any progress yet?" Dan asked from the doorway some time later.
Glaring up at him, she blew a few strands of hair out of her face. "How could I make progress, Pops? I have nothing to input these into. You kinda left before I could get started," she reminded him pointedly.
"Well, you did do something in here," he noteed, looking around at some of the stacks surrounding her. "What's that if not work?"
"It's nothing," she sighed. "You left me here, with nothing to do. I don't do idle time well, so I started putting some of these in date order. I hazarded a guess that it would be most helpful to you to have the newest ones in the system first."
Blinking in surprise, he thought it over, nodding shortly when he saw the validity of her point. "Fine. Well, grab a stack, and let's go."
With a deep sigh, she grabbed the most recent forms and followed him out the door, practically growling over the fact that he didn't bother to wait or help. Not that she expected any better. Actually, if she was half as smart as people thought, she'd have figured on worse. But apparently she kept proving she didn't have quite the brainpower everyone assumed God gave her. Or else she didn't know how to use what she'd got. Either way, it sucked.
"This would work better if you didn't spend the entirety of your time here in either a snit or putting on your martyr face, Haley," he sneered at her, after showing her how to enter the forms into the computer. "You should keep that in mind."
"Yes, because pleasing you and making nice is at the top of my list of things to do today, tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year," she tossed back, throwing in a sneer that Dan was sure would make Nathan proud of her. Apparently, his son did have things to teach the little know-it-all.
"Well," he muttered, glaring at her, pissed at himself for letting her get to him, "I'll just leave you to get this started then."
"What – what are your expectations for this?" she asked tiredly. "Is there a time frame you want this done in?"
He's surprised at the question; surprised she had the maturity to ask, surprised she cared enough to do the job in a timely fashion, surprised she'd not yet resorted to the silent treatment. "Erm, I'm not sure how long it will take. I suppose it doesn't really matter, just get them all entered," he instructed, shrugging.
She raised an eyebrow at him, and he wanted to snap something at her to tell her not to question him. She opened her big mouth first, though, asking, "So this is some sort of trap so that when I don't get it all done in a day, you get to yell at me and berate me, right?"
"You're the most irritating person I've ever met," Dan snapped back at her in pure frustration. "Do your job, and there won't be any problems."
"As long as you follow your end of the bargain," Haley began, "No, there won't. But until you get Lucas that money or get him to a doctor, then there is a problem."
"Don't threaten me," he warned her.
"It isn't a threat," Haley exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. "It's a reality. That's all you have to do! Just get Lucas the medical help he needs. God, you act like you're the one risking everything you have for this stupid charade."
He rolled his eyes, still put off by the martyr act. "You might think you're some great savior of my boys, but you aren't. You are just a little girl playing in a grown up world."
"This isn't a game," she corrected him stiffly. "It isn't playtime. This is about doing the best thing I can do to help my best friend. That isn't something I'd play games with."
"Fine," he conceded with a raised eyebrow, mocking her through his eyes. "Yep. Whatever you say. You're just quite the brave little soldier, aren't you?"
"Knock it off with that. I'm not a martyr, and I don't play at being a 'brave little soldier', as you put it," she muttered tiredly. "Look, just go do your work if you aren't going to talk to Lucas today. Let me get some of this done."
"Go right ahead," he smirked, turning and stomping out of the small room he'd stuck her in. She glared at his back, half ready to chase him down the hall and continue their argument. She saw the futility in that, though, and stayed put. There was nothing she could do about Dan. If there was one thing she should know and remember in her dealings with him, it was that.
After Dan left her alone, the rest of the day actually went by fairly quickly, despite the tedium of entering the exact same info over and over ad nauseum. The only interesting part was when she'd stumbled across the forms of someone she knew – hey, financial records were sort of like medical records – you just had to look. At least it gave her something to internally gossip with herself about. Or something like that.
As she was getting ready to leave, she stacked up what she hadn't gotten to, leaving them in a pile near the computer. Once the room was tidy – not that she was sure why she was bothering to tidy it up – she headed for the door, nodding at Louie but ignoring Dan standing behind him. To her relief, Karen was there in the parking lot, again in Luke's truck, waiting for her.
Without another glance back, she hurried to the door, opening it and jumping in. "Hey," she offered softly in greeting. "Thanks for getting me. If it weren't so dark, you know I'd walk. Actually, if it weren't dark and raining, I'd walk. I think I have some sort of wicked witch thing where I'll melt in the rain." 'Unless I'm with Nathan,' she can't help but add miserably in her head.
Karen smiled kindly at her, reaching over and patting her hand. "Don't worry about it, Haley," she offered the young girl. "It's no big deal."
