Disclaimer: All material of familiarity is owned, copyrighted, and otherwise credited to the parties to which it belongs, that being Roald Dahl, who penned the book from which this story and its chapters are adapted, and perhaps Warner Bros. Studios for the production of the film adaptations of Dahl's book. This story merely borrows the characters for use in a different reality...
CH IV: The Return
In the President's office, the board and president had settled into an ominous mood. The link between the Hotel and the study had gone silent.
"Something's happened," said the President.
"It's those men from Mars," said the ex-Chief of the Army. "I told you to let me blow them up."
"Silence!" snapped the President. "I've got to think."
The loudspeaker began to crackle. "Hello? Are you receiving me, Space Control in Houston?"
The president grabbed the mike on his desk. "Leave this to me, Houston!" he shouted. "The President, speaking, receiving you loud and clear! Go ahead!"
"Astronaut Shuckworth here, Mr. President, back aboard the Commuter Capsule- thank heavens!"
"What happened, Shuckworth? Who's with you?"
"We're most of us here, Mr. President…of course, most is a relative term…Shanks and Showler are here with me, and a whole bunch of other folks. I think we may have lost a few dozen people."
"What do you mean lost?" shouted the President. "How did you lose them?"
"Gobbled up!" replied Shuckworth. "One gulp and that was it! I saw a six-foot man get swallowed up like you'd swallow a lump of ice cream, Mr. President! No chewing-nothing. Just down the hatch!
"But who?" yelled the President "Who are you talking about? Who did the swallowing?"
"They were huge, ugly things that could…hold it!" cried Shuckworth, his voice nearly drowned out by the screams of panic from the remaining hotel staff. "Oh my Lord, here they all come now! They're coming out in swarms! They're heading straight for…"
his words were lost in a crackle of static, the transmission having cut out. In his office, the President opened his mouth to say yet another bad word, but he was stopped by a fierce look from Miss Tibbs, the Vice President. "Shanks!" cried the President! Can you hear me? What's happening up there?"
But the astronauts could no more hear the President than he could hear them…the KNIDs had begun their attack, ramming the Commuter Capsule with their bodies, not breaking it, but denting it badly, and disabling the communications device. The ship's booster rockets were also crippled in the attack, leaving them helpless to escape from the KNIDs. "What should we do?" cried Shanks as he ran around in panicked circles. "None of the controls work!"
"It's all over, man! Game over!" Showler said this as he stared wide-eyed out the main viewing port, hands trembling.
"Get a hold of yourselves, both of you!" Shuckworth yelled at them. "It's not over until we're dead!"
"Like that's supposed to make us feel any better…" Showler muttered, though he stopped his pacing. "What should we do? What can we do? This hunk of metal doesn't have any weapons on it, does it?"
"No," Shanks said. "It's a commuter vessel, not a warship."
"Oh, hell." Shuckworth said suddenly, his eyes directed to the window. A hundred pairs of eyes followed…to see the KNIDs assembling, like a swarm of giant, murderous bees.
"Well gentlemen," Shuckworth said quietly, "It was a pleasure serving with you." Shanks and Showler nodded. "Same to you, sir."
"Hey, what's that?" a hall porter said abruptly, pointing. Shuckworth squinted. "It's the…the men from Mars and Venus!"
While the astronauts and staff were being chased out of the Space Hotel by the KNIDs, Mr. Wonka's Great Glass Elevator was orbiting the earth at a tremendous speed. They were trying to outrun an angry KNID that had decided to chase them, but were having no luck. And pretty soon, they found out that they had gone so fast and so far, that they had orbited the earth completely…and were right back at where they had started, in front of the Space Hotel, USA.
"Good heavens! It's the Space Hotel!" Grandpa Joe cried in disbelief.
"It can't be, Grandpa. We left it behind miles ago."
"Ah," said Mr. Wonka. "We've been going so fast that we've gone all the way around the earth and caught up with it again! A splendid effort!"
"And there's the commuter capsule! Can you see it, Grandpa, just behind the Hotel?"
"There's something else there, too, Charlie, if I'm not mistaken!"
"I know what those are! Screamed Grandma Josephine. "They're vermicious KNIDs! Turn back at once!
