(A/N:) I'm so so so sorry for the late update! I really don't have any excuse.. Anyways, enjoy!

4.

The following morning, Aria's daughter, Chloe, woke up unsettled. She had heard her mother crying all night long last and wondered what the hell was going on. A few years ago, Chloe had pieced it together that her father cheated on her mom. Aria and John both acted as if nothing was wrong around their children, but thin walls and loud voices spoke the truth.

They only fought in their room and tried to be as quiet as possible, but thanks to the close proximity of their room to Chloe's, and the fact that she wasn't as dumb as they thought, Chloe figured the problem out easily.

Listening to her mother cry, she thought about how off her mom had been yesterday. She seemed mopey and on edge, as if one tap of a finger could break her completely. Chloe grew worried that her father started up his less than loyal activities again. She had a feeling that if the whole cheating again happened a second time, Chloe would soon be dividing time amongst her parents every weekend.

Chloe crept out of her room and padded downstairs to get a start on breakfast when she noticed a note plastered on the guest bedroom door, her mom's handwriting sprawled on it. Chloe, wondering what was up, knocked gently before pushing the door open a little. "Mom?"

Aria moved a little, noticing her daughter in the doorway, and propped herself up on pillows. "Yeah, baby?"

Chloe opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't think of anything to say. Steadily, she walked further into the room before sitting down at the foot of the bed. "Are you okay?"

Déjà vu struck Aria. She felt like she was going through Ezra hell all over again and her daughter's choice of words happened to match Mona Vanderwaal's after she came home from the ski lift. Thinking of it all again, Aria had to bite her lip to hold back tears. "Yeah, honey, I'm fine… what time is it?"

"It's a little after six," Chloe answered. "But considering that I heard you come up here only about an hour ago, I'll make sure Dad leaves you alone, if you want."

Aria smiled weakly at her daughter. "Thanks, Chlo."

"No problem…" she paused before repeating. "Are you sure you're okay? Last night I heard you… I heard you crying and –"

"I'm fine," Aria said briskly. "Don't worry about me so much."

Chloe looked down before whispering, "Is it about Dad?"

Aria sighed and saw herself in Chloe so much. She remembered having long talks with her mom about Byron and their marital problems. Aria always thought she didn't want that for her children and didn't want to put them through something similar. But in the last few years, that desire flew out the window.

"It's just… it's not about your dad. I'm sort of… I'm dealing with something, but sweetie, it's really nothing you have to worry about. Now go get ready for school, okay?"

Begrudgingly, Chloe nodded. "Okay. Bye, mom." Aria didn't say anything back as Chloe left the dark room. Chloe still had an off feeling and wanted to know what was happening with her mom. What was she dealing with if it wasn't about her father? Was her mom now cheating on her dad? Were they both just cheating on each other?

For the next few minutes, Aria sobbed silently to herself. She hated being so vulnerable, especially in front of her children. Leave it to one appearance from Ezra to drag her back into a constant state of sadness.

After she found out about John, Aria blamed herself. She blamed herself for everything; for John cheating, for letting the family she had crack, for not being as attentive as she should. It got so bad that she talked to Ella, who had suggested therapy since Dr. Sullivan worked so well when Aria was younger.

Aria hadn't been opposed to the idea surprisingly enough. Unlike her friends, Aria had been fine with having to go to Dr. Sullivan. She had helped a lot in her teen years. So had the counselor that was at Rosewood High, Jesse. He had helped Aria get over the anger she had when she had to lie to everyone about Ezra.

Things don't change much, do they?

Aria had ended up going to a therapist after John cheated and as she laid in the guest room, Aria considered making an impromptu meeting sometime this week. All she needed was to let her feelings out, and she would be okay.

She listened as her children scurried around to get ready and she heard John stomp to the guest room door before sighing. Oh boo hoo, Aria thought, you have to take the kids to school. Soon enough, John did, and once everyone was gone, Aria started to cry, finally allowing herself to bawl as loud as she wished, which was pretty damn loud.

After almost an hour of crying, Aria wiped her eyes and face before getting up and creating a plan. She dashed to her bedroom, threw on some make up, and dressed herself in a subpar outfit. In a flash, she was out the door, in her car, and driving to Manhattan.

Ezra

It was only nine thirty and Ezra already interviewed two other applicants. As if he were choosing a new girlfriend, all Ezra was doing was comparing the potential workers to Aria. That's who he wanted for the job, he didn't want anyone else.

Currently, he was on an early, much needed break. Seeing Aria really wore him down. He didn't think he would ever get the chance to hear her melodic voice, see her stunning features, or try to apologize again. He hated that she had started crying, though. He couldn't blame her, but he could never bare to see her cry and after years and years of Aria bawling being the freshest memories, he wished he could've seen her smiling or laughing. She had such a beautiful laugh.

