Lupin sat on a park bench somewhere in North London. He was not exactly sure where he was; he had been wandering for—how long had it been? It was a strange feeling, not knowing where he was or how he had got there, or indeed how long it had taken him. He was unaware of the looks he was getting, sitting there in his robes among all the Muggles eating their lunch. It must, therefore, be some time close to midday. He wondered what his next move should be.

He had left the Tonks house at about seven o' clock, before the family had woken, with nothing but Sirius's letter, a small purse of gold and his wand. He had Apparated to Grimmauld Place and found Death Eaters outside the door. Luckily they had not seen him, but it forced Lupin to make another plan. Eventually, he decided to Apparate right to the doorstep and quickly dash inside. He had been hoping to begin his life in the rooms where Sirius had lived, able to feel Sirius's presence every minute of the day.

Harry Potter had been there, with Ron and Hermione. He remembered the feeling of instant panic, the way he had heard blood pounding in his ears. They would ask why he was here, perhaps they would guess. Lupin had felt his secret like a mark upon him; surely they must know that he had left his wife to live, like a ghost, in the house of the man he loved. They had not asked why he was there, though. They had seemed hungry for news about the outside world, just as Sirius had been during his confinement in the old house. It had been hard breaking all the news: none of it had been good.

It was then he had seen a way forward for all of them. Harry's face was so like James's, they were alike in temperament. Lupin had supposed that, like James, Harry would have wanted assistance in his endeavours. So many years ago, James had always consulted Lupin, Sirius and Peter about the appropriate courses of action to take, and had always been grateful for their counsel. With Sirius gone, and Peter turned bad, Lupin was sure that he should help James's son.

It had not gone the way he had hoped, though. The three seemed utterly appalled at him leaving Tonks. Disgusted. Perhaps he had sounded too callous when he had said he would leave his wife and their unborn child. He had forgotten how fiercely loyal Harry was, how all he had ever longed for was a father. Lupin had not, of course, given his full reasons for why he felt the marriage was a mistake. He had not wanted to see the revulsion of the three youngsters when he explained that he was unsure if he had ever even really loved Tonks, as his heart belonged to a dead man.

He should have expected it all, of course. It had been reckless of him to try to force his presence upon them. Harry was right when he had said he was trying to become Sirius, even though the statement had made him so angry he had ran. He had been wandering ever since.

Lupin looked at his feet. Some of the Muggles had clearly taken him to be a tramp and thrown loose change. One had even thrown a cigarette. Lupin had not smoked in twenty years, but felt so miserable right now that it would only be comforting. He lit it with his wand and coughed slightly. He started to feel his mind clearing, the appropriate course of action forming. It was a crossroads: he could opt for a life of loneliness, or the companionship of his wife. The solitude which had seemed to appealing earlier, he realised, would be no sort of life at all and would make him more of an outcast than ever. He would return to Tonks. There could be no other way. He had been utterly selfish, when there were so many people who needed him to make the right choices. He would no longer wallow in self-pity, but throw himself into his marriage and make a life for his own little family. When his path crossed with Harry's again, he would make sure Harry knew the changes he had wrought.

Tonks was near-hysterical as Lupin walked through the door. She flew at him, wrapped her arms tight around his shoulders and pressed her body tight against his.

"I was so worried!" she said, half-sobbing. "Where did you go? We thought that they'd got you, that you'd be shipped off to Azkaban, or killed and we'd never know anything about it."

"I'm here, I'm fine," Lupin murmured soothingly. "I just…" What? He had been so swift to Apparate back, that he had not thought of any reason for him to have been missing from the house for hours. "I went for a walk. Sometimes it helps shake off the sickness after a full moon. It makes me feel horribly ill sometimes." He felt as sick as he said he had at the lie. It was an insult to Tonks's intelligence and he hated to use his lycanthopy as an excuse. Especially as it worked like a Get Out Of Azkaban Free card with Tonks.

"Tell me next time, won't you?"

"I will," Lupin said softly, stroking her hair. She was calmer now, though still held on to him as though he might disappear again. Lupin never would, not now. He was glad he had made the right choice, to stay with Tonks.

As a penance, Lupin suggested that they redecorate her bedroom. With very little money, it would be difficult, but with creative use of magic and a selection of paints that had been down in the cellar, it was possible. It would make a fun little project since both were in hiding and there was little else to do.

Tonks gleefully threw away a lot of old stuff without a moment's thought. She said that much of it was old and broken anyway. Lupin had teased that he, too, was old and broken, and Tonks had kissed him and said that some things were worth keeping. She did not keep much, apart from a small shoebox full of her most precious things. Lupin had no intention of looking in there, though he did feel curious about what she might want to keep.

The poster on the wall, the twee boy-band, cruelly defaced, would not budge.

"I liked Dragonz when I was thirteen," Tonks sighed. "So much that I put a Permanent Sticking Charm on the poster. I thought I'd never stop loving them. By the time I was fifteen I'd changed, but…" she gestured to the poster, and looked exasperated. "I suppose we can paint over it."

The room, when complete, looked thoroughly different. It was not perfect: two walls were white, one black, one the colour of cat sick. However, it was undeniably larger, with much of the clutter gone. It finally hit Lupin that this was now his bedroom, the room in which he would fall asleep next to his wife every night for the foreseeable future. He was surprised at how comfortable he found this thought. A few days earlier, he had left Tonks, and now he was looking forward to disrobing and curling up next to her, then waking up to her kisses.

That night, there were no dreams of Sirius, and Lupin slept with a half-smile on his lips.