"Dear lady," Mr. Wonka said calmly, "This isn't an automobile on a highway. When you are in orbit, you cannot stop and you cannot go backward."
"I could scarcely care! Just get us out of here before those brutes get us!"
"Now let's stop this nonsense once and for all" said Mr. Wonka sternly. "You know very well that my Elevator is KNIDproof. You have nothing to fear."
They were closer now and could see the KNIDs swarming around the Commuter Capsule.
"They're attacking it! cried Charlie. "They're after the Commuter Capsule!"
"I doubt very much if that capsule is KNIDproof, murmured Mr. Wonka.
"Then we must help them!" said Charlie. "We've got to do something!"
"And so we shall, my boy…" Mr. Wonka said, tugging his top hat firmly on his head. "But what can we possibly do with all those KNIDs? I'm afraid the Elevator doesn't come equipped with any weaponry, not yet anyway."
"Why don't we just tow them down?"
Mr. Wonka jumped. Even though he was floating, he somehow jumped, propelling himself upward until his hat touched the ceiling. Then he spun around three times in the air and cried, "Charlie! You've done it! That's it! We'll tow them out of orbit! To the buttons, quick!"
"Excuse me, Mr. Wonka," Grandpa Joe said mildly, "but what do we tow them with? Our neckties?"
"Don't worry about that," Mr. Wonka replied, floating over to his black and white buttons. "The Elevator is ready for anything! Let's go!"
Grandma Josephine, far from feeling heroic, screamed, but she was hushed by Grandpa Joe.
"Grandpa Joe, sir, kindly jet yourself to the far corner of the Elevator there and turn that handle! It lowers the rope!"
"A rope's no good, Mr. Wonka. The KNIDs will bite through a rope in a second!"
"It's a steel rope," Mr. Wonka replied. "It's made of reinscorched steel. If they try to bite through that, their teeth will shatter like spillkins! To your buttons, Charlie! You've got to help me maneuver. We're going right over the top of the Capsule! We'll try to hook it there somewhere and bring them down!"
Like a battleship going into action, the Great Glass Elevator moved smoothly into position over the top of the Commuter Capsule. the KNIDs immediately stopped attacking the Capsule and went for the Elevator instead. But the Vermicious creatures were no match for the Elevator, which as Mr. Wonka had said before was indeed KNIDproof. As the beasts made their fruitless skirmishes, Grandpa Joe lowered the tow cable, and the hooked end successfully caught a twisted mechanism on the top of the Commuter Capsule, holding fast. And now, with her booster rockets blazing, the Elevator began to tow the huge Commuter Capsule back to earth.
As Mr. Wonka set about congratulating everyone for their bravery, Charlie looked back to the Commuter Capsule some thirty yards behind him. it had little windows at the front, and in the windows he could clearly see the flabbergasted faces of Shuckworth,, Shanks, and Showler. Charlie waved to them and gave them a thumbs-up signal. No one waved back, though Shuckworth gave a slight nod of gratitude. They couldn't believe what was happening.
But the worst was yet to come…as everyone looked into the distance, past the crippled Commuter Capsule, they were able to see KNIDs regrouping and changing shape, all twisting into some serpentine form as they had in the elevators of the Hotel. And they began joining together like a great oily length of chain, and one even came up to the Elevator and began wrapping itself around it. Grandma Josephine screamed again while the others watched in stupefied silence. Mr. Wonka muttered something as he flashed a rude hand gesture toward the big evil eye of the KNID, which was pressed against the glass and glaring angrily into the Elevator. Charlie glanced quickly back to the Commuter Capsule. The sheet-white faces of Shuckworth, Shanks, and Showler were pressed against the glass of the little windows, terror-struck. Once again, Charlie gave a thumbs-up sign, though it wasn't as exuberant as before. Showler acknowledged with a sickly grin, but that was all.
Suddenly, Charlie looked out to the other KNIDs, who were reaching out toward the one that had wrapped itself around the Elevator. "Mr. Wonka!" Charlie cried, "Look at the others! What are they doing?"