"Yeah, it is," Haley disagreed with a wry smile. "Here I am, totally messing things up for you at the café by leaving you in the lurch, and then you have to chauffer me around. I promise, this is the last time. I'll get there on my own from now on. Hey, maybe I can get an unmarked company car! That'd be fun!"
"Stop it, Haley," Karen sighed, her tone sterner this time as she glanced at the girl so like a daughter to her. "I'd rather drop everything I was doing and drive you anywhere you needed to go than worry about you walking. So don't think like this is a hassle. It isn't."
Knowing she'd stumbled her way into an argument she couldn't possibly win, Haley nodded and mumbled her 'thanks'. "It – I'm lucky to have you."
"Oh, honey," Karen grinned, squeezing her hand. "Luke and I are just as lucky to have you, I promise you that. And Nathan is, too, maybe even more so. He'll realize that soon, you know that, right?"
"We'll see," Haley smiled slightly, not able to let go of her fears enough to do much entertaining of that possibility.
"He will, Haley. I've seen how he looks at you, like every second he's apart from you, it gets a little harder to breathe."
"I don't want him to feel that way," she countered, sighing. "I mean, I want him back, and I guess for him to come to want me back, he'll have to go through that. But I just hate thinking of him feeling even a fraction of the way I feel about it. It just…oh, I don't know."
"Sucks?" Karen offered, smiling when Haley lets out a small giggle.
"Yeah, there's a word for it."
Catching Haley's eye as they idled at a stoplight, Karen attempted to give her a reassuring smile. "He'll come around. It just takes a little time, sometimes."
"And it will be worth the wait," Haley dutifully quoted, rolling her eyes playfully. Despite the progress she and Nathan have seemed to make, she knew that it would only get tougher to mend things with him as she started spending more and more of her time working for Dan. And that was assuming he didn't find out where she's working, and hate her for that betrayal alone. Shuddering, she brushed off Karen's concerned look, forcing a smile on her face.
"It will be," Karen promised her fervently, concerned at the obvious withdrawal Haley seemed to be doing. If this was what working for Dan was going to do to the girl, Karen wouldn't let it go on for long. There was no way she was going to let Dan ruin the life of yet another person she loved, especially that of another child. He'd already got two of those under his belt; she wouldn't let him add Haley to that count.
The thing was, she didn't see that as being his motive. Besides, Haley had never, ever backed down from Dan, and from what Lucas had told her, the only time Haley even copped to being nervous around him was when he showed up to deliver the divorce papers to her. So that she'd seem so nervous and jumpy about things now and acting like she was pulling away or distancing herself, that gave Karen some pause.
"Is there anything else going on?" Karen finally decided to just ask. "Anything you'd like to tell me, Haley?"
The offer was tempting, and Haley actually did consider how much easier her life would be if she could confess to Karen. She couldn't, though. She'd dug herself a hole already by subverting Karen and going to work for Dan to purposely hide Luke's illness, not to mention betray and lie to both Luke and Nathan, so no matter what now, she didn't want anyone to find out. They found out, she lost. Big time.
And no matter how worth she insisted it would be to Dan, in her heart, she worried that it was something she couldn't possibly bear, them finding out the truth.
"Everything is fine," Haley said finally, looking over at Karen. "Guess I'm still just acclimating to the idea of working for Dan."
"Was he that horrible?" Karen asked with a groan. "Well, of course he was, he's Dan. What else would he be, right?"
"It's mostly just me," Haley corrected. "Dan, I don't know, he kind of rolls off my back, you know? In some ways, I feel sorry for him more than anything else. I know what he has missed out on with the way he's chosen to live his life."
"It's his choice, why do you feel sorry for him about it?" Karen asked, unsure what Haley meant.
"Sometimes – god, I don't know, should I be talking to you about this?" Haley sighed in frustration. "It – I don't want to upset you with talk of him."
"It won't upset me, I promise," Karen smiled at her, deliberately heading for her house instead of Haley's apartment. The girl would get a good meal tonight, and maybe not have to worry about Dan or anything else that was troubling her for a bit.
Haley looked a little doubtful at the assertion, but she shrugged and plowed on. "Maybe I'm wrong, but sometimes I think he's sorry about how things are with Nathan and Lucas," she told her, shrugging as if in apology for her words.
"Why?" Karen asked simply.
"A look on his face when I mention one of them, the way his voice catches in his throat when he says their names sometimes. Little things."
"Are you sure you aren't seeing those things because they're something that most fathers feel for their children? That you aren't, I don't know, maybe projecting them?" Karen asked quietly.
"You've seen them, too," Haley persisted, holding her breath. It was one thing to notice Karen noticing Dan, but it was quite another to let Karen know she had noticed all of the noticing.