All of a sudden, there were repetitive sharp knocks on his door, which didn't help Ezra's hangover at all. Once he left work yesterday and got home, he must have downed a gallon of scotch. Sighing, he called from his desk, "I'm on break."

The knocking paused before it started again. Ezra scoffed and got up from his desk to answer the door. Once he opened it, Aria stumbled in, tear stains marring her cheeks and her finger pointed at him. If looks could kill, he would have been six feet under.

Ezra stepped back from her as she opened her mouth to speak. Before she started, though, she wisely turned around and shut the door. Ezra was thankful for that, not needing a repeat of yesterday.

Aria seemingly lost her will to speak, so Ezra prompted, "Aria, are you –"

She cut him off and began, "I left with dignity? Are you kidding me?"

Ezra instantly knew what she was referring to and his face fell. "Aria- "

"It killed me to hurt her," Aria quoted. "I actually made her hate me. Someone who didn't make her feel unhappy and sore hearted every week. I doubt I was worth crying over."

He stood before her, paralyzed with shock and worry. Ezra knew she was either mad or upset about the book he wrote all about them, but wasn't sure what she was getting at.

Aria, sensing that he was confused, added snippily, "Those were a few of my favorite quotes from your book."

"Why?" Ezra whispered, not able to think of a better response.

"Why?" Aria laughed. It was bitter laugh that sent chills through Ezra's body. "If it hurt you so bad to hurt me, why did you do any of it?"

Ezra gulped and was once again at a loss of words. Aria just went on, not giving him enough time to think of something to say. "And you think I honestly hate you? You think that you made me unhappy? That you weren't even worth me crying?" She paused before sighing. "For someone who took notes down on every little thing, you sure did miss a lot."

"I'm sorry," Ezra mumbled, not knowing what else he could say. He firmly believed that he wasn't worth her tears, she did hate him, and he was positive he made her unhappy.

Aria just huffed. "If I hated you, why would I be here? Why would you? Why wouldn't I have turned you into the cops if I hated you?"

"I don't, I don't know," Ezra whispered.

"It's because I don't hate you. Have you forgotten about me so much that you honestly think I do?"

It was Ezra's turn to bark out a non-humorous laugh. "Forgotten about you? Aria, I've thought about you every day since you walked out of my life. Did you read the book at all? I published that years after I left."

Aria stared at him, suddenly realizing that she shouldn't have come and talked to him at all. "I think about you, too. And sometimes, most times, I think of how much shit we had to go through, and how much it hurt to leave you and try to forget. But I think of other things too. Despite what you think, Ezra, you did make me happy. And the fact that you don't think you did, it makes me feel like you weren't even there." She paused and let a tear fall down her cheek. Ezra continued to look at her and wished he could wipe the salty tear away for her like old times. "I mean, did you just think about the book?"

"No," Ezra said quickly, finding the words to say. "Aria, no. I do remember the good things, but face it, I did make you unhappy. When I wrote that, and thought back on everything, the bad always overshadowed the good."

"No, it didn't," Aria argued, before half joking, "God, when did you turn into such a pessimist?"

"When you told me to leave and acted like I was nothing!" Ezra shouted, regretting words as soon as they were out of his mouth.

Aria gaped at him. "Ezra," she began, more tears falling. She felt her throat close up, but she powered through it and protested, "In the book, you wrote that you thought you heard me cry after I left your apartment the last time we spoke." Aria paused and looked away from him. "I did. I was a mess for weeks, months."

"If you were upset, why did you go? If you didn't want it to be over, you should've told me. We could have worked it out and –"

"It would have been too hard," Aria whispered. "I guess I was just too stubborn. But, Ezra… that book, I stayed up until five am reading it."

Ezra shrugged his shoulders, "Did you like it?"

Aria laughed a little, and it wasn't the bitter laugh from minutes ago. "It's not on my list of favorite books ever, but it was interesting. I wish I had read it years ago."

"I really am sorry," Ezra sighed. "If I could go back and tell you, I would. I was just terrified that I would lose you forever. I know I did anyway, but I always think that if I hadn't told so many lies, maybe things would be different."

"Maybe," Aria mumbled.

Ezra sat back down in his office chair as Aria sat down in the chair in front of his desk. "Do you still want the job?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Um," Aria stuttered. She did, but walking into work, seeing Ezra every day, she wasn't so sure. "I do, but I don't."

He nodded slowly and pulled out a file from his stack. "So, you worked at a newspaper?"

Aria smiled very slightly at him conveniently beginning a job interview and nodded, "Yeah, yeah I did."

XXXX

A few hours later, Aria stepped out of the office building with a heavy heart. Ezra and her had carried out an amicable job interview. It was tense to say the least, but it was nice. It was nice hearing his voice, seeing his face, getting hit with nostalgia.