They had now joined up with their friend around the Elevator, and were attempting to tug it up and away. Wonka growled. "They can't do that! We're doing the towing around here!" he mashed a button on the ceiling, and the booster rockets on the Elevator fired intensely, the craft lurching downward. "We're going home! Reentry! Quick!"
It was an amazing sight…the Great Elevator streaking down toward the earth with the huge Commuter Capsule in tow behind it. but the long chain of KNIDs was coming after them, following them down, keeping pace with them easily, and now the hook of the leading KNID was actually reaching out and grasping for the hook made by the KNID around the Elevator.
"We're going to die!" screamed Grandma Georgina. "They're going to link up and haul us back!"
"I think not," said Mr. Wonka. "Don't you remember what happens when a KNID enters the earth's atmosphere at high speed? They get red hot! They burn away in a long fiery trail. They become shooting KNIDs. Soon these dirty beasts will start popping like popcorn!"
And so they did. First the KNIDs began to glow faintly, like the embers of a dying fire, then they suddenly burst into flames, sizzling like bacon in a frying pan. There was a distant screaming sound that could be heard as they continued streaking downward, presumably the wind, though Charlie imagined it was the KNIDs crying out in pain as they glowed white hot. A moment later, the remains of the horrible monsters disintegrated, nothing more than ashes. Mr. Wonka smiled to Charlie. "See? Shooting KNIDs. Happens every time they try to make atmospheric entry. That's why the people on earth are safe."
Grandpa Joe sniffed in amusement. "That was better than fireworks, I might say."
"And now we're saved," Mr. Wonka said. "But we have to be going now, yes? Enough adventure…we need to be getting back to the factory!"
"What about the Commuter Capsule?" Charlie asked.
"We'll be letting them go in a few seconds now." Mr. Wonka replied. "They have parachutes that will help them slow down when they're over the ocean. "
"How do you know we won't land in the ocean?" asked Grandma Josephine.
"I don't," answered Mr. Wonka. "But we all know how to swim, do we not?"
Though Grandma Josephine did not appreciate Mr. Wonka's sense of humor, there was nothing she could do about it. Down and down plunged the Great Glass Elevator. Nearer and nearer came the earth below. Oceans and continents rushed up to meet them, getting bigger every second…
"Grandpa Joe, sir! Throw out the rope! Let it go." ordered Mr. Wonka. "They'll be all right now, so long as their parachutes are working!"
"Rope's gone!" called out Grandpa Joe, and the huge Commuter Capsule, on its own now, began to swing away to one side. Charlie waved to the three astronauts in the front window. None of them waved back. They were still sitting in a kind of shocked daze, gaping at the old ladies and the old men and the small boy floating about in the Glass Elevator.
"It won't be long now," said Mr. Wonka, reaching for a row of tiny pale buttons in one corner. "We shall soon know whether we are alive or dead. Keep very quiet please for this final part. I have to concentrate awfully hard, or we may come down in the wrong place.
They plunged into a thick bank of clouds and for ten seconds they could see nothing. When they came out of the clouds, the Commuter Capsule was nowhere in sight, and the earth was very close, and here was only a great spread of land beneath them with mountains and forests…then fields and trees…then a small town. Then they could all see it: the spires and smokestacks of Mr. Wonka's Chocolate Factory, soon to be Charlie's…then the next moment they impacted, crashing through the roof of the highest tower with a loud bang and snapping and crumbling, and for a moment everyone feared the worst. Then all at once, the crashing stopped and the ride became smoother, as if the Elevator was riding on guides or rails, twisting and turning like a roller coaster. And when the lights came on, Charlie realized that for the last few seconds he hadn't been floating at all. He had been standing on the floor, Mr. Wonka was on the floor, too, and do was Grandpa Joe and Mr. and Mrs. Bucket and also the big bed. As for the three old ones, they must have fallen right back onto the bed, because they were now all three on top of it and scrabbling to get back under the blanket. After a few moments of traveling through some part of the factory, the Elevator stopped, the doors opening to reveal the interior of the Chocolate Room.
And standing there to meet them were hundreds of tiny Oompa-loompas, all waving and cheering. It was a sight that took one's breath away. Even Grandma Georgina was stunned into silence for a few seconds.
"These are the Oompa-loompas," Charlie told her. "They work here in Mr. Wonka's factory."