Karen stared straight forward, not daring to look over at her. Haley raised an eyebrow, seeing the truth in Karen's body language as her hands turned white gripping the steering wheel and her lips compressed into a thin, straight line.
"I'm not sure what you think you are seeing, Haley, but I don't believe there is anything there," Karen announced, still not meeting her gaze. There are truths that she didn't want to face herself; she definitely did not want to face them with a girl who was almost a daughter to her.
Haley nodded, turning away to look out the window. She felt immediately awful for making Karen uncomfortable, but she has always had a knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, so what else was new? "I'm sorry," she mumbled, not looking back over.
"It's okay, Haley. Please don't worry about it."
"No, it isn't," she sighed, finally glancing back towards Karen. "Why can't I ever learn to keep my big mouth shut? I mean, not only can I not shut up, but I have to go around putting words into other people's mouths, too. How's that for overkill?"
"Haley, stop," Karen laughed, making Haley feel immensely better about everything. "Don't worry about it for another second."
Haley nodded, blinking in surprise when it finally registered where they are. "Uh, Karen," she laughed, "I think you forgot to drop me off."
"No, I didn't forget. You're coming over for dinner. And you're staying the night, if I can talk you into it. Then I can take you to work tomorrow."
"Oh, no, you don't have to do that," Haley protested quietly. "I'll be fine, Karen. It isn't that far from the apartment."
"Be real, kid, you know I'm doing it because I want to, not because I feel I have to or need to," Karen promised, attempting to assuage her fears.
"You really are like a second mom," she smiled in return. "You know, if you were my mother-in-law, things would be so much nicer."
"Ah, but if I were your mother-in-law, I'd have had to hunt you down and kick your butt for leaving my son," Karen smiled, "And then I couldn't have let you chase your dream. See, you win some and you lose some. Besides, you are a little too much like a daughter to me to date my son. That would be ooky."
"I guess so," Haley laughed in resignation. "I didn't mean for that, I just meant in general."
"Deb doesn't hate you, Haley."
"Maybe not, but she sure resents the hell out of me."
Parking the car, Karen let out a little sigh. "Come on, let's go in the house. And let's not spend anymore time thinking about Dan or Deb, okay?"
"Sounds like a plan to me," Haley laughed, her good mood slightly dimmed by the preoccupied look on Karen's face, indicating that she was indeed still thinking of one or the other. She resolved not to think about what that look means, not now. If it went the way everything else goes, it was not good.
"See you later, man," Nathan waved to Tim as he got out of his car. Tim had tried to talk Nathan into attending some big blowout one of the guys on the team was throwing, but Nathan was pretty sure that Lucas would be there and Haley wouldn't, so he didn't see any point of bothering with that.
A part of him thought that he should go to the party; if nothing else, it would prove he had nothing to prove. He just didn't want to, though. When he saw that both his parents' cars were in the drive, he's pretty sure that want shouldn't have figured into it, and that he should've just gone regardless. Anything to avoid another night of listening to them fighting and pulling pranks usually perpetrated by the elementary-aged crowd.
"Nathan!" Deb exclaimed, running over to him the second he walked through the door. "Hi honey, oh, how are you? Do you need anything? Dinner? A sandwich? Water?"
He fought the urge to roll his eyes – all she did these days was fawn over him, and while it was nice when it was novel, it had just degraded into a farce. "I'm fine, Mom. Tim and I ran through a drive-thru on the way home."
"Oh, well, you know, that's not the most healthy food in the world, Nathan," Deb sighed, frowning lightly in consternation. "You should come home and let me cook for you."
"You don't cook, Deb," Dan reminded her snidely from behind his newspaper, "You bring home takeout and scoop it onto plates."
"Butt out, Dan!" Deb fairly screamed at him. Nathan inwardly groaned. "It's not like you do any better, is it?"
"I do my part," he shrugged, not looking at her or Nathan. Nathan shook his head, wondering if they'd even notice if he left the room.
"Good night," he mumbled under his breath, trying to make his escape.
"Going to bed now?" Dan asked skeptically.
"Leave him alone, Dan!" Deb ordered sharply. "If he wants to sleep, let him sleep. My God, do you have to criticize everything we do?"
"I was just surprised he was going to bed at 8 on a Saturday night, Deb, that's all. Not exactly crime of the century, right?"
"No, of course not," she sneered. "Those are usually perpetrated against you, with good reason. Next time someone sets you on fire, they'd be doing us a favor if they were just a little better at it, wouldn't they?"
"Mom!" Nathan interrupted, appalled at where this was going. "Just go. Don't worry about it, for once I don't think he meant anything."
"Don't defend him! Don't you dare defend him after all he's done to us!"
"I – I wasn't," Nathan sighed tiredly, looking warily between the two of them. Predictably, Deb looked a nervous wreck and Dan looked like the cat that ate the damn canary. Nathan could almost imagine a yellow feather sticking out the corner of his mouth if he closed his eyes for a minute or two.