Nevertheless, she still didn't know what the hell to think. She wanted the job, she wanted him back in her life, but she didn't want to think of Ezra. It was like she was in a constant game of tug a war between her heart and her brain.

So, as scheduled, she stepped into a different building at 3:30 pm. She traveled to the second floor before stepping into a cozy space where a Dr. Carol Gordon resided during a business week. The therapist stepped out and greeted Aria, "Mrs. Curtis, it's so nice to see you again. It's been a while."

"Montgomery-Curtis," Aria retorted sharply. She had refused to take John's name when they had gotten married. "It's nice to see you, too."

Carol just smiled and led her inside and offered her the couch that was positioned in front of a chair. "Let's get started, shall we?" Aria sat down and got comfortable before Carol asked, "So what brings you back to my office."

Aria drummed her fingers along the plush sofa cushion, not knowing where to begin. "Well, lately, I've just… I feel tired. Just really, extremely exhausted."

"Is this as bad as the last time we discussed?" Aria's therapist questioned.

Aria shook her head, "No, no, it's different. Um, this isn't centered around John, it's about – about me."

"Ok, well, what's going on in your life right now? Is there a certain problem always on your mind or is it a mix of things?"

"It's a mix," Aria confirmed, "but, there is something going on in particular. Or someone in particular."

Carol nodded very slowly and wrote something down on her notepad. Aria quirked an eyebrow before Carol asked, "And the person is not John?"

"No," Aria replied. Ezra was a very hard person to talk about and Aria felt her throat close up. Since the whole book ordeal, Aria had only talked to people about Ezra a handful of times. She had shared a conversation with her mom, and one with Alison, and a few with her friends. But once she left Rosewood, she told no one. Not her new partners, not her new friends, and certainly not John.

Dr. Gordon could tell that she had struck a cord and questioned, "Aria, why is this someone a problem now?"

"He's not. He's always been a problem. He's… always been on the back of my mind but now…" she faded off as she felt her eyes glaze with tears. "He's been a problem since I was sixteen."

"Sixteen?" her therapist asked, shock evident in her voice. "Aria, is this person… has this person been harming you at all? I know you went through some stuff in high school and -"

"No, no, he wasn't really a part of that," Aria argued, only half believing herself. "Emotionally, you could say yes, though."

"Let me guess," Carol began, "High school sweetheart?"

Aria let a pained smile break out on her face. "You could say that, too." Aria looked back up at the therapist and could tell by the doctor's facial expression that she wanted more details. "Um, we were together for a couple of years. He, he was my first real boyfriend, I guess." She paused and let out a sad laugh as the first tears slipped from her hazel eyes. "He was my first everything."

"That's probably why he has such a hold on you," Dr. Gordon remarked. "He's a part of numerous, valuable memories. It's easier to forget someone and move on if the person wasn't anything special. From your behavior, it seems like this guy was very special to you."

"He was," Aria replied. "I always picked him. Over friends, family… over everything. We went through a lot and, honestly, I'm surprised we lasted as long as we did."

The therapist readjusted in her seat before questioning, "What ultimately drove you two apart?"

Aria didn't know how to begin answering that question. "Different things. I think that we both knew we were fading fast, but then something happened and we broke for good."

Dr. Gordon had enough intuition to know that Aria would not be telling her what that something was in this one session. The doctor guessed that that would take at least a few more appointments. "You mentioned that you picked him over friends and family. How did they feel about him?"

Aria stifled a sardonic laugh. "My family was not very… supportive of him. My friends weren't either, at first, but then they came around. My parents did, too, eventually, but I don't think my mom or dad ever really liked him and I together."

Dr. Gordon nodded as she scribbled something down on her notepad before repeating a previous, unanswered question. "Why is this person a problem now?"

"Well, I ran into him," Aria said briskly. "I applied for a job and when I went in for the interview, he would be my boss."

"That seems like it would be rough," Dr. Gordon said slowly.

Aria nodded. "I really want the job, just to do something besides watch afternoon talk shows at home, but seeing him every day, I don't know if I can handle it."

"Have you talked to John at all about this?"

Shaking her head vehemently, Aria responded, "No, no, he doesn't even know about this guy. I haven't really told anyone about him since we broke up. When I met John, I was still hurting and the last thing I wanted to talk about was my ex."

"But that was years ago, Aria. Why not bring him up after you and John were married?"

Aria sighed, "It still hurts. This conversation alone is killing me. It's so hard talking about him."

"Take the job," Dr. Gordon. "It might give you some closure on the matter. But, if it gets too hard, don't be afraid to come talk to me."

Glancing at the clock, Aria realized her time was almost up. She got up off the couch, thanked the therapist, and then walked out. Aria still didn't know what to do. She could take the job like advised, but could she really work with Ezra every day?

(A/N:) So, do you think Aria will take the job? And what do you think about Chloe? Her daughter is clearly catching onto things that Aria's trying to hide...

Don't forget to review! :)