Letting out a huff of air, Deb turned and stomped out of the room, shoving past Dan as she went. He just rolled his eyes, and Nathan tried to stop her, but she didn't even acknowledge him. "Well, there you go," Dan chuckled. "Never a dull moment around here."
"If either of you two started acting like grown ups, I think I'd die of shock," Nathan mumbled. "I can't believe you have to egg her on like that."
"What?" Dan spit out. "Oh, no, this is not to be blamed on me this time. I barely said two words to her. It's you she's upset with."
"It's not me," Nathan smirked, shaking his head at Dan's delusions. "It's you. It's always you. Why don't you just let her go, Dad? She doesn't want to be married to you, you make her miserable. She seems to make you miserable. God, we're all miserable."
"And that's my doing, I suppose," Dan noted, avoiding eye contact with his younger son. He didn't even know what to say to him anymore without it becoming an accusation or a command or worse. There was nothing he could say that wouldn't antagonize Nathan, and it was best to keep his mouth shut, if he could manage that.
"Yeah, it is your fault, Dad," Nathan ground out. "She was never a basketcase like this until you started torturing her."
"So, is it Haley's fault, for torturing you through the confines of marriage, or is it mine, too, in your case?" Dan asked with a sneer, knowing that the mention of Haley would send Nathan over the edge.
"Don't say her name again. You haven't earned the right to even talk about her!" Nathan exclaimed, unendingly defensive about Haley and their relationship, especially when it came to his father.
"Oh, get off of it," Dan sighed. "This relationship of yours is dead in the water, and you're still so messed up over this girl that you can't even hear me say her name?"
"It's not dead, Dad."
"Excuse me?" Dan asked sharply, eyeing his son now. "What does that mean?"
"It means that she's my wife, and yeah, she made some mistakes and I made some mistakes, but what we have doesn't just go away because of that."
"Nice," Dan smirked, inwardly feeling defeated by his son's proclamations. "Well, if that's how you feel, perhaps it is best if you move back out, as you are still considered emancipated. I'm not here to support the methods of procuring teenage sex that you've chosen."
"You have no clue what you're talking about," Nathan shook his head. "Where do you even get off saying that? You don't know Haley, you don't know what she's all about, and you don't know me, either."
"Fine, Nathan, have it your way. I'm just your clueless father."
"Yeah, you are that," Nathan agreed, stomping out of the room, mentally cursing both his parents for their clueless attitudes toward him.
Pulling out his phone, he was dialing her number even as he was on his way up the stairs towards his bedroom. He didn't want to analyze it, but right now, he needed to hear her voice. He needed to know she was there, thinking of him, hoping for the both of them. Fair or not, he needed that now. Badly.
"Hey, Nathan," she drawled slowly into the phone, surprise tingeing her voice. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah," he sighed, taking a deep breath. "Just wanted to see how the new job was so far."
"Oh, it was fine. No big deal," she sputtered out. "Anyway, it was nothing worth talking about, really boring."
"What?" he laughed. "It's a new job, first day. Couldn't have been that boring."
"Trust me, it was. So, what's up?"
"I thought we were talking about you," he teased. "That's why I called, after all."
"That's nice, Nathan. Thank you."
"You're welcome." He cleared his throat, pausing. "Actually, can I tell you the truth about something? About why I called?"
"I'd like that," she agreed.
"I just – I don't know, I needed to hear your voice. Dad and I got into it, just a little, and you're the only one who has ever made me feel better after that."
"What happened?" she asked softly. "What did he do now?"
Nathan chuckled lightly, feeling better. "Thank you. For just automatically assuming that it is something he did."
"Well, come on, when isn't it?" she joked. "Dan is like a Big Bad come to life, you know? When you try hard enough, I bet you can picture him sitting in a room filled with video screens with everyone in his life represented on them while he has a white cat perched on his lap and he's twirling his mustache, right?"
He full-on laughed at that, and she joined in with him. "Okay, I definitely needed a laugh like that. Thank you, Haley. I'm picturing him trapped in a net dropped on him by Scooby and the gang!"
"There's nothing to thank me for," she assured him. "You can call me anytime, you can stop by anytime, I'm always here for you. Just…know that."
"Yeah, I know. Thanks." Roughly clearing his throat, he took a deep breath. "Hales, I better go. I just wanted – you know."
"Yeah, I know. I'll see you at school on Monday, Nathan. Have a good weekend."
They hung up, and he had to admit, that just talking to her had made him feel much better about everything. There was no quick fix for them; they both knew that at this point. Maybe this was a step, or a start, in the right direction.
That was all he could ask for